Assault, groping

Emily’s story: “…gonna drag your name so far through the mud that by the time it comes out it’s gonna reveal who you really are.”

When I was 17 I played on a traveling soccer team and in order to get to practice I would have had to drive between 25 and 30 miles of back country winding road to get there. So since the coach was a man who had worked with my dad for close to 30 years he made the suggestion that I could ride with him because I was not a very experienced driver, so that way my parents would know I was going to make it home safe. All during practice he kept asking me what kind of underwear I had on and he would tell us all how great our rear ends looked, but we just passed it off as it’s just him being him and laughed it off. Well when we left, it was just he and I in the car because the rest of the team were from that county, he starts up again with the comments and I just laughed it off like I always did. Then he pulled onto a side road that I had never seen before so I just sat there. And when I asked why we were here he said he wanted me to see the “coolness” of his van that he bought for the team to travel in. So while still in my seat i turned my head to look back and he said that the back row of seats fold out into a full size bed and he said that the shades are made in a way that we can see out but no one can see in. There are no words for how afraid I was in that moment, so I just stayed strapped in the front seat and begged with him for an hour to take me home. When he finally got back up in the drivers seat he asked me if he had upset me, I told him yes you have upset me more than you will ever know– to which then he replied “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to that wasn’t my intention” and I said yeah I know what your intentions were now drive me home. It was then that he leaned over and tried to hug me and asked for a kiss. I squirmed away from it and told him to drive me home right now and to be prepared because when my dad and big brother and my big brothers friends that all see me as their little sister too find out what you’ve done, they are gonna drag your name so far through the mud that by the time it comes out it’s gonna reveal who you really are.

I know this didn’t happen to me on the street but he is one of those men who will harass a woman if he sees the opportunity. And until now I haven’t had the strength to say anything to anyone except for my immediate family, and I think this is a much bigger monster than any of us realize or maybe even want to realize. I also had another so called friend grope me while we were trying to workout one day because I asked him to give me some tips and help me with my workout. He was probably in his 40s and was a mutual friend of mine and he had known me since high school and I was friends with both of his sons yada yada yada. When he did that I was immediately in shock and scared because he was a very physically strong man. So when we went to leave I left and never went back or returned his calls. About 2 weeks after that I see him in the Wal-Mart parking lot and he grabbed my arm so tight that I couldn’t break loose and he asked me what I had told our mutual friend. I told him that I told them the truth, they asked me how the workouts were going and I just broke down and started to feel trapped all over again, I felt like I was trapped in that god awful van again. I didn’t find out until about a year later that my friend, my best friend chewed him up one side and down the other and told him that if he ever touched me again in any way that he would have my best friend to deal with, and they are someone that you do not want to cross.

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26+

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Verbal

Ali’s story: It’s not too much to ask to be able to walk home safely

I was walking home from work on Friday and the traffic was backed up so there was a line of cars by the sidewalk. I heard voices and I looked over and three guys in a car were whistling and yelling at me. Calling me names and telling me they’d give me a ride home. It’s scary enough when you have one guy saying things to you but to have a car full of men yelling at me when I’m just trying to walk home is so frustrating and upsetting. People in the other cars nearby were looking to see who they were yelling at so it makes you feel completely on display and so embarrassed even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to be able to walk home without having a car full of guys yell at me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

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20+

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Verbal

Diane’s story: “Stop talking to me”

On November 5, 2012 at roughly 11:50AM in Washington, D.C., I experienced street harassment. I was on my way to my local US post office in downtown (Gallery Place) to return my absentee voting ballot. A man was staring at me and leeringly said, “Pretty girl,” as he passed. Given the fact that we could have been the same age (29 or early thirties), somehow it felt particularly demeaning, intrusive, and uncalled for. I said “Stop talking to me,” but probably did not say it loud or assertively enough for him to have heard since he was already on his way.

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12+

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Verbal

Michelle’s story: “I don’t even let my husband call me baby. Ugh.”

Today when a car pulled up next to me with the window down, the passenger said, “You need a new bike, baby.”

First of all, my bike IS new. Secondly, I don’t even let my husband call me baby. Ugh.

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14+

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Uncategorized

Cole’s story: Photographed on the bus

I was on the bus with my sister, mother, niece, and nephew on our way home when an elderly man holds up his phone at my sister and I, and I see the flash go off. At that moment, I look at him and tries to play it off like he’s just taking random photos and points his camera somewhere else. I start yelling at him and he tries acting cool and like I’m talking nonsense and then starts laughing. He moves to the back of the bus because I didn’t stop berating him. Just before I got off the bus I made sure to get my own picture of him.


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14+

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A Week in Our Shoes

Week in our shoes: TOTALLY BIASED EDITION

Dear Hollabackers,

In spite of the hurricane — which hit us here in NYC pretty hard — it’s been another great week for the movement.

First, a big thanks to Hollaback Croatia and Hollaback Istanbul for their vital contributions to our ever-growing database of street harassment research. We are still getting submissions from our site leaders so stay tuned for more.

We also co-authored a letter to the editor to the New York Times in partnership with our friends from SAFER — and it got published! The letter brings attention to sexual harassment on college campuses.

And you’ve got to watch this hilarious video on street harassment made by the TV show Totally Biased. It’s bleeping amazing:

Here’s what our sites around the world have been up to this week:

Hollaback Ottawa took part in a conference called In Love and in Danger which was targeted toward students and focused on issues of gender-based and relationship violence.

Hollaback Berlin gave an introductory workshop about street harassment at a local women’s center.

Hollaback Philadelphia‘s site leader Rochelle Keyhan is in the news! Philly.com featured her in one of their “Chillin’ Wit'” segments.

Hollaback Buenos Aires is organizing a self defense workshop at their local Slut Walk and will have a stand with advocacy materials.

Hollaback Melbourne gave a lecture at Melbourne Free University asking the giant question of “what if?” They explored what the world might look life if all women had freedom of movement. They were also published in author Melinda Tankard Reist’s blog.

Great work guys!

HOLLA and out,

Emily

 

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Uncategorized

HOLLA ON THE GO: Skate World

Skate World In Michigan-
Male about 15 years old, having sex in public when younger children were around.

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10+

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Nicola's Got Nerve

Nicola’s Got Nerve: Is Safety Really Coming for Egypt’s Women?

This post, by Nicola Briggs, is part of a series of posts that we call Nicola’s Got Nerve. You may remember Nicola from this incident caught on camera which was viewed by more than 1.5 million people and which sparked outrage from all corners of the globe, bringing street harassment to the forefront of women’s rights issues. We admire’s Nicola’s ability to turn a traumatic event into focused action through writing and activism, and we think you will too.

Egypt, a country in which street harassment of urban women is now so frequent as to become almost normal, seems to finally be making a commitment to stamping it out. Published in Ahram Online, the article which headlined plans for this new policy had a disturbing photo of three young men chasing after a woman crossing the street, one of them clearly grabbing her backside. The look of distress on her face is obvious, as she extends a hand behind her to try and remove his, which has already made intimate contact with her body. I personally shuddered when I saw this, as any woman who’s experienced this would do. The look of glee on their faces and their obvious youth relative to that of the victim might bring to mind the phrase, “boys will be boys,” giving them a free pass; in fact, until recently, the Arabic term muakssa was used to imply that this behavior was merely “playful.” Now however, understanding of the dangerous, sexually violative nature of it has changed, and the word tahharush, meaning “harassment” is now used. In recognition of just how prevalent this problem is for women in Egyptian society, Prime Minister Hisham Qandil, his Ministry of Interior, and the National Council for Women are in the process of drafting a new law which seeks harsher penalties for those who perpetuate the epidemic of sexual violence against women.

Street harassment has been on the rise according to women’s rights organizations there, especially in the wake of the revolution, which simultaneously reduced police presence and increased spontaneous civil unrest. To put the scope of this problem into perspective, as far back as 2008 the Egyptian Centre for Women’s Rights found that a whopping 83 percent of Egyptian women have been subjected to sexual harassment, and that a full 98 percent of foreign women have also experienced this. I’ve been to Egypt three times, the last time in 2008, and from these statistics can only surmise that it was sheer luck that I personally never encountered this treatment, but I did witness other women being the target of degrading remarks. To address what has become a social pandemic, this past July protesters against sexual violence filled Tahrir Square, where women have suffered repeated verbal harassment and assault as they have tried to join in demonstrations against widespread corruption. This action/reaction of women becoming more politically assertive and then being “punished” with sexual violation for coming into such a symbolic public space speaks volumes, not only degrading women in the moment, but sending the dangerous and intimidating message that women’s voices are not welcome in the political process. As a response, performers and artists in Cairo and other major Egyptian cities organized open mic sessions and exhibits throughout the summer, giving women a safe space in which to share their experiences and fight back against the silencing of their voices. Understandably, some of the victims have only felt comfortable speaking with their backs to the audiences which had come to hear their stories ~ underscoring the shame and stigma which still hangs on victims of sexual violence in Egypt and everywhere around the world.

Prime Minister Qandil has finally acknowledged the dangerousness of these acts to Egyptian society, saying that they are “dealing with sexual harassment as a disastrous phenomenon.” His government has taken a long time to come to this realization– far too long after a widely publicized incident in which several women were stripped naked by a street mob during celebrations for Eid-al-Fitr all the way back in 2006. At least now Mr. Qandil’s government recognizes that educating young men about harassment will be the key to changing the tacit acceptance of it, and has charged the Ministry of Education to distribute informative materials and create anti-harassment messages to be distributed in the media. While these recent efforts are laudable, Qandil and his peers are latecomers to publicizing this problem with social media, since photographs and videos posted to YouTube and Facebook have already been surfacing for years, after a slew of sexual harassment incidents during religious holidays like Eid. Other new methods being deployed against harassment will be surveillance cameras looking out onto streets and squares in Cairo, which should be an effective deterrent.

But there’s major caveat to becoming too hopeful about all these new measures: there are already three articles in Egyptian criminal law which would seem to offer stiff penalties for harassers, such as thirty days of jail time, a hefty fine for verbal harassment, three years of imprisonment for indecent exposure and stalking, and fifteen years in prison for sexual assault, which does include incidents of public groping. So while I want to remain positive in the face of these new steps the government is taking towards the protection of women in public spaces, I’d like to see more done in terms of enforcement of laws already on the books, and most importantly, rooting out of the social acceptance of this behavior. In the meantime, I applaud the brave Egyptian women and their male allies who refuse to be human targets any longer, and insist upon their voices being counted. Let’s see if their nation will really back them up this time.

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demonstration

Lisa’s story: “It is not flattering to know that I am viewed as a walking set of sex organs.”

I had to go run an errand for my boss at the drugstore up the street. So, I’m obviously focused and in a hurry. I’m also wearing my scrubs, no makeup, hair a mess. This old guy is walking past me as I go up to the register. “Hey, there, sexy,” he says. I stop dead in my tracks and look at him. “Excuuuuuse me?” I ask, with as much sassy indignation as I can muster. “Oh, uh. I said, hi, ma’am…” was his sheepish reply. “You’re fucking right, that’s what you fucking said.” I said and continued walking.

I don’t often get harrassed, and I know the common refrain is that I should be flattered that someone is paying me any attention, but that is total bullshit. It is not flattering to know that I am viewed as a walking set of sex organs. That is not a compliment.

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40+

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public masturbation

HOLLA ON THE GO: Unacceptable

A man on the TTC was masturbating while looking at me and my friend it was on the subway on our way to yorkdale from Kennedy.

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21+

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