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So I was walking downtown Toronto today back from a workshop and was cat-called. But it felt like more than that. Picture this, I’m walking down the street and some guy stops his bike just in front of where I’m walking but on the road (I’m on the sidewalk) and not only catcalls me but also proceeds to whisper in a really creepy serial killer in the movies kind of way. Ugh!
I was on an expense paid trip with a school group, and as we walked back to our hotel a man approached my roommate. He started to come on to her and put his arm around her waist. When a chaperone and I yelled at him, he did not stop. He was with a group of friends that did nothing but watched as he harassed my friend. He followed us nearly all the way to the hotel until another chaperone confronted him. I was outraged by the blatant disrespect and entitlement that the guy showed.
Recently, I signed up to a dating website. I stated in my profile that I was looking for a woman; this is important, because it means that anyone who is not a woman looking for a woman would have a difficult time messaging me.
I received a lot of messages. One of them was from a male user. It started out pretty run-of-the-mill: asking if I’m interested in men as well, if I’d like to have sex with him, etc. It soon turned into me saying I’m not interested, but he persisted.
Generally, I could ignore something like that, even if it was uncomfortably sexual on his part. However, a few nights ago, he sent me a message that’s really just chilling. It includes the following lines (which refers to him forcing me to perform oral sex on him):
“Oh, I know you wouldn’t want to but why would that stop me” and “I’m hard just thinking about it actually”
Since then, I’ve reported his profile and told him in no uncertain terms that what he said is not okay. Alas, he doesn’t comprehend that and insists that I should “toughen up”. He tried to justify his disgusting messages by saying that my profile states I’m interested in Domination and submission – and it does, but only vaguely – so that means I must be interested in being forced to perform sexual acts. I would have blocked him, but there’s no way for me to do that from my phone, unfortunately.
I’ve sent a message to one of the admins of the site and I’m hoping that his profile is removed. I’m not sure how to deal with the larger implications of what he’s said, though, and his messages have left me deeply unsettled.
A few weeks ago, a car full of men followed my car for 15 minutes in stop and go traffic. I didn’t think to snap a pic, so last night when the same thing happened, I got this. This car had 3 men in it with a woman driving. They stared at me while at a red light, then started screaming at me and holding up pictures of women in lingerie or less.
I have a cat and I’m pretty broke, so I was thrilled that Science Diet was giving out free samples near my office. Well, I was thrilled until I got there. The man giving out samples decided it was a good idea to call me “pretty eyes” as if that was my name. Igave him a disgusted look and he just said “Oh, it was only a compliment.” No, it f**king wasn’t! You, sir, are a stranger commenting on my appearance. It is unwelcome, objectifying, and it made me uncomfortable. At I know what NOT to buy.
I was at diavolos the other night and this guy came up and talked to a friend and I at the table we were at. He was super cool until my friends walked to the bar to get a drink. Then he started leaning in, asking me if I hook up. I said no. He tried to block me from leaving the area. I eventually pushed him out of the way and found my friends. What an asshole.
Just a few weeks ago, I was at hess with some friends. A guy kept trying to talk to me and asked me to go home with him. I said no politely the first few times cause I was drunk and didn’t care but once he persisted and kept on it, I eventually left the area with my friends. We were standing right near Hess and George when the same group of guys that harassed us threw beer bottles up in the air and they fell almost near us. We left Hess right then.
Dear guy, learn respect.
I was walking down the street the other day and some guy whistles at me and tells me “oh, what I’d like to do to that ass”.
I told him to fuck off and he proceeded to call me a bitch. Why the fuck do people think its okay to call people a bitch when they don’t respond the way they are expected to. Why the fuck do people think its okay to comment on people’s bodies and say what kind of sexual activity they’d like to do. No consent is sexual assault, figure it out.
Just sitting at the bus stop when someone yells at me and gives me a nasty shock, making me jump. I look up to see a young blonde guy with his head stuck out the passenger side of a black car with red P plates. He laughs at me while making eye contact and I hear male and female laughter from the car, the windows were tinted so I only saw the guy yelling. Didn’t catch the number plate or I’d call the cops on them for harrassment and too many passengers for Red P plates.