Assault, Stalking, Verbal

Anonymous’s Story: “They don’t need your liberation”

There is a man, Collin, who has followed me in his car, extremely close behind me while I’ve been biking (then got out of his car and told me what I was doing was illegal. WRONG! I have the right of way to bike in the street, just as a car). He comments on my university student columns all the time, saying awful shit and threatening things. He has done the same on Facebook (I have had to block him). I called the domestic violence shelter in town about him and they put it in their records. Luckily, he has moved to another state, but not for others.  He works for an Asian woman’s agency now, too. He is threatened by feminists and he has a lot of hate toward women who speak their mind. He says he liberates Asian women (I’d like to tell him – they don’t need your liberation).

no comments 
Verbal

Heather’s Story: “I’m so sick of this”

I was biking home from downtown and two men in a pick-up truck yelled, “nice ass!” and were laughing. I caught up with them at the traffic light and screamed, “LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! I’M SO SICK OF THIS!” They would not look at me. I continued to pedal when the traffic light turned green and flipped them off, they refused to take one look at me.

Seriously, I have had so much shit yelled (swear words, sexist shit, sexual things) at me on my bicycle. Even when biking with my 9.5 year old daughter.

no comments 
homophobic, Verbal

Christine’s Story: “Sometimes it just hurts”

Well my story’s a bit different from most, you see I’m intersexed basically i have a tomboyish face and well some biological female parts and for the last few years on and off I’ve had rednecks in the area who would scream at me “FAGGOT.”  Now i also have a physical handicap walking is hard for me at times and the harassment does get bad from time to time, and this also happened last summer when I’d gone to Myrtle Beach, SC.  When I was down there heading up the street at the beach i got catcalled by a man, “Hey, FAG nice purse.”  I screamed back “at least I’m NOT a doucheBAG” at him.  I’m getting better about being comfortable in my own skin, though sometimes it just HURTS

2 comments 
public masturbation, Verbal

Anna’s Story: Put your penis away, no wants to see it

While I was taking the E train home tonight at 10pm, I saw these two jerks jerking off in the subway. One of them came so close to me that when I realized what he was doing, I punched him really hard on the chest to push him away (surprisingly, my natural reaction) and started cursing at him. Of course, the bystanders just shake their heads and and stare. What is amazing is that one of them started justifying their actions by saying you can’t blame the poor man…blah blah blah…I was so shocked that I just started snapping pictures…One of them took off at Roosevelt Ave and the other followed me to the M train and started jerking off in front of two young girls sitting next to each other…So I went over and told him he better hide his ugly penis and told the girls to be careful of this jerk!

2 comments 
racial discrimination, Verbal

RM’s Story: Racism, sexism, and no help

My story happen this morning/afternoon today March 16,2011 between 10:30 -11:30am.  I was walking on the sidewalk going to the bus stop and I notice this guy on the grass.  The guy was mumbling and he call me a “bitch” while I walk by and went to the bus stop.  Once I stop at the bus stop, this guy walks off the grass and walk toward me . As this guy was walking toward me and getting close to my personal space, the guy was mumbling and he call me a “n*****”.   I told him please get out of my personal space and I use my umbrella as a divider.   He left half way down the street and he came back so I tried to get help from a guy on a bike but the guy on the bike didn’t help me. The harasser hit my umbrella and left down the street but he turned around and walk toward me again but my bus arrived. I’m anger that the guy on the bike didn’t help me but I also was scared because this guy kept holding his hand over his jacket like he had a weapon.  I think something needs to be done about street harassment at bus/subway stops.

no comments 
demonstration, Verbal

Marisol’s Story: The message was on my phone

On 3-8-2011 I went for a interview with a manager at a shoe store.  The interview went well and he said that he would callback if he thought I was right for the job.  He said that he was looking to hire a person to help open the store Harlem, NY.  On 3-15-2011 he left a message stating that he would like to setup a second interview.  I called up and one of the girls said that he wasn’t there which I thought was odd, so I told her I will show up the following day.  When I got there I spoke to one of the associates and he said he would show up just wait a second.  So I went to the waiting area.  Five minutes later he shows up and acts as if he never called.  He denied the phone call and acted like I was stalking him.  I gave him my phone with the message and again denied the conversation.  He humiliated me made me feel ashamed when all I wanted to do was the right thing, get work.  Then I get a phone call from the District Manger and he acted non-chalante,”Well, what do you want me to do about it” I told him thought he might be on drugs.  He brushed it off and said “what do you want me to do about it”…I think he’s a misogynist who gets off on demeaning woman.  I should’ve taken a picture of him.  But who knows maybe he’s changed his look.  Who knows if he bullies the black woman or the gay men that work there.  In this day in age when the dollar holds so much value and we all should take into consideration how we are treated and where we should spend our money, that store is a bad investment.

no comments 
Verbal

Heather’s Story: My armpits are none of your business, idiot

My daughter and I were walking on University and I had my arms up and these men from a car yelled, “shave your pits!” and started laughing. I flipped them off.

no comments 
groping, Verbal

Louise’s Story: Harassment even in supermarkets

I was in Sainsbury’s and I was buying cakes and these two guys looked at me and said ”nice” and followed me around the whole shop and wouldn’t stop looking at me, so I left my cart and went and this isn’t the first this has happened.  On nights out, guys would touch me.

no comments 
groping, Verbal

Nadia’s Story: Working with the system to put an end to harassment

I occasionally work through an online service that facilitates pre-screened runners to do tasks for people who either need help for a certain amount of time or doing a specific task. It’s a great service that allows me the ability to work when I have free time, but not maintain a strict regular schedule when a real job would interfere with school. It’s like a more legit way of hiring someone through craigslist to do menial work such as picking up groceries, house cleaning, assembling furniture, moving, event staff etc. During a recent bar tending event, a fellow hired through the same company hit on me the entire night and physically touched me twice. I was going to just let it go but decided that I should stand up for myself, that his harassment was not okay, and that I should not have to wait until I am groped, explicitly verbally harassed or raped before reporting sexual harassment. Everyone deserves a working environment where they can feel secure and not have to simply brush off a situation where another person makes them uncomfortable. I wrote the company this letter and they are taking the matter very seriously. I just got off the phone with one of their representatives who was very supportive and told me that the highest level of the company is currently having a meeting about the situation, that they value and support me and that they are going to take care of this situation. This is the letter I wrote to them:

“This is regarding the bar-tending task that took place this past Saturday 3/12 posted by {redacted} and the runner Ryan S.
I’m sorry if the prose is a bit lengthy and emotional, I’m still upset by the occurrence and had a hard time trying to describe exactly what happened.

It started with the usual introductions and small talk. He asked me if I was single which I thought a bit odd. He then proceeded to lengthily explain that his live-in girlfriend of 5 years up and left him for her boss and how he had moved into the city and was living alone while I nodded politely. At one point I stated that I was tired but my best friend was in from Seattle and I had promised to take her out once I got off but I really wasn’t up for it and needed coffee. He casually suggested half a dozen times that we find an open cafe and grab some together afterward. I pointedly ignored him to spare him the embarrassment and figured he would take the hint. He continued to jockey for an invitation, at one point suggesting that we take the leftover oversize bottle of tequila from the party and split it afterward. I continued to ignore him even though it was obvious that I had heard him. I realize that I should have verbally expressed my dissension but we had several hours to finish bar-tending and cleaning up and I wanted things to run smoothly for our host.

He crossed the line when he physically put his hands on me from behind, holding me with his hands on my shoulders. This was a purely flirtatious gesture on his part. He was not moving me out of the way and it in no way had any practical purpose towards the job at hand. I immediately ran away through the neighbor’s part of the roof that was partitioned off so I could get away as quickly as possible.

I’m not naive and I’ve worked at jobs where the relationship between coworkers allows that sort of contact over time. I had met Ryan that evening and was friendly but not flirtatious and I had given him absolutely no indication that he had permission to touch me in any way. I had just met him, I did not trust him and his behavior was completely inappropriate. He is also considerably older than me which added to my discomfort.

I felt uncomfortable at the prospect of leaving the building by myself in case he followed me as the task ended at midnight and was in a residential section of town. I called a good friend to come pick me up at the door.

At the end of the night he communicated to the host that we were done cleaning and she confirmed that we were good to go. This all happened 5 feet away from me and I heard their conversation. He then came behind the bar where me and the other runner were standing and put his hand on the small of my back and said that we could leave. I wanted him to exit first so that I could wait in the apartment for my ride to show up and to make sure that he didn’t follow me outside. This may seem paranoid but again, I had just met this man, he was older and larger than me, he had physically touched me twice after I had expressed my discomfort and honestly, in the pit of my stomach I felt very unsafe. He stood at the door which was ajar for several minutes seeming to internally debate whether he should openly ask me again to leave with him. I stared at my cellphone and waited for my ride to call, pretending I was engrossed in something.

He is a nice enough man and probably just lonely but he made me very uncomfortable in a situation where I felt powerless to openly reprimand him. I was ambivalent about writing this email at first, but the feeling of discomfort is still vexing me two days later.

I understand that (company name redacted) is unique and the nature of the system engenders an environment where interactions between your employees are hard to mitigate. I don’t want an apology from him and I don’t really care that nothing dangerous ended up coming of it. I would have no trouble classifying this as sexual harassment and want him fired. I absolutely feel afraid of seeing him again and disturbed at the thought of interacting with him, whether at a company party or during a two person job if he happens to get chosen as the other employee. This instance is interfering with my work as I will be weary bidding on two person events, which I usually really enjoy and pay the most.

I feel like I’ve been an valuable employee, picking up jobs whenever I have time, staying flexible to the senders needs, staying communicative with (company name redacted) if there were ever any discrepancies and being an excellent representative of your company. I have a 100% 5 star rating with 20 jobs and have met a few of the actual employees. There are no witnesses to the conversation or the physical contact described above other than possibly the party goers. The other bartender was downstairs at the time. My friend (redacted) who picked me up would be willing to verify my level of distress directly following the party and recount all of the instances I’ve described in this email. I had not met this man before, have no connection to him and will probably never see him again and assure you, I have no reason to fabricate these accusations.

I absolutely do not want to have any further interactions with this man so please make sure he does not contact me. If you have any questions please call me. I would be willing to come to the office and give you an in-person statement if you need one. Prior to contacting him please email me with the course of action you plan on taking. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me before and am still very upset and shocked at the lack of professionalism he exhibited towards me. If nothing is done I will seriously consider closing down my account.

Thank you so much for your time reviewing this matter. I hope to hear from you soon.

-Nadia”

My intention of posting this is to bring hope to some women that sexual harassment accusations can be taken seriously and dealt with appropriately. It was initially terrifying writing the letter and I was worried that I might simply be brushed off but the positive support I’ve received so far is truly inspiring and validating of my experiences and worth as a human being. Not all companies are as intelligent and empathetic to their employees but I thought I’d add my story to the pile and encourage women to report their harassers, even if a situation simply makes you uncomfortable. Regardless of gender, people need to learn respect of each-others boundaries or else sexual harassment will never end.

no comments 
Stalking, Verbal

Chelsea’s Story: “So much for having just moved here.”

I was 19 at the time and my dad had dropped me off at the bookstore so I could buy a book I wanted. On the way back a guy on his bike stopped and began talking to me. I don’t like being mean so when he began asking me out, asking for my number, and trying to give me his, I tried to be nice and say things like “I don’t really like talking on the phone,” and “my dad will be coming to pick me up soon so I need to go,” rather than saying “Your creeping me out, leave me alone.”

But he keep asking me for my number, and trying to give me his, and trying to convince me I should date him out of pity (He was said he moved to the area a few months ago and didn’t have friends yet). I was getting more and more creeped out and more rigid in my answers but he wouldn’t give up. I didn’t want to leave in case he decided to follow me, so it took 20 or 30 minutes of him repeatedly asking for my number and trying to give me his before I could finally leave. How many times does a girl have to say “No” before this guy gets the picture?

That’s not all though, when I was telling my dad about the creep (who has a very distinctive birth mark on his face), it turned out he had done the same basic thing to my sister a few years back at a carnival. So much for having just moved here.

no comments 
Powered by WordPress