I was walking down Hertel Ave by myself this afternoon, on my way home from the bank, minding my own business. I questioned my choice to wear leggings instead of jeans with my tunic before I left the house for this exact reason, but told myself that it shouldn’t matter and that I was strong enough to overcome any unwelcome comments. Well sure enough an older male came up from behind me on his bike and turned as he passed me to get a good up and down as he said “you so fiiine”. He almost hit a pole as he turned to continue on, and I wanted nothing more in that moment than for him to have actually hit it. I was so skeeved out and uncomfortable, but I managed to reply “f*ck you, I hope you get hit by a car”. I continued on my way home but when I saw him get off his bike and stop up ahead of me, I choose to turn down a side street just to avoid going past him again. I hate that I allowed this creep to even affect my day and my route home but it was less painful than passing him again and giving him another opportunity to make more unwanted comments or worse.
I have experienced on more than one occasion inappropriate comments by a male co- worker. The comments have varied and usually are directed by how I look. From simply telling me I look good today to how he was thinking about me recently. It’s subtly but very uncomfortable because not only is he my coworker but he happens to say these things only when no one else is around. I’ve mentioned it to another coworker who said that he’s just a really “nice guy”. My instinct and gut feeling tell me otherwise. I’m married and so is he. I can say that if my husband spoke to the women he worked with the way this guy did I would not be happy. I do think he knows what he is doing and I think he is just pushing to see how far he can get. It’s just uncomfortable but I’ve decided I’m going to say something to him if it continues and I WILL let a superior person at work know.
This is all just not ok and needs to stop!
BIG NEWS: HeartMob launches today and is ready to help you reclaim the internet! HeartMob is the first online platform to tackle online harassment by providing real-time support to individuals experiencing online harassment and gives bystanders concrete actions they can take to step in and save the day. With HeartMob, love and support is just one click away!
Watch this short video to see it in action!
Here’s how it works: Users who report harassment will have the option of keeping their report private and cataloguing it in case it escalates, or they can make the report public. If they choose to make it public, they will be able to choose from a menu of options on how they want bystanders to support them, take action, or intervene. Bystanders looking to provide support will receive public requests, along with chosen actions of support. You can “have someone’s back” and know that you’re helping them out in a time of need while directly contributing to safer spaces online!
The internet is the world’s largest public space, and just like in the streets, we ALL have the right to safety and respect. HeartMob is here to drown out the hate with lots of love and support by giving voice to people who experience online harassment, and tools to people like you who want to end it.
Check out HeartMob here, and get ready to reclaim your space on the internet!
This creepy guy followed me on the street I live I get sexually harassed or followed from time to time this is ridiculous this needs to stop no woman should ever experience verbal sexual harassment or being followed from any guy no means no
Six years ago in 2010, our executive director Emily May sat down with Assemblymember Jim Brennan and asked, “what could New York State do to reduce harassment?” They were both determined that increasing criminalization wasn’t the answer, and the two batted around ideas for over an hour.
One of the problems that concerned them both was how reports of sexual violence on the subway were swept under the rug. The data was difficult to find, and riders were kept in the dark about which trains were safest. This not only silenced survivors — it put riders at further risk, as they didn’t have the information they need to advocate for safer subways.
Assemblymember Brennan put together a bill that would require the NYPD to submit a report to the City Council annually that detailed subway crimes including, “aggravated sexual abuse,” “sexual misconduct,” “rape,” use of abusive or obscene language or gestures,” and “following,” among other felonies.
Bill A4310A was consistently shot down by Mayor Bloomberg’s team despite widespread support from New Yorkers for Safe Transit, a coalition of community based organizations. This year, it gained traction. Assemblymember Brennan worked with Senator Golden to push the bill. And we are proud to announce that six years after that first meeting…
Now, data on location of criminal activity, including sexual harassment, will be updated quarterly online. It’s a small step, but an important one as we work together for fight for our right to commute safely and without fear of harassment or assault. We’ll update you on how to access the data once it’s published.
We are grateful to Assemblymember Brennan, Senator Golden, and the community groups that fought alongside us to make this bill a reality. It is our hope that together, we can use this data to advocate for increased public educational campaigns like PSAs in the subways, workshops in schools, community safety audits, and training for the police.
It’s every day. ‘That’s so gay!’ ‘You look gay’. It’s everywhere. And what does it mean? Stupid, different, anything negative. We need to put an end to daily homophobia.
I went to the movies by myself, for the first time. There was an older man sitting next to me (looked well-dressed, polished). He looked at me quite a few times, must have noticed I was alone. Five minutes into the movie he started stretching his left leg towards my side so that it slightly touched my leg. I moved my legs so that it wouldn’t touch anymore but he kept invading my space. He then crossed his legs and started moving his hand on the hand rest towards my side so that the sides of our hands were touching. The whole ordeal went on for about 15 minutes, him probably thinking that I wouldn’t notice small touches. Luckily a group who was sitting in the same row as me left the move 20 minutes in for some reason. I promptly changed my seat and went across the aisle. The man left the hall shortly after.
Although there wasn’t any groping involved, the whole situation was scary; I would have left the hall if not for the seats around me emptying up. Just the fact that someone thinks its okay to touch someone else without consent and be complacent in the belief that the girl would not create a scene or not notice small advances is deeply unsettling. I will remember to take a corner seat and buy the seat next to me the next time I go to the movies. It is troubling how certain it is for a woman to be made to feel unsafe in a public space, every single time she steps out.
My friend and I were walking home from an off-campus party. I was on the outside, near a row of parked cars dimly lit by scant street lights. As we approached a nondescript sedan, one of the windows slid down. “Hey girl, you wanna party?” a young man called out. We didn’t respond and picked up the pace. The car was just steps ahead and we could see, now, there were four men inside. They just sat there, in the dark, no engine running, no lights on. As we passed, the rear passenger door swung open. “Come here, bitch.” An arm extended from the car and latched onto mine. He yanked and pulled me toward the open door. “NO!” I screamed, realizing I was losing ground. My friend grabbed my other arm and together we wrenched me away, tug-of-war style, out of his grip. And we ran. We ran before the others could get out of the car. We ran without looking back. We ran all the way to campus, all the way into our dorm, not daring to stop until we heard the lock click behind us.
Between my best friend’s house and mine there is a building under construction. Whenever a girl passes by, the workers shout and catcall her. That happened to me a few times and so it happened to a lot of other women. We live pretty close so I normally walk there daily, and it’s also my way to class. One day I realized the men recognized me as they knew I passed by everyday generally the same time and I started getting scared. Since then, I’ve asked my best friend to pick me up when I visit him and to go to class. I was never catcalled again. My best friend is a guy. I guess they respect the man who is with you.
At Hollaback! HQ this week we started the last phases of our End of the Year campaign and got ready for the upcoming holidays–this will be our last WIOS until the new year! Metro interviewed Debjani about the increase of sex crimes on the NYC subways, and Fast Company featured Emily in a new piece.
And at Hollaback! around the world:
Hollaback! Croatia hosted a party for their Lesbian of the Year award, honoring those who contributed to the visibility of lesbians, bisexual, and trans women in the field of sports, culture, activism and generally improve the quality of life for LGBT minorities.
Hollaback Ottawa attended an International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers rally!
Hollaback Katmandu attended a ‘Feminist Film Screening’ hosted by Voices of Women Media at Women LEAD. The event showcased two short documentaries about child marriage and the lack of access to public toilets for young women. The screening was followed by a question and answer session with the director, where our LEADers discussed issues like gender discrimination and gender roles, and the impact it has on the lives of young women.
Hollaback Belfast joined the South Belfast Lantern Parade to light up South Belfast this Sunday, which will help fundraise for community events – including Reclaim the Night 2016!