I was standing alone in the cue in front of Berghain. Behind me were two men who started to talk about how ugly and disgusting lesbians and especially trans guys are. How ridiculous it is to them that they bind their chest and that “women should look like “normal” women” and style themselves feminine. I`m a trans guy and it was quite obvious that they enjoyed talking like that behind me. I felt too tired, sad and exhausted to say something. After about 20 minutes of this kind of harrassment behind my back I decided to leave. I felt disappointed by myself, angry and sad that I wasn`t able to defend myself in that situation.
A man followed me across the road from my front door and blocked my path three times at the mouth of this cul de sac.
When I protested and objected, he said “Suck my cock” and fuck off you ugly dog”.
He has done other things, like look me up on Linkedin, leer at me and he put a card in my letterbox accusing me of lying after I reported him to police.
Estaba en el metro y un sexista patriarcal falocentrista capitalista transfobico me llamó por pronombres masculinos!!!
Today I was walking home, and I was about three houses away from my own. I heard footsteps approaching behind me, so I turned to see a boy, probably around 17 years old, jogging up behind me. I thought it was odd, but assumed I was being paranoid, so I turned back around, as I swung my backpack in front of me to get my keys out. Then, I felt him grab my behind, very forcefully. I swung my backpack around to hit him as he jogged to the other side of the street and screamed at him as loud as I could to get away from me. I repeated this again. He said something to me in Spanish at that point, and proceeded to the other side of the road where I think he walked/jogged quickly around the upcoming corner. I just wanted to be inside, so I ran up to my front door and inside. I’m so angry that this happened just outside of my home. I feel totally violated, and unsafe.
I was harassed by a man on the street on Tuesday night. I was unlocking my bike when a man came up to me.
This is the sequence of events as I remember it – it all happened pretty fast. He got uncomfortably close and mumbled “Are you black or white?” (it should have been obvious from looking at me – and I’m only so sure that’s what he said). I said a firm “Goodbye” to him 3 times, but he ignored and just stayed and mumbled. I told him to “F** off”. He grabbed my bike handles after I refused to engage with him. I told him to “F** off”. He yanked one of my brake cables off. Thankfully, 3 guys on the other side of the street say “Hey! Hey!” and started to cross. He darted and I biked away without looking back at him.
The whole incident was unsettling, but I left feeling more angry than scared.
When I got to the bike shop to fix my brake, I called 311 to report the incident. It was almost more stressful to talk to the lady on the phone and later to the police officer who got dispatched to me than it was to get harassed by a stranger because they had this whole attitude of “what do you want?” They didn’t seem to get that I didn’t want to prosecute this guy, I just wanted to get this incident documented because it happens to way too many women way too often. In surveys, over 90% of women report having been harassed in public places. Overall, I felt more ashamed for reporting a “harmless” incident than supported in my attempt to get it recorded.
I was taking the train home from work. A man came by and seemed to be selling train tickets. He spoke to me (his voice was very hard to understand) and I said no thanks and he moved along. He then circled back and asked if he could sit across from me. I said sure and tried to look busy. He wouldn’t stop talking to me even though my headphones were in and I tried several times to just ignore him. I reluctantly talked to him for a while while he asked me when my birthday was and if I had kids and I just wished he’d take a hint and leave. Then he asked if he could give me a kiss and before I knew it he stood up, leaned over and kissed my cheek. I tried to push him away and I said “no” several times in a loud voice but he didn’t care. He sat back down and kept talking to me while I sat, shaking. I was looking around, hoping someone had noticed but the train wasn’t very full and nobody saw. There was an older woman in the seat ahead of him (I try to sit near other women) but her headphones were in and she didn’t notice. The man kept talking to me and I pulled out my book and insisted that I just wanted to read. He kept talking, he touched my leg before I pulled it away, and eventually put his hand out for me to shake hands (he put it directly in my line of sight so there was no ignoring him) and I was so flustered I just took it. He said my hands were soft and that I was very pretty and he finally left. I spent the rest of the train ride shaking and nearly crying and hoping he wouldn’t follow me home. As soon as my stop arrived, I called my boyfriend so someone would be on the phone with me as I walked home. He was out of town so I spent the rest of the night alone and scared. I told him everything but it was so hard to explain how helpless I felt (he’s 6’1 and not easily intimidated). I keep replaying it in my head, knowing it could have been so much worse but still hating every second of it. I wish I had known how to react. I can’t believe I shook his hand afterwards. I’m somehow ashamed; I know it was mostly from shock and the fear of inciting anything worse, but still. The next day I didn’t have access to my car so I had to take the train again to work. I got a friend to drive me home in the evening so I could put off those feelings a little longer. Plus I don’t want him to figure out my schedule. My budget and lifestyle depend on public transportation. I’m hoping it gets better but I have a feeling it’s going to get worse.
I was walking home from uni at around 2 pm in the afternoon, same thing i do everyday, when i passed by these two guys that stopped what they were talking about and one of them said to me “girl, you don’t know what I’d like to do with that ass of yours”.
I couldn’t help it so i turned back and looked at them with a “what the hell are you saying” face. My reaction was normal, but they thought it to be an attack so they decided to follow me to my house, and when i was getting inside, they shouted “now we know where you live”.
They had to be around 16 years old and I am 22, so their effort to threaten me just made me laugh, which offended them so of course they called me in the same sentence a PRUDE AND SLUT.
There were more people in the street, they were watching the scene and they didn’t even make a sound.
What pisses me off it is not that they insulted and followed me or comment about my ass; what bothers me is that their behavior has been normalized and socially accepted. In fact, at least in Spain, many men don’t even see that as an attack to women as a collective.
This is why we need feminism. Having a dick doesn’t legitimize a man to have an unwanted opinion on a woman’s body. Catcalling is harassment, not complimenting. Even if it was complimenting…we don’t need men’s approval on how we dress or look. We don’t need any man’s opinion on how hot or fat we are; in fact, we don’t need any man’s opinion on anything we do, unless we ask for it.
Thanks for reading and hi from Spain to all women out there fighting for equality 🙂
This happened to me years ago but I still cannot shake it. I was at a club with some friends and dancing when this guy just came up to me like he wanted to dance. I ignored him. Moments later, he proceeded to stick his hand straight up under my shirt, under my bra, and felt my bare breast. I was so shocked that it took me a moment to even realize what was going on. I backed away and yelled at him
(the music was loud so I don’t even know if he heard.) I wish I would have told someone and made a big scene and really called him out, but I was just so shocked! It was like it happened in slow motion. My friends even missed it and I never told them about it. In fact, to this day I never told anyone about it, but I think of it often.
Over the past few year’s I have experienced endless amounts of harassment, from little boys years younger than me grabbing my ass and a man twice my age forcing himself on me in broad daylight – not to mention constant whistles and animal sounds “Hey baby””Hey sexy””Smile love”…
However, nothing has every upset me so much, as an incident that happened last Christmas while I was at home in Ireland for a few days.
I was standing at an ATM taking out money at 10 at night when my friends stood ten feet away waiting on me.
Out of nowhere these two grown men come up behind me and begin making these aggressive whispers in my ear ……
“Holy Fuck what I wouldn’t love to do to that”…”Look at the fucking hole on that”…”Jesus Crist, and those tits look at those fucking tits” …. At this point, I was so overwhelmed and almost couldn’t believe it was happening. I turned around and one of them looked me straight in the face and said “I’d love to get fuckin stuck into you”
More than anything I was so so angry that they though they have the right to speak to someone in such a horrific way.In the end I told him to Fuck off and that they were both absolutely discussing, and there is no way they will ever get a woman speaking like that to women.
As someone who has been taking public transport / works as a cashier, and is in public a lot, I’ve dealt with cat calling and being bothered by strangers for awhile now. I get the usual honking, unsolicited compliments, long-winded conversations, begging for a phone number, and occasionally an ask for sexual favors. Yesterday though it reached a level I really didn’t expect and I’m still in shock over it.
I was sitting on the bus and there was a man who had been drinking (he was acting drunk and had a bottle of beer in hand), sitting across from me. There were three other people nearby me. I ignored him but as he continued to get louder and talked to other people on the bus, I snapped a few pictures of him (I think as a precaution, although I was likely just going to delete them later). At one point he tried to talk to me and he said, “Go to Hollywood and become a movie star.” Eventually, one of my ex friends boarded the bus (we’ll call him Josh), and Josh came and sat across from me. Although we are ex friends, Josh and I are still friendly and on talking terms. So I tapped Josh’s leg with my foot and whispered for him to sit next to me, although I thought I was being kind of silly/paranoid at the time. He obliged and sat next to me.
At one point this drunk person turned to me and said “you’re sexy”. I gave him polite eye contact but said nothing, and then looked away. He stood up and moved to another part of the bus. I made small talk with Josh, starting to feel a little safer, before this man came back. He approached me directly, wrapped his arms around my neck/shoulders, and kissed the top of my head. He then let go and looked to Josh as if non-verbally proving his masculinity to him (or from what Josh told me, I didn’t see this happen myself because my face was in the drunk guy’s chest).
He moved to a different part of the bus again and Josh put an arm around me trying to comfort me, and told me that if the guy approaches again he’ll do something. I was mostly in shock and couldn’t speak. Nobody on the bus did anything. The drunk guy eventually got off the bus and the story pretty much ends here.
I’m still in shock as this happened last night and I don’t know what a proper response or reaction to this is. I don’t even know if this counts as harassment or what. But there you go. I think because of this and many other instances women just can’t feel safe in public. While I do have his picture I am not sure if I will be sharing it for privacy’s sake. But I guess my initial paranoia wasn’t unreasonable.