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Dear Middle Aged Man wearing a hat on the TTC:
I was on my way to a formal event at my law school. I thought I was looking nice and I was excited for my night, but as soon as I got on the subway I felt uncomfortable. People were staring. I guess that’s to be expected, though: it’s not every day that you see a woman in a cocktail dress and stilettos on a train full of commuters, in daylight.
As we get closer to Downsview, I move towards the doors and stand holding onto one of the poles with one hand for balance. The subway was no longer packed. You held onto that same pole. You put your hand on my hand. I thought it was an accident, so I politely moved my hand away. You put your hand on my hand again. I moved my hand again. The train lurched, I didn’t want to fall. You put your hand on my hand again. I moved my hand and kept looking straight ahead. We arrived at the station, the doors open and I made a quick exit. I walked as fast as my formal wear would allow. I didn’t look back, I think you followed for a little while.
At the end of my commute I washed my hands twice.
Two bastard tourists was in front of a hotel when i passed by at night. They started talking to me “mmm mama, mamacita, come on!”
I’m so exhausted to just listen to sexism bullsh*t and do nothing, that I want to scream and beat them with all my strength. I want to rip off all sexist testicles.
There’s an MTA worker who stands under the Manhattan Bridge, in the MTA work/storage facility, in the mornings. He blows an air horn to get women’s attention, every time we walk by.
He doesn’t just stare. He wants you to know he is watching you walk by, every morning. Good thing this area seems gated and closed at night.
Whenever I walk past these builders working on a new hotel, they whistle and shout to me to try and get my attention. Shouldn’t they be more focused on working and be looking at what they are doing high up on scaffolding than looking at me and larking about? Idiots. Repeat offenders, no wonder the hotel is taking years and years to get finished if this is all they do all day!
I had a strange experience just now…
I found the riot grrl harassment pamphlets to be really awesome, so I posted all of them on my Facebook account, with the “Excuse me, hi, I just wanted to let you know…” one as my profile picture.
I posted these flyers as an act of solidarity with others who have experienced verbal sexual abuse. I think it’s pretty obvious that they are not directed at all men, just those who choose to be sexist assholes.
I received this Facebook Message:
“I had to make this fake account just to let you know how incredibly offensive your profile pictures are. My respect for you as a dancer and as a person have been severely retarded.
I don’t know whether you got hurt by some asshole guy or something else, but there’s no need to be offensive to guys who do not behave that way.
Get off your high and might fucking horse.
Oh sorry forgot to mention this, don’t bother replying as I’ve obviously blocked you.”
At first I was shocked, then angry, then thought maybe he was right that it was offensive for me to post this. But…people use Facebook for lots of purposes- including championing various causes dealing with sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. The real kicker is that he made an anonymous account. What a jerk.
I am only 14, but yesterday I experienced two harassers in the same day. Both were when a car drove past with men inside. The first car just wolf whistled at me but the second time the men shouted at me and my friend ‘Gorgeous arses on you two’. I feel this is unacceptable for a person of my age. It made my friend feel very self-conscious walking down the street for the rest of that day.
There is this really creepy guy who hangs around the magazine stands at Barnes and Noble. He stares at teenage girls and doesn’t even hide it. He just stares and smiles in the most creepy way. he is like in his late 40s or 50s. He always wears the same shirt(worker blue shirt and wears glasses that hang on his nose.
There is a man, Collin, who has followed me in his car, extremely close behind me while I’ve been biking (then got out of his car and told me what I was doing was illegal. WRONG! I have the right of way to bike in the street, just as a car). He comments on my university student columns all the time, saying awful shit and threatening things. He has done the same on Facebook (I have had to block him). I called the domestic violence shelter in town about him and they put it in their records. Luckily, he has moved to another state, but not for others. He works for an Asian woman’s agency now, too. He is threatened by feminists and he has a lot of hate toward women who speak their mind. He says he liberates Asian women (I’d like to tell him – they don’t need your liberation).
I was biking home from downtown and two men in a pick-up truck yelled, “nice ass!” and were laughing. I caught up with them at the traffic light and screamed, “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I’M SO SICK OF THIS!” They would not look at me. I continued to pedal when the traffic light turned green and flipped them off, they refused to take one look at me.
Seriously, I have had so much shit yelled (swear words, sexist shit, sexual things) at me on my bicycle. Even when biking with my 9.5 year old daughter.
Well my story’s a bit different from most, you see I’m intersexed basically i have a tomboyish face and well some biological female parts and for the last few years on and off I’ve had rednecks in the area who would scream at me “FAGGOT.” Now i also have a physical handicap walking is hard for me at times and the harassment does get bad from time to time, and this also happened last summer when I’d gone to Myrtle Beach, SC. When I was down there heading up the street at the beach i got catcalled by a man, “Hey, FAG nice purse.” I screamed back “at least I’m NOT a doucheBAG” at him. I’m getting better about being comfortable in my own skin, though sometimes it just HURTS