Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
This is an old story. This is not new. Still, I think it is important people know what happens in a “quaint tourist town.”
I was 11 the first time I was wolf whistled at while walking in town. I didn’t even have boobs.
I was walking home from school at the age of 15, dressed in baggy clothes, when an old man kept circling the block. He later followed me and my friends to a grocery store.
I was walking home from work as a waitress at the age of 16, when I had a man in his 40s slow his car down and ask me “How much for a party?” He refused to leave me alone and refused to believe I wasn’t a prostitute until a cop car came by.
Two guys are hanging out on the corner and periodically calling out to girls passing by things like “let me take you around town tonight! I’ll wine you and dine you and take you around the city.” then they laugh about it afterwards to each other.
I and two guys I worked with were putting new recycling barrels in a dormitory. We were waiting for the elevator and when it opened it had 5 or 6 guys in it. My co-worker said we’d take the next one. One of the guys said “You two (referring to my male coworkers) can’t fit, but I’m sure we can squeeze blondie in here with us.”
I ignored them as I waited for what felt like forever for the doors to close and them to go away while they smiled and made comments. We went back downstairs to get more bins and they were all hanging out outside the building, calling “Hey blondie! Whatcha doing? Why are you working so hard? Leave the work to the guys and come hang out with us!” I ignored them. This repeated the next two times we came down for more bins, until my coworker finally told them to fuck off.
And they did, until an hour or so later when I was walking off campus to my apartment a few blocks away and the same group of guys were walking around smoking pot. They continued to catcall me and follow me home. I told them to kindly fuck off, and they laughed and said “Ooh blondie is all fired up! I like it!” I texted my roommates as I walked and luckily one was home and came outside our apartment to walk me in and once again tell these guys to fuck off.
It felt like shit to have to rely on a male friend both times to make these guys go away. I felt annoyed that I couldn’t just do my job and walk home without being bothered. It was in broad daylight and in public so I didn’t necessarily feel unsafe, just uncomfortable and annoyed.
I was just starting my job at a popular bar/restaurant in the town I was going to college in. It was my first real experience working in a fast paced resaurant setting, and I was doing my training with one of the other girls who had worked their a long time.
After a couple days, we were scheduled to work out in the outdoor section, which gets pretty hectic when its nice out. Things were going relatively well, until this large table of middle to older aged men came out. They were loud, and extremely obnoxious. They were sticking around for multiple hours ordering drink after drink, and getting noticeably louder, and increasingly drunk.
Each time I went to the table to take drink order after drink order, they kept calling me names like sweetie, sweetheart, doll, etc. and asking me questions that made me extremely uncomfortable. As the night went on, I was getting more and more shaken. There was even one point where one of them knocked me over and I spilled a tray full of drinks all over the ground, and myself.
I tried my best not to let it get to me, until I took their order again, and then suddenly, as I was taking their order, one of the older men I was standing next to took his arm and just laid it on my shoulders. I’m a really small person, just about 5’2, and so I couldn’t get away. The girl I was training with had to pull me away from him, and she told me not to worry about it.
Not long after that experience, I left the bar, because I just couldn’t handle it. I kept blaming myself, saying,”Well I should have expected that, being so small and working around a bunch of drunk men.” But after awhile, I realized I was just supporting their god awful behavior, and that I should have never excused the way those men treated me that night. Its definitely a memory that will always stick with me.
I was pumping gas at the local Chevron station when I heard someone say “Do you work out?” Then I heard someone else say, “Yeah, she works out.” I turned around and saw two men in their 30′s I’d say, leaning out of their windows staring at me and smiling and laughing.
I said, “Are you talking to me?” they said “Yes,” and I said, “Don’t talk to women like that, it’s disrespectful,” and they said, “No, it’s not,” and I said, “I’m sorry that your socialized masculinity has robbed you of your humanity,” and they said, “We’re just being guys,” and I said “I know, that’s what I said, you’re so busy being a ‘man’ you forgot to be human,” and one of the guys ACTUALLY STARTED BARKING AT ME LIKE A DOG.
I guess the point was that I was being a “bitch” by daring to question their right to harass me freely. Or that they were lusting animals. Then the other guy said, “Were just being men and you’re a women,” and I said, “I’m just being human and you’re not.” They drove off laughing. As I type this, I’m STILL SHAKING WITH RAGE. The entitlement of these men was so insulting. Even more heartbreaking is the way they slandered all males with their “boys will be boys” excuse for their bad manners and entitlement. Males like that give “men” a bad name.
I was with my partner at the time and we were outside a grocery store. My partner was upset at the time and I was comforting her (hugging, kissing, etc.). I had noticed a car was circling the parking lot waiting for someone but they kept driving past us and after a while they kept saying, “Kiss her!” and smiling with other remarks I could not hear. It was very uncomfortable.
I’m a 17 year old from Jackson, MS. There’s no reason why I cant go to the grocery store without men in their 30s and 40s undressing me with their eyes. And to make things worse they try to get my number or ask me if I am single. I let them know I’m underage & to leave me alone but there’s no end to it unless I walk off. I have to wait about 5 minutes just to go back to the area I was shopping in. It’s ridiculous.
This happened several years back, but unfortunately I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful summers day, about 2 pm – broad daylight. I had gone to the local bookstore to buy a book & then the corner store for a large fountain drink. At that point I started the mile or so walk back home.
About 1/2 way home a car full of idiots slows down & pulls along side me.
“what ya reading sexy?” I say nothing, keep walking.
“why you gotta be that way? I just want to know what you’re reading?” (um, cause it’s your business how?)
“Is it the Kama Sutra?” (um, no, not even close)
The creeps in the car are all clearly pleased with this “clever” guess.
“You don’t need no book for that, I’ll teach you mami!”
More hooting & hollering & one of them even (I kid you not) barks like a dog.
“1st thing I’d do is rip off that sundress & suck your tits”
Ok, I’m done, I turned around, darted behind the car, quickly crossed the street & started walking in the opposite direction hoping they’d just drive on.
No such luck, the car makes a U-turn & pulls alongside me again. “why you gotta leave, I’m just telling you about your book honey?” (WHAT!?!)
“yeah, he was just getting to the good parts”
& so on & so forth…. it was pretty vulgar & disgusting. I’m walking down the street & this car of assholes is literally stalking me & hurling filthy obscenities.
I still haven’t said anything at this point, but I am FURIOUS!!!! These 4 knuckle dragging pigs are having the time of their lives & NOT ONE OF THEM cared how I might have felt. I’m walking down the street minding my own business & I have to deal with this!?!
At that point something in me snapped. I took my fountain drink (which still had quite a bit in it) & threw it through the open car window as hard as I could. It hit the drivers side headrest hard, the lid came off & pop “exploded” everywhere.
It was a satisfying feeling UNTIL the string of profanities & threats came. For the 2nd time that day I turned directions & ran the other way. I heard a car door shut & assumed 1 of them had jumped out of the car. I was terrified, but as luck would have it a police car turned onto the street headed in my direction. The cops stopped & the car of creeps took off super quickly.
The cops didn’t really do anything about the guys, but they did make sure I got back ok, which I was grateful for.
To this day there are 3 things I don’t know.
1. Did someone somehow see what was happening & call the cops for me, which is why they turned down that street, or did I just luck out? I didn’t think to ask at the time & they didn’t say.
2. Why did the creeps just take off like that? W/4 of them they could have ganged up on me & said they just asked for directions & I “went Crazy” & threw the drink at them. But they didn’t. Did they know what they did was just that wrong? Or were there some sort of outstanding warrants or other reasons they didn’t want to deal with the cops?
3. What would have happened to me if the cops hadn’t of turned on that street?
The only thing I do know for sure is that I didn’t deserve ANY of that. Nobody has the right to talk to another person like that & make them feel as terrible as I did.
Je marche sur le bd Rochechouart entre Pigalle et la rue des martyrs, le long des magasins de musique. Il est midi ou 13h je ne sais plus, il fait beau, c’est septembre. Je suis en jean, basket, petit haut à fleurs. Soudain je sens le truc bizarre, le mec qui arrive en face me mate méchamment (au sens premier), mate mes seins de manière obscène et balance “salope” alors qu’on se croise. Comme ça.
I was on the tube when I noticed a man eyeing me up, he was attractive so I didn’t mind. I got off the tube and noticed him following me. Later I noticed him playing with himself from afar. I walked faster until I couldn’t see him anymore but not being familiar with the area meant that he had cornered me to say “stop teasing me.”
I heard a lady asking if I knew this man. I told her “no” and watched her expertly tell him to leave me alone and said she was not going to let him get away with this harassment and saw him run away with fear as she stood her ground.
Funnily enough I already knew of Ana Maddock. I knew she was well educated, had a career she kept private from her online life, she was friends with a semi-famous crowd. I already wanted to be like her before she saved me. She saved a complete stranger from being harassed and went on with her day to day life and I think that’s astonishing.
Thank you Ana Karina Maddock.
You did what I could only dream of doing.