Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
I am not a native Oregonian and most locals are surprised to hear me say that I am excited for the dreary wet winters. Its true that I do enjoy the rainy weather, but the weather comes with an added bonus: the park where I walk my dog multiple times a day is finally deserted of the men who typically hang out there and harass women. It is a daily occurrence during the fair weather months and was something that I had not experienced with such frequency before. I have been followed and had my personal space invaded, a man screamed in my face about “how good I would get it” from him… all in broad daylight since there is no way I will set foot outside my apartment alone after dark. I always ignore the harassment but it always makes me so angry and frustrated and it is not an emotional state that I can simply “let go of” once I had moved away from the incident. I began wearing my headphones with my music turned up as high as I could stand and wearing sunglasses. If a man passes me on the street I keep my head down and do not make eye contact. This behavior served to discourage verbal assaults and my sunglasses make me more intimidating and unapproachable. Having my headphones in gives me the added bonus of not being in an emotional funk for the rest of the day since I cant hear an assault if it does happen. At first I was proud of myself for coming up with these tactics to make myself “impervious” to verbal assault, but now I have realized that I am not empowering myself, I am hiding. And I should not have to hide from anyone in broad daylight two blocks from my apartment.
(19) I was waiting at a bus stop and a truck with two males (who looked mid twenties) was at a red light as this is on a busy street . They cat calling and whistling at me . Staring at me like I was some piece of meat . I gave them an evil glare and they simply laughed at me . I was going to talk back but they sped off before I had the chance .
I was walking alone to a bus stop. A guy in a truck was going past me and then I noticed the truck again ! It looked like someone I knew and he pulled into a private but still public place so I peered over . He smirked at me , pointed up at me , made a gesture to offer me money like I was a prostitute and motioning me to get in the car!! Mind you I am wearing pants and a t shirt . I walk away but the truck followed me . I ran to the student dorms and hid with my friend.
This incident is over 25 years ago but it is still is relevant today. Since I was 12, catcalling by random men was daily fact of life. I remember feeling so frightened and confused by the comments made. Over time, you keep your head down, make no eye contact and learn to ignore it. Then, I became a mom…my first daughter.
She was only 3 years old…still in diapers. We were at an intersection waiting for the traffic light to let us cross the street. A man walked up beside us. He asked me to smile, etc..the usual. I ignored it. Then he looked at my child. “Beautiful baby” he said. He licked his lips and remarked, “she’s gonna be delicious when she 16″.
My rage was unstoppable. After my rant, he just put up his hands. No problem babe, he said. You’re delicious too. I never felt more afraid for my and my child’s safety. My sense of security was damaged forever.
I’m 55 years old now. The catcalling doesn’t happen anymore and my family has long since moved out the area. I have grandsons and new granddaughter is on her way. I worry about her and what she will face.
My husband is the exemplar of a gentleman. He would never do that to any woman. If you did it to one his daughters, you’d risk your life.
Gentlemen, help us!
A man followed me along with with my co workers, some were male, to the crosswalk towards our parking lot. He snapped a picture of my ass while we were waiting for the light. My male Co worker heard the snap and threw his phone to the ground.
I’m living in Calama, Chile which is effectively the shit- center of the universe. It’s a mining town occupied by double the amount of men as it is women. I’m white, I’ve never been a minority until I came here to teach English short term. I walk 6 blocks to the school in the morning, and in that time I get stared at, kissed at, honked at, and talked to in every type of way. I absolutely hate it. I hate more that people don’t think it’s a problem, and by people I mean men and women. It’s sick.
I have had over 5 instances of people on my streeet asking me for drugs, saying “hey gorgeous” “smile baby” or “God bless dat ass” as well as someone attempting to pimp me out while I was waiting for my lunch order to be ready at a local hallal deli a block from my apartment. I am angry. This needs to stop. It is not okay to start a conversation with a woman you do not know with unwanted, unwelcome sexual intent. No you weren’t just innocently complimenting me or attempting to start a conversation. You know better.
The same night, I was followed down the street on the way to the metro by men calling after me. One of the men followed me and proceeded to try and “buy” me as if I were a prostitute. He said he had a beautiful room, comfortable bed, until another person grabbed me and said “no” (which I am still confused about). But after I tore away (as I am used to being grabbed), the fruit stand guy grabbed the guy who had been following me and stopped him. I will never forget him: someone finally helped.
Later that night, I went out clubbing and took a taxi home with friends because I was drunk. The taxi driver told me to stay in to pay, which my friend had already paid, and my drunk friends left, which is when he took advantage of my state. Sadly, this isn’t near the first time. I am tired of being raped, sexually assaulted, groped, stalked, etc. It needs to end, and people need to step up. Unfortunately, women often can’t speak out for fear of more violence. This is a moment where men can stop up and help women who are continually being victimized.
For the past 3 months, one man (in his 30’s, wears glasses, pretty non-descript) has verbally assaulted me on 3 separate occasions. Always in the same area and always around the same time (right when I leave my apartment for work).
This morning, the first thing I heard when I left the house was this man yelling “Go the fuck home” as I walked out of my apartment. I decided to confront him and said “Excuse me, what is your problem?” And he said, “You. You yuppie millennial scum are ruining this neighborhood.”
I was astounded because this was someone who was judging me solely because I live in Greenpoint. This person does not know that I am actually a NYC-native, born and raised. It is such an uncomfortable situation for me that I change my morning routine to avoid this person.
I was walking down the street when I heard some guys yelling from a truck. I was used to that, so I didn’t turn around. Then, I felt something hit my butt — they’d thrown a little pack of ice at it. They cheered when they hit their target. For some reason, this made me feel really humiliated and foolish.