Nonverbal Harassment

Disgusted’s Story: “Only one of many”

As a very young-looking 18-year-old, I was sitting with my mother in our seats on a flight while the plane was boarding. I had the aisle seat, and was reading. I heard my mother make a noise, and looked up to realize she was staring down a man who must have been in his thirties. The man had his arm leaned against the overhead bin, cornering my mother and I in our row, and was staring directly down my shirt. When we both stared at him in shock, he just grinned and made kissing noises before moving farther down the plane.

I forgot about this incident because it didn’t seem important, but I realize now that men don’t have these kind of experiences that they suppress, and this is only one of many.

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The Movement

Survey for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

Across the nation, many cuts are being made to the services provided for women who have been in domestic violence situations.

This study looks at the willingness of domestic violence survivors to seek help both from their family and from the government funded resources provided in their community (including shelters, support groups, and online help).

The study consists of statements to which respondents agree or disagree. At the end, you may provide more detailed responses if you wish, but it is not required.

There questionnaire won’t take more than 10 minutes to complete.

It does not deal with the personal experiences of domestic violence but a list of possible triggers.

The questionnaire can be found here.

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The Movement

Tweet Tomorrow If You Think Terranova’s An Ass

Our efforts to oust ‘journalist’ Juan Terranova for publishing his wish to rape an anti-street harassment activist are still going strong. Rape threats are not funny, clever, or thought-provoking. Join us tomorrow (Saturday, April 2) to keep the momentum going.

Terranova will be participating in a one-day online reality show TOMORROW with six other Hispanic ‘literary’ figures.

His broadcast will be on this page:
http://www.los7vampiros.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=32&Itemid=75.

Users will be able to make comments during the live broadcast (Terranova will be on from 2:45 – 4:30 PM or 1:45-3:30 EST) through the website as well as Facebook and Twitter. We want to send a message to Terranova that says that we will not tolerate rape threats!

You can tweet him at @juanterranova or comment directly on the website.

If you don’t speak Spanish, you can use this message, “Las insinuaciones de violencia y violación no son graciosas, astutas ni invitan a la reflexión. Disculpas a la representante de Hollaback.” which translates to: “Threats of violence and rape are not funny, clever or thought-provoking. Apologize to the representative of Hollaback.”

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campaign, demonstration, The Movement

Take Part in Sexual Assualt Activism Month!

This April marks the tenth anniversary of SAAM (Sexual Assault Awareness Month), and the awesome activists at SAFER (Students Active For Ending Rape) are calling for a push from awareness to activism, making this years’ SAAM stand for Sexual Assault ACTIVISM Month.   Students, recent alumni, parents, and teachers are encouraged to participate by “pledging” a direct action against sexual assault this month, whether by fundraising, submitting their definition of accountability to the SAFER website, or checking up on their schools’ sexual assault policy and pushing for reform where necessary.

Check out this video for some student submissions of what accountability looks like to them:


 

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The Movement

Got something to say about street harassment? We want to spread your ideas, slogans and artwork!

Hollaback is hard at work finding creative and effective ways to shut down street harassment, and we have a new project under way – but we need your help! We want to launch a line of t-shirts, stickers, posters and pins so you can put your fed-up feelings on display. Wouldn’t it be snazzy to have a shirt that told off harassers for you? Wouldn’t it be neat to be strolling down the street and see another Hollaback supporter sporting a pin and know they’ve got your back? What would you print on that shirt? What would the pin look like?

We have limited resources and have to start off with a small batch of shirts and products, so we want the snappiest, smartest, prettiest designs out there – in other words, we want YOUR designs! This is your chance to spread your message via our products – and it’s a great way of supporting Hollaback by donating your creativity and design skills. Please submit your original artwork, slogans, or design ideas today!

Here are the details:

* Send submissions to sally@ihollaback.org. Please attach files in jpg or psd format. We will be considering submissions for only the next two weeks, so rev up your creativity and get to work!
* Please do not send any images, quotes or material that is not your own work without attributing its source so we can obtain use permission.
* Be judicious in using swear words – we want to reach as broad of an audience as possible, so we avoid profanity where possible.
* Any artwork or material submitted will not receive compensation and may be used by Hollaback! to support its nonprofit, tax-exempt work of ending street harassment.
* If you have a great idea for a design but don’t have the graphic design skills to lay it out, we’d love to hear your ideas as well! Send ‘em along!

The deadline is: APRIL 14th, 5PM EST.

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demonstration, groping

Tata’s story: Turning the tables in Brazil!

One day I came back home from work and went to the drugstore to get myself something for my contact lenses since they kinda blurry that day. I was wearing the same clothes I went to work: black skirt (down to my knees) and a black tank top. Everywhere men were shouting sexual words. I’ve heard that kinda stuff since I can remember, so I just ignored them and even put my suit on so they’d leave me alone. I crossed the street and kept walking, but one of them must have followed. I don’t know because I never look straight at them so I won’t encourage them to keep talking to me like that. The guy was very quite, I didn’t hear anything. At some point when he noticed there was another path to run at the left, he grabbed my left butt cheek and ran but stopped with his back at me. He wanted to see my reaction. It was part of it. I couldn’t see his face but he stopped to hear me. I just said: Idiot! And kept walking. He wanted to feel powerful over me, but I didn’t give him that. Didn’t give him that power. It happened during daylight! And when I told my dad who is a lawyer, he was so mad and told me that our laws have changed and that is now considered rape here. No man can touch a woman without her permission. It’s very serious and if I had told the police he would be charged with rape.
Women everywhere, this is not normal! We have to step out and talk about this and tell the world how we feel. This is unacceptable. Nowadays I never wear nice clothes when I go out shopping or whatever, if I have to walk… It’s frustrating. Let’s turn the table! Let them know we are coming for them!

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demonstration, Verbal

Roshni’s story: Who are you calling a “slag?”

I was walking over a bridge with narrow pavements either side, on my way to work. I saw three young guys walking towards me, as we got closer he stopped abruptly in my way, and said ‘do you want to move out of the way, you slag’. I was infuriated, I stared him in the face but my heart was pounding so hard because I was so angry that someone could talk to a stranger like that. I actually remember that I said ‘no, I don’t’ (I now know that wasn’t the best thing to do but I was so angry). They looked at each other, smirking and walked around me, shouting abuse as they walked away. I turned around and replied with my own array of insults, but for the rest of the walk to work and back I was on edge and frankly, a bit scared.

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demonstration, Verbal

Ellen’s story: When the idiots drown the nice guys out

I was walking back to my house when I saw two builder types each old enough to be my father walking towards me sniggering, and my instant reaction was ‘they’re going to say something to me, I should cross the road’, but foolishly out of some kind of mad hope that the human race might not be full of wankers I stayed, and of course as they walked past one of them made kissing noises at me. Was so angry that I shouted ‘Dream on mate’ at them, cue much fake laughter from the two. The one silver lining is I then passed another man who I think overheard who gave me what might have been an encouraging smile. Unfortunately my sense of what was going on was so warped by my anger he could have been another pervert for all I know…Shame that I have to question even possible acts of kindness because of all the horrible idiots.

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demonstration, Verbal

Lauren’s story: The making of a braver woman!

I was on my way home from work yesterday – a sunny and pleasant afternoon – when I alighted from the Capitol Theatre Light Rail stop (in Sydney, Australia) near a busy intersection in the CBD at around 4.30pm.

The sunlight was quite bright and I’d forgotten my sunglasses, so I raised my hand to block the sun from my eyes and started to make my way towards the intersection.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a normal-looking man walking towards me (he was wearing a collared green shirt and black pants) and he locked his eyes on me and changed his walking pace and even side-shuffled a little so that he could force himself into my path.

I tried to move out of his way but her kept blocking me, then said quietly in my ear so no one else would hear: “sexy armpit.”

My face automatically scrunched up in disbelief, and my the time I processed what this perve had said and done, he was starting to power walk off. I turned around and yelled at the top of my lungs and called him a wanker in front of the small crowd that was waiting to cross the road at the same intersection I was standing at, but he didn’t look back and kept briskly walking away like nothing had happened.

Of course everyone looked at me like I was a psycho, because to them it would look like I’d yelled at him simply for walking into me, they wouldn’t have heard what he said.

It wasn’t that confronting or lewd, but I felt shaken up nonetheless and spent the next few hours going over it in my mind and what I wish I’d said/done.

It’s been a while since I’ve been street harassed, but it was a familiar feeling; like I’d had my dignity snatched away against my will and I felt like a piece of meat there to be judged and commented on by men.

I’d started reading Hollaback a couple of months before this incident occurred, and I thank this website for giving me the courage to turn around and yell at this perve to let him know it wasn’t ok – normally I would have just stayed quiet with shock and scampered away, but not anymore. My only regret is that I didn’t get a photo of the prick.

Thanks Hollaback for making me a braver woman!

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demonstration, Verbal

Boricua’s story: “Seems harmless,” but feel crappy. Really crappy.

I actually have two situations that seemed harmless, and perhaps I would be overreacting but I think it keeps me alert and on my toes.

The first incident happened Fall 2010. I usually go to BP, the gas station near my university, before I go home (two hours away). I gave the cashier my money to gas up. He had this really happy look on his face, like way-too-happy-to-be-working-at-a-gas-station look, but I shrugged it off, thinking he was probably one of those people that smiled all the time and were polite. For some reason when I went back to the pump, it wasn’t letting me gas up. I went back in as the cashier for some reason was coming out. I stopped him and he recognized me saying “Yes, sweetheart?” I was taken aback by this but ignored him and explained what happened. He asked me which pump it was and as I turned to point at it, I felt a hand on my shoulder, too weirded out (the man was at least twice my age). He told me to move forward and take a another pump. After I gassed up, I called my then boyfriend and explained what happened. It doesn’t scare me today because he doesn’t work there anymore but it is creepy and made me feel uncomfortable.

The second incident happened last weekend. My boyfriend and I were at the movie theater. After we saw our film, we went to the arcade like always, and I head straight to the Galaga machine. There was a group of teenage boys around the area where the game was but I didn’t pay them any attention. My boyfriend went off to refill our soda and I began to play. Not soon after he left, this kid (and I say kid because I’m nearly twenty and he looked and sounded like he was 13) came up next to the machine and poked his head out to watch the screen as I played. He was blocking my view so I said “Do you mind?” He looked at me and goes “I just wanted to watch. Am I allowed to watch?” He was very cocky and reminded me of guys I went to high school with that had that tone of voice to pick up girls. I ignored him and he went away, talking with his buddies about me.

It came to the challenging stage which if you’ve played, means no enemies shoot at you. I keep the joystick in the middle and just kept pressing the fire button. All of a sudden this kid come back and starts moving the joystick back and forth and messing me up. I grabbed his wrist and passed him away telling him to stop. I wondered why he was acting so rude. As I continued to play, his other friends would be on either side of me and behind me, making comments about me and my purple bunny hat (“Are you going to a sleepover later?) Lame insults but all I could think about is why me? Why are they targetting me when clearly I’m a lot older than them and I definitely wasn’t wearing anything to give me unwanted attention (aside from the hat, which is my favorite hat). All I could say to these kids were “Kids today”.

Luckily my boyfriend came back and I explained to him the situation, loudly so the kids could hear I was talking about them. They soon left.

It makes me angry that kids are acting like that at such an early age. Just because I’m a woman, minding my own business playing an arcade game makes me vulnerable and perfect target? It’s bullshit.

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