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I was walking with two of my friends down SoHo and we were into deep conversation about something, definitely not paying attention to our surroundings and the people in the street with us. Suddenly, we notice a man walking in our direction, rudely about to walk through us. As he was getting closer, we realized that he was determined to not change his direction and walk around us so naturally we let him walk in between us. Suddenly he creepily mumbles to us “Eat each others’ pussies…” We all looked at each other like “What did this guy just say?” We were all in shock that this just came out of his mouth. We all look back at him and he was, surely enough, looking back at us, winking. It was a very disturbing experience. And it scares me that this guy thought it was totally okay to say this to us. I don’t know what he expected to get out of saying that, but I can only imagine all of the other disturbing things he’s said to other girls.
I was walking with my friends and an old man pulls on my arm, trying to talk to me. I said immediately after, in an angered tone, “Please don’t touch me.” He then started following me and my friends for two blocks in which we preceded to walk faster. I was shocked to think that this man would have the audacity to assault me with the police less than 20 feet away, I was even more shocked that the cops did nothing about it.
I was on my way home from picking up Chinese food on 134th street. I tried to cut the corner because everyday men young and old stand outside of Popeyes talking to and eyeing every girl who passes by. I passed by a silver Escalade waiting at the traffic light and the man in the passenger side said “psst, can I talk to you.” I rushed by, hearing his words, but ignoring them. Everyday I find myself listening to music so I can avoid the catcalls from men old enough to be my father.
About a month ago, I was on my way home returning from my school’s volleyball practice. I had just gotten off of the bus, and I was walking the first of two blocks to my house. On my way, I noticed a man had gotten on at the same bus stop at me, and gotten off at the same one, too. I already felt nervous. I was walking a little faster than I normally would have, trying to make it home.
He had sped up a little bit, too. When I got to the corner of the block that my house is on, I heard him give me a catcall. I was immediately freaked out. He kept calling, and started into a jog to catch up to me, as I was half a block ahead of him. I sprinted to the fire-station next to my house. I waited in the office there with the firemen who had been next door my entire life. When he saw me run there, he turned around, and went around the corner. Just to be safe, I sprinted next door, buzzed myself in, and made sure I didn’t go anywhere alone for the next week.
2 years ago, when I was 12 years old, I was walking to meet my friend. It was summer, and so I put on a pair of tight jean short-shorts. I felt sexy and beautiful and like I could conquer the world. I felt so good.
I was walking past a florist’s shop when an old man outside gave me a catcall. I spun around, staring at him. I couldn’t believe what he had just done. It was the first acknowledgement of being “sexy” or “hot” before. And it was from an old man who was wearing a wedding ring.
I didn’t know what else to do but continue walking. I felt myself to start to tear up and feel brought down. I couldn’t help but feel violated. Ashamed. I knew my shorts were short, but were they really that short? I kept thinking that it was my fault. That I was asking for it, that I was the reason I was being catcalled. And that if I wanted to dress like how I was dressing, I couldn’t dress like that.
When I got to the place I was meeting my friend, I changed in the bathroom into something more conservative. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to feel that way again.
Now, I realize that my shorts or my legs or my ass shouldn’t mean that someone should look at me, violate me, and make me feel ashamed.
A man came up to me while I was standing on the subway, put his hand on my hip and said to me “your European aren’t you ? I can tell because in Europe the women are taught to be so sensual in nature.”
As a woman in Pakistan traveling on public transport is like running the gauntlet, except there is no where to run, particularly in Islamabad. For schoolgirls and working females the daily commute is plagued by vulgar drivers with the self-control of a rabble of rabid mutts.
The severity of this issue manifests itself in the inability for the female to remove herself from the situation. She is trapped in silence until she reaches her destination, acutely aware that she neither wants to make a scene nor raise attention to incidents like these.
Islamabad resident Faiza Bibi told Pakistan Today that the vast majority of drivers harass their female passengers verbally and physically by making lewd comments and touching them whilst changing gear as they sat they sat next to them in the front seats. She continued:
“Women have no other option since they have to sit on the front seats, next to the driver, because they are the only seats meant for women.”
Khadija Ali of the Alliance Against Sexual Harassment told Pakistan Today that the country’s Sexual Harassment legislation applies mostly to situations occurring in the work place and suggested that women dealing with such incidences should complain to the police. However, one commuter, Attiya Nawaz complained to a traffic police officer that some bus drivers were pulling the curtain behind the front seats so that passengers in the back seats could not see them harassing the women.
According to a survey conducted by the Social Research and Development Organization, 92 percent of commuting women and girls would prefer female-only buses, a facility that does not exist. Despite government past plans to provide a women only public transport system, financial constraints have prevented the plans moving forward.
This report comes a day after a ZEENEWS.com story covering Foreign Minister Hina Rabbani Khar’s address to a reception hosted by Commissioner Adam Thompson, where Khar told guests that women in Pakistan were “more empowered than those in other developing countries.” How can this be if they live in fear of travelling to school and work everyday? 92 percent is a staggering number that feel so frightened that they would rather have female only transport
So, we at Hollaback! want to encourage the Pakistan ladies to do exactly that! Do not accept this! We need a Hollaback! site in Pakistan to raise public awareness of street harassment and educate people about what behavior is acceptable on the streets and on public transport. I have messaged Foreign Minister Hina Rabbani Khar about the situation and will keep you all posted on her comments. In the mean time if you know anyone with contacts in Islamabad that would like to launch a Hollaback! site then encourage them to do so! We all need to work together to Hollaback! at harassers on the streets of Pakistan and on public transport.
Here’s a big thank you to Hollaback! Baltimore for sharing with us this awesome questionnaire to help research the correlation between women in leadership positions and their own experiences of domestic violence. The survey has been comprised by Hollaback! affiliate, grad student and Feminist Eye View blogger, Linda Kokenge. Linda worked with Carol Olsen of the Rape Crisis Center in Virginia to try and gather some empirical evidence.
Check out her abstract here and then answer the questions!
“Women who take on leadership roles in the nonprofit or service sector represent a unique group within society. These women tend to work well in a myriad of high stress/low resource situations and have a solid understanding of the social problems that impact the surrounding community. Often times these attitudes and behaviors are not only found in her work life, but in her interpersonal relationships and perception of self. This can become problematic for women in these leadership positions who experience domestic violence in her personal life.
According to the National Collation Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence “is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background.” As this is widely understood as true, women who work in nonprofit leadership roles are not immune to domestic violence. Though these women represent a unique group that has its own set of obstacles to overcome when coping with domestic violence, there is very little academic or public attention directed to the issue. I became aware of it only after reflecting on the personal relationships that I maintained while serving as an AmeriCorps VISTA member in Baltimore City. Even after recognizing that a relationship was violent, I was reluctant to leave because it felt like I was giving up; I knew of women that experienced levels of abuse that were far more dangerous than my own and believed that I could handle the situation. The pressures placed on women to maintain a successful intimate relationship while excelling professionally combined with such social factors as stigma and fear of alienation contributed directly to the way that I coped with the violence. I believe that this also holds true in similar experiences of domestic violence.”
This research project looks at the unique obstacles that women in leadership positions have to overcome when coping with domestic violence. Linda Kokenge worked with a woman named Carol Olson, an executive director of a rape crisis center in Virginia, to create a survey in order to gather some empirical evidence. Take part and fill out the survey here!
Meet Becca Lee, the collector of words fighting street harassment in Des Moines, IA.
Why do you HOLLA? Because I can. It’s my right.
What’s your signature Hollaback? Stop harassing women!
What’s your craft? Ripping books to shreds–not literally, but somewhat. I’m finishing a master’s degree in literature.
HOLLAfact about your city: Des Moines is the 3rd largest insurance capital of the world (after London and Hartford, CT).
What was your first experience with street harassment? I was in college. It started with honks and whistles as I walked to class, which bothered me, but not enough to do anything about it. Then a harasser started repeatedly making sexual comments about me right outside of my apartment building. I felt unsafe to even walk to my car, which was right next to my building, and I just couldn’t keep quiet anymore. That’s when I found Hollaback!
Define your style: Lots of caffeine and loud shoes.
Say you’re Queen for the day. What would you do to end street harassment? I would replace the “Pledge of Allegiance” with the words “I will respect other people. I will keep my hands to myself. I will take “no” for an answer. I will be a decent human being.”
What do you collect? Words. Books, quotes, lyrics, lines of poetry, movie lines, you name it.
If you could leave the world one piece of advice, what would it be? If you’re not pissed off, you’re not paying attention.
My superheroine power is… corrupting young adults with my radical queer feminist ideals. Because civil rights are anti-American, ya know…
What inspires you? People who respect others!
In the year 2020, street harassment…will still be offensive. It is not, never has been, and never will be OK.