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I have zero tolerance for anyone who makes overtly sexual comments to woman, especially if they don’t know them, however like most of us I guess I used to feel that bowing my head and not saying anything was helping me.
It wasn’t and it wasn’t helping them realize their idiotic ways either.
So on my usual trip home I encountered the same general comments on a section home near the local pub… no surprises there. However this time I decided to comment back…
Mid 40’s Creep: “Hey looking good, all you need now is a smile!”
Although I would have usually kept walking I turned and I said “And all you need is to loose the creepy attitude, but have a nice day…” With a gigantic smile on my face that screamed sarcasm and my middle finger raised high.
I got called a bitch after saying it… And again I turned and said “Well maybe if you weren’t such a disrespectful asshole I wouldn’t need to be. Now have a lovely lonely evening sir.” Again with the biggest smile I could.
He didn’t know what hit him…
Proudest Moment Ever!!!! Gonna do this from now on… Smiles and Sarcasm seemed to work against these brainless creeps.
I was walking across the USC campus parking lot in the middle of the day when a middle-aged man called to me from the sidewalk. He was standing with a parking guard. He said, “Excuse me, young lady, aren’t you going to say hi to two handsome men?”, gesturing to the guard and himself. They were both smirking. I smiled and kept walking and he called after me, “That’s better, sweetheart.”
It doesn’t matter where or you are, if you are not “controlled” by men, they feel the need to establish their power. What they don’t realize is, that makes them all the more powerless.
Was walking thru Times Square after work at 11pm Saturday Sept 20, looking down texting my boyfriend (not that it should matter but I was wearing somewhat baggy jeans and a blousy three quarter length Tshirt) when an apparent comedy club ticket seller with no teeth (short guy in a black hat and suit jacket) shouted at me “Hey you should smile!” And I flipped around and told him no thank you he continued talking saying he was a comedian and wanted “me” to smile.
Then a block later on 46th and 7th a guy standing in a group of two guys and a girl at a hot dog stand, repeatedly yelled to me “hey miss! Hey miss!”. I ignored him thinking he either wasn’t talking to me and if he was I wasn’t about to entertain him. He then yelled “hey BITCH!” I stopped , turned around, glared at him and said excuse me!? He laughed in my face, as well as the other two guys and girl while he bragged to them “told you she’d turn around”. I was so angry and shocked I just continued on my way home.
Craving a late night cup of joe from the Starbucks in the Duke Hospital, my friend and I waited on the corner to cross the five-lane deserted street. Entranced in our conversation, we hardly noticed the car slowing to a stop on our left. Before making their right turn, the men in the car decided it would be appropriate to halt mid-turn and comment on our “asses” and “how fine” we are and that they would love to “give us a ride.” I wonder how could they even see our asses, considering it was the middle of winter and we had on more layers than an onion. Scared, we didn’t make eye contact or reply, hoping they would just go on their way. Luckily, they kept on driving, while we ran across the road into the safety of the hospital.
I was walking my dog at around 11 pm in a family housing area on a military base when a male at a house across the street, presumably there for a party or something, started hollering at me about my “tiny shorts” and walking around by myself at night. I didn’t hear anyone else in the group either encourage or discourage him. I considered yelling back at him, or even just flipping him off, but decided against it for my safety as I was approaching a darker and less populated area. Just goes to show street harassment is an across-the-board issue.
I was leaving a grocery store at about 8pm on a Friday night, when I passed a couple of very drunk men in the parking lot. One of them slur-whispered “Oh baby, so beautiful” to me in Spanish, followed by something else that I couldn’t hear. When I didn’t break eye contact, he then said “hi” to me in English. “Oh hi,” I said, and then I asked him, in Spanish, whether he was sure that he didn’t want to say anything else to me. So gross.
Dude standing right in the middle of my path on the sidewalk, rubbing himself quite visibly and leering at me. When I asked him what was wrong with him, he asked me if I wanted to do it.
I was walking up the hill on my way home and had a bunch of guys hanging out of their car yelling ‘hey sexy’ and other things. One of them tried to slap my ass from the window and the car got very close to me! I was unable to say anything or so anything because it happened so fast!
My story is not necessarily about one incident but many over my time here in New York. I live in a neighborhood where I am, on average, verbally harassed about 3-5 times a week. These interactions range from kissing and sucking noises, to verbal assaults (hey baby look at that fat ass) to derogatory intentions hidden behind kind words (Oh, God Bless you, baby) and beyond. One time a man was saying very rude things, and while that was happening another man drove up in a car and yelled “don’t talk to him baby, talk to me!” I screamed “thats harassment” to him as he drove off.
I’ve also been physical groped. When I was groped I chased after the man but unfortunately lost him in the crowd. I was fortunate that the cops were supportive and drove me around looking for him, but I know that is not every woman’s experience.
For a while I just dealt with it, but I’m at my wits end. Its to the point where I have actually started emotionally preparing myself for the three block walk from my apartment to the train. When I had the thought “well, maybe I should just stop wearing yoga pants in public” I knew that they and gotten into my head and it was time to do something.
I’ve begun confronting these men. Some engage while most walk away as if nothing has happened.
On a run in my neighborhood today, a man in a car passing me wolf whistled. As a minor, (I’m only 14!), it was my first negative experience of such a kind.
It made me feel unsafe to be running alone because I knew other people with more physical power (a man in a car) were looking at my body sexually, and I could do nothing about it, even if they chose to pursue me further.
I am also deeply disturbed to realize that even as a minor running in a family community, I can be made to feel unsafe.
I want to end street harassment because it makes me feel unsafe and unhappy, and that is no way for any person to feel!