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I’m a 17 year old girl who has never, once in her life been cat called. I’d always thought that if it were to happen, I’d be able to respond quickly and sassy. It was a sunny day in San Diego, and my family and I had just finished eating at Anthony’s Fish Grotto. I was trailing a little behind because I was taking pictures and just enjoying the day. As we walked down the street, two middle aged guys came walking towards me. I didn’t really know what to do, and I assumed they were going to ask for directions or something of the sort. Still, it felt strange. I tried to step around them, but one sort of stepped in front of me. By this point, my family was pretty far ahead and I was panicked. One of them whistled and said “Hey gorgeous! How about I be your drunk tour guide in bed?” while the other one tired to swing his arm around me. I stepped back and walked quickly towards my parents while the other one told me to “Cheer up already.” They trailed behind me for a little while and actually followed until we entered the Mid Way Museum, when they finally left.
I didn’t really mention anything, because I was so confused and uncomfortable. I felt creeped out and all of a sudden my shorts felt way to short. I wore my jacket despite the heat and kept looking over my shoulder expecting them to show up again. I felt like some sort of piece of meat, and I hated being scared. I was so mad at myself for not saying anything and for running away. We are here in San Diego for another 6 days, and honestly, I don’t want to leave the hotel. I don’t want to wear swimsuits or shorts. I feel violated in some way and I don’t know if I’m being overdramatic but I’m 17 and they were old and it just felt gross. I just do not know what to do.
When I entered the town hall and proceeded to the waiting area, I passed a family including a guy in approximately his twenties. I didn’t get a good look but when I passed, I heard the typical clucking/chirping noise one gets from men trying to attract your attention. I tried to tell myself I was overreacting and not to judge so quickly.
When I was called up for my appointment I walked past the group again. I saw the guy approach me from the corner of my eye and he said something to me in a language I couldn’t understand. It was obviously offensive though, made so much more obvious by the fact that one of his female relatives said something to him which sounded like a shocked admonishment of what he had said (again: foreign language).
After my appointment, I had to walk past him a third time – this time already nervously anticipating another comment. He walked toward me again, however refrained from a comment this time.
I think many men probably cannot understand how frustrating even seemingly minor incidents like these are. I HATE when men say something obviously disgusting to me in a language I can’t understand. I KNOW what they most likely said, but feel like I lack the “proof” in order to be able to say something about it. Quite apart from the fact that I can never think of a good comeback fast enough.
I was loading groceries into the back of my car at 7:30 at night in the dark. Two men came up to me, asking me if I was a “nasty girl” because I looked like a “nasty girl” who would “be out on the town tonight.” I was wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals. I ignored them and shoved the groceries into the back of my car as quickly as possible. With the key in hand, I turned and faced them dead on, shoved my shopping cart at them, and jumped in my car just in time to hear one say, “That was rude, you dumb bitch.” Then I drove away as quickly as possible. I realize this was relatively “harmless,” but the fact that I was alone in the dark in a parking lot actually made it quite terrifying. How can a person know when a comment is going to go from just words to actions? Very scary.
It was a hot day and I was walking from the university campus back to my car. A man in a pickup truck drove by me slowly on one street. I cut through a parking lot to the next street where my car was, and as I got into my car, the pickup truck approached from the opposite direction. The man leaned out of the window and asked for directions to a nearby street. I pointed straight ahead, rather vaguely, and he didn’t look. He just leaned out of the window and said, “Do you want to fuck?” I said, “Go away!” and then rolled up my window, locked my door, and drove away. Fortunately, I was already in the car when he said that, so I didn’t panic; I could just hit the lock and turn the key. At the time, I thought about a rash of rapes that had happened in that neighborhood, and I remembered hearing on the news that the rapist had been caught. I felt silly for thinking of a serial rapist, just because a man had said, “Do you want to fuck?” but he was really creepy, I was very young, and I didn’t know what to think about it.For years afterward, when I recalled that day, the detail that stuck in my mind was that I wasn’t wearing a bra. Now I wonder if by remembering that detail, I was thinking maybe it was my fault. It was just such an automatic response to wonder if I’d done something to provoke it. So stupid. He was just a nasty creep and I happened to cross his path.
I am 14 years old…I look older but I am only 14. My dad never lets me go out by my self because of the neighbor hood we live in. Well one day he finally let me go by myself I was thankful because I wanted to go to a church but I really didn’t need my parents tagging along to make a confession. I was walking and I realized the church lights weren’t on so I decided to call the church. As I am on the phone a red truck drives by, he honks and waves his had at me. If that wasn’t enough he turned back and did it again…2 time…3 times, it happened. I was scared out of my mind. He was trying to pull the truck up close to me and talk to me. I didn’t see his face clearly because of my eye sight so I have no idea if he might have actually been someone I know but I’m 14 years old. I am terrified. It literally just happened and I ran home. I so scared, I was thinking of calling 911 about it but I don’t know if I should. None of the details were clear I was in panic. What should I do should I report it? what is it was someone who actually knew me? WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!?!
There was an event at my work, and I was on the sidewalk of the main road, walking down and putting little lawn signs along the way. As I was walking, I heard a bunch of guys screaming out of their window, but I ignored it and didn’t bother looking over. They were on the other side of the road anyways, with a median separating both lanes of traffic. Several minutes later, they had turned at the light, and made their way into the packing lot right next to the lawns were I was putting signs. Now that I got a look at the car, there was at least three guys I could see now hanging out of their windows, screaming at me to come over to them and into into the car. I started walking quickly in the other direction while words of “sexy” and “c’mon, dance for me” where being scouted at me from the car. When I got a good distance away they started booing me and yelling insults before driving off out of the lot.
As I was walking to the last day of a volunteer training for a peer support program, I approached an intersection and was waiting for the light to change. From about 5 steps away I could see a young man (nope, boy) start to make his way towards me. Over my podcast, as he fell in step with me, I could here the “yeah babies,” kiss sounds, ect. (girls, you know what I am talking about). As always I gave my disgusted look, and then forced myself to stare straight, and ignore. As I was waiting to cross the street, with the boys words getting closer, I felt a hand on my rear. This was not your average “good game” pat, or a little pinch, which is bad enough! No this was the type of gesture that only the most intimate person in your life would do in private. This was a full on ass grab that immediately made me feel fear, violated, dirty, angry, sad, and embarrassed.
I told him to F off, and screamed as loud as I could to him. I went to chase after him but he was much quicker and was now far from me. And as to throw salt into the wound he skipped along, looking back, and laughed! He laughed and smiled and giggled at my fear and humiliation. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes, and I started back on my trek. As thoughts swam around my head, and a cauldron of feelings tried to boil over, I approached my destination, but not before another boy (this person was well over 40 but is no man in my eyes) was able to get in a few “damn girl you thick,” and “oh yeahs!”
I told a few people at the training, all were sympathetic to an extent but the overall feeling was “oh yeah, I hate when that happens!” IS THAT IT? Is that what women of our generation have become use to? Well not me, not anymore! I will not let this happen to me anymore, I will not be subject to a boys sick amusement!
I was walking by a house on a residential street and an old man came out of his house yelling “hey!” in a gravelly voice and proceeded to follow me yelling “woman!” and other things I couldn’t make out. I was able to run away before he got close to me but now I’m afraid to walk on that street again.
I was approached by a guy asking for change because he lost his charlieticket. Once I stopped to help him he started making comments about my jeans and my ass
Je marchais à la gare rapidement pour retirer de l’argent avant de rejoindre mon copain et voilà qu’un homme fonce droit sur moi et juste avant de passer, approche son visage à 5cm du mien pour accomplir un geste et bruit obscènes de la bouche. J’ai gueulé après lui, et la seule chose que deux jeunes passant à ce moment ont trouvé à faire, c’est glousser dans leur coin. Tremblante de rage et de dégoût, j’ai fini en pleurs, avec l’horrible sensation d’une intrusion dans mon espace intime.
I walked to a station quickly to withdraw money before returning to my boyfriend and suddenly a man is bearing down on me and just before passing, puts his face 5cm from mine to make a gesture and obscene sound . I yelled after him, and the only thing that two young people passing at that time found to do was giggle in their corner. Trembling with rage and disgust, I ended up in tears, with the horrible feeling of intrusion into my private space.