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My girlfriend and I were just walking through the front doors of our apartment building, when some red-faced guy just barked out: LESBIAN! I turned back to glare at him and he just sneered. He added: I guess I’m jealous! I hate that our orientation defines how people view us and that so many guys see lesbians through the same scope; mere sex objects.
Stopped into a pub for a nightcap and some food after attending a fun lecture elsewhere. I used to feel safe at this neighborhood pub but things have changed. I sat at the far end of the bar where there are no gambling machines and drank my wine. Drunk guy comes over from mid bar to tell me “how pretty I am”. “Thank you. I have a boyfriend”. He leaves for a minute but comes back protesting to his friend “how pretty I am”. Clearly not caring that I don’t wish to talk to him at all! “please leave me alone” I say and I get up and go to the bathroom – hoping he will go sit down and leave me alone. After spending extra time in the bathroom I come back out. He’s still there! The random guy next to me tells him to leave me alone. I ask for my check and prepare to leave. He keeps trying to talk to me. After having asked three times and being frustrated I took my purse and hit him in the head with it. :). It worked! Everyone laughed at him which made him leave! I will use that move again. Wanted to share.
I was at Zaxby’s and my grandmother went in to get some food for my uncle, while I was waiting in the car with my grandfather, he catcalled three girl who were walking into the restaurant.
I live in Tokyo, an generally the worst thin that happens is getting your butt touched by some creepy on the subway at rush hour. It isn’t fun, but you learn to wear big heels and crush business men’s feet. Or, they will just open their wallets and ask you how much.
But the most problems you will ever get are from other foreigners. For some reason, they act like complete assholes. It scares a lot of japanese people, too, but I am from New York so when someone says something to me, I am not just going to go down without a fight. I have screamed and one one occasion smacked a man who grabbed my ass while walking by in Shinjuku.
I got out of a live at 10pm and went to grab something to drink from Starbucks, as I had just spent 5 hours at a rock concert getting the crap kicked out of me. I was wearing my usual concert gear and had gotten some rather awful stares, so I was already on edge.
As I walk up to the Starbucks, this foreign guy in a suit comes up and slides his hand along my side and says “hello”. I brush him off and, shaking, go into the store.
The sweet boy at the register gets my drink and compliments my hair, and I felt a little more human rather than a piece of meat.
I go back outside with my coffee and go to walk away and here is this guy, who once again tries to cop a feel. So, I throw my coffee on him and start screaming in English, which causes quite a commotion. The guy bolts, a bunch of Japanese people are staring at me like I have completely lost my shit (and I all truth, I had) and my hands are covered in cold coffee..
I went back into the store. The sweet boy behind the counter saw what happened and he gave me some napkins and got me a new drink, for free.
Sometimes, you really just have to throw something at them to get them to leave you be. I don’t think he will be bothering anyone for a while. I hope everyone stared at him the entire way home as he had to sit in his sticky, wet suit.
I was in the Albertson’s grocery store by myself in the middle of the day when I noticed one employee trailing me. I turned on to another aisle and saw him meet up with other employees and they all began catcalling, making weird little sounds while blatantly staring at me. I was trying to find the items I needed so that I could get out of there, and they began commenting on how I must like it since I was staying there and taking it.
I expressed my frustration on a message board that local people post on, and although there were a surprising number of men who tried to shame me for getting harassed, the response was mostly supportive. I feel that people who do this are just bullies, because this only happens to me when I am by myself.
It’s annoying enough when a man stares at you like he is trying to see through your clothes, but when that man is an uniformed officer, it almost feels worse. Aren’t you supposed to help me feel safe?
Group of boys shouting names and saying things like “oh I like your shorts” in a threatening manner
This dude on a bike who I didn’t know kept following me and saying he liked me. Ugggghhhhh. I felt creeped out enough to get my self defense keychain out.
I live in a block of units next to what seems to be an elderly couple, and more than a handful of times, I have noticed both the husband and wife have peered into my window to look at me, whether it be while I’m on the phone, to undressing.
My housemate decided to put a sign on my window saying “STOP LOOKING AT ME” when he noticed I was getting quite anxious about going into my room (even after closing my curtains, there’s still a small gap you can see through).
We got a call from the real estate, saying he complained about the sign (which proves my point that he’s been looking into my window), and said that if we don’t remove it, he will put a more vulgar, abusive sign as retaliation, so we removed the sign. I had to then explain to my real estate agent what happened, and all she said in response was empathetic, because she admitted her neighbour stalked her once, but she said “they probably have nothing better to do with their time”.
I used to be really into running but don’t do so as much any more- over the years I have had countless incidents of whistles, shouted comments about my body and yells from cars going past when I’m just trying to exercise.
Anyway one particular incident happened in my small village when I was fifteen, I’m eighteen now.
I had just finished a run and decided to check out the Abbey in my village before heading home- the entrance to which is manned by an older gentleman. As I walked in I called into his little shed if it was okay for me to go in, just in case I needed to pay. He could have just said “yes” from where he was but he walked out, looked me up and down very obviously and commented “looking like that sweetheart, you can go anywhere you want” and stared at my chest openly. I was sweaty, tired and only fifteen years old and was totally shocked and embarrassed- also acutely aware that though I was not isolated (a few steps would bring me back onto the street) I felt very intimidated and threatened. I think it was very clear that I was not even the age of consent, not that it would make it justifiable, whilst he was at least sixty and I didn’t let him away with it. He got introduced to my middle finger and told his comments were not welcome but I was very shaken by it and ran home fast. Think I started running at about thirteen and even then I got toots from cars and yells which unsettled me, especially due to my age and that where I live is mostly country lanes I run down on my own.