Nonverbal Harassment, Verbal

Holly’s Story: Old pervert taking pics

This man is a regular at my pub, and at first he seemed a nice bloke, albeit, a bit weird. But soon he would male inappropriate comments, and ask the barmaids for their numbers. One girl left her phone on the bar, and he grabbed it and phoned himself from it, so he had her number. Up until a certain incident, he would phone her 2 times a month to make sure she had kept the number. I came into work on a Sunday, in a very nice top, black, lowcut and pirate-esk. I turned around to find him holding his phone up, licking his lips and clearly taking a picture. I called him on it, and to show me he’d deleted it. When he made to put the phone back in his pocket, and ignore me, I grabbed it off him, and threw it on the floor and smashed it. He left, and neither of us had mentioned it since. But 3 days ago, an ex-barmaid told me he had been caught taking pictures of female customers and barmaids he’s terrorized in the past. So I decided to take his picture and post it on Hollaback. He’s a pervert, but he’s far from harmless. Creep. So if you live in the chew valley, and you like a pint, you will recognise this old pervert.

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Verbal

Traci’s Story: Sorry, but you aren’t Johnny Cash

Once when I was 12, I was standing outside of our public library, waiting for my mother to pick me up, when I saw a man walk by. I’d seen him before, and he’d always sort of looked at me funny, so I just sort of ignored him and made sure to stay where I was. He was tall, dark haired, had a bit of a beard, and wore black clothes, as if he thought he was trying to be Johnny Cash with the color scheme he had going. That day, however, when he walked by he gave me this strange grin and winked at me, and made a sort of kissing noise at me. I don’t know if he thought he was being funny, impressive, or obnoxious, or perhaps something else altogether. But, he certainly was being inappropriate. I was a child, and he was a middle-aged man. I was too afraid to tell my mother what happened, but I made sure never to be alone when I saw that man around town, again.

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Verbal

Traci’s Story: A need to stay away from strangers

When I was a very little girl, probably around 7 or 8, I remember going over to play with my friend M. Her street wasn’t the nicest street, nor the nicest neighborhood, and so we stayed in her yard. But, there was a group of teenage boys, perhaps closer to men than boys, who kept hollering at us. M and I totally ignored them, although we did sort of keep an eye on them to know where they were. They were acting very aggressive. Later that day, when my mother and grandmother came to pick me up, those men were so brazen that they started yelling again when my mother, grandmother, and I went by in the truck! One of them, a tall and lean man with dark hair, said quite clearly, “Come here a minute, I wanna moon ya!” I remember that clearly to this day. Especially since my mother said later that, when used in that particular context, it didn’t mean mooning someone like you’d moon them from your car. It meant that they wanted to make a baby with you. It disturbed me greatly, but I was glad to have the information. Not realizing what that had meant, when they said it to me once before that day, I had almost thought of going over to them to give them a piece of my mind. Knowing what they really meant by the phrase, I was a lot more aware of the need to stay away from strangers, especially loud and obnoxious ones.

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Assault, Stalking, Verbal

“I Won’t Hurt You…Well, I Might.”

Once I was with my best friend on the streetcar (in Toronto) and this old(ish) man approached us and started talking to us. I find it very hard to simply ignore people when they do this and he just seemed like a harmless, lonely old man. Then he started asking us if we’d go to dinner with him. We politely declined. Then he started asking if he could pay us 1000$ each to just have dinner with him. We kept declining, and his offers just kept escalating until he was offering 2500$ each to bring us up to his apartment so we could meet his female friend Kitty.
Since we had just been taking the streetcar for fun we decided to get off. He followed.
He kept walking beside us and talking, not being overly threatening, but I was sure to keep myself in between him and my friend (she’s two years younger, and I have a black belt in karate so I know I could handle myself).
She then bumped into something and said “ow” to which he responded “oh don’t worry girls, I won’t hurt you” – then he grabbed my arm and continued “well, I might”.
At this I just knew we had to get away from him. I tried to mouth the word “HELP” to passers by. I made eye contact with numerous people (including three guys who looked like they could have been College football players) but none took notice. I even thought about running up to one of these guys and pretending that I knew them. I didn’t though.
We were in a somewhat chic neighbourhood, and the only places around were expensive lunch restaurants, and our misplaced sense of decency made us not want to disturb people’s meals.
Then we passed by this upscale salon and someone was handing out flyers at the front door. We walked over and each took one and tried to strike up a conversation. Then the old man started talking to this flyer guy. This was our out we thought! We snuck behind him and walked briskly to a corner store just up the street.
Once in the corner store we both looked shook up and the owner of the store asked us if anything was wrong. I quickly told him to call 911 (which he did not) and that a man had followed us off the streetcar and we were trying to get away, but before I could finish the old man walked in and walked straight towards us.
He turned to the owner and said “these are my daughters! This one’s a pilot” – he said pointing to me “and this one’s a nurse” – he said pointing to my friend.
-let me just say that my name is Amelia, like Amelia Earhart, which I hadn’t told him. As well my mom wanted to be a pilot when she went to military college but being a woman she wasn’t allowed. And my friend’s mother is a nurse. Just a really weird coincidence… anyway…
Since he was situated in front of us we were both shaking our heads vigorously to let this store owner know that this was not the truth (plus we were both obviously in our teens, so being a pilot and a nurse was a little out there).
He distracted the man enough that his son could sneak us out of the back of the store. The son escorted us to Bathurst, and from there we walked quite briskly down to Queen street. I don’t know if the police were ever called, but this guy was definitely creepy. At certain points I was sure that if he had found the chance he would have tried something horrible.

Submitted by Amelia

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Nonverbal Harassment, Verbal

“Twice Within Thirty”

Twice within Thirty

1) Well-dressed, well groomed. I was waiting for a cashier at Big Coffee Franchise when the man to my left lunged to his right and wrapped his arms around me quickly, laughed, and then leapt back to where he’d been. I glared, made sure I had my wallet still, and went to find a seat. Within two minutes the manager burst through the kitchen door yelling at him to get out of the store, pulling his grocery bag out of his hands, revealing a bunch of their packaged proprietary coffee blend. So he was kicked out.

2) Unkempt. About thirty minutes later, I am reading and working on my laptop at my seat, and someone comes into the store, marches past my back to the restroom, curses loudly that it is locked, hits the door, [meanwhile I close my laptop, slide it under the table into my lap, and resume reading] . . . and then I don’t hear or notice him back in my peripheral vision. I look over my shoulder, and there he is, standing so I cannot push my chair out or leave, making kissy faces and kissing at me.
Me: “Leave me alone.”
Man: kiss-kiss
Me: “Leave me alone!”
Man: kiss-kiss. “What?”
Me: “Go! Leave me a-lone!”
Man: “I’m just admiring the pretty girl”
Me: “No, go.” (pointing)
Me: Looking around for anyone for back-up, including the young man sitting next to me and the female law student sitting in the next chair… the manager bursts through the kitchen door again and gets the guy kicked out and told off about harassing customers.

Submitted by CR

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Nonverbal Harassment, Verbal

Just Trying To Keep The Women In The Neighborhood Oppressed

I was walking home from work in the dead of winter, and I came to an intersection. The guy driving the pick up truck stopped at the stop sign, and waved me through. As I crossed in front of him, he beeped his truck horn, and I looked at him to see him making a tongue-pass at me. I kept walking, and he rolled down the window and yelled “what’s the matter, bitch? just trying to keep the neighborhood friendly!”

Submitted by Teenie

2 comments 
Verbal

I Wear My Clothing For Myself, Not You

I would like to keep this story general, but I have had several men working at a car dealership make inappropriate comments towards me when I walk by. This dealership happens to be on the route I enjoy walking, and I refuse to deviate my path just because they are so inclined to comment on my attire. A couple of years ago they used to ask me if I would like to exchange my heels for wheels, but eventually stopped when I complained to their manager. I may be walking by the car dealership, but that does not mean I want to buy a car there. I walk by several other car dealerships, and I have never had anyone at those scream at me.

The behavior went away for two years, and then re-emerged a few months ago. Once one of the men told me how he noticed I had new shoes, which made me feel a little uncomfortable. Women walking by a place of business do not usually feel comfortable having men comment on their shoes. A few weeks ago I had two of them screaming they liked my socks, and my hat. They also mentioned they liked my gloves and umbrella.

I suppose I could tell their supervisor, but I really do not feel like wasting my time. Lately I have just been ignoring them, but I would imagine somebody realized what was going on because the last two weeks the behavior died down. I do not respond when one or two of the men screaming hi at me from the car dealership because people do not enjoy being screamed at. I am simply walking by on a public sidewalk, and I would appreciate being left in peace. I do not scream hi at people I do not know, and I would never make comments about what they are wearing. Some things are just not appropriate.

Submitted by J.E.

2 comments 
Verbal

Who Let The Dogs Out?

I was walking into Gold’s Gym, when a car full of men barked at me.

Submitted by Deanna.

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Verbal

It’s The Same In Every Country

After traveling extensively, a year ago I decided to set up and stay put here for awhile.
Every time I leave the house either going to work at 8am, going to the gym, out for an occasion without fail a man or a group, will say or do something in a derogatory and sexist way that quiet frankly makes me feel uncomfortable and somewhat abused!
I’m sick of being looked at or wolf whistled at or being called “baby” and “sexy” like a piece of meat.
Just last weekend I was walking in Bethnal Green at about 8 o’clock at night on a Saturday wearing jeans and a jacket when a car with a man pulled up beside me for about 200 meters asking if I was looking for business and “how much”, I ignored him until he kept persisting until I replied “no, go away”. He continued to follow me yelling in another language with every now and then adding in a “fucking” and a “slut”.
Stuff like this happens all the time, I won’t even leave the house with a short dress or shorts on, despite this being a country of freedom, with fear that I will cause myself unnecessary attention. It doesn’t matter if I am with my boyfriend even, it still happens! Where is the freedom in that? Honestly I have been to some Middle Eastern countries where women hold little status in society and this I can compare it to. WHAT THE HELL! What Country am I in? I have no rights and their isn’t a damn thing I can do beside put my head down and walk on and put up with it.

Submitted by Naomi.

one comment 
Stalking, Verbal

All I Wanted Was My Car Repaired, Creep

So my sister has a guy from the windscreen repair company come over to her house this week to replace her car windscreen.  Matt seemed ok and installs the thing, comments how nice and quiet it is around her house makes small talk including telling her he has an 11 month old baby and tells her she can’t drive the car for an hour.  She thinks he leaves but when she goes upstairs with her baby girl, she can see he is still in the driveway just out of sight. *that’s weird*
He finally leaves and after a few minutes her phone rings, it’s the guy- (she has caller ID).  He says hi after she says her name then a muffled stuff around, hangs up.  A couple more minutes he calls back, she says her name and he, in a stupid voice says “I’m horny and I’m coming in for lunch”  she says “what?” and hangs up.
She’s home alone, no neighbours, a car she can’t drive for an hour, her little girl with her and this dickwit on the phone thinking he can bring this to her home and family.  She calls me and agrees to get the shit out of there, weak windscreen or not.  After complaining to the company she gets another call from him saying he must’ve dialed the wrong number… *bullshit.-arsehole trying to cover his tracks*  She makes a complaint to the police after the company saying they can’t give his name (for confidentiality reasons).  I think if you have someone come to your house for work get their full name and number details before they come in, at least you have some recourse.
Submitted from anonymous in Australia.

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