Stepped onto the bus after the gym and there were no seats so I was standing. I noticed an older man staring at me almost immediately. Specifically my legs and pubic area (I was in my running tights). I thought it was a fleeting glance but he continued to stare for the rest of the bus journey. It made me extremely uncomfortable and angry. So I gave him the “tight-lipped-eyebrow-raised-staring into your soul-wtf are you looking at?” face and he just smiled at me only slightly embarrassed. I did not engage further with him but tried to find a place away from his gaze. He exited the bus but stayed and stared through the window until the bus drove away. I was not scared but I didn’t say anything. I feel that I should have. However I’m in a country where I don’t speak the language and it would have been useless anyway. I let him know that I disapproved of his staring by staring right back at him.
I’ve had a hard day. I came to your site to share my story, just one from today. When I started to fill out your submission form, I started to cry. Unsure of which box to check under “Harassment type”, I realized that I would have to make sharing my stories of harassment a full time job if I actually wanted to share my stories that have sadly become part of my life. The countless times I’ve been shouted at on the street. The several jobs that I have either been forced to quit, fired from, or kept from because a “man” can’t keep his thoughts to himself. The nights that I drove home crying from my server job because the door guy couldn’t keep his hands off of me. I just turned 37 and it doesn’t seem to end. It feels just as bad now, as it did to be harassed when I was younger. It has to stop.
I’m a college student working at a restaurant down in South Beach Miami. Today this rich asshole comes in his Lamborghini. Once he was seated, while my female coworker was trying to take his order, he said “Can I stare at your breasts?” (He actually said that) Obviously she looked shocked at then he proceeded to shove his face right into her breasts. WTF? She started yelling at him and my boss came over and asked what was going on. She told him what happened the rich guy accused her of lying. I went over to the table and told my boss that I saw what happened and to call the cops. And this prick sided with the rich guy. Everyone else there saw what happened, I don’t know why no one else was stepping up. My boss didn’t charge him for his food and took the money for his food off of our paychecks (me and the female coworker). Fucking ridiculous.
I was 12 years old still in 6th grade. It was the end of the day, I went back to my locker and my idiot locker neighbor comes up to me and with his friend and shows me his erection. His friend starts to laugh and he laughs with him as I slowly realized what was happening. He asked me if I was “turned on” and said that he would pay me $25 if I let him touch my breast. It was AWFUL!!!!! I felt like throwing up!!!! I went back to school the next day and he called my “Ho” and “baby girl”. I finally had the courage to tell my principal what happened. She pulled up security footage of what happened and he got ATS (detention) and suspended for 3 days. They also moved my locker. I had nothing to worry about. Telling an adult is the right thing to do it completely helped my situation!!!!!! Don’t be afraid!!!!!
I work close to this location and I have to walk across a bridge to get to my job from where I park my car. About a month ago I was walking and a man was walking towards me and he had an old style flip phone held up to his chest really tightly kind of pointed outward. I almost didn’t notice it until we were parallel to each other and I heard a camera shutter sound. I was immediately like no, he didn’t take a picture of me. I’m just being paranoid or something. In my heart I knew he had. It was weird but I’d never seen him before so I thought I never would again. That was until today. Again I was walking across the bridge listening to music and I saw a man walking in the opposite direction I was. It did register who he was or anything. Until he was holding the phone out from his chest to take pictures. I became so angry and I tried to hide, tried to disappear into myself. I was so angry that I was trying to hide- I shouldn’t have to hide! I started screaming at him. I screamed what he was doing was wrong. And I think I swore at him. I wasn’t really in control of what was coming out of my mouth. He just walked away faster. Now I’m left feeling so dirty and violated. I told my friend and her response was oh he must really like you! Like its a joke. Like I should enjoy that he took pictures of me and is doing what with them?!? I don’t know what to do now. If I see him again. I don’t want to get hurt if he reacts violently. But I really don’t want him taking my picture like that! It’s maddening that he wouldn’t even think this is appropriate!
I was walking home from a friends house, I was 15. A car pulled up alongside me and a middle-aged man got out and said ‘Hey, can I touch you for a few minutes?’ I stopped and looked at him, and kept walking, completely ignoring him until I saw him drive away. Later on the same walk two men (teenagers? Maybe 20?) started following me and yelling ‘hey baby, come here.’ I ignored both of them, too, and they got angry and started yelling ‘what are you deaf? get over here.’ Luckily there was a fence between us and they gave up after following me for a couple of blocks. These are just two of the many, many times I’ve been harassed.
As I approached my bus stop and waited for my bus to work, two incidents of sexual harassment occurred within seconds of each other. First, a group of young men in a car, waiting in traffic beside the bus stop, waved, smirked, and shouted at me. Then, as I reached the bus stop, an older man who was also waiting at the stop approached me. We were the only two people around, but the stop is beside a high traffic road and it was in broad daylight. The older man, a stranger, began a conversation with me that started out innocently enough as we talked about the weather. He then told me that I looked very nice and I was very well dressed, and asked if I was a model. He kept telling me how great I looked and that I should be a model, and when the bus finally arrived at our stop he said he felt flattered and honored to be riding the bus with a model. He also asked questions about my personal life, how old I was, where I work, etc. I did begin to feel uncomfortable, because we were the only people around the bus stop and I could not leave because I needed to use the bus to get to work on time.
I had know him since I was baby his wife was my mums best friend, he was my fathers. I had just turned 16 he was 54 I was working for him, he owned a small spray painting business, it was only ever me and him there.
At the begging everything was fine we were just getting work done, but after a couple of shifts he would stand really close to me and put his hand on my bum, when ever he stood next to me or talked to me he would always be touching me. I just brushed it off as just friendly affection since I had know him all my life. I told my mum thought just for precaution. The next shift he kept on talking about if how I ever got chemicals on me I would have to remove all my cloths and he would have to wash it off me. I found that creepy. The next shift I had to work I sat on paint thinners that were on the seat I only sit on and which he told me to sit on. It was burning my skin but I was to scared to tell him so I just dealt with it. He asked me to help him paint somthing, he looked at me and said I was about to do somthing inappropriate I just laughed, it’s what I do when I’m uncomfortable, he placed the hose witch vibrates between my legs so it was against my vagina, I just laughed. He then continually made jokes about it “don’t have to much fun with that” “I know when you do that you are having way to much fun at work” I had never been so uncomfortable in my life. I went home and told my mum everything and that no matter what I was not going back. She wanted to take it to the police and talk to his wife about it but I made her swear to serequcy I don’t like dealing with things so the less drama we let it cause the easier it would be for me. I hate myself for just laughing but I just didn’t know what else to do. I’m still 16 and I still think about it all the time.
There is a man who works as a cleaner in my apartment block. Since I moved here, I’ve had a couple of interactions with him; held the door open for him a couple of times, greeted him when I saw him, helped him pick up a load of paper after somebody had trashed the complex’s lobby. Basically, I treated him with basic decency. Not excessive kindness or flirtation; just basic decency. When I took the lift the other day to the ground floor, I saw he was in there and greeted him briefly. As the door closed, he began stroking my arm, and told me that there was a girl who looked very like me in a shop he goes to. He then started touching the ‘beauty spot’ (mole tbh) above my lip with his thumb, and said that she had that too. He was standing very close to me, and as we were in a lift, I was pretty scared. I am on the 10th floor in my apartment block, but have taken the stairs ever since.
One day I was waiting in the bus stop that I usually waited at and while I was waiting I was standing in front of a shop. A man that I did not know kept on staring at me. At first I thought he wanted to go to the shop so I moved but then he still kept staring at me and moved closer to me , at that point I was getting really scared he was not smiling or anything like that just looking at me constantly. The clothes I was wearing were not revealing just some jeans and a long sleeve shirt with a jacket over. I did not know what to do I just walked away and he started stalking me when i noticed this I ran and didn’t stop until he was out of sight and walked all the way home.