Sarah’s Story: “Why would that stop me?”

Recently, I signed up to a dating website. I stated in my profile that I was looking for a woman; this is important, because it means that anyone who is not a woman looking for a woman would have a difficult time messaging me.

I received a lot of messages. One of them was from a male user. It started out pretty run-of-the-mill: asking if I’m interested in men as well, if I’d like to have sex with him, etc. It soon turned into me saying I’m not interested, but he persisted.

Generally, I could ignore something like that, even if it was uncomfortably sexual on his part. However, a few nights ago, he sent me a message that’s really just chilling. It includes the following lines (which refers to him forcing me to perform oral sex on him):
“Oh, I know you wouldn’t want to but why would that stop me” and “I’m hard just thinking about it actually”

Since then, I’ve reported his profile and told him in no uncertain terms that what he said is not okay. Alas, he doesn’t comprehend that and insists that I should “toughen up”. He tried to justify his disgusting messages by saying that my profile states I’m interested in Domination and submission – and it does, but only vaguely – so that means I must be interested in being forced to perform sexual acts. I would have blocked him, but there’s no way for me to do that from my phone, unfortunately.

I’ve sent a message to one of the admins of the site and I’m hoping that his profile is removed. I’m not sure how to deal with the larger implications of what he’s said, though, and his messages have left me deeply unsettled. 🙁