Stalking, transphobic, Verbal

Not Your Girl’s Story: “This Could Have Turned Out Much Worse”

Walking my dog at night while talking to a friend on the phone, I heard someone behind me getting closer. He kept saying “girl, girl slow down” and “common don’t be that way.”

I didn’t think he was talking to me because I am a post transition trans man with facial hair, and I was in deep conversation. My dog stopped to smell something and I saw the shadow of his hand reaching toward my ass. He was only a foot away. I turned around, looked him in the eye, and said loudly, “Hey!” He pulled his hand back, and I started walking away quickly trying to get to the well-lit 300 N.

I informed my friend on the phone of the situation, where I was, and gave a description of the dude…He continued following me shouting, “Hey it, hey he-she, I got something for your mouth.”

He followed me for 8 blocks turning where I turned and ducking behind bushes so I couldn’t see him then popping out and cat calling again. I kept my friend on the phone with location updates until I turned a sharp corner and hid in an apartment complex until he went by so I could get home.

I am so grateful for my friends at Hollaback! Baltimore who taught me things to do in these situations because this could have turned out much worse. I’m still shaken but I decided to post on here right away so others in Salt Lake City could be aware in this part of town at 11pm.

Dude description: white dude ,skinny , guessing 5’8 ish, patchy mustache and chin hair, buzzed head and a neck tat of words.

I've got your back!
16+

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Verbal

HOLLA ON THE GO: Harassers Turn Defensive

I live right in downtown San Jose, and men in my cul de sac have made multiple sexual comments about me over the past few weeks. I usually turn back and give the asshole who said it a piece of my mind. The fourth (!!) guy to do it immediately freaked out when I approached him, calling me a “rude ugly bitch.” Now when I walk past they all yell about how I’m such a dumb bitch.

The cops won’t do anything “until they touch me.” A+ for San Jose PD.

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10+

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Verbal

HOLLA ON THE GO: Regretting Missing the Bus

I was walking to my bus stop this morning, and I saw the bus go by, meaning I missed it. So I stopped to look at my phone to find the next time. Then this man in a car passed by me, smiled, and parked at the nearby restaurant. When he got out, he kept saying “sweetie,” so I started walking fast, but he kept yelling for me. As I was walking towards a safe place, I saw his car driving back around. He turned around and pulled by me, continuing to yell. I finally yelled for him to fuck off and he cussed back at me and drove off.

I've got your back!
9+

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Verbal

Lara’s Story: “I Found That Sad”

My name is Lara, I’m 15 years old. All of the cases of street harassment have been while I was running, and this time was no exception. I was out on a rather long run, and I had stopped at an intersection to catch my breath and wait for traffic to clear. Suddenly, I was approached by a group of young teenage boys that couldn’t have been any older than 13 years old. They asked me if my side hurt from running, as well as another question I didn’t quite hear. As I jogged away they yelled, “She got an ass though!” at me. I didn’t really feel threatened by this, but these kids were so young, and they were already perpetrating street harassment. I found that sad.

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28+

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Verbal

Lisa’s Story: “It’s Better for Their Ego to Be a White Knight Instead”

I just experienced sexism in the workplace, and I stomped it out. Success!

I work in the upstairs area of a building with several other co-workers. Most of my colleagues upstairs are male (this will be relevant).

There is only one printer upstairs, with approximately thirteen people using it on a daily basis. As a result, the paper in the machine runs out fairly quickly. I refill the machine about twice per month. In order to do so, I must retrieve the paper from a supply closet downstairs. In my two years of working where I do, only once has another person retrieved more paper for the printer. Twice, if you count another person who only needed more paper for their own print job.

I usually hear at least one comment from someone as I’m going back upstairs with the box of paper. It’s heavy, but I’m able to carry it for the short time it takes. The comments are mostly about how a man should be carrying it, a man should be helping me, etc. These comments come from both men and women, who have been conditioned to believe that women are fragile and weak. Brainwashing is a scary thing, folks!

I normally respond to these comments with a sarcastic laugh, a “Riiight,” or something light. But today, I didn’t! Because sexism is a load of crap. It really is.

Whenever I go into the supply closet, I usually need to tell one of my co-workers downstairs that I’m taking a box of paper, so that they can then inform the person who is responsible for replenishing the closet. This person is a man (this will also be relevant).

Well, today this person was going into the closet, so I went directly to him to ask if I could get in and take a box of paper. He warmly obliged, and unlocked the door for me.

Here’s how the dialogue proceeded:

Him: “You just need some paper?”
Me: “Yeah, just one box of 8.5″ x 11″. Ah, here it is.” *crouches down to pick it up*
Him: “Whoa, you’re going to take that whole box upstairs? Can’t you get one of the guys up there to get it?”
Me: *pauses mid-crouch without making eye-contact* “What, am I not worthy or something?”
Him: “Nah, it’s just… What are you, 135, 130?”
Me: “Hell if I know, man.”
Him: “And that box is about 45 pounds, so-”
Me: *cuts him off* “Yeah, I got it. I do this all the time.”
Him: “Well why don’t you just take the reams up separately?”
Me: *laughs* “Nah, I got it.”
Him: “You can just take half of the paper up today, and then come back for the rest tomorrow. How about that?”
Me: “Nah, I’m good. I need the paper today.” *picks up the box and starts walking out*
Him: “Okay… Well I’ll close the door behind you.”
Me: “Thanks!”

His tone was incredibly infantilizing when he was asking me to take half of the paper today, and half tomorrow. It was like he was trying to negotiate with a child. Too funny.

It did shut him up, though. The ratio of a person’s stature to the weight of an object is not a valid argument. It was strange how he continued to come up with anything to deter me.

The funny thing is, everybody wants to be the hero when it comes to seeing a woman carry something heavy, especially up stairs. They all want to be saviors and help the damsel in distress, but they can’t be bothered to get off their asses and do it when it needs to be done in the first place. They could be the ones going downstairs for the paper initially, but it’s better for their ego to be a white knight instead.

NOT WITH ME. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you that you can’t do something because you’re a woman or girl. Trust in yourself enough to know that if you need help, you will ask for it. But otherwise, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO.

I've got your back!
19+

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Verbal

No Name’s Story: Simply “Disgusting”

So I was walking to an ice cream store in a cute town in Massachusetts with my parents, my aunt, uncle, and cousin. I see a pickup truck driving in our direction with some guy in a snapback sticking his head out the window. He actually yelled “nice legs” out of his car while looking at me while I was with my family. Disgusting.

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14+

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Verbal

Natalie ‘s Story: Disrespected in the Absence of a Male Friend

I remember the first time this happened to me. I was in 7th grade coming home on the bus near the end of the school year. I usually sat with my best friend (a guy) and there had never been any problem with the three older boys who sat behind us all the time. That day my friend wasn’t there, and a sat alone with another girl across from me. Also that day, it happened to be getting pretty hot, but because of the dress code, I had to wear a jacket over my dress. Like any normal human being would, I took of my jacket on the bus.

Before I knew it, one of the boys behind me started to say things like, ¨Damn, nice tits¨ and ¨Glad your boyfriend isn’t here,” which in my position was pretty scary. I turned around and told them to fuck off, which got me the response, ¨Wow, that pretty little bitch has a vocabulary.¨ Not only was this happening, but one of the other boys sat down next to me. He didn’t do anything, but he was a little too close for comfort. After all of that, I told no one but the male principle, whose response was pretty much ¨boys will be boys.¨

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16+

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Verbal

Ally’s Story: “I Really Don’t Understand Why”

I decided to take a walk to this 24-hour coffee shop down the street from my apartment to visit a friend who was working. It was late at night, so I was of course being careful and paying attention, but the walk is only about 2 blocks. I don’t want to be too scared to walk two blocks. But apparently, I ought to be, because on my way there some men driving by leaned out their windows and yelled, “Damn!!” while leering at me. I glared at them, and thankfully they kept driving, but I didn’t feel safe enough at that point to keep going to the coffee shop and then have to walk back later, so I just turned right around and went home.

I don’t understand the need of some people to assert the way they feel like that. Do they not get that it is an intimidation tactic? Or do they get it, and they think I need to be frightened? Are they just curious as to what the reaction will be? I really don’t understand why, because I’m a woman, I ought to be scared to walk two blocks down my own street.

I've got your back!
13+

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Verbal

Erin’s Story: “I Don’t Feel Safe Here”

My cousin is getting married next month, and I am unable to attend due to distance and money issues. I decided to go to the drug store on the way home from running errands to pick up a nice card for her and her fiancée.

On the way home I heard a voice shouting “Hey! Hey!” I turned to see a man in his mid 70s walking towards me. I figured he was going to ask for directions and waited for him.

He gave me a smile and said “Your summer outfit makes my heart beat fast and I want to f*** you!”

I frowned and shook my head “no.” When I turned to go he repeated it and began to follow me.

I flat out lied saying I had a boyfriend and he was waiting for me.

Even then he did not give up! He demanded proof of this boyfriend and asked why I didn’t have an engagement ring on? He wanted to know where I lived among other things.

Finally I said I had to leave as I had people waiting for me and got out of there. When I told the police about what happened they said there was nothing that they could do. They said it’s not illegal to talk to people on the street.

It makes me want to never leave my home. I’ve been harassed by men many, many times in this town. If I had the money I’d leave. I don’t feel safe here.

I've got your back!
20+

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Verbal

HOLLA ON THE GO: Happening Way Too Often

I experienced cat calling and construction workers making lewd comments towards me.

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11+

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