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I live across from an autobody shop and experienced daily harassment from the men who worked there (middle of the day during work hours, all backgrounds). I’m dressed for the grocery store and they’re hollering, whistling, or just making loud, unneccesary noises at me. Clicking their tongues at me? How little you must care for a human being to reduce your interaction (harassment) to sounds you’d use to coo an animal. Anyway I began to tell them to fuck off, yelling it at them from across the street, which is embarassing as it’s right infront of an educational facility. I told my boyfriend about it many times but, as men who don’t have these experiences do, mostly gave me a “that’s weird” and brushed it off. Finally one day we were walking by and I told my boyfriend “it’s funny how they only show me respect because i am walking with a man” when we were almost at my front door and one of them yelled “YOU’VE GOT A FAT ASS”. My boyfriend quickly turned and stormed over and demanded that they show me some respect. The harassment stopped immediately, they have not bothered me since. But now, i feel angry with myself for not being the one with the power to end this situation on my own. I want to know how to stop this as a woman without endangering myself.
Published on November 21, 2014 at 11:08 pmno comments
I was at the mall, browsing for Christmas gifts and killing time before meeting a friend for lunch. In Goldsboro, the mall is pretty deserted during the weekday. I was walking, texting my husband, minding my own business, and it shouldn’t matter, but I was wearing a jacket and a crew neck t-shirt, and looseish jeans, when I heard…
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmm-MMM”. I realized that the sound came from a group of three males walking in the other direction. At first I felt vaguely gratified, because I’ve been trying to lose weight. Then I felt dirty, horrible, and ashamed, because I realized that it sounded like he was looking at a plate of brownies or a steak.
I turned around, and realized all three were walking backwards to keep their gaze on my backside. It would have been comical if I wasn’t so offended by having treated like a side of bacon.
I saw red, and informed this group of men that I was a person, not a slab of meat, and the next time they wanted to treat a woman that way, they should keep their goddamn mouths shut. They started laughing, and then one said, “Fucking cracker cunts” and walked off.
I have never felt so angered and humiliated in my life.
Published on November 21, 2014 at 8:22 pmno comments
I was 12 years old when I was sexually harassed for the first time. It was at a public event. I was seated in an auditorium and couldn’t get away. The incident involved verbal comments and touching. The harasser ignored my requests to stop. When I spoke up about what happened I was reminded that I was thin, had blonde hair and blue eyes so I should probably get used to it as “boys will be boys”.
These sorts of incidents have played out time and time again throughout my life. These days I wear a few extra pounds that I have come to realize are for self-protection. I’ve learned that if I dare to lose a few pounds and dress nicely, the harassment will begin again.
I also understand why men feel under attack by this campaign. I don’t believe most men engage in this sort of behavior. At the same time we need men on our side to help send the message that this sort of behavior is not funny or harmless and is certainly not “a compliment”.
Published on November 21, 2014 at 5:40 pmno comments
On Saturday night, I went to a beautiful concert downtown Seattle with six of my closest friends. The gorgeous venue and music made me feel alive and free and full. On our way back to the car a couple of blocks away, we were verbally harassed by a car full of men catcalling to us out the window, talking about our body parts, etc. This went on for an entire block. The evening had been so perfect. I was pissed that even a small portion of the evening with my dear friends was ruined by being forced to endure a verbal sexual assault at the end of our night.
Published on November 21, 2014 at 2:53 pmno comments
I work behind a bar so take your pick! Last night a couple of lads shouting ‘stop staring at her arse’ to each other so I could hear as I was taking lights down from the ceiling….then the obligatory ‘bye gorgeous’ and sleazy wink as they left…. An older man at the bar holding onto my hand for what felt like forever while repeatedly telling me how beautiful I am and that it’s nice ‘to have something to look at’ for a change….
Published on November 21, 2014 at 2:03 pmno comments