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EW! I was on the F train sitting with my boyfriend and reading a book,
and a guy in a cargo jacket was standing across from me with his arms
crossed. When we arrived at our stop, I put my book away and saw the
man holding a small camera aimed at me with his arms still crossed,
and as I got closer to him to leave the train, I saw the lens retract
into the body of the camera, and he tucked it away in one of his cargo
pockets. I felt victimized, violated, and STUPID. But thankfully I was
wearing a skort with tights. I wish I’d wrestled the camera out of his
hand or said something to him but I felt so scared and didn’t want to
make a scene. I should have taken a picture but I froze.
Submitted by Jessica
I was visiting my youngest sister in Orlando (at the time, she was 19 and I was 23) and we went to a sports bar to watch a basketball game. Side note: I always knew she got loads of unwanted attention because she’s extremely busty, but I never witnessed it to the extent of that night.
Anyway, the two of us were sitting in a booth, watching the game and minding our own business. She grew uncomfortable because a group of rowdy guys had taken up spots at the bar, which was behind me so I couldn’t see, and they were leering at her. After a few minutes, one of the asshats has the nerve to approach our table, and what transpired next absolutely floored me: he giggled and asked my sister, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to be forward, but how big are your boobs? If I’m right my friend will buy my drinks for me.” My sister and I just sat there dumbfounded, so he kindly repeated his question as though she hadn’t heard him.
I was appalled. I said, “are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck are you? Is this how you try to approach girls? Do you even know how old she is, you asshole!” He got very nervous and started stammering, “I’m sorry, I, I, didn’t mean to be rude, b-b-but I wanted to know.” I said, “that’s none of your damn business. She’s 19 years old, you fucking loser, and she’s my little sister! Do you have a girlfriend? No, well I’m not surprised because you’re a piece of shit.”
The jerk had the nerve to continue defending himself as my sister sat there, red-faced. I said, “you don’t go round to random girls and asking about their boob size. Learn some fucking manners!” He then skulked back to his table, muttering, as his friends laughed like hyenas. To top things off, he sent a round of beers over to our table, as an “apology,” which we left, untouched.
The saddest part of all of this is that my sister said such incidents were (and continue to be, to this day) a regular occurrence for her, and usually her friends just laughed it off instead of coming to her defense. Do NOT laugh this behavior off! It is appalling. Ladies, we must stick up for ourselves! This kind of attention is NOT A COMPLIMENT!
Submitted by Lauren
And so we advertise to sustain the revolution:
There’s something about dating girls that makes everyone walking down the street want to tell you exactly how they feel about your relationship. If you’re hot, they comment. If they think one of you is hot and one is not, they comment. If they think your lifestyle is fucking disgusting and you should rot in hell, they comment.
In this particular example a girl I was dating and I were getting some late night food from a Mexican cart on 14th street. We were holding hands and looking a little drunkenly doe-eyed when all of a sudden my ladyfriend bolts towards these two gentlemen saying “What did you say? Are you talking to me?” She is a take-no-shit kind of girl and scared the living shit out of them. Their tails quickly went under their legs and they shut their traps.
I never actually heard what they said (it was in Spanish, her first language and one that I don’t speak) and honestly didn’t care too. This kind of harassment happens so often in the lesbian community the exact words never matter. It’s the idea that you are constantly being watched with eyes of lust and hatred (and sometimes fasicination by the tourists) that is what hurts. It is also what makes girls like my ladyfriend on-call bad ass superheroes.
Submitted by Emily
On Monday afternoon, I was getting off the train at the Clark St station in Brooklyn (2/3) when I was walking up the stairs from a subway platform, a man lifted my dress and when I jumped up quick, he tried to hold on to my ankle. I screamed and he ran down the stairs and got on the train. I called the police and was told that there wasn’t much that they could do…
Scared the hell out of me.
Submitted by Suzy
Caught in the act of LAME.
I am only 17 years old and I have not experienced that much cat calling or harassment. I have gotten very few, but they were only things like, “hey beautiful”. But today while waiting on the uptown 28th street subway platform for the 1 train, a man walks onto the platform, he had to be anywhere between his 30′s or 40′s. He’s rolling some boxes and other cargo in through the emergency gate. I am sitting down on one of the seats right next to the gate, I had just missed the last subway by a second so I knew I had a wait till the next one came. I have this weird feeling coming over me. I had realized that the man with the boxes was just leaning against the emergency gate, and he had been for a while. He was right by me and it came off as a little awkward, because I had that “I’m being watched feeling” coming on. I look over and he’s looking right at me. When I looked at him, he stuck his tongue out ALL THE WAY in a licking motion right at me, all while grinning this evil look. He then proceeded to say, “lookin‘ good, lookin‘ good!”.
I knew about Hollaback NYC, and I did have my phone on me. I wanted to take a picture so badly, but my hands seemed frozen and the hairs on my neck were standing up, and my stomach felt like it was going to fall out. I know it may not sound so bad to some of you, but I have never received something to this extent before. I couldn’t bring myself to grab my camera phone and bust his dumb ass, I was in this state of after shock. He walked away right after and proceeded to chat some other women up further down the platform, while I was left in the chair feeling helpless.
I made sure we got into separate cars FAR away from each other when the subway finally came (after that it felt like an eternity). When my stop came, you can bet I ran out of the subway so fast. I didn’t know if we got out at the same stops, but I wasn’t about to find out.
Submitted by Susanna
I would much rather walk the few blocks I need to but the only thing that stops me is that I know I will be harassed. So I take the bus, because what’s going to happen there, I can ALWAYS tell the bus driver or stand near him. Unless of course, he’s the one doing the harassing. I regret not writing about the 2 bus drivers in Manhattan who I had issues with. Here I caught him doing it to someone else.
On the M11, its pretty much a quite ride. A girl was crossing at a stop sign and all of a sudden the bus driver starts honking at her, and saying “mm mm mm damn”. The girl was startled naturally by the honking horn, had her hand over her heart and did what I usually don’t have the guts to do – she glared at him, he turned and moved his head up and down dramatically with some neck movement.
Submitted by Lisa