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Anonymous’s Story: Epidemic

 

I stumbled upon your website this evening, I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for your efforts. I experience sexual harassment regularly as a young female which, combined with trauma from childhood molestation, often makes it difficult for me to cope with feelings of humiliation, frustration, and objectification. It had gotten so bad to the point where I began questioning if there was something wrong with ME. Was it the way that I dressed? Couldn’t be, because I dress rather conservatively. Was it my demeanor? I tend to keep to myself and certainly do not have a ‘come-hither’ attitude. I even began to question if it was my pheromones that were attracting creeps, as if I was the source to blame. Therapy has helped me cope with my past trauma, but there are some days when I don’t even want to leave the house or socialize in the outside world because I just don’t have the energy to put up with it anymore.

 

After reading so many Hollaback stories, I now realize that this isn’t just a problem that I am experiencing alone, but an epidemic. It’s not me that’s the problem, but THEM. It’s empowering to know that there are other women who have experienced the same thing and are taking a stand against it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for showing me that I am not alone, and that there are resources I can turn to to combat under-the-radar sexual harassment.

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Sexual Assault Caught On National TV

BY RAVEN NICOLE WILLIAMS

Today I witnessed one of the worst and most blatant abuses of a woman’s human rights ever caught on live national television.

During an episode of Discovery Channel’s “Lockdown” a male corrections officer is seen sexually assaulting a young woman in custody. The clearly distressed female is heard pleading “stop touching me” and the guard is seen groping her breasts twice, after the second grope the officer appears to be smirking.

The assault can be seen between 1:25 and 1:34 on the YouTube footage and it is clear that the guard touches the victim’s breasts twice intentionally. Look at the video below to judge for yourself, there is no question that he is committing a crime:

This is not right.

Prisoner or not, no one has the right to touch you inappropriately on your body; not a police officer and not a prison guard. Official procedure exists stipulating how to pat down a prisoner. As a former security guard for the port of New Orleans, the way that woman was violated is unacceptable. It is impossible that any of the officers were permitted to touch her like that. From my experiences with the prison-industrial complex, the only time a pat down is warranted is if the prisoner is being accused of a felony or has been found to have drugs in her/his possession.

Sadly, the sexual abuse of women, from my experiences with the jail system, as well as the countless other women who have been locked up in the prison industrial complex, occurs all too often. It is allowed because of prejudiced attitudes towards those, who in many cases have either never been found guilty and/ or accused of survival crimes, that are deemed no longer human or worthy of respect because they broke the law.

In most cases these types of victims do not feel that they have the voice to speak out, but today I ask you to join with me and give this woman a voice by signing the petition below:

http://www.change.org/petitions/deputy-sexually-assaults-woman-on-live-tv?pe=d4e

Please help in the campaign to see that this woman gets justice by ensuring that this officer, who clearly committed a crime, is prosecuted for his offence and a strong message is sent that no officer is above the law.

Thank you!

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Kent’s Story: “Hatred and bigotry are still ever present in our world”

I was enjoying an early evening (7:30pm) in New York City’s Madison Square Park on Wednesday 03 August; when I walked to the northwest corner of the park (near 26th Street & 5th Avenue) a man started yelling out obscenities to me; I walked away and took a seat further south (near 25th Street). I could still hear him yelling…and so could the other twenty or so people on the benches between this man and me. Eventually I stopped hearing him.

I kept my eyes open for a Park Employee thinking to report the man, but saw none in the area. I didn’t hear nor see the man and at 8:00pm I finished a cell phone call and decided to walk back to the exit at 26th Street & 5th Avenue.

Suddenly I heard the man again and saw him get up from his seat (in the dark shadows on the north side of the park) as I turned down the exit path. There were others still seated near the exit; even a man walking his dog whom I had to walk around to make my turn to the exit path.

The man was about 6 foot 2 inches (two inches shorter than me); but heavier than me; yelling “faggot” and slurred threats my way. He sped up to intentionally cross my path at this narrowed point (because of the man with the dog). Passing within a foot of me, he yelled “faggot” again and threatened to beat me over the head with a bottle he had in his hand.

I said nothing and hurried away from him toward the exit. He was still yelling obscenities.

The frightening thing to me is that this could happen in clear view and proximity to so many other people who were in the park.  It was still relatively light out, as dusk was still falling.

It was a disturbing experience for me, which I still think of days afterwards as I walk the streets of New York, even in these “good neighborhoods.”  This Madison Square Park is normally very safe and family-oriented.

It just reminds me that hatred and bigotry are still ever present in our world; no matter the “advances” we in the Gay Community believe we are making, and no matter the “acceptance” we seem to be seeing from the general population; we still have to be vigilant and cautious as there will always be people out there meaning us harm.

Thank you for reading my story.

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Fiona’s Story: Violated

I am holla’ing for my friend Brooklyn. We were walking in Union Square the other day when a man bumped into her. I thought he had actually just bumped into her, but when we walked away, she mumbled “Wow, I feel kinda violated.” I asked why, and she said “That man grabbed my vagina.” I told her to point him out so we could call the cops, but she didn’t want to; she said that she couldn’t point him out.

My mom warned me earlier that day about the large amounts of perverts and pedophiles in Union Square, and I didn’t really believe her at first.

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Anonymous’s Story: “I’m only 14″

So me and my sister were walking acrossed the street these 2 guys walked passed us and one said ‘Hey ladies’ we didn’t reply, he said ‘Then don’t say SHIT’ my sister said ‘Cause your ugly as fuck’ I’m only 14.

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Anonymous’s Story: Harassed at bus stop

Bus stop at the corner of Nevada and Alabama, Bellingham. Red truck drove by and passenger yelled “damn!” out the window. Startled me.

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Anonymous’s Story: “Let me get your picture!”

This guy gave me creepy looks and said in a creepy voice, “mm sexy, I like, I like” as I walked past him on the street.  I took a picture of the building he went in to.  (the Hollaback I made right before this one).  Then I turned the corner and was waiting for my friend that I was meeting, and who should come around the side of the building but my hollaing guy.  He walked past me again, and made more comments, a little more disgusting this time (don’t remember exactly what he said).   He was a mover and went to unload a truck.  I walked right up to him and said, “oh hey, there you are! I was looking for you, let me get your picture!  I’m going to put it on the internet and let everyone know what a creep and loser you are, since you have to go around hollering at women to make yourself feel good!”  He mumbled something about “I just wanted to say hello.”

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Anonymous’s Story: He has no ownership over womankind

As I walked home from work this evening wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, a man walked toward me looking at me as if he had some sort of ownership over womankind. As we passed he said in a low voice, “You shaped like a black girl.” I shook my head as he passed, and I saw him leer at me from behind as well.

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Nicola’s Got Nerve

As the month of September draws to a close, many young students are already starting to focus on what their mid-term projects will be, coming to terms with that mystery meat served up in the cafeteria, and getting into the rhythm of heavy amounts of school work after a summer of freedom. This is the life of a typical middle-schooler, and it doesn’t seem to have changed that much over the last twenty years. But one thing has ~ the prevalence and viciousness of girls getting bullied by other girls. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a new phenomenon by any means, it’s just that it seems to be taking a particularly virulent form now. Dangerous, even, but not just physically. All of us probably remember either seeing or even being a party to bullying, even before we reached the relative sanity of high school or college, but there is a not-so-subtle difference. Young female students seem to be showing more aggressiveness toward each other, and now with the flourishing of social media, the ways that they can inflict harm have become more cruel, more public, than ever before.

Typically, when we think of bullying, the image of some poor kid being pushed around on the playground comes to mind, but girls as a cohort tend to bully each other in less physical ways, especially as they get older. Young girls are emerging into adulthood not only by growing in mental and physical maturity, but also by grappling with the all-important issues of body image, and it’s close cousin, self-esteem. They are more vulnerable and hence, susceptible, to all the messages that we and their peers are sending them about themselves every day. So it makes it incredibly easy for an insecure girl to hurt another girl’s feelings, to crush her already fragile self-confidence, especially when it comes to sexuality.

The teen world in many ways tries to mirror the gravitas of the adult world, and that can translate into damaging rumors being accepted as fact. Assaults on reputation, or character assassination, is one weapon which some girls may use, especially out of jealousy. Other common methods are ostracism and harassment, in the form of name-calling. These can work particularly well when used as a group, to gang up on their target. Although the threat to a girl of being bullied and harassed by a fellow male student is very real, most bullying of girls is perpetrated by other girls. Facebook-posted, texted, yelled, and whispered epithets like ‘slut,’ ‘bitch,’ and ‘whore’ can have long lasting effects on the psyche and future ability to form healthy relationships. And sadly, perhaps because many adults have either been subjected to this treatment, or they were perpetrators themselves, not enough has been done about it. Next week, we’ll take a look a some of the ways a girl can effectively fight back, from Facebook to in-person encounters, so that she can regain her power as an emerging woman.

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Anonymous’s Story: “She didn’t look back, but began running forward at that point”f

I was walking with a friend about 5 feet behind another woman who was walking alone. As she walked by two men, one of them began to walk with her and was leaning into her very closely, as if he was going to kiss her. She began walking much more quickly and as she moved ahead of him, he reached out to her and squeezed her butt. She didn’t look back, but began running forward at that point. My friend and I, seeing what had happened, also began running so that we wouldn’t have a similar encounter.

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