The exact words uttered by a woman trying to pick me up at the club
I’m Brazilian, and I experienced this many times. Two years ago, when I was 15, I was at an elementary school party and I was talking to some friends, when a guy (who I didn’t know) suddenly hold me and asked me for a kiss. I refused, but he held me closer, tried to kiss me and whispered disgusting words in my ear. I felt really bad, and the girls who were with me didn’t do anything. Luckly, my mother called me to tell me she was on her way to pick me up.
I had just left a bar with several male friends when they decided to stop by the food truck right outside. I didn’t want anything, so I hung back away from the line. Most of the crowd were men and I didn’t know anyone outside of my friend group. I stood firmly with my arms crossed at my chest, scowl on my face, wearing very modest clothing, while I waited for my friends. My unapproachable demeanor was intentional, and reserved for such scenarios.
I noticed two men coming up the wide sidewalk, decided I was not in the way of foot traffic, and continued to wait. They were walking together, until they got near me, where one guy walked right up to me, to the point his chest was touching me, as if to say “Move, you’re in my space.” I waited a few seconds in the obvious power play and eventually pivoted because it felt too aggressive. The other man he was with then grabbed my waist in a very familiar manner as if to set me aside, or grope me, I couldn’t tell which. Maybe both. I resisted the urge to punch them, though my fist was already balled and ready to go. I may have done it, had I not suspected they could inflict greater harm.
Three instances around the same area in Chelsea:
1. On my way to the mailbox before heading home-
Random Guy 1: Hey, I like your sunglasses!
RG1: Hey, can I ask you a question?
RG1: I’m having a party next weekend, do you want to come?
Me: Uh, no that’s okay, bye.
2. On my way to work at about 7:50 AM
RG 2 veers off his path and towards me: I wish every girl were as pretty as you. (he proceeds to make kissing sounds at me)
3. On my way to work at about 7:50 AM
RG 3: Hey sexy, hope you have a great day! (also makes kissing sounds at me)
Three completely different people with varying degrees of verbal interaction that made me uncomfortable.
Harassment is a frequent problem for runners. I occasionally announce to other men on the trail (because there aren’t as many women & they already know it anyway) that “The guy I just passed is creeping me out.” Today I was fortunate that one of the men near the trail was a uniformed police officer. The Creep said to me, “I’m going to take you in my arms. I’m coming to get you.” So hopefully the officer did something about this.
Visiting family in CA and they convinced me to tour Golden Gate park alone, immediately knew it was a bad idea when I got off the bus. As I wandered in, I accidentally made eye contact with a man walking with a group of friends. Sped up and looked straight ahead but he moved over to my side of the path, bent down and got a couple inches from my face to say “How you doing boo” before strutting off with his friends. Wanted to yell at him but he had a whole group and I was alone, and didn’t see many people nearby. Later that day I thought I would walk downtown to get some chocolate and virtually the same thing happened–creepy guy who just looked like he had something to prove makes eye contact a ways away, then approaches, gets right in my ear this time and says in the creepiest voice I can imagine “hey baby” as he walks past. At least that time there were more people around, but he walked by too fast for me to think of a response. Thinking if that same “technique” is used again I might loudly warn everyone to watch out for the “street harasser in [insert clothing here]” and point at him. Definitely a mild experience compared to most but really creeped me out how close they both got to my face.
I was walking to work this morning and found a run in my tights. My side of the street was fairly empty so I walked into an isolated area and took off my tights and saw this man (in his late 40s) continue to stare at me as he walked past. He did this multiple times until I asked “what are you staring at?” He stopped his walk, turned to me, and started aggressively gesturing towards me, angry that I had asked him why he was staring. I crossed the avenue and at the following intersection, saw that he was still staring and angrily gesturing and saying things to me, waiting for the light to change so he could accost me at the next intersection. I got so scared that I hailed a cab in the opposite direction of my job and ducked down in the seat until I arrived at my office and ran inside. This is my regular walking path to work and I am terrified of running into him or him following me.
I’ve actually been harassed way too many times, at one point (because it all started off when I was young 14) I just started to think it was the every day norm for a woman to be harassed, either verbally or physically. But now I understand that it isn’t something your supposed to be used to.
I spent my adolescent years being physically and verbally assaulted, from being molested, to having some stranger call me a slag. All unprovoked.
I’ve had men try and put their hands up my dress on a night out, to men pinning me up walls from behind and kissing my neck.
I’ve even had friends dads touching my breasts, but I was so scared during every encounter I’ve had with these men that I had never said anything, thinking that if I said anything than they would take it further.
I thought I should say something, as I’ve never really told anyone before. Only my partner, and it’s comforting being able go acknowledged that I am not alone. That it’s something that all woman must go through.
I was at rockfest in Kansas City and while me and one of my friends were listening to a band on the main stage these guys came up behind us. The crowd was really tight so everyone was packed together really close. One of the guys tried to start up a conversation but I shut him down and turned back to watching the music. A crowd surfer was coming toward us and fell just in front pushing me backward into him. All i could feel was his hand on my ass. I jumped forward and turned around, he apologized, smirking, and said that it had been an accident. I was definately feeling more uncomfortable but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I turned around and tried to enjoy the concert. the next thing I knew he was right behind me with his hand between my legs from behind. Now I have never been physically assaulted before so reaction is not my strong suit, but I turned around and shoved him as hard as a could. He was still smiling as I grabbed my friend and dragged her away. The worst part was probably her reaction. She acted like it was just another thing that happens at rock concerts when these guys get drunk. NO. I don’t care how much alcohol he had it does not give him the right to touch me. And it honestly makes me more sad that some women just accept it as a part of life.
I ran up to the corner store to grab a couple things. When I left the store it started raining a little bit so I was getting ready to start my jog home. As I left the corner store a man opened the door for me. So I thanked him for the kind gesture. I started to jog away when he shouted “Uh huh get it nice and wet for me!”