Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
Today after I came out from the library one Turkish teenager passed a comment: “Wanna fuck!” I stopped there. I wanted to take him to the police. Three other friends joined him and started humiliating me. He told me: “I am a gay…and I fuck him everyday!” (showing his friend to me). Everyone started laughing. When I left the place they shouted: “I wanna fuck you!” I had this enough in my country. Why the fuck am I studying Gender?
My race, class, gender, ethnicity play major roles here in this context. How many times will I ignore this, how many time swill I just pretend that I didn’t hear? My ex-landlord and flatmate started masturbating in front of me….. How many times do I have to tolerate this?
A group of guys were in front of a corner store. I was walking down the street with my mom. I was about 17 years old. When we passed them, they called me out identifying me by what I had on. I wasn’t dressed provocatively. I had on baggy jeans and sneakers and a tee shirt. They started kissing and hissing at me asking me if they could walk with me and asking if I can have my number. I shook my head no and kept walking. They kept calling at me and I just ignored them. When I got about a block away one of em yelled out to me, called me a b*tch and threw a bottle at me!
The glass broke just near my feet and shattered near my mom and I. My mom wanted to go back and cuss them out but that wouldn’t have been a good idea since it was a group of them and there were only two of us. So we walked away.
Now I am in my 30s (though I look like Im in my 20s) and I still deal with Harassment. Nobody has thrown a bottle at me but I still get hissed at, kissed at and cat called. I have even had my hand grabbed on different occasions. What is wrong with people!? I dont get why people feel so comfortable invading peoples personal space and being disrespectful. Then when you tell them not to touch you or to leave you alone, they get mad like YOU did something wrong.
The latest in one of so many of these situations was on my way home from Tufnell Park tube station. I walked past the pub just outside the tube where a man was smoking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look me up and down, make a noise of approval and decided the most appropriate comment was ‘ooo, ‘ello’. Lovely. I looked at him in disgust and carried on walking. I never like to reply to such people for fear of my safety even if it leaves me fuming.
One of the worst situations was coming home late at night from a party with 2 female friends, this was in Hales Place, Canterbury. A man on a bike came up level with us with his crown jewels in hand and started rubbing himself. He said ‘you girls look gagging for it’ and continued to follow us until he realised we wouldn’t give him a reaction.
Even when walking along holding hands with my 6 foot boyfriend doesn’t seem to put off some people. For example a car-full of teenage morons who decided to hang out of their windows, making rude gestures. On this occasion I decided to retaliate as not only did this offend me, but both of us as to sexually harrass a girl in front of her boyfriend just seems beyond rudeness. So I gave them the finger. Childish, but seemingly appropriate.
Although I had been harassed in the street prior to this incident this is the first time I felt frightened. Even though it was midday on a saturday and I was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt a man in a car decided to approach me, a then 15 year old girl on her own. As he slowed down next to me and said “Hey”, I stopped as I naively thought he might be looking for directions at he was at a dead end. He asked me if I was with anyone and I stupidly said I was alone. He went on to ask if I wanted a lift to wherever I was going, for my number, even though I was obviously underage. It ended when I speeded up walking away down a pedestrian only walkway so he couldn’t follow me. After this I felt scared and wondered what I had done to encourage such behavior. I felt guilty for talking to him, and for thinking he had innocent intentions. Now, as a twenty year old woman, I face harassment every day in the bar I work at and have no problem putting men back in their place! I know now where to draw the line when it comes to “friendly” conversations.
I was crossing the street and some mid 20 year old guy made fake orgasm sounds. >:(
I was in downtown Santa Cruz playing pool with my husband, my sister and her then-boyfriend, who is in the Army, stationed in Sacramento. The “boyfriend” kept calling other men “fags” and told my sister that he was “gonna rape your pussy tonight.”
I was so shocked I didn’t even know what to say. When I did speak up, I was laughed at for making a “deal” about it.
This isn’t funny and it never will be.
We later discovered that the guy was a con-artist who had scammed several women, including my sister for money.
Just yesterday, I went to a little corner store near my apartment, where I often pick up a few groceries. It was fairly empty, and I had to go into the back, which is around a corner and well out of sight of the front, where the lady at the cash register was. A man came and stood very close to me, and I walked away a bit. (more…)
The other day while returning home from the city centre on the bus (number 3 if you know it!) I was a victim of street harassment. As anyone living in a city in the UK knows at the back of a bus, on the top level, you will often find groups of young men smoking pot and playing loud irritating music from their phones. On this particular afternoon at 5pm I was walking down the bus isle to be confronted with a barrage of catcalls, starting with ‘that girls got ladders in her tights’ (maybe not overtly sexist or sexual but lets face they would never comment on a mans clothing in this way), this proceeded to more sexual comments ‘got a nice face though’ etc… This was a little intimidating and I decided to ignore them, as in this situation I felt totally powerless. However a girl in front of me on the bus starting confronting them saying ‘we’ve had to listen to you the whole journey and now your harassing a girl, a total stranger you don’t know’, this led to incredibly sexual and insulting remarks directed to her regarding her weight, sexuality, clothing from around eight young teenage boys, around the ages of 15-19. This resulted in a very loud slagging match across a busy bus. Without a doubt confronting these boys made the situation worse, and although I felt I should join her and stand up for myself I said nothing but thanked her and told her it was pointless. I did not want to face more abuse and insults, and frankly put myself in a dangerous position by starting an argument about street harassment. Immediately after this even a man behind me started to mutter things in my direction about slashing peoples faces open and how he had a gun. I feel slightly disappointed that I didn’t stand up for myself in front of these boys but this only would have given them fuel for more harassment. But unless women assert themselves how will it ever end. A catch 22.
The saddest thing about the entire experience was the fact the boys did not see anything wrong with their initial comments, saying things like ‘you don’t even know me girl, I’m not like that, I respect girls’. They did not see this as in anyway a type of sexual harassment.
I don’t have a car, so I spend a lot of time walking or riding the bus. My first memories of being honked at or yelled at while walking down the street go back to middle school, walking home in my own neighborhood. Now, I live about two blocks from a bus route I take regularly, and nearly every day I get honked at. I can’t even walk two blocks without harassment. Not as often, thank god, but often enough, men pull up next to me and want to know my name, my number, where I live, if they can give me a ride…. And every time I think, “does this ever work for you? who in their right mind would answer those kind of questions truthfully to this creepy man that pulled up next to them while they’re walking to school??” I don’t even know how many times I’ve heard “you want a ride, baby?” or “you got a boyfriend” or literally, “can I get yo numba?” from sketchy men of all ages and races trying to get in my pants.
I generally just say no to everything, and fortunately I’ve never had to really fight anyone off–some are more persistent than others but at least eventually give up. But what I’d really like to say is “f*** off” every time, but I’m afraid of inviting more trouble. I hate that I have to think about what I’m going to wear every time I have to ride the bus. I’ll get honked at anyway but it’s worse/more often when I’m wearing a dress or shorts. My economic situation and that I can’t afford a car does not give you license to sexually harass me. F*** off.
Just yesterday, I went to a little corner store near my apartment, where I often pick up a few groceries. It was fairly empty, and I had to go into the back, which is around a corner and well out of sight of the front, where the lady at the cash register was. A man came and stood very close to me, and I walked away a bit. He came very close again, and asked me if I was married. I laughed nervously and said no. He then asked if I was over 18 and what my name was. I accidentally said that I was over 18 but then pushed past him and left the store pretty fast (Also, he had been blocking my way). I wish I hadn’t answered any of his questions, and hope that in future I’ll move away as soon as I feel uncomfortable. I was back there today and saw him, and felt really unsafe. It sucks that now I will have to walk a bit farther to get food somewhere else.