Verbal

Trying to be strong

A lot of people talk about how they are sexually harassed because of their beauty and how strange men want to have sex with him. But I don’t see a lot of stories about how cruel random men can be to women on the street. More than once, men have said things to me along the lines of “you couldn’t get this dick if you tried” or “damn she ugly” as I passed. Sure, there have been times where guys have said “damn girl, what’s your name? I said what’s your name?!?” And made comments about me to their friends, which is objectifying and demeaning. But there have also been times where boys I have never said a word to have destroyed my self esteem with one comment about how un appealing I looked. I don’t know which is worse.

I've got your back!
45+

no comments 
homophobic, Story, Verbal

Crystal’s Story: I’ve never had a problem, however…

I’ve never had a problem being open about my sexuality, however, when I’m in public with my girlfriend, something is always said. One time we were at the mall, and someone said “I’d like to join you two dykes in bed”. We just kept walking. We’ve also been followed and people say things about needing real dicks in our lives. / I was alone, and when I said “No, I’m gay.” The guy said, “not after you suck on this dick.”

I've got your back!
21+

no comments 
Story, transphobic, Verbal

Amanda’s Story: I’m not a zoo animal

Last night I went to use the bathroom in a pharmacy across from the train station quickly before the next train came to go home. I was already anxious being a young vulnerable girl taking the train home alone at 11:40pm, so my mind slipped and I had left my keys in the bathroom due to rummaging through my purse on the sink and didn’t realize until i was about to cross the street outside of the store. Beforehand, when I walked in the store I heard and employee say “what THE fuck” and I wasn’t sure if it was towards me until I ran back into the store to get my keys I left in the bathroom. I heard him say “what THE FUCK” again and when I had come out of the bathroom going down the aisle to exit the store, he was talking shit about me with another coworker and a customer saying “oh yeah, that’s a man alright” “ew” and similar remarks. I was a bit appalled that these cashiers thought they could just treat a customer like a zoo animal. I went up to them and took their picture but I was already shaken enough so I took my phone back down too quickly and all I got was a total blur :(. However, I did catch the name of the rude bystander cashier that was with the man who was harassing me by the name of “ROXY” sadly I couldn’t catch the harasser or his instigating coworker’s name tags. To add insult to injury after taking the pictures they patronized me saying “damn HE’s got the hots for you”. I hope something is done about this I’m in the process of contacting their supervisors/managers and hopefully be taken seriously bc this is disgusting and the last thing any person, let alone a frequent customer deserves to experience on their day-to-day business.

I've got your back!
33+

no comments 
Stalking, Story, Verbal

Stephanie’s Story: Make a point

I work at a building community next to a large produce market from the port. To get coffee or lunch, I often have to walk through the market while produce is being loaded, unloaded, and purchased. Nearly every time I walk through this area, I am harassed by whistles, catcalls, winks, and sometimes followed to my destination. Most of the time I ignore them, sometimes I make a point to tell someone if they should be ashamed of themselves for making women feel unsafe. Sometimes I even laugh at them really loud and make a point to make them embarrassed.

I've got your back!
21+

no comments 
Story, Verbal

Amira’s Story: Not your “baby”

A few weeks ago, I was walking home from picking up groceries and by the time I neared my apartment building, my fingers were red from the cold and aching from carrying my heavy groceries 7 blocks. I grew impatient when a group of two men (construction workers) were walking rather slow in front of me and taking up the whole sidewalk. I said excuse me so they they started to move out of the way when one of them turned around. He stopped and said “Hey there, I’m sorry. Happy New Year, baby.”

This is the second time a strange man has infantilized me in my neighborhood in the three weeks that I’ve lived there.

I've got your back!
16+

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Story, Verbal, youth

Grace’s Story: “I didn’t want that kind of attention”

I used to ride my bike almost every day, and almost every day, men would express themselves towards me as I rode. They’d shout at me from their car windows as they drove by, often incoherently, but sometimes I’d catch the word, “sexy,” or “baby.” Sometimes they’d honk their horns (not a euphemism) as well, or simply honk their horns and keep their loud mouths shut. Pretty standard stuff.

Except I was only fourteen years old.

It was my first year at a new school. I was young and innocent, and I’d only just started liking boys maybe a year or two earlier. I’d never even held a boy’s hand, let alone kissed one. But there I was, bombarded with sexual evaluations of my budding body from grown men, many of whom were likely old enough to be my father. I didn’t want that kind of attention from grown men. Not only were the sounds themselves extremely annoying, but the easily inferred intent behind those sounds was very intimidating to me at the time, and all I wanted to do was get home or to school in peace. But the truth is that I was starting to look like a woman, and those men couldn’t tell that I was just a child in passing. I know that must have been the reason, because I never got that sort of attention from grown men at that age when I was face to face with them.

So that’s something to think about: That “woman” you’re gawking at and calling “sexy” may actually be a child.

This is actually an excerpt from the blog I wrote about the video Hollaback made that went viral a few months ago. You can read the rest of the blog here: http://therightwinggeminist.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-catcalling-video-commentary.html

I've got your back!
18+

no comments 
homophobic, Story, transphobic, Verbal

Amanda’s Story: “these cashiers thought they could just treat a customer like a zoo animal”

Last night I went to use the bathroom in CVS across from the train station quickly before the next train came to go home. I was already anxious being a young vulnerable girl taking the train home alone at 11:40pm, so my mind slipped and I had left my keys in the bathroom due to rummaging through my purse on the sink and didn’t realize until i was about to cross the street outside of the store. Beforehand, when I walked in the store I heard and employee say “what THE fuck” and I wasn’t sure if it was towards me until I ran back into the store to get my keys I left in the bathroom. I heard him say “what THE FUCK” again and when I had come out of the bathroom going down the aisle to exit the store, he was talking shit about me with another coworker and a customer saying “oh yeah, that’s a man alright” “ew” and similar remarks. I was a bit appalled that these cashiers thought they could just treat a customer like a zoo animal. I went up to them and took their picture but I was already shaken enough so I took my phone back down too quickly and all I got was a total blur :(. However, I did catch the name of the rude bystander cashier that was with the man who was harassing me by the name of “ROXY” sadly I couldn’t catch the harasser or his instigating coworker’s name tags. To add insult to injury after taking the pictures they patronized me saying “damn HE’s got the hots for you”. I hope something is done about this I’m in the process of contacting their supervisors/managers and hopefully be taken seriously bc this is disgusting and the last thing any person, let alone a frequent CVS customer deserves to experience on their day-to-day business.

I've got your back!
7+

no comments 
Stalking, Verbal

HOLLA ON THE GO: Stalked in the Shopping Centre

Walking to college through a shopping centre a “gentleman” held the door for me. Same man then follows me gets ahead of me and constantly kept turning around to make sure I was there this made me anxious but then he walked down and alley and I just thought what a creep so kept walking and he appears at side street looks around for witnesses, asks the time and proceeds to verbally assault me with explicit sexual language. Contacted police all caught on CCTV. No charges. Not my choice. WTF.

I've got your back!
15+

no comments 
Story, Verbal

Jemma’s Story: Drive-thru discomfort

I was on my way to work, and wanted to grab a sandwich at a local bakery/cafe. I usually go in, but they have a drive-thru, so I thought I’d just do that to save time. The new guy there seemed okay the last time I went into the cafe, so I thought nothing of it when he greeted me at the window. He handed me the food and drink, I handed him the money, and was given my change. He smiled as he gave it to me, and said something that sounded like “sexy,” or “you’re sexy.” I couldn’t clearly hear it, but I didn’t need to. It didn’t quite hit me at first, so I just sort of absent-mindedly nodded. He walked back toward the kitchen, still grinning through the window. It dawned on me then, and made me furious. He must’ve known that by being at the window, he wouldn’t be heard by any of the other professional and kind people who work there. I usually go there to pick up baked goods to bring home, and now I don’t want to go alone. It infuriates me that just because he’s an employee, I should somehow be less deserving of comfort in going there. I already stopped going to another casual order then pick up type restaurant where a cook hit on me in a creepy way. I hate how flustered I still get in these situations, and that men like himself make it so that I rearrange my routines out of anxiety. When I told my boyfriend about it, I broke down and cried, because I feel like I’m running out of places I can go and feel comfortable. We skipped going to the gym that night too, because I was afraid of any unwanted attention or conversation attempts. I wish the men who do it could just stop making excuses and grow up.

I've got your back!
31+

no comments 
Verbal

Charlotte’s Story: Most Certainly Not A Compliment

Today after work at the supermarket, very tired and wanting to go about my business as fast as possible, a man came up to me randomly, bumped me on the arm and said “You’re beautiful”. As he said it, he leered closely over me, making sure to keep creepy eye contact as long as possible. Unsolicited remarks like that really grind my gears, and they’re such a normalised everyday act that happens to women the world over, men invading women’s private space in public, reminding us just where we stand to them, telling us we’re nothing without men’s bodily validation. Naturally I froze, I was actually this close to saying thank you to him, it’s my natural reaction to a compliment, until I figured this was harassment and most certainly not a compliment. Well this is to you rando surpermarket creep: I know I’m beautiful. I don’t need your approval. You can f*ck right off.

I've got your back!
8+

no comments 
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