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I was in a drugstore few weeks ago and was looking at some products when I felt something brushed through (with some pressure) on my butt. I thought it was just a bag of a lady so I didn’t take notice of it. Second time it happened, I saw a man just walked past behind me and he was talking to his girlfriend/sister before that. I looked around and I was really sure he was the one that touched me. I panicked and try to spot if it was his hands or just something he was holding. It was his hands. And then it happened again and this time, I stared at him and he just gave me a smirk and actually stood staring back at me. After a while, the girlfriend/sister called out to him and he walked away. Not before talking another look at me. I was so freaked out and I don’t know what to do. He was obviously younger than me, probably just a teen. I was wearing a tank top dress that was mid-thigh length.
I often experience stalking in the mall or when I am walking home. There was so many times that the strangers stalk me till I was almost reaching home. I has to rush to the lift (pretending that I wasn’t running away at the same time) and I pressed on multiple levels so that the stranger wouldn’t know which level I am staying at. I shouldn’t have gone to my block where I am staying, but I was afraid to walk anymore further with someone following me.
Verbal / Ogling:
Many times there are strangers who gives me the dirty look and eye me up and down. I wear casual office wear most days and these are the days that are the worse. I have no idea why. Even at work. Sometimes strangers pretend to talk to me, like saying ‘Hi’ and eye me all over. Sometimes the more disgusting ones whistles and stuff. For example, yesterday when I was about to cross the street, a man old enough to be my grand father commented at me and said something I didn’t want to hear.
Yesterday in the train, a older man stood facing me throughout the whole journey. Everyone was facing the door (including me), but he was the only facing me. He kept leering at me and when other passengers blocked his view of me, he shifted to make sure he sees me again. It was so disgusting and he tried to move closer but there was too many passengers and I kept moving further away too. When I alighted, he tried to come closer, but I sneaked off with the crowd quickly.
I work in a mostly male dominated industry. I am also an out lesbian. Because of this, my coworkers think it is okay to completely demean women in front of me. They have a thing where if a “hot” girl comes in the store they yell out a code word so everyone will know. It is disgusting, sexist and pathetic and I called them out on it.
Rather than respecting me as a woman and thinking about how disrespectful it is to all women when they behave this way, they got mad because I don’t do it too!
Really? I told them that women do not go out into public to be ogled over and talked about by disgusting men. It is sad that we can’t even go to the store without men being perverts and refusing to see what is wrong about it. The fact that when I walk home from work I get at least ten honks, as well as whistles and catcalls is horrible, infuriating and sickening. I am not an object.
Last year, a man went on catcalling at me almost every morning the moment I left home on my way to work. He was always riding in his car, and shouted something like “hey beautiful” while he drove past me. He even purposedly changed route, just to be sure to greet me every time he saw me approaching. That pissed me off so much, but I was never able to answer back because I was always too angry or he just drove past too fast. Sometimes I also considered changing my morning routine in order to avoid him! That stopped when I actually changed my habits, luckily for other reasons.
My friend and I were walking to get coffee, it was a bit dark outside, a group of highschool boys started following us, we turned a corner, they turned a corner, they started yelling things at us asking us to turn around, to say high, we kept ignoring them, finally I felt something hit me in the back, they had actually thrown a rock at me, and not a small rock either. This isn’t something that only happens sometimes, it’s every day. It’s disgusting, and it needs to stop.
I walked out of my town house to meet the tow truck for my car (really bad day). I walk into this guy at my front gate. He looked me up and down and asked me my name. I was silent and glaring at him. I turn around to go inside my house. And he asks “you a daughter?” He cat called me and assumed I couldn’t afford my own place. I went inside and waited while peaking out the window to see if he left. Went back out afraid to be by myself.
Cat called at least 4 times while walking alone in St. Louis yesterday.
When I was 14, my female friend and I were walking around the mall, when this group of guys a couple years older than us started following us. They were about a foot behind us, and one of them was telling the other to touch my friend’s butt. He was reaching his hand out, and we walked faster and hid in a store until they moved on to play that really funny joke~ on someone else probably
It was about 3:30 am on a Friday night/Saturday morning when I decided to walk to the Dunkin’ Donuts near my apartment to grab a scoop of ice cream. I crossed the brightly-lit intersection, seeing in the corners of my eyes, the cars waiting for their light to change. I noted a convertible at the front of the intersection and closest to me, which was fully seated with three men and a girl. Suddenly, I heard a male voice yell from the car, “How much?” With a quick glance back, I retorted, “Go fuck yourself! to which the man haughtily replied, “She said, ‘Go fuck yourself!’ Hahahaha!!!”
Needless to say, I was incredibly offended by this stranger’s unabashed objectification of me and my body, by his diminishing me into something that can be bought. I feel extremely angry thinking about it. The sexual objectification of women in our culture is pervasive. Some people feel that cat-calling is a minor, practically non-issue. But as a young woman in my twenties, I am telling the world that it is far from a minor infraction. Nearly every day, I deal with cat-calling. I’d like to be able to walk out of my apartment to run errands or buy some ice cream without worrying that I will be verbally or physically violated. I cannot wait for our society to be one that demands respect for women at all times.
I was getting into my car but the key wasn’t working, I heard a man getting closer, he started saying things like sexy beautiful gorgeous, I got nervous and it made the key more hard to work, finally he was right in front of me and he yelled “hey bitch,” I stared at him and yelled shut up and finally my key worked and I got in my car and drove away
On an extra hot day, I had decided to wear- albeit hesitating very much- a tank and jean shorts. I felt uncomfortable wearing this outfit, because of the kind of harassment women and minors get in my neighborhood. However, I realized that if I was restricting my outfit that much to avoid any kind of demeaning attention, whether or not the men (and boys) cared if I was an adult or that I just simply didn’t want it, I was giving these people a kind of power over me. I decided to opt for comfort.
My fiance and I went around the area, walking our dog and getting an errand done. I had in fact, half an hour later, almost completely forgotten about the anxiety of the very thought of being approached by a stranger via harassment or assault. On our way back, a group of rowdy men stopped suddenly. I wasn’t sure if it was at a red light, but they immediately spotted me and began to yell from the vehicle. Making very odd, inappropriately dramatic gestures. Grinning, speaking straight in our direction. I felt like they were looking straight at me.
At first, I didn’t understand what had happened. I was in the middle of a conversation with my partner when this moment abruptly interrupted us. But I immediately felt like something bad was happening or something worse could happen. I frowned at them in confusion, perhaps looking displeased.
The driver, with his window down, repeated his remarks and he drove off really fast. A block of walking in silence and we had realized what they were asking was how much my partner had paid for me.
I was being propositioned. And I knew that day I looked young enough to pass for a minor even though I am 23. In either case, it felt hostile and frightening and made me feel disgusting about myself and furious at not having pepper sprayed them immediately.
My mother took my account with an air of tiredness. All she could say was, “Some men are like that”, and to ignore what had happened.
Sexual/gender based violence (among other serious issues) is very prevalent in my area. And the more I experience this, the more driven I am to do something about it. I’m just not sure how to stop the violence if I see it, and get the community to stand with me without actually getting hurt.