Story, Verbal

Elise’s Story: Not an ice queen

I just started to school in Honolulu, and I was sitting outside of a coffee shop near Waikiki doing my homework and minding my own business. Being that Waikiki is a huge tourist spot, I saw a ton of people come and go. Only one person decided to bother me in the three hours I sat there: he was probably twice my age, and was super greasy. He sing-sang as he danced around my table, “I’m single, looking for a girlfriend.” I gave him the coldest glare I could and replied, “I’m single, and I’m not looking. Get lost.” He proceeded to act all offended and told me he “didn’t appreciate my attitude, sugar.” Thankfully after that, he left me alone.

I called my mom immediately afterward, and she called me “the Ice Queen.” My aunt added in that I “shouldn’t have made rudeness my first reaction,” and that if I didn’t want the attention I shouldn’t have been doing my homework at a coffee shop. I don’t know which is more humiliating, the fact that I was treated like an object by the stranger, or that my own family thought that I was the one in the wrong by shutting him down.

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39+

3 comments 
homophobic, Story, Verbal

Noelle’s Story: Drive by harasser

I was crossing the street in the crosswalk when a car revved up behind me and yelled “Fucking dyke!” out the window as it sped by, narrowly missing me.

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14+

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Story, Verbal

Ella’s Story: “I wish it was just one story”

Well I wish it was just one story… I’m finally fed up after incidents every day for the past THREE days. I finally posted a Facebook status and my cousin sent me here, so hooray for this site!

First one I was leaving work late in Soho in London with a scarf wrapped around me. A guy in his 20s said, “excuse me, are your Russian?”. While walking I said, “No, Canadian.” Kept walking. He continued to engage me even though I was clearly in post-work dress (not that what you wear matters!). He kept holding my hand for what was supposed to be a handshake. Finally when I let go and cut off what he was saying with a curt “bye” he called me a bitch. Awesome.

Second one, I was walking home from the bus stop by my flat and one guy in a group of 5 on a terrace gave a “Hi sweetheart, do you have a boyfriend?” type thing. I carry a knife in my pocket for that walk and I so desperately wanted to call back, but fear still overtook me. It was dark and I was outnumbered and alone – I stayed quiet.

Thirdly was last night, and I was walking from the Thames to Trafalgar Square after playing a gig. I was carrying my guitar on my back and holding my metal stand (which, in my mind, I could wield at any moment as defence on a Saturday night). A group of guys passed me and tried to engage me. THREE TIMES, I thought. I cannot catch a f*%king break! Verbally, this came out as a loud, “Come on, really?!”.

The feelings are so sickening. Feelings of harassment, which one tries to counteract with a quick retort, but that feeling being stifled by the reality of: I. Am. Not. Safe. I just want to feel safe. I’ve considered self-defence classes. I’ve gone over and over what I wish I could say if I had more courage. I’m sick of being played with. I am not a f#%king stray cat. I am a person.

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8+

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Story

Kris’ story: First encounter with street harassment

Hello I am 16 years old. I was walking with my best friend Leah around the street. In Oakdale Minnesota, we were totally chill sipping our smoothies when this guy honks at us. We laughed and were like gross! He wasn’t even attractive. Then we were walking and we saw a few men stare at us in their cars. And then as if that’s not enough some guy in a pick up truck rolls down the window and screams: “Hey! I LIKE your dress & your Shirt!” I mean this could of totally been innocent but I didn’t feel like it. Especially with the earlier harassment I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I clung to my friends arm and stated “Omigosh! Scary this is my first harassment/compliment this never happens to me.” She then said “well Kris this happens to me all the time.” I was like what! “You shouldn’t have to feel or think that it always happens to you. You should not be used to this.” It’s disappointing; why women can’t just look beautiful or hot without cat-calling and pure harassment?

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+

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Story, Verbal

Erin’s Story: “Everyone will also do this if you are a female in public”

Today I volunteered my time to help transport the elderly and disabled to and from the UW husky stadium and the parking lot. To transport, we used carts with about 7 seats and had certain pick up locations to pick up our passengers.

I had a great learning experience and here’s why:

1. I learned that if you ever want to be harassed and doubted about your driving skills, simply sit in a parked cart and be female. Sit in this parked cart while being female at a husky game and you will get to have multiple men question why you’re in there.

2. I learned that the whistles management gave us in lieu of the horn that’s missing from our cart should only be used by men unless you want other men to chant “blow harder” after using one.

3. I learned that when traffic directors stop you, they’re not stopping you to tell you where to go, they’re stopping you to tell you, “damn, you look fine.” Every. Single. Time you pass by.

- everyone else will also do this if you are a female in public.

4. I learned that i should never simply walk through a crowd as someone (most likely man) is most likely to grab some body part as i walk by.

5. I learned that saying no to someone several times does not actually mean “no”. It’s actually just a word females sometimes say to make noises and doesn’t actually mean anything at all apparently.

Lastly, i learned that if ever i want to feel the rage of a thousand suns, i should be a female at a husky game.

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8+

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Story

Caitlin’s Story: “Like a fake out punch”

I was walking through busy Main street. This kid ( I can only describe him as a kid he was probably in his late teens or early twenties) was coming in the opposite direction. We were trying to move out of eachother’s way..all of a sudden he throws his fist up near my face as if to try to scare me. Like a fake out punch. A complete douchebag. I wish I said something more than “seriously?” He didn’t even notice how I responded.

I can’t believe some people feel so entitled in this world that they feel they can act however they want and treat people however they want without any regards to peoples feelings. I hope this kid gets a lesson learning…really soon.

I've got your back!
7+

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groping, Story

Debra’s Story: Standup bystander

Today a man took advantage of a crowded MUNI streetcar to grope a young woman. She was able to move away from him, and spent the rest of the trip separated from her friends in the back. I saw what happened and asked if she was ok (she looked shaken, but nodded yeah). I told him that he couldn’t treat women like that but he pretended not to hear me. So I took his picture and am sharing it now so others can look out for this predator.

I've got your back!
8+

one comment 
groping, Story, Verbal

nikky’s Story: Bystander fail on the elevator

i was on my way to class and i was already in a cruddy mood because i was late and my humanities professor could be really snotty especially if you were late to her class i was on the elevator to the second floor where my class was located and there were two 40 something year old guys on the elevator and i remember already feeling an uncomfortable vibe so i was relieved to get off when one of them addressed me with ” hey sweetie you’re on the wrong floor” and i was confused until he grabbed me by the wrist and said “just kidding i wanted to holler at you do you have a man ?”

i wasn’t in the mood for some guy old enough to be my dad grabbing on me so i said the first thing i could think of and i told him i was in a relationship then i ran off as fast as i could and you would have thought it would of ended there but the other guy followed me and started on about how i “didn’t have to be a snobby bitch and blow his friend off” but the most upsetting part was there was a lot of people around when this exchange happened but no one stepped in

I've got your back!
10+

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Story, Verbal

Meg’s Story: “No one should put up with street harassment”

I was walking home this morning from running errands downtown when a man walked up to me while waiting at an intersection. He proceeded to blatantly lick his lips and look me up and down numerous times. I briefly glared at him then proceeded to ignore and avoid eye contact with him. He then continued to stare at me and speak to me in Spanish. He continued to follow me down the street walking right next to me, blatantly checking me out and saying things I couldn’t understand and laughing to himself. Walking as fast as I could, I could not get away from him. Finally, when I could make out that he was asking if I was going to the library, (which was just ahead), I said, “Are you talking to me?!” to which he replied with something in Spanish. “I don’t speak Spanish!” to which he just laughed and continued to give lewd looks. Finally I was able to walk quickly away from him! I’m used to street harassment and can’t stand it. I generally just avoid eye contact and speak up when I need to. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and violated. Plus the fact he continued to walk with me and be so blatantly inappropriate made me feel scared! No one should put up with street harassment—we are not things to be gawked at!

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5+

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public masturbation, Story

Brooklynn’s Story: “Well it was a big deal to me”

First off I’d like to state that slapping a boy who slapped my butt in high school was my only prior public incident prior to this.

So I’m in a waiting room of my daughter’s counselor’s office. I’m on my cell and I look up and their is a guy sitting on the other side, staring at me intently. I look down and he is jerking off-in public-FULL ON. This guy is stroking himself so hard and looking at him in the eyes made me enraged because he didn’t stop. He liked that I noticed it. I told my brother that I had to get off the phone. There was a receptionist that I was facing who could not see what this guy was doing. So I go to this male receptionist to complain about what this guy was doing and he acted like I was complaining about my coffee. He never moved, never did anything, nothing. As I’m complaining the sicko zips up and steps out of waiting room. Well I kept getting angrier and angrier that I was dismissed. As I’m up front, sicko comes back in and not only pretends like he just walked in but he walks in and SPEAKS TO ME! I SNAPPED!

I mean I flipped out yelling and cursing and told the security guard to call the cops for me not him. They shut the building down and all of the counselors came up front. They locked all doors. The sicko and I arguing and he denies every doing this. The cops come, and I end up in tears making my report. Then I’m told by the counseling place that they are banning him from the place. The guy is arrested. I am told to go 30 minutes away to press charges. I go and spend all night there just to find out that the cop could have done it but was too lazy. It took 3 court appearances for him finally to get sentenced to probation. They couldn’t keep the ban because he had to get treated there. I agreed to testify and miss work, and keep paying for court parking to try to prevent this creep from doing this again. All I got was no one listening and missed work. To top it all off my female boss’s response when I told her why I was heading to court was “So, haven’t you ever had that happen to you in NYC? Every woman goes through it. No big deal.” Well it was a big deal to me.

And I resent the fact that I can’t walk down the street, in heels, dressed for work or, in jeans and a t-shirt running to the store without some jerk feeling like he has the right to touch me or say something sexual towards me.

I've got your back!
5+

no comments 
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