racial discrimination, Verbal

Hoda’s Story: You’re racism is not witty

Hi, I’m a Muslim girl and proud to be. I wear the hijab (head scarf) every wear I go and I have been told several offensive comments and this is one of one of the many encounters I’ve had with an Islamaphobe.
One day me and my friend were shopping at the mall and while we were walking to the next store we were walking by a man and his girlfriend and while we passed he stared at me and said “BOOM!” and him and his girlfriend started to laugh at us but we just ignored them and continued walking. I know that isn’t nearly as bad as it gets, I’ve known people who have been physically assaulted just because they were wearing a head scarf.
I really want to but a stop to this type of harassment and that’s why I’m here.

one comment 
Assault, Verbal

Sara’s Story: The importance of standing up for yourself

#1: I was fifteen years old, crossing a busy street in a small town. A young man leaned out the back window of a slow-moving car and yelled: “I want to f**k you!” I stopped in the middle of the street and shouted back “Marry me, Captain Romance! I want to have your babies!” He peeled rubber.

#2: I was sixteen years old, riding the # 16 bus to the ferry terminal with friends. I was the last one off at our stop, a young man stood up in front of me and started pushing me toward the back of the bus. He put his hand between my legs and grabbed my pubis. I picked him up and threw him across the bus.

#3: I was twenty-eight, walking out of a bar with a friend. A strange man tried to grab my breast as I walked past him. I grabbed his hand, threw it at him, and kept walking. When I looked back, he was gaping at me like a clubbed fish.

There were many, many more of these sorts of incidents in my teens and twenties, these are my favorites because they ended well. The others ended with me slinking off feeling contaminated and afraid. But I do think that it is perfectly okay to fight back, to hit, kick, punch and bite, if someone puts unwanted hands on my person. So I celebrate those times when I remembered to stand up for myself in the heat of the moment. It’s important.

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Verbal

Cathy’s Story: Not a blissful honeymoon

I was on my honeymoon with my husband RIGHT NEXT TO ME and some men approached and said they wanted to fuck me.

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groping, Verbal

Serenity Elizabeth’s Story: My night is none of your business

After a clumsy night with my friends that left bruises and scratches on my legs I was walking home with shorts on. An old man said “rough night,” pinched my butt and walked away.

one comment 
groping, Verbal

Flora’s Story: Don’t hug me, creep.

As part of a mixed sixth-form in an all boys school, I’m used to demeaning comments and harassment in the corridors by immature 14 year olds – but there’s one guy who’s in my year. He constantly hugs the girls, which is OK if you’re close friends, but he hugs really tight and slightly too long. One time he smelt me while hugging me,despite the fact that I was clearly uncomfortable and was trying to step away. In addition to this he has made incredibly inappropriate comments to my boyfriend, ranging from so-called “compliments” about my appearance to “can I join in?” and “I want to j*zz in her mouth”. That’s right, he said that to my boyfriend. Everyone was incredibly awkward and I was simply freaked out – I barely knew him! We try to avoid him from now on, though he still forces hugs on me if he does see me.

2 comments 
public masturbation, Verbal

Sarmistha’s Story: Don’t tolerate idiocy

Today after I came out from the library one Turkish teenager passed a comment: “Wanna fuck!” I stopped there.  I wanted to take him to the police.  Three other friends joined him and started humiliating me.  He told me: “I am a gay…and I fuck him everyday!” (showing his friend to me). Everyone started laughing. When I left the place they shouted: “I wanna fuck you!”  I had this enough in my country. Why the fuck am I studying Gender?

My race, class, gender, ethnicity play major roles here in this context. How many times will I ignore this, how many time swill I just pretend that I didn’t hear?  My ex-landlord and flatmate started masturbating in front of me….. How many times do I have to tolerate this?

no comments 
Assault, demonstration, Verbal

Lena’s story: Harassment that turns to assault

A group of guys were in front of a corner store. I was walking down the street with my mom. I was about 17 years old. When we passed them, they called me out identifying me by what I had on. I wasn’t dressed provocatively. I had on baggy jeans and sneakers and a tee shirt. They started kissing and hissing at me asking me if they could walk with me and asking if I can have my number. I shook my head no and kept walking. They kept calling at me and I just ignored them. When I got about a block away one of em yelled out to me, called me a b*tch and threw a bottle at me!

The glass broke just near my feet and shattered near my mom and I. My mom wanted to go back and cuss them out but that wouldn’t have been a good idea since it was a group of them and there were only two of us. So we walked away.

Now I am in my 30s (though I look like Im in my 20s) and I still deal with Harassment. Nobody has thrown a bottle at me but I still get hissed at, kissed at and cat called. I have even had my hand grabbed on different occasions. What is wrong with people!? I dont get why people feel so comfortable invading peoples personal space and being disrespectful. Then when you tell them not to touch you or to leave you alone, they get mad like YOU did something wrong.

no comments 
demonstration, public masturbation, Verbal

Helen’s story: It’s non-stop

The latest in one of so many of these situations was on my way home from Tufnell Park tube station. I walked past the pub just outside the tube where a man was smoking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look me up and down, make a noise of approval and decided the most appropriate comment was ‘ooo, ‘ello’. Lovely. I looked at him in disgust and carried on walking. I never like to reply to such people for fear of my safety even if it leaves me fuming.

One of the worst situations was coming home late at night from a party with 2 female friends, this was in Hales Place, Canterbury. A man on a bike came up level with us with his crown jewels in hand and started rubbing himself. He said ‘you girls look gagging for it’ and continued to follow us until he realised we wouldn’t give him a reaction.

Even when walking along holding hands with my 6 foot boyfriend doesn’t seem to put off some people. For example a car-full of teenage morons who decided to hang out of their windows, making rude gestures. On this occasion I decided to retaliate as not only did this offend me, but both of us as to sexually harrass a girl in front of her boyfriend just seems beyond rudeness. So I gave them the finger. Childish, but seemingly appropriate.

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demonstration, Verbal

Rosie’s story: Growing up amidst harassment

Although I had been harassed in the street prior to this incident this is the first time I felt frightened. Even though it was midday on a saturday and I was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt a man in a car decided to approach me, a then 15 year old girl on her own. As he slowed down next to me and said “Hey”, I stopped as I naively thought he might be looking for directions at he was at a dead end. He asked me if I was with anyone and I stupidly said I was alone. He went on to ask if I wanted a lift to wherever I was going, for my number, even though I was obviously underage. It ended when I speeded up walking away down a pedestrian only walkway so he couldn’t follow me. After this I felt scared and wondered what I had done to encourage such behavior. I felt guilty for talking to him, and for thinking he had innocent intentions. Now, as a twenty year old woman, I face harassment every day in the bar I work at and have no problem putting men back in their place! I know now where to draw the line when it comes to “friendly” conversations.

no comments 
demonstration, Verbal

k2’s story: Faking orgasms

I was crossing the street and some mid 20 year old guy made fake orgasm sounds. >:(

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