Assault, public masturbation, Street harassment in the media

Every monkey thinks he knows which tree to climb on…

But Mario Valdivia clearly doesn’t. The 51 year old Queens subway flasher picked the wrong tree, and after footage of his illegal adventure was captured by a bystander and published to YouTube, this monkey got busted. The video went viral, and Mr. Valdivia has been charged with forcible touching, public lewdness, and sex abuse. Insert slow clap with loud, strong, rising crescendo applause and hour-long standing ovation here.

HollaHERO, hear us ROAR. This story has several heros, and let us thank them for their good work: the amazing woman, who has become a voice for all that is HollaFabulous, the quick and timely investigative work on the part of the bystanders (and the cameraman’s request to ‘hey man, let me see your penis!’), and finally and very importantly, the serious NYPD action.

We hope all instances of sexual assault and abuse such as this one won’t require a viral video and subsequent prime time television coverage in order to be taken seriously, but we can celebrate a good thing when we see it.

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Enjoy the CBS report here:

no comments 
public masturbation

“I see his penis out!”

This was sent to us by one of our readers, and is an incredible story of one woman who holla’ed back on her subway ride.  Watch it, and bask in the glory of her HOLLAheroism.

55 comments 
NYPD FAIL, public masturbation, Stalking

#NYPDfail: they didn’t even ask me for a description of the guy

I work as a waitress in the lower east side one night a week. I was leaving work around 12:30 in a neighborhood that I have grown very comfortable in over the last year. I stayed with my coworker to shut the gate and we each walked toward our train stops (mine was the Grand Street B/D).

About 30 second away from the door I saw a man looking at me as I walked toward him. Not uncommon in the lower east side I continued as he adjusted his pants. When I was about 5 feet from him I realize he had he was jerking off as he stared at me. I decided to ignore him and walk past. He lunged at me , and I quickly veered passed him and around the corner, thinking he was just some crazy guy being nasty on the side of the road.

I walked about half way down the next block when I checked over my shoulder and realized he was following me. I picked up the pace, and saw a group of two women and two men ahead of me. I thought about stopping and saying something but I was nervous about slowing down so I sped passed them and took a quick right across traffic at Grand. From there it’s about three blocks to the B/D so I got at it quick.

I looked over my shoulder after I crossed Allen and didn’t see him so relaxed a bit, but looked again before I crossed the next street and he was a lot closer to me than I thought.

I picked up the pace but realized that he was jogging while I wasn’t looking or something because he was catching up to me really fast and there weren’t really any people on the street. The last block before the subway I didn’t see any people and he seemed to be getting close so I started to run. I looked back and he was running after me which made me really scared.

I got to the subway and went the MTA ticket guy and told him what had happened. He asked if the guy was in the station and I said no as I nervously looked toward the entrance. He said to just get on the train and that he would look out for me (even though I asked to talk to a police officer). I was grateful to be safe but felt weird about evading the situation and not letting the police know.

The next morning I worked again and was really surprised by the anxiety that I felt on the subway heading to work. I told my manager when I arrived and she urged me to call the police. I did. They came. I told them and even suggested some leads as to which businesses might have cameras outside that might lead to some kind of arrest. They not only ignored my leads but didn’t even ask me for a description of the guy. As I began to cry in front of them out of frustration they told me not to be scared. They assured me that they were working a double tonight and they would come by whenever I got out of work. THAT DOES NOT SOLVE THIS ISSUE!!
I told them no thanks if they were not going to follow up on the information that I gave them.

It seems that the community board that my job is involved with in combination with my work of mouth activism is the best defense we have in the lower east side. Please! Do not rely on the police for defense in this issue. They advised me next time to buy some pepper spray and/or ride the subway with a friend. Good luck servers of Manhattan. How many of you have a subway buddy? I certainly don’t.

I hope that all people who work on Broome will take the time to look out for themselves, and keep there phone in there pocket to get a picture of any asshole masterbating on the street so maybe the police will have some incentive to do their jobs.

Submitted by Rheanna

5 comments 
NYPD FAIL, public masturbation

#NYPDfail: “you want him to be arrested, right, well that’s not going to happen.”

Thank you for providing a forum for this.  I hope that by gathering these stories, we can not only demonstrate the problem and it’s consequences, but find creative ways to stop this kind of thing from happening, or at least make it easier to catch the perverts who do things like this.
I was on the 1 train around 11:30 PM last night.  The train was not very full and I grabbed two seats at the end of the car, sat down, and started doing crossword puzzles on my phone.  Around 135th street I noticed a man was sitting accross from me.  He was wearing button fly jeans and “adjusting” himself.  At first, I thought he was just impolite, but continued to grab at his crotch,  and he began to demanded my attention, and it became clear that this behavior was directed specifically at me.
I looked around the train and noticed that it was full of men, the closest of whom sat on the other side of the door 3 or 4 seats away.  It seemed to me like a couple of them knew what was going on, but no one paid attention or offered to help in any way.  I thought about moving, but I thought, “If I move, then he wins.  He knows he’s gotten to me, and that’s what he wants.”  So I stayed where I was and tried to seem focused on my game, but instead started snapping pictures.
The man slid over so he was directly in front of me, moved his bag to the public side of his body to shield himself from view when he pulled out his penis.  Then he started waving it around in front of me, sucking his teeth, saying, “hey, hey” under his breath, and making kissing noises at me.  I focused more intently on the screen, not giving him any attention, but clocking the subway stops until I got off the train at 191 Street.
When I got off the train, I ran one and a half cars down to the conductor, and told him about my experience and where the guy was.  I told him I had pictures, did he want to see them? He said no, and that he would deal with the man.  Feeling really pissed and disturbed, and  without recourse, I went home and talked to my roommate who encouraged me to call 311 – the New York Subway has an entire ad campaign designed to address these issues, I figured there must be a way to report this behavior.  311 connected me to 911 and a half hour later the cops showed up at my door.
The police officers wanted nothing to do with me.  They immediately started to tell me that there was nothing they could do, that even if I filed a report nothing would come of it.  They asked me what did I really want to come of this: “you want him to be arrested, right, well that’s not going to happen.”  And I could tell they just didn’t want to file the report.  I said make me a number-  I want to be counted, and I would absolutely like to file a report. They hemmed and hawed and said that they don’t really handle this kind of thing, they just do street business, and since this was underground it’s not really even in their domain.  The case would have to be transfered to the transportation division and they didn’t even know what division of the transportation division it would go to. Plus, it wasn’t even a felony – a felony would be investigated, really, this is just a misdemeanor, and “why didn’t you just move?” Essentially, they were telling me that my  case was going to get lost, no one would investigate it, no one could take my pictures – they didn’t even have the technology to do that kind of thing, the guy would never be found, this stuff happens, these guys just do stuff like this and there’s nothing they can really do about it.
I filed the report anyway.  I got the badge numbers of the cops.  I found out the division I need to follow up with.  And I’m posting all of this here.
There must be a recourse for women in my position on the subway.  Until there is, the authorities are basically condoning this behavior.  I hope someone catches this guy.  I hope the conductor did something.  As for the Police – our so called protectors?  Shame on them.
Submitted by Sevrin

5 comments 
public masturbation

This isn’t supposed to happen here.

This guy must think he is real hot shit with his dick up and out on a twice-an-hour bus in an industrial Halifax suburb (read: not hot shit). Once some men moved to the back of the bus and sat near him he hid it away so fast … please. But as much as I tried not rise to his challenge by reacting, I was really bothered by it. This doesn’t happen here! I guess maybe it does … How do women deal with this on a regular basis?

Submitted by Christina

3 comments 
public masturbation

Afraid to walk on my own campus

When I was a senior in college in New Haven, CT, I was walking from my dorm to the gym and had to walk through a somewhat narrow passageway between two other college buildings. There was a man standing in a corner and he motioned to me to come over to him, he didn’t seem sketchy, just sort of random. I had to walk past him to get out and I realized he was masturbating while staring at me and following me. I ran away and when I got to the other side of the alley way, I call the police to report it, but I never heard anything back from them. It was so disgusting and I was afraid to walk from my dorm across campus to the gym alone for a very long time.

Submitted by Abby

one comment 
Assault, groping, Nonverbal Harassment, public masturbation, Stalking, Street harassment in the media, The Movement, Verbal

SPOILER ALERT: Dozens of women come forward within hours after NYT reporter publishes details of her own hollaback!

In a follow up to her “New Phone Apps Aim to Combat Harassment” article published in the NYT on Monday, reporter and now HollaHERO Karen Zraick publishes her own personal hollaback in today’s City Room blog.

As if we couldn’t have guessed, within hours, there are 47 comments all containing one, two, three, and sometimes more, horrifying stories of women’s own personal experiences with street harassment. And it isn’t over yet. NOW THAT IS ONE HELLUVA HOLLABACK!

“It’s infuriating to see this described as a ‘quality of life issue’, writes one woman. “This isn’t a ‘quality of life’ issue, okay? It’s not my neighbors having a loud party, or a dog barking next door!”

At Hollaback, we couldn’t have said it better.

Now this is one holla the city will NOT be able to ignore. Read Karen’s story and the accompanying comments here.

If I had a dollar for every NYT reporter who has come forward with her own hollaback…well, I wouldn’t have very much money. But if I had $5 from every woman who read this story, including you, now I might have something to talk about…raise us $5?

no comments 
public masturbation

… that’s his penis

I was sitting on the train in Queens around noon today when I noticed that the guy sitting across from me kept scratching himself under his jacket. Then I realize that’s not scratching… that’s his penis. And he’s wearing dark sunglasses so who knows who he’s ogling. Me? Lovely. I pulled out my cell phone to try to get a photo but he must have realized there was about to be evidence of his nastiness because he immediately got off the subway. I hope the next person who notices him will be faster on the draw.

Submitted by Sharon

Seen more penis on the NYC transit lines than a Grand Central Station urinal? NYC FAIL. Please give $5.

no comments 
public masturbation

The wheels on the bus… could move a little faster

I wish I found this website sooner because I would have done something to stop the d*chebag that sat across from me on the bus. (Just for reference, we both had two seats to ourselves.) At first, upon boarding the bus, he didn’t seem threatening even though he glanced at me.

But boy, was I wrong.

For about 3 hours, I had to endure this nasty, nasty man (who had appeared relatively normal-looking) masturbating to himself. I was FURIOUS. Absolutely furious. What made it worse was the fact that he made it SEEM like he was SLEEPING the entire time. Ugh. And this is the first time this has EVER happened to me on a bus. And I’m a frequent traveler to Boston; I’ve been doing this for five years!

Now that I think about it, I should have taken a photo of the creep. I should have yelled at him when we stopped at the rest stop. I should have at least done something.

But because of this website, I now know that I have the power to make a change. No matter how small it may be.

Submitted by Leslie

no comments 
public masturbation, Verbal

Testimony: “I want to be able to live in this city without having to feel below or undermined simply because I’m a girl.”

Hello, my name is Grace. I live in Brooklyn and am in 11th grade in high school. Thank you so much for holding this hearing today to listen to the stories and issues faced by so many New York girls and women every day.

I cannot remember the last time I walked out of my house and returned home that night without being sexually harassed at some point during the say. Be it the slimy grin and the threatening eyes, or the erection digging into my back in a sardine-like packed train.

The subway is where I experience it the worst. My phone does not work on the subway. I cannot quickly move away or off the train. I am completely alone. But this should not have to mean that I am completely vulnerable.

The moment which I have felt most degraded, belittled, and humiliated was at 6pm on a Saturday getting onto the 1 train at Chambers heading Uptown. I got on and noticed everyone on one side of the train. I didn’t think too much about it and sat down on the two-seated bench furthest away from everyone. The doors closed and the train moved away from the station.

I suddenly noticed a man sitting across from me I hadn’ t seen before. He was white, old, and wearing a big tan jacket and a baseball cap. He had a friendly face.

His eyes flashed up to meet mine and I quickly dropped my gaze into my lap. I didn’t want to make eye contact with him, just like with any stranger; I was worried he would misinterpret the eye contact. But it is ridiculous, really, that I feel I cannot look a stranger in the eye because it would give them reason to think I may be provoking or leading them on in some way. Has it really gotten to the point where I have to watch and reserve every move I make to ensure he doesn’t make any of his own?

He shuffled his hands in his pockets.
The train stopped at Franklin Street.
No one got on.
The train doors closed and started on again.
He was fidgeting again, from what I could see from the corner of my eye.
I glanced up at him, against my better judgment.
The hands I thought were in his pockets were not. They were under the big sides of his tan coat.
Masturbating.

I can’ t even remember what I felt at that moment. It was such a rush of so many emotions; it all washed over me and made me feel smaller than ever.

“ Don’ t look at his eyes,” I told myself, trying to keep calm, telling myself this wasn’t really happening. How could someone possibly comprehend doing this? I tried to concentrate on my hands. They were turning ghostly blue as I squeezed them so tightly for any sense of comfort or release of pain, whichever one it was. I did look up, only to realize the one thing I wished above all was not true. He was staring right back at me.

I guess I must have been angry. I don’ t think I could feel it though. My fear and shock overpowered everything else such as the shame and embarrassment. The vulnerability and victimization. The fact that I was frozen. Unable to say a thing. Unable to move. Unable to fully comprehend or at least not letting myself. The train stopped at Franklin.

“ Why me? Why now? What do I do?!” I screamed at myself inside. I thought I was going to explode. I knew that I should move or say something, anything.

The doors opened to the platform.

I wanted to get off then. I wanted to run off the train so badly. I wanted to scream at that man, who was so sick in the mind and inconsiderate, I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted to yell at the other people on the train, all huddled on the other side. They knew something was wrong, I could read right through their poker faces. I was in despair, and they did nothing. They didn’t even glance in my direction. I was in an incomprehensible state.

I stared longingly at the platform. My eyes fixated, yearning to drag my body out of this nightmare, off the train, or even onto the next car. But I was stuck. Crushed.

I did not move. I did not say a thing.

The doors closed and the train moved away from the platform again. I stared down at my hands, concentrating on their wrinkles and creases.

I blame myself for the event. I could have moved to the other side of the train. I could have yelled at the creepy man. I could have gotten off at Franklin or Canal. I could have asked for help. But in the moment, I just could not do it. I ignored the masturbation five feet in front of me and suppressed my feelings. I clenched my jaw and carried on, just the way all girls and women seem to react to the harassment they face every day.

I got off at Houston, as quick as possible. I was relieved to even be that far away from the stranger. But at the same time the relief settled in, a wave of anger and regret panged inside my chest. I almost instantly wished I could have gone back on the train and had the courage and power to stand up to the stranger and let him know, in any way possible that he was sick, that what he did was messed up, that I shouldn’t be blaming myself for it. That he was in the wrong and should be punished. It’ s basic morals, taught from when you’re a kid. He had no right. Yet he got away with it.

I walked up to the street that day and continued on. I did not think to mention it to anyone because it didn’t seem to matter. Who would care? And if they did care, what could they possibly do about it now? I cannot tell you how many times I have wished I could go back in time and done something.

I did not know what I would do for a while. But once Hollaback came to visit my class, I knew there was something I would do. I did not know that what happened to me was not unusual. That men frequently masturbated openly to girls and women on the subway. I was one of many cases. I did not experience anything out of the ordinary life of a girl living in New York City.

But how messed up does that sound? How morally contorted are we that young girls are normally subject to such degrading public embarrassment? How messed up is this system that if I hadn’t heard about the Hollaback organization, that if I hadn’ t heard about this hearing, I would still be burying these feelings inside, internalizing my pain and blaming myself for all the wrong that strange men have done to me.

I was not wearing anything that day to provoke him, just jeans and a T-shirt. But that should not have to matter. As my right, I should be able to wear what I want without having to worry about men taking advantage of me. I shouldn’t have to leave social outings early just because it’ s past 9:30 PM and it’ s considered too “ late” for a girl to be taking a long train ride by herself. I should not have to worry about the man at the Chambers Street station who every morning compliments me with a sexual subtext in his words.

Once, I was walking once just behind the playground of my school courtyard. I was not 3 feet away from the school premises when from behind, a man came up and pressed his body against mine. I could feel the heat off his skin, I could smell his hot stale breath as he blew my hair. “ NICE ASS,” he yelled in a loud, rude, and hostile voice. It was like he was putting me in my place, hammering me down, and reminding me of his authority and control over me. I felt helpless, a feeling I knew was exactly his goal, consciously or not.

I want other girls to know about organizations such as Hollaback. I want girls to know how to handle the terrible situations they encounter on the subway. I want people on the trains to help when they see something happening. I want to be able to ride the subways without having to be so constantly alert and cautious. I want to be able to wear what I want without it being an instigator for harassment. I want to be able to live in this city without having to feel below or undermined simply because I’m a girl.

I thank you for hearing me out. I thank you for listening to my stories that I have shoved to the back of my mind for so long, keeping them bottled up and disregarding them.

Please remember, that the experiences I shared are not unusual. They happen on a daily basis. I do not know one girl or woman in my life that has not experienced some form of sexual harassment in their life. I’m sure that this is true for almost every female you all know too. It is happening every day here in our city. I am only 16, and already I cannot remember half the traumatic experiences I have experienced due to male harassment. Thank you for listening, and please remember how great a help you all can be.

9 comments 
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