“Kick ass and speak up, use your voice!”

I have been repeatedly harassed by a gross guy who works at the public library near my house. He works as “security” but stands around and leers at women and hits on them all day. He would always talk to me in an invasive, macho way, with the tone of voice of “hey, baby” as if he was at a bar and not working as security. I was always cold to him and showed him my disgust. I observed him doing this to other women also. I complained to the library manager and she said other women had complained about him, and that they would address it with him. She told me I should speak to him directly but I didn’t want to make an issue of it at the time. He is a predator and predators are about power and control. At the time a girl I knew had been raped by her bf and we plastered anti rape signs around the town and put anti sexual harassment signs all over the library. It’s not as direct but still empowering as a way to use your voice.

He continued to harass me and nothing changed. A year ago I was on the street downtown with friends and he came up and asked for a hug. I was with other people and laughing/relaxed and he caught me off guard, although my face showed disgust he he gave me a hug which I completely regretted – I felt slimed. Awhile ago walking home in the dark up the street he made a beeline towards me, diagonally from the library, and again made a slimey comment. I gave him a look of extreme disgust and walked away.

I recently had a private meeting with him and the library manager in which I told him his behavior was unacceptable, inappropriate, and must STOP or I would press charges. I told him he disgusted me. He had a typical b.s. response saying he was just being friendly and he didn’t know what I was talking about, I told him he knows EXACTLY what I am talking about; I held him accountable. A short time after the meeting, the library manager told me she had told him directly, that’s it, no more talking to women at all. I thought it would be resolved but his creepy and predatory behavior towards me continued. Recently he was reading his book from across the library, and I was tutoring students at a table, he came to read his book right behind the bookshelf next to me, to be leering at me and invade my space, when he could have chosen to go anywhere in the library and he knows I hate him and he disgusts me, esp. after the meeting. I was busy with students and didn’t speak up at the time. He has continued to speak to me when he was told not to.

The other day I decided to confront him and am glad I did. I got fed up and who cares if I was a little aggressive, he needs to know what it’s like to have his space invaded. I went up to him, said, “I need to speak with you.” He was about to make a call on his cell and he said “wait”, I said, “no, now”, I closed his cell phone cover, got up close in his space  and went off on him, told him I had told him to stay out of my space and to not talk to me, he disrespected that, and he needs to learn respect and as soon as it happens again I’ll call the cops. He started swearing and then ran off. It felt good to be forceful and up in his face. God what a SCUMBAG he is.

The librarian clerk there saw the interaction and protected the predator saying it’s his job to walk around the library, how dare I talk to him like that? (typical b.s.). I was direct with her as well and she said I couldn’t talk to her like that, she freaked out and was very hostile. I let her know that he acts like it’s his job to harass women, and that this town is full of typical passivity b.s. and that other women have complained. It was frustrating to be attacked by this librarian, but who cares, the main thing is I used my voice and now he knows I will kick his ass and definitely call the cops if it happens again. I have taken my power back. Predators are the scum of the earth. I documented everything on paper on writing and will do everything in my power to get him fired. Thanks for letting me vent and share this story, it’s great to know there are ass kicking chicks out there.  It’s OK for women to assert themselves, and it doesn’t matter how they do it, as long as they speak up.  Kick ass and speak up, use your voice!
Submitted by Carolyn B.

One response to ““Kick ass and speak up, use your voice!”

  1. Carolyn—

    YOU ROCK GIRL!!! I completely agree with your course of action, and I would say that in addition to trying to rally the other women who have complained (to also write down his advances towards them should–or rather, when you press charges). Because you are also a tutor, I would definitely make it a point to somehow weave in your viewpoints when teaching the children. Clearly I don’t think you should overstep your boundaries, since you are just a tutor (based on what you said, although if you are a teacher you could go much further than this), but you could take a few minutes at each session and just go over appropriate and inappropriate behavior when dealing with strangers AND acquaintances. However, if you want to bring this to your local schools and speak about it (and the man in general terms without causing a scene) I say that would also be a great idea to spread the message to the students so they don’t fall victim to it or start doing it themselves.

    Finally, I would check into the legality of this, but if you can get any kind of photographic, audio or visual evidence of this douchebag’s behavior towards you or other women, I say go for it. Again, check with your town’s laws so the evidence isn’t used against you (I’ve seen it happen many times before), but it can be a powerful tool. Also, if you have time, ask or try to conduct a background check on this guy—maybe at his previous jobs it’s happened before. Does your library have any kind of security cameras? Chances are they would pick up some disturbing evidence too.

    Best of luck–and seriously, when you have enough evidence slap the handcuffs on this guy.

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