Athens GA, Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Denver, Des Moines, Duke University, NC, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Flagstaff, AZ, Houston, Iowa City, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Lubbock TX, Manhattan KS, Muncie IN, New Orleans, New York City, Oneonta, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Providence, Richmond VA, San Fernando Valley, San Francisco, Twin Cities, West Georgia (University)
There are too many, sadly, to report here but I’ll relay few of them: There was one good ol’ boy who was somehow in LA and when I walked by said “Mmmmmm, I’d LOVE to have you between my sheets!” One old man asked me “Would you be willing to model nude for me?” An elderly man was walking toward me on the sidewalk and when I smiled respectfully at the old fella, he leered back with “Mamacita!” (I do not dress provocatively.)
As has been mentioned before, I have often experienced first hand that a man can go from hitting on you to insulting you within seconds if you don’t play his game. It is frightening.
The stupidest comment was one time I had cut my hand badly on a broken glass while washing dishes. I was waiting outside on the sidewalk for a friend to come drive me to the hospital; the towel around my hand was growing increasingly heavier with blood. Two young guys walked by me and one of them said pseudo-suavely “Hello, beautiful”. When I looked away, painfully cradling my gushing hand, he lashed back with “Beauty is as beauty does” with a harsh tone despite the corny cliche. A woman can’t even be injured in peace!!!
Then there’s the bus driver who wouldn’t let me out of the bus until I gave him a kiss. It was bad enough but thank Heaven, not as bad as that could’ve been.
In my 20’s and 30’s I was regularly subjected to verbal harassment on the street, inside shopping malls, and basically in public places. Eventually I carried what appeared to be small business cards (which I bought at a NOW convention). I would turn and smile at the harasser and give him a card, which he inevitably assumed contained my phone number. Instead it said, “You have just insulted a woman. This card has been chemically treated. In 3 days, your prick will fall off.” It was my way of taking control.
watching the video reminds me of what I go through everyday of my life since I was 13 years old. I have had men grab my arm, one man crashed his car just to say vulgar things or try to talk to me. I have had notes left on my car that I was being followed, I even got attacked by a cable guy installing cable once who then decided to move into my complex to watch me everyday. I am 40 now and even as I write this story by 8:30 am today I already got 3 cat calls from the gas station to walking into my building at work. It’s literally everyday. I hate to see what the count is when I go out at lunch. I had a scary incident recently where I had a stalker and he actually came up to me and said “hey during sex do you like to be tied up and choked?” I mean really!!! everyday he was in my parking lot at work, security had to get involved. I lost a good girlfriend because of her husband’s advances. I try my best to ignore it and watching that video just makes me see I am not the only one that goes through this everyday of my life!
About a month ago I saw a substitute Street Sense guy really getting in this woman’s business near my Metro station. He followed her for a half a block, telling her she was pretty and just needed to smile.
It’s been eating me that not only did no one say something, I didn’t say anything either.
Today, I saw the same guy start the same routine with another woman. So I got his attention and said in a loud voice, “That woman doesn’t owe you a smile.”
I reported him to the company too. I don’t have a lot of hope that this guy will necessarily stop, but I hope that any of the dozen or so people who saw me get loud will remember for next time that street harassment stops with them.
There was a man harassing women on the street yesterday and getting a sick sense of amusement out of it. He would intentionally walk in the pathway of women and intimidate them with his size so they would have no choice but to move or walk another route. I observed him doing this and laughing every time he got the intended response he wanted.
He did this to me, and then proceeded to follow me into a fast food restaurant where I was ordering food. He came up to the cash register and made a false order of fries, played animal sounds from a phone app he had, startled us (me and the cashier) and walked off laughing.
As I was walking towards the subway I saw him continue to do this to other women. I also noticed that he was heading towards the subway where I was headed. I made a plan that if it turned out he was following me I’d yell and make a commotion about him stalking me and about contacting the police.
Have you ever been catcalled, whistled at, groped, hugged, approached by a strange man, had your ass slapped or just had unwelcome comments. I have! From the time I hit puberty and ongoing. This is a common occurrence for me and I believe it has shaped the person I have become. I’ve received comments like more ounce for your bounce baby, nice body shame about the face, and does that skirt get shorter in the summer to mention a few! It has made me cautious and depressed. I hate walking down the street because I’m afraid of what comments might come out of people’s mouths. I’ve been stalked, followed, interrupted, and I hate it. I’m an overly tall woman so I often get looked at or gawked at and on more than one occasion I have even been asked to take pictures with. A few years back I worked for a Children and Youth centre and had to walk through a very unsafe area of Toronto. I again received a number of cat calls and whistles, and I don’t know what happened but I snapped. I turned around to the man who was cat calling me and I said that is not appropriate. I told him that I didn’t appreciate his verbal attack and could he refrain from doing it again. I think he was quite shocked by my response and he actually apologized. These types of activities are very damming especially for young girls. They encourage a type of inappropriate behaviour and I wish it would stop. It makes women like me, who generally are strong and professional feel demeaned and worth less than they are!
My 20 something friend was working in Cambridge Ma. She wanted to take a power walk at lunch. She wore an oversized hoodie as to not attract attention. She had to stop walking as she go so many verbal sexual comments that she did not feel safe.
At 58 years old, I experienced such issues in the 70’s and believe me I dressed conservative. This made me so sad that things never change.
I was walking with my friends through Digbeth, in Birmingham. We were visiting a friend and she was showing us this really cool graffiti art. There was 4 of us. So, we were starting to leave the area towards the street when we noticed a man who was just staring at us.
We could tell that he was probably drunk – even though it was around 3pm – because, he was walking really slowly and in rough short movements. He started to walk faster and faster towards us until he was directly in front of us. We had no where to go as he had cornered us (we had linked arms). Then he walked straight up to us, nose to nose to my friend as if he was trying to intimidate her. Then she pushed him away with her hand, so he left us walking away slowly, but still staring. We quickly left the area and did not have another encounter, but we could still see him back there from afar, just waiting.
That is the closest contact I have had with someone before on the street and it was easily the most frightening thing, because we had no idea what he was intending to do or what we was going to do.
Was told to “smile pretty girl” while walking down the street.
Happy Friday Hollaback-ers!
This is a general reminder that we need to spread the word as much as possible on the survey! Thank you for all the hard work you have done so far.
It’s been another busy week at Hollaback!’s far and wide:
Students in the broadcast journalism program at Nova Scotia Community College have a weekly news show on a local channel. They included a story about Hollaback! Halifax and the viral video.
Gabriela Duhart Herrera of Hollaback! Mexico DF held a workshop on ways to end at event led by the National Youth Institute in Mexico City and Espolea, one of their partner organizations.
— Cecilia Garcia Ruiz (@Cecigarciaruiz) November 5, 2014
Nancy Gomez Site Leader for Hollaback! Appalachian Ohio and Phd Candidate at Ohio University College of Communications, represented Hollaback! this afternoon on a panel discussion for the College of Communications on Violence Against Women alongside representatives of SlutWalk and the student group F#@KRAPECULTURE.
Great job this week team!
HOLLA and out!
– The Hollaback! Staff