Last week, on my way to a StopAsianHate rally, I was fearful I would become a statistic.

On the subway, this guy and I were going for the same seat when we entered the train. I was quicker and sat down before him. Honestly I didn’t know where he came from as I didn’t see him on the platform.

He stood in front of me and tried to stare me down. I held my ground. He sat down on the short end of the L shape seats. Once seated, he mumbled something, which I found out later was “this is why shit happens”.

Even without knowing what he said, I was scared. It crossed my mind he might attack me.

I held tight to my personal alarm and I also turned on my camera in case I needed to document the incident. I avoided eye contact.

This is what it feels like to live as an Asian right now.

No one should have to live like this.

P.S. I found out what he said when someone who got off at the same stop as me, told me. He told me that he was watching, and had things escalated, he would have stepped in to help me.