Nothing Gets Between Me and my Culottes

I was waiting on the corner of Lindbrook and Westwood near UCLA and a middle aged man tapped me on my shoulder and informed me that he was trying to tell me something. I had been busy talking with my friend so I hadn’t heard him so I asked him what he had to say.
him: “I like your culottes*. I really dig your culottes.”
* culottes are cropped pants
me: “oh thank you.”
him: “yeah. I really like your culottes. I want to get between them and your thighs
me: “what?” with a look of utter astonishment on my face.
him: “Think about that while you take your bath tonight.”
at which point the light changed and my friend and I crossed the street to get away from him. I was stunned and disturbed by that exchange. Luckily I haven’t seen him since.

written by Tru, Los Angeles CA

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