Stalking, Verbal

"Animal control? Yes, hi, I have a stray pervert following me."

I have no picture, because this happened to me back in the nineties. I lived in Ecuador and the harrassment was an everpresent part of my life. So many things happened, and my policy was to be angry and let them have it. This one time, though, this little man was following behind me closely, muttering disgusting things. I yelled, I tried to act intimidating, but he would not stop. Then I noticed that we were alone-it was the middle of the day, and the businesses were closed. So I made a plan. I pretended to give up, and I walked a few blocks, with him muttering the whole way, always trying to get closer. I walked right to a walkway full of people, and when we were in the middle, I yelled “pervert, leave me alone!” at the top of my lungs. He froze, and I saw his eyes darting around in panic. Right before he ran off, he looked at me and I smirked.

Submitted by Ellen

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Stalking, Verbal

Fighting for the right to wear a (work-appropriate) dress, one stalker at a time

Yesterday, I decided to wear a dress. The weather was beautiful and I was going to see Sandra Day O’Connor speak after work. Last night around 5:30 I was walking to the 175th St station on the A train when this man came up next to me and started walking along side me. I had my ipod on, but the volume was low enough that I could hear him saying that he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to talk to me. I ignored him, tried to walk fast, but he kept along my side. When I realized I couldn’t walk faster, I stopped and let him keep going, getting a safe distance between us. However, when I got to the subway turnstiles, he was waiting for me. Again he told me I was beautiful and whatever and I yelled “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” He called me a bitch and followed me on to the platform. I tried to stay close to groups of people and slowly sneak farther down the platform, but he kept following. When the train finally came, i ran down to another car, but he followed me again. As we approached 145th St, he walked down to where I was sitting and started staring at me. I had my cell phone out and started taking his picture. He saw me doing it, but didn’t try to hide. He exited the train at 145th, mumbling on his way out, and I finally felt relieved. Checked the photos I took and started taking notes of everything that happened.

I ran to the closest ticket booth when I got off the A at 42nd. I didn’t see the creep anywhere but I wanted to report what happened to the police. The station agent wasn’t helpful at first. She told me to wander around to find a police officer and didn’t make the call until I yelled that I wasn’t going anywhere until a police officer arrived. As I waited for the police, the creep came up to me. He was maybe 5 feet away, but he hid behind a column so the station agent couldn’t see him. He had taken off his t shirt and was just wearing a black tank top. Told me he was sorry, that he wanted to apologize, that he just wanted to talk to me but I was a bitch and an asshole and wouldn’t talk to him. He left after about a minute, and less than a minute later the police arrived.

Both officers were very good. They listened to me, they looked at the pictures, one of them did a sweep of the area, and when they couldn’t locate him they took me to their base and took my complaint. I made sure to mention to them that I am an attorney, so that may have had something to do with the excellent treatment I received. When they were done taking my statement, one of the officers escorted me to my transfer. I’m currently waiting for the detective to call. I’m really scared that I’m going to run into him again tonight.

On my way home last night, another man approached me in Times Square station. He said “Nice” as I walked past him and then he followed me to the platform. When he tried to talk to me and tell me he thought I was beautiful, I screamed and waved my arms and told him to get the fuck away. There were so many people and police around that he ran off. I didn’t make another complaint, but it scared the shit out of me.

I know that I’m not to blame. I’m proud that I had the wherewithall to remain calm, to take pictures, to make a complaint to the police. I know that I have the right to wear a modest, work appropriate dress and heels, and have my hair looking nice and wear lipstick and not be bothered by creeps. But today I dressed pretty frumpy and I don’t know if I’ll wear that dress again anytime soon.

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Stalking, Verbal

Summertime Stalker

It was a hot and sticky day and my best friend couldn’t get out of the house so I decided to go to her house and chill. I’m about a block away from her house when I notice a car driving alongside of me. I look over, and there is a man with sunglasses on flashing a huge smile. Now, I’m already on the defensive because his approach is so creepy. So now he has my attention.

I stopped walking and asked him why he was following me. He says “I just want to tell you how beautiful you are”. So I thank him for the compliment and resume walking. But he didn’t stop following me. He then asks me for my name. I didn’t answer. At this point I’m turning the block and I realize he is also. I start to speed walk because I am getting a little frightened and I don’t know what he is trying to pull. This is where it gets aggressive. The man puts his car in park, gets out of the car, and says loudly “I JUST WANTED TO KNOW YOUR NAME!”.

Submitted by Mahasiah

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Stalking

Christmas Eve Stalker


Around 4 AM on the 24th– Christmas Eve– I was coming home from a holiday party in Bay Ridge. I took the N train from 59th st to Union Square. He kept staring at me on the train; he followed me out of the 15th street exit, and 5 blocks down 15th street towards 1st avenue. I kept walking faster and faster; I could hear him panting. He must have been less than two feet away from me. I didn’t know what to do, I heard him fiddling with his keys so I didn’t know if he was armed. I ran across the crosswalk at 15th and 2nd Ave., and he was running after me. I half-ran all the way to my dorm, about to dial 911. When I caught the attention of the security guards there, he ran away. He even managed to say “good night!” before disappearing. Why he followed me from Bay Ridge to the East Village I don’t know, but look out for this creeper!

All I want for Christmas is a gun.

Submitted by Suzanne

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homophobic, Nonverbal Harassment, racial discrimination, Stalking, Verbal

(Bisexual) Men get Harassed, too.

I am a Bisexual Asian male who has experienced extreme harassment. My neighbor, the elderly man next door– Slandered, harassed and sexually harassed me for 2 years since I moved here from California. At first, when I got here, I was really thin and looked like a girl to most people. He told me he wanted to give me a sex change operation and rape me. For the next several months he slandered me, spread rumors I was a rapist, sex offender, child molester and people called me that in the neighborhood and on the train a few times. He was angry that I was a guy and not a girl and that I was making him gay. When I joined meetup.com and come home late at night, he would wait in front of my house every night ‘til I stop going. I saw him half naked filming me twice from his 3rd floor window a few months ago when I opened my blinds in the morning and I dare not to open my blinds in the morning anymore. People gossiped about seeing videos of me naked or me sleeping, etc in my bedroom on some pervert website. I overheard people talking in Chinatown and on the set of Fordham University during my filming of the “adjustment bureau” a Matt Damon movie where I worked as an extra.

Recently, He and his friends were yelling they want to castrate me, rape me. They called me a queer, fag and chink 2 weeks ago outside my house, heckling me.

I am a victim of racism and sexual harassment. I filed a harassment report by calling 911 on December 10, 2009 Thursday around 9:45PM when 2 female police officers drove to my house and alerted me to come outside to talk to them. The two female police officers is a female Black woman and a Spanish woman. I was told to call 718-627-6611 for Precinct 61 for the status of my complaint. I called again on December 15, 2009 and the officer who answered the phone said the complaint is closed and is on record and no arrests was made because my neighbor harassed me but didn’t assault me. I wrote to NBC news but to no avail. I don’t know who to turn to for help. I am a victim of sexual harassment and video voyeurism and slander and I think he is trying to get me killed because I look feminine and because of my sexual orientation. If this happened to a woman he work be arrested by now, but I am a guy, a bisexual guy and no one cares. I want the harassment to stop.

Submitted by Michael

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Stalking, Verbal

No Such Thing as a Safe Commute in this City

Just want to share my recent episode of street harassment there are so many to share. I was walking down the street (of course) and a gypsy taxi driver ask me if I needed a taxi. I said no thank you. Of course he took this opportunity to make a slick remark about how sexy I was to him. I ignored like I didn’t here anything.

Then I went into the store. He watch for me to come out. and I purposely avoided going back in his direction. he then started yell things like “sexy” and then he yelled “champion” I kept walking like I didn’t hear him I guess he got angry any then yelled out “Big Draws.” I maintained my composure although I wanted to say some thing back.

Then to add on more embarrassment I called 311 to complain about the gypsy taxi drivers and their constant street harassment. They then referred me to 911 and told me they would have to send a police officer to my home in order to make a complaint.

Submitted by Teisha

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Stalking, Verbal

Three Strikes You’re Scared

My boyfriend lives downtown, and to reach him I have to walk two blocks to get to the N, R, or W train at 6th ave. This requires me to walk down west 28th street, and it is a eventful walk every time I do.

Every time I walk down 28th, one or more men feel like they have to say something to me. Its the flower district, and when the venders put all their plants out on the street, I am forced to walk through a jungle and been in close spaces with several men who are always giving me the up-down, I feel them start to enclose on me and get too close for comfort. It seems like every time I make that walk to the subway, someone will tell me I am “beautiful” or that they “want to talk to me”. Recently, I had more than the normal amount of comments..

I was returning from my boyfriend’s place, and as I walked out of the subway stairs, immediately after a man standing right outside the exit said “hey miss I wanna talk to you”, and even followed me for a bit! I held my breath and walked faster, but as I passed a parking garage another man started to comment on my appearance! So I walked faster… and then as I reached 29th street ANOTHER man started to make kissing faces at me! All of this happened within three minutes, and I felt like my security was being stripped away with each harassment.

Now I find myself trying to avoid taking the N R or W even though it is the closest and most convenient subway. Sometimes I’ll make my trip 20 minutes longer if it means I don’t have to walk on 28th. If I am leaving my boyfriend’s place after dark, I’ll shell out the extra money for a taxi, have him escort me, or even call my friends and tell them to meet me on the platform. Literally, every time I am on that street a man has to make some obscene comment to me. The walk from my place to that subway is only 10 minutes, but it is always the longest walk of my life.

Submitted by Susanna

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Assault, Stalking, Verbal

Glass Bottles, Bikes, and Borough Park

I’ve never felt unsafe before. That may be surprising, as I live in New York City, but I’ve never really feared for my physical safety. I’m a big lady and I’ve always felt comfortable walking or biking or taking the train at any hour of the day or night.

Last night, two men on a dark street stripped me of that sense of security.

I was riding my bike home from my friend’s house around 1:30AM. I had dressed up for Shabbat services in a cute, short dress and was feeling a little chilly. I was riding mechanically slowly, really only looking forward to getting home so I could curl up in my warm bed and watch some dumb recorded tv shows.

I ride through some pretty desolate areas on this route. Keep in mind, I’ve ridden this route several times a week since I started biking. I’ve ridden it at four in the morning before. It is the only way I use to get home when I’ve gone anywhere east of Prospect Park.

I approached the overpass of the D train on 39th street right near my apartment and passed two men. All of the sudden I heard someone running behind me and I turned around to see one of them chasing me on my bike. He was running full out only a few feet behind me. I screamed out “What the fuck are you doing?” and started pedaling as fast as I could. They screamed “bitch” at me and threw a glass bottle which shattered near my tires.

I was three blocks from my home.

I rode at full speed the last three blocks. When I got to my house, my hands were shaking so badly I could hardly lock up my bike. I was terrified that the men would have followed me home. I ran up my stairs and locked the door, finding an empty apartment. I sat on my bed shivering with fear, unable to really process what had just happened.

When I looked back at that man chasing me, I truly thought that he would overtake me and pull me off my bike. There aren’t a lot of street lights in that area and even less people out on the street. If they had wanted to take my bag, they could have. If they had wanted to sexually assault me and slit my throat, they could have. These are the thoughts that kept me awake as I huddled in my bed, to scared even to cry.

I don’t know what they’ve left me. I ride my bike every single day. I ride it to work, to friend’s houses, to the grocery store, to rehearsal, to meetings, to parties, and anywhere I want to go. I haven’t bought a monthly metrocard since June. My bike is an essential part of how I interact with the city. It’s my life. Yet now, when I think about riding in some of the areas where I travel on a regular basis — I am terrified. What if this happens again? What if next time I’m not fast enough? What if they do get me off my bike? I’m so scared, but I’m not allowed to be — I need my bike.

How can I reclaim the sense of physical security that they’ve taken from me?

Submitted by Emma

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Assault, Stalking

Scared like a child who thinks about monsters.

One day as I walked a friend to the train station, I noticed a man in my periphery against a wall by the station, I walked her down and then noticed on my way up that the man against the wall was still there and now trying to get my attention. So oh course my first response is to ignore the bastard, but this man proceeded to follow me. Only a few feet from the station, he proceeded to use his body to corner me up against a wall. My instinct told me to push him away. However, when I pushed I was so scared that I didn’t know my own strength, I shoved him back. He stumbled a few feet backwards and became enraged. I saw in his eyes that he was going to hurt me, so I ran.

Of course, it was the only moment that I have seen this area so empty that I had to run and be chased a full block until I found some people on the street. They were a construction crew. I ran in between them and pointed at the crazy man chasing me. They used their body to block the crazy guy and told me to run home. As I was running home, I could still hear this crazy guy screaming at me about what he would do. As soon as I got home, I locked all the doors and thought about how frightening this was. I was scared. Scared like a child who thinks about monsters. How can one person make another person feel like this in one moment. I am truly sick and tired of this harassment. Since coming to NYC, I understand why people become agoraphobic. Enough is enough. I will not be silenced.

For awhile, I tried to figure out what it is about me that lured these violators to single me out. Is it the way I walk? Is it because I am so short and small? Is it because I seem weak? Is it because of the way I dress?….In the end, why the fuck does any of this matter. It is just plain unacceptable.

Enough is enough.

Submitted by Michelle

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Stalking, Verbal

Who Let the Dogs Out?

As I was leaving my house to walk my dog, a passing tan-colored van slowed down in the middle of the street and the male driver (probably in his 40s) stuck his head out the window, looked back at me, and smiled creepily. I looked at him and snapped “What?!” His smile dropped, and he goes (completely expressionless) “Nick rack”, and then drives away. Another passenger in the car simultaneously yelled “Nice…” (something – I couldn’t hear the rest).

Ten minutes or so later, I’m still walking my dog, and the same van drives by AGAIN, with the same dickless creep this time just GLARING at me. I see it go further up the street and slowly turn back onto the street where he’d originally harassed me – it looked like he was pulling over there. I started getting nervous at this point, because that’s where I was headed and it’s the street I live on. I started thinking of what I’m going to do if he’s indeed parked there and waiting for me (I could have turned around, but going the other way would have added another 20 minutes onto my walk, and it was getting close to sunset). Fortunately, he wasn’t there when I got to my street. But I’m so tired of going outside and then wishing I hadn’t left the house at all.

Submitted by Amy

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