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There is a major intersection between my apartment and the nearest grocery store. Almost every time I walk there, at least one man harasses me. Usually it’s some guy telling me to smile or calling me “babe” or “sexy.” No amount of rolling my eyes or talking on the phone deters them. But every now and then a guy will try to get me into his car. This terrifies me, especially as I’m 5’2″ and 115lb – pepper spray and self defense could only get me so far against a determined, beefy man and his car.
I was on light rail with my bike, and a tall 30-something drunk (reeking of booze) guy came up to me: “you is so motha fuckin cute. yo eyes go. they goooooo” I said thanks and looked away. I was wearing headphones, I hoped he would get the memo. He then proceeded to poke my stomach “oh I thought you was fat you just wearin a big shirt” I told him not to touch me and continued looking the other way, (with an incredibly annoyed face on) He then grabs a lock of my hair and tells me I look like a porn star. I backed up and was caught between my bike, someone else’s bike, and the stairs to the car door. He was at least a foot and a half taller than me. He continued to stare at me and I told him to please leave me alone. He started rambling slurs and curse words and moved up the train. I noticed him heckling some girls that had just got on after the high school. The train car was full of witnesses, older, bigger people who could have said something to him when he touched me and grabbed my hair but no one did.
VA-bound yellow line at about 1:15am Sunday: a slightly tall male of average build in his mid-30s followed my fiance and me onto the metro. He stared at me on his way onto the car, sat down across from us, and continued to stare for about 15 min. Then, he got up, while staring, and sat closer to us, just across the aisle. He turned toward us and continued to stare until we ran off the metro to switch cars.
Cal Anderson park. Capitol Hill, Seattle. 7pm June 2013.
So, as I’m walking to the bus stop just about a block away I take a detour through the park. 7 guys standing together start whistling. As I keep walking & look straight ahead, I then hear “hey you girl.” Then “I like your top.” I ended up turning around, flipping them off & yelling “stop!”
I’m not sure if that was the best way to go about it, but in the moment of being so disgusted & pissed it was the first thing I could think of.
Was going for a walk Tuesday June 4th, 2013. Guy got my attention from a white SUV. I assumed he wanted directions so I stayed about 7 feet from the car and asked him if he needed anything. He asked me if I wanted a ride. I said, no, I was just going up the street. He continued to follow me, asking me 4-5 more times if I wanted to ride, saying I was “too pretty to be walking” and I should get in the car. Finally I got pissed off (and I was fearing for me safety) so as three big guys crossed the road, I walked with them to the safety of a Subway and called for a ride. He was still sitting outside in his SUV when my ride arrived about ten minutes later.
It’s incredibly sad that I can’t walk in my own darn neighborhood without being harassed. Wish I had gotten his license plate number but I was too scared/pissed off.
The three guys asked if I needed one of them to stay while I waited for my ride and apologized that I had to deal with that.
Late on a weeknight in December, I was walking through the mall food court on my way back to the bus stop after buying Christmas presents. As I walked by the Sbarro (an Italian-themed fast food place), its solitary employee, a man in his thirties, yelled “that shirt looks real nice on you, but it’d look better off.” I didn’t respond and kept walking, but as I got farther away I turned to look back, and accidentally made eye contact with him. He then yelled, “that’s right, bitch, you look at me when I talk to you,” came out from behind the restaurant’s counter and began following me, yelling obscenities the whole way, from “I’d lick you from your toes to your nose,” to “just bend over the escalator and let me take you.” I didn’t want to run, so I walked fast, with him about ten steps behind me the whole way, terrified that he was going to hurt me. There was almost nobody in the mall at that time, and I didn’t see anyone around to help, so I began heading for the H&M, which I knew was still open and would have employees on duty. His comments got more angry over time, with things like “you stuck-up bitch” or “well, now i’m just going to have to hate fuck you, you know that?” Eventually, a female security guard appeared who yelled at him and told him to “go back where he came from,” telling him if she caught him doing “this” one more time she’d report him to his manager. Horrified, I asked her how often she had caught him harassing women, and she calmly responded, “he’s just a creep,” and told me to just go home.
Not a great start to the day. At 9am I’m standing waiting for the crosswalk at a busy intersection in my town and this kid (maybe 18 or 19) is leaning up against a wall and he starts saying “You’re sexy…What are you up to…We should hang out sometime”. Kind of repeating this over and over. The area was filled with people all going about their business. So I called him out- loudly – and told him to leave me alone. It made a scene and got everyone’s attention.
I know sometimes it’s dangerous to try to stand up for yourself, when you’re one on one with a harasser. But when someone’s victimizing you like that they want to feel tougher and more in control than you. But, when there’s a crowd of people on your side- you take back control!
My girlfriend and I were just walking through the front doors of our apartment building, when some red-faced guy just barked out: LESBIAN! I turned back to glare at him and he just sneered. He added: I guess I’m jealous! I hate that our orientation defines how people view us and that so many guys see lesbians through the same scope; mere sex objects.
Stopped into a pub for a nightcap and some food after attending a fun lecture elsewhere. I used to feel safe at this neighborhood pub but things have changed. I sat at the far end of the bar where there are no gambling machines and drank my wine. Drunk guy comes over from mid bar to tell me “how pretty I am”. “Thank you. I have a boyfriend”. He leaves for a minute but comes back protesting to his friend “how pretty I am”. Clearly not caring that I don’t wish to talk to him at all! “please leave me alone” I say and I get up and go to the bathroom – hoping he will go sit down and leave me alone. After spending extra time in the bathroom I come back out. He’s still there! The random guy next to me tells him to leave me alone. I ask for my check and prepare to leave. He keeps trying to talk to me. After having asked three times and being frustrated I took my purse and hit him in the head with it. :). It worked! Everyone laughed at him which made him leave! I will use that move again. Wanted to share.
I was at Zaxby’s and my grandmother went in to get some food for my uncle, while I was waiting in the car with my grandfather, he catcalled three girl who were walking into the restaurant.