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There’s something about dating girls that makes everyone walking down the street want to tell you exactly how they feel about your relationship. If you’re hot, they comment. If they think one of you is hot and one is not, they comment. If they think your lifestyle is fucking disgusting and you should rot in hell, they comment.
In this particular example a girl I was dating and I were getting some late night food from a Mexican cart on 14th street. We were holding hands and looking a little drunkenly doe-eyed when all of a sudden my ladyfriend bolts towards these two gentlemen saying “What did you say? Are you talking to me?” She is a take-no-shit kind of girl and scared the living shit out of them. Their tails quickly went under their legs and they shut their traps.
I never actually heard what they said (it was in Spanish, her first language and one that I don’t speak) and honestly didn’t care too. This kind of harassment happens so often in the lesbian community the exact words never matter. It’s the idea that you are constantly being watched with eyes of lust and hatred (and sometimes fasicination by the tourists) that is what hurts. It is also what makes girls like my ladyfriend on-call bad ass superheroes.
Submitted by Emily
I am only 17 years old and I have not experienced that much cat calling or harassment. I have gotten very few, but they were only things like, “hey beautiful”. But today while waiting on the uptown 28th street subway platform for the 1 train, a man walks onto the platform, he had to be anywhere between his 30′s or 40′s. He’s rolling some boxes and other cargo in through the emergency gate. I am sitting down on one of the seats right next to the gate, I had just missed the last subway by a second so I knew I had a wait till the next one came. I have this weird feeling coming over me. I had realized that the man with the boxes was just leaning against the emergency gate, and he had been for a while. He was right by me and it came off as a little awkward, because I had that “I’m being watched feeling” coming on. I look over and he’s looking right at me. When I looked at him, he stuck his tongue out ALL THE WAY in a licking motion right at me, all while grinning this evil look. He then proceeded to say, “lookin‘ good, lookin‘ good!”.
I knew about Hollaback NYC, and I did have my phone on me. I wanted to take a picture so badly, but my hands seemed frozen and the hairs on my neck were standing up, and my stomach felt like it was going to fall out. I know it may not sound so bad to some of you, but I have never received something to this extent before. I couldn’t bring myself to grab my camera phone and bust his dumb ass, I was in this state of after shock. He walked away right after and proceeded to chat some other women up further down the platform, while I was left in the chair feeling helpless.
I made sure we got into separate cars FAR away from each other when the subway finally came (after that it felt like an eternity). When my stop came, you can bet I ran out of the subway so fast. I didn’t know if we got out at the same stops, but I wasn’t about to find out.
Submitted by Susanna
I would much rather walk the few blocks I need to but the only thing that stops me is that I know I will be harassed. So I take the bus, because what’s going to happen there, I can ALWAYS tell the bus driver or stand near him. Unless of course, he’s the one doing the harassing. I regret not writing about the 2 bus drivers in Manhattan who I had issues with. Here I caught him doing it to someone else.
On the M11, its pretty much a quite ride. A girl was crossing at a stop sign and all of a sudden the bus driver starts honking at her, and saying “mm mm mm damn”. The girl was startled naturally by the honking horn, had her hand over her heart and did what I usually don’t have the guts to do – she glared at him, he turned and moved his head up and down dramatically with some neck movement.
Submitted by Lisa
I was at Enid’s Bar in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Needing a chair, I asked this guy “Is anyone using sitting here?” and he said, “I have somewhere you can sit” then he proceeded to spread his hands all over his mouth and said “right here.” Twenty minutes later he posed for these pictures. He’s the guy in the black, pictured twice.
Submitted by Meghan
I moved to NYC in March and beginning in May I was living in a sublet in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. Not my ideal choice, but cheap and with a friend, so not a bad deal for a couple of months, or so I thought. I have never been harassed so much in my life as in the 8-block, 10-minute walk it took me to get from my front door to the train and back. I have lived in Brazil before and there the men constantly catcall, so even though this neighborhood was annoying, I figured I could deal. Now, I have big curly brown hair and a generous behind, and this definitely attracted attention in that area but what am I supposed to do, dress in a brown sack? Like I said, I figured I could deal with it. One night, however, I was walking home along Nostrand Ave. and a big SUV full of guys, windows down and music blasting, drives in the opposite direction and pulls into a side street right into my path, so that I have to walk around the back of the car. As I walk up to it, they start the customary, “Oooh, girl, mmm hmm!” and all of that typical bullshit, and of course I pretend like I can’t hear them because that’s what I always do. I also wasn’t frightened they were going to physically assault me because the street itself is pretty busy, and even though it was after midnight there were some other people, including men in suits and other people coming home from work. Anyway, I walk behind the car ignoring them, but as I get around it and start walking away from them, one of them shouts (and I mean he screamed it), “I would SUCK your little pink clit. YES I WOULD!” and then he and his buddies just laughed, didn’t even drive away, just sat there laughing. It was the most invasive, disturbing and disgusting thing anyone has ever said to me, and I was absolutely shocked at the nerve of these men. I mean, how would they feel if someone talked to their mothers or sisters that way? What’s worse, none of the men walking near me said anything back to them. I mean, I don’t expect anyone to stick up for me per se, but would it kill you to reprimand the members of your gender that are giving all of you a bad reputation? I mean, grow a pair and tell these assholes you don’t talk to women like that, since lord knows that won’t listen to us! After that night, I started staying at my sister’s place when I got out of work late, and by July I had moved out. I will never ever live in that neighborhood or any other where I feel threatened on a constant basis. EVER. Unfortunately I just found out this site exists, otherwise I would have definitely taken their picture. Hopefully there won’t be a next time….
Submitted by Sage
I’m 13 years old and I was over my friend Monica’s house and she lives about 2 miles away from a 7/11 and she decides we should walk there. I thought it would be fun. (we live in MD in baltimore city) and it wasn’t really late at night or anything either, it was at about 5pm and cars were honking at us and I turned to Monica and said “you know, these guys are pigs its making me frustrated” and just then a guy across the street sitting in front of his house says “hey sexy ladies how are you doin?” and I didn’t hear the entire phrase so I said “hey!” and monica said “shut up! don’t talk to him he wants you to come over there so he can rape you or something!” and then we kept on walking and he kept on talking but his voice faded as we walked. Then later, a car came by and honked at us and it scared me so I flipped him off and he turned on the next open road abruptly and turn around and waited for us to catch up with him. So when we realized this we went across to the other side. Then we were near him and right before he turned we ran back over to the other side of the street and he went in the other direction so I guess he gave up on it. I was extremely scared though. I almost started crying because I was so overwhelmed. That had never happened before.
Submitted by Jessie
NOTE: We don’t usually accept second hand stories, but this sweet and observant post from a man working in Soho caught our eye.
I work at 305 Hudson, which is on the corner of Hudson and Canal. Every night, there are a group of traffic cops there directing the traffic into the tunnel. The other night, there was a woman walking a few yards in front of me, crossing Hudson, going east on Canal, and someone was whistling at her. I thought “Oh no, she’s gonna turn around and think it was me”… but it wasn’t me, it was the 4 cops standing looking at her! I would have loved to taken a picture, but that would just have left me beat up on the ground. Good luck, women.
Submitted by Anonymous
This guy was sitting across from me on the train taking up two seats. this was the 4 train around 4 pm on november 24th (08). he started off my incessantly muttering ‘bitches are gonna get it today, bitches are gonna get it today’ and staring / leering at every girl on the train. then he honed in on me, just staring at my face and smiling, licking his lips, mouthing the word ‘bitch’. finally he started leaning across the aisle with his legs trying to trip girls up walking past him, and then started kicking the sole of my foot. i said ‘what’s wrong with you??? stop touching me!’ and i snapped his picture. i don’t think he noticed because i have a touch screen phone that looked like i was playing a game on it.
i ran to the door at my stop but he followed me off at the last second, sneaking through the doors right before they closed. i ran across the platform (at franklin avenue, brooklyn) and asked two teenage high schoolers for help because i thought the guy was going to follow me. so they pretended like they knew me and walked me up the stairs, stopping at the turnstiles to talk to me for a while. all the while this giant creepy f*ck was standing there watching us. finally he got sick of standing there, threw his hands forward and said ‘forget you bitch! i’ll fuck you another time!’
Submitted by A.T.S.
Just happened- guy harasses me from van- oops, it’s the company van w/phone number. He saw me calling and i watched his face shift from arrogant confidence to sheer panic. Manager apologizes profusely. one point for justice!
-Texted from the streets of New York City