I was calmly, quietly waiting my turn at the takeaway counter for Moe Sushi at Crossways Subiaco. There was a long queue, but I wasn’t in any hurry at all.
Suddenly, without warning, a well-dressed, well-groomed lady in her 60s/70s comes up behind me and grabs my shoulder painfully hard from behind, and it still hurting several hours later; I may need physiotherapy treatment; I may have bruises tomorrow.
She clearly felt it was ok to do this because I am a wheelchair user.
It is NEVER ok to grab anyone, wheelchair user or not, unless there is an immediate safety issue.
“I want to get your attention to ask you intrusive questions” is not an immediate safety issue.
A man on the train patted me on the head like a dog because I use a powerwheelchair. Nearby bystanders did/said nothing.
So I work as a nightlife photographer and I really feel that I have to get a few things off my chest! My job involves me taking pictures of people having a good time, but often on a night I will have to deal with a few assholes! You would think a girl could get used to this sort of thing or just take things as a joke, and I do some of the time, but when you are constantly being chatted up or kissed on the cheek or whatever, it does get rather soul destroying. All I want to do is my job and carry on so I can pay bills! I am there to take photos, not hand out my number! Fair enough people are drunk but it gets so tiring, I am a photographer and an artist and not a piece of meat! Every night, it’s a constant battle, as someone would grab me from behind or try to kiss me or ask my number or pinch my bum or tell me that I would look hotter with dark hair, or ask me what I’m doing after work or give me compliments that may seem all well and good but they just make me feel uncomfortable! this constant sort of harassment from the many drunk men of Newcastle just makes me feel like an empty vessel, or like an object; like I have no soul and I’m just there for the entertainment! Why can’t people just have a normal conversation? I don’t mind normal conversations, in fact, that is a much more welcome social interaction! There are few times I have had to literally push people away because they got a bit close! I’m only 5-foot-3 but I think I’m a lot tougher than I look, although I’m always terrified that something will be taken the wrong way if I lash out.
I was just in here yesterday buying something when the guy in front of me made a comment about what I was buying. I ignored him and he then started verbally harassing me and saying he was just trying to show me his appreciation and that I obviously never got attention and clearly hadn’t responded how he wanted! It didn’t end there. He then left the shop and because I continued to not engage. He was huge and seemed to be losing control. He kept coming back into the shop to launch verbal tirade on me, and the staff did nothing. They said I was safe when I said I didn’t feel safe!
I was standing alone in the cue in front of Berghain. Behind me were two men who started to talk about how ugly and disgusting lesbians and especially trans guys are. How ridiculous it is to them that they bind their chest and that “women should look like “normal” women” and style themselves feminine. I`m a trans guy and it was quite obvious that they enjoyed talking like that behind me. I felt too tired, sad and exhausted to say something. After about 20 minutes of this kind of harrassment behind my back I decided to leave. I felt disappointed by myself, angry and sad that I wasn`t able to defend myself in that situation.
A man followed me across the road from my front door and blocked my path three times at the mouth of this cul de sac.
When I protested and objected, he said “Suck my cock” and fuck off you ugly dog”.
He has done other things, like look me up on Linkedin, leer at me and he put a card in my letterbox accusing me of lying after I reported him to police.
Estaba en el metro y un sexista patriarcal falocentrista capitalista transfobico me llamó por pronombres masculinos!!!
Today I was walking home, and I was about three houses away from my own. I heard footsteps approaching behind me, so I turned to see a boy, probably around 17 years old, jogging up behind me. I thought it was odd, but assumed I was being paranoid, so I turned back around, as I swung my backpack in front of me to get my keys out. Then, I felt him grab my behind, very forcefully. I swung my backpack around to hit him as he jogged to the other side of the street and screamed at him as loud as I could to get away from me. I repeated this again. He said something to me in Spanish at that point, and proceeded to the other side of the road where I think he walked/jogged quickly around the upcoming corner. I just wanted to be inside, so I ran up to my front door and inside. I’m so angry that this happened just outside of my home. I feel totally violated, and unsafe.
I was harassed by a man on the street on Tuesday night. I was unlocking my bike when a man came up to me.
This is the sequence of events as I remember it – it all happened pretty fast. He got uncomfortably close and mumbled “Are you black or white?” (it should have been obvious from looking at me – and I’m only so sure that’s what he said). I said a firm “Goodbye” to him 3 times, but he ignored and just stayed and mumbled. I told him to “F** off”. He grabbed my bike handles after I refused to engage with him. I told him to “F** off”. He yanked one of my brake cables off. Thankfully, 3 guys on the other side of the street say “Hey! Hey!” and started to cross. He darted and I biked away without looking back at him.
The whole incident was unsettling, but I left feeling more angry than scared.
When I got to the bike shop to fix my brake, I called 311 to report the incident. It was almost more stressful to talk to the lady on the phone and later to the police officer who got dispatched to me than it was to get harassed by a stranger because they had this whole attitude of “what do you want?” They didn’t seem to get that I didn’t want to prosecute this guy, I just wanted to get this incident documented because it happens to way too many women way too often. In surveys, over 90% of women report having been harassed in public places. Overall, I felt more ashamed for reporting a “harmless” incident than supported in my attempt to get it recorded.
I was taking the train home from work. A man came by and seemed to be selling train tickets. He spoke to me (his voice was very hard to understand) and I said no thanks and he moved along. He then circled back and asked if he could sit across from me. I said sure and tried to look busy. He wouldn’t stop talking to me even though my headphones were in and I tried several times to just ignore him. I reluctantly talked to him for a while while he asked me when my birthday was and if I had kids and I just wished he’d take a hint and leave. Then he asked if he could give me a kiss and before I knew it he stood up, leaned over and kissed my cheek. I tried to push him away and I said “no” several times in a loud voice but he didn’t care. He sat back down and kept talking to me while I sat, shaking. I was looking around, hoping someone had noticed but the train wasn’t very full and nobody saw. There was an older woman in the seat ahead of him (I try to sit near other women) but her headphones were in and she didn’t notice. The man kept talking to me and I pulled out my book and insisted that I just wanted to read. He kept talking, he touched my leg before I pulled it away, and eventually put his hand out for me to shake hands (he put it directly in my line of sight so there was no ignoring him) and I was so flustered I just took it. He said my hands were soft and that I was very pretty and he finally left. I spent the rest of the train ride shaking and nearly crying and hoping he wouldn’t follow me home. As soon as my stop arrived, I called my boyfriend so someone would be on the phone with me as I walked home. He was out of town so I spent the rest of the night alone and scared. I told him everything but it was so hard to explain how helpless I felt (he’s 6’1 and not easily intimidated). I keep replaying it in my head, knowing it could have been so much worse but still hating every second of it. I wish I had known how to react. I can’t believe I shook his hand afterwards. I’m somehow ashamed; I know it was mostly from shock and the fear of inciting anything worse, but still. The next day I didn’t have access to my car so I had to take the train again to work. I got a friend to drive me home in the evening so I could put off those feelings a little longer. Plus I don’t want him to figure out my schedule. My budget and lifestyle depend on public transportation. I’m hoping it gets better but I have a feeling it’s going to get worse.