Nonverbal Harassment, Story

Lindsay’s Story: Peeping Tom’s on Base

I just moved into a new apartment with my husband next to one of the gates that leads into a Naval Academy, a place that is supposed to produce strong, respectful trained military officers (that’s right; daddy’s money helps you skip boot camp altogether and you get to go in commanding guys who have more experience than you could ever hope to have… but I digress).

Currently there is construction going on at another gate and apparently a Naval Academy thinks that entitles them to set up a Militarized check point directly in front of my apartment giving whoever is posted at the checkpoint full view into my bedroom and bathroom (historical apartments have windows in the shower to stave off mold).

This ‘post’ violates all sorts of privacy laws just by it being there. But to add to the fuckery of it all; the 20 yr old military police officers (Or as I refer to them, Child Soldiers)know they have full view of my apartment and found it funny to attempt to ‘Peep’ in my shower while I was in it. And those antics are adding to the menacing manner in which they were responding to any private citizens questions (including asking where Non military residents were headed and demanding they produce Identification)

After a week of me pushing back as much as I could, complaining to higher ranked officers and receiving nothing in return I decided to make a few phone calls. I got in touch with the Child Soldiers superiors and was told by [FEMALE officer] “Ma’am, I’m not sure why you not having your curtains closed is our problem” and I had to respond with “Ma’am, I believe having a person posted outside my (who gives a fuck what state of closure they’re in) curtains who thinks it’s funny to look in people showers; which is against the law no matter who it is, IS your problem” I was then transferred to the head of Naval Academy security who did not answer the phone (how unexpected).

After this infuriating interaction I decided to call Annapolis City Planning and Public Works.

I had a wonderful conversation with a person in Public Works who agreed that all of their behavior was beyond out of line and that the city of Annapolis and the Mayors office would be in touch with Naval Academy Security to put pressure on them to act accordingly.

Hours after, I (finally) received a call back from the head of security and when I informed him that I’d taken care of it already he paused slightly then said “Yes, we’ve heard from both City Planning and the Mayors Office, we’ve been corresponding with both of them today” I very politely replied “So then you know all about it and there’d be no need for me to reiterate, wonderful”. He seemed a bit uneasy, said that I should keep his contact info for any future problems and hung up.

This doesn’t make me feel any better because there is still a woman who is a security officer at the Naval Academy who thinks that victim shaming is appropriate.

[The picture attached is the view from my window]

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story

HOLLA ON THE GO: “I was in disbelief”

I was sort of in a rush to school I just left my apartment literally on the same block! I was turning on my iPhone to listen to music. This man that I glanced at was walking towards me, and I was on the left side of the street and he was on the right, and I noticed him sort of walking in my way, therefore I even moved more to the left side. His leg rose and he kicked my bag! With about medium strength! Hard enough that it left a mark on my bag! I was seriously in disbelief! And he kept walking.  I stopped and looked back and yelled “HEY! WHAT THE HELL MAN!”

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story, Verbal

Lydia’s Story: Stomping on harasser’s to reclaim control

A tale about my evening commute home and my adventures with creepy smarmy guy and skulking threatening guy on the same bus.

I was on the bus home 22/09/14 about 6:30 this evening and this guy came up the stairs, immediately clocked me and came and sat RIGHT next to me. There were double vacant seats behind me and he was literally RIGHT UP AGAINST ME. I gave the passive agressive sort of shifting further away and he had the nerve to turn to directly face me with a creepy smile on his face and say “thank you”. (ew) I set my face to bitch resting and stared out of the window while keeping an eye on his cell phone which he was playing around with a lot. I could see him very often turning and staring at me, it was pretty scary I had no idea what this creep might try so I got my keys locked between my fingers of one hand and made it very clear by hardening my expression further that I didn’t want to be bothered.
He then suddenly leaned in close, I leapt a mile and he started whispering “do you have the time?” He was both holding a bloody phone and had the clock on the sign in plain sight. I made a snarling face and pointed to the clock and said loudly “Its 6:44.” Making people look around at us, it also made me feel slightly more in control as he then shrunk back and started grumbling into his phone.

I got off a stop early just in case he tried following me so I could run into the nearby bar if need be and so stood up waiting for him to let me past but he stretched his knees further forward and grinned at me signalling for me to step over him. Really angry by this point I barged straight into his legs taking care to rake the heels of my chunky boots hard across his shins and forcing him to spin round to the side letting me past. He made a hissing sound and I felt pretty smug and empowered about it.

BUT THEN I was going down the steps and this guy was standing in the stairwell taking up the entire space and glowering up at me from under his baseball cap, his feet stretched forward covering the whole floorspace. He made a kind of sneering face at me as I came nearer and it was clear he wasn’t going to move and I would have to clamber around him like a bloody idiot. I decided not to rock the boat, he looked like a regular at Pentonville so made to step over one outstretched leg – but purely by accident ended up losing my balance and bringing my trusty boot slamming down onto his toes. He cried out and said something like “argh, bitch!” I’m not sure, I was already hurrying out of the bus and straight into the bar, there wasn’t any need though as he didn’t seem to follow me off.

I was pretty scared and angry at the time at these two creeps who try to threaten and letch on random women but looking back at it now I’m grinning like an idiot as in my small way I was able to reclaim a bit of control and give them a gift from the karma gods. Enjoy the single life fellas!

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flashing, Nonverbal Harassment, public masturbation, Story

Natasha’s Story: “This is not the first time this has happened to me”

This is not the first time this has happened to me in New York City. Actually the 4th. I grew up here. And am aware of my surroundings. This morning a young guy – looked relatively normal – was looking at me from the platform. I was sitting inside the R train. One other man was in my train car but seated in the opposite direction.

The young guy exposed himself and was masturbating towards me. I didn’t know how to react. Normally I would say something but I realized I then didn’t trust the other male in the train car with me. My instinct was to look down. I cried realizing it ruined my judgement of the other male who could have been a nice person.

As an after thought I should have maybe taken a photo to report him. Wish I could do something more.

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story, youth

Minor’s Story: “It was my first negative experience of such a kind”

On a run in my neighborhood today, a man in a car passing me wolf whistled. As a minor, (I’m only 14!), it was my first negative experience of such a kind.

It made me feel unsafe to be running alone because I knew other people with more physical power (a man in a car) were looking at my body sexually, and I could do nothing about it, even if they chose to pursue me further.

I am also deeply disturbed to realize that even as a minor running in a family community, I can be made to feel unsafe.

I want to end street harassment because it makes me feel unsafe and unhappy, and that is no way for any person to feel!

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story, Verbal

Caitlin’s Story: “Like a fake out punch”

I was walking through busy Main street. This kid ( I can only describe him as a kid he was probably in his late teens or early twenties) was coming in the opposite direction. We were trying to move out of eachother’s way..all of a sudden he throws his fist up near my face as if to try to scare me. Like a fake out punch. A complete douchebag. I wish I said something more than “seriously?” He didn’t even notice how I responded.

I can’t believe some people feel so entitled in this world that they feel they can act however they want and treat people however they want without any regards to peoples feelings. I hope this kid gets a lesson learning…really soon.

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groping, Nonverbal Harassment, public masturbation, Story

Brooklynn’s Story: “Well it was a big deal to me”

First off I’d like to state that slapping a boy who slapped my butt in high school was my only prior public incident prior to this.

So I’m in a waiting room of my daughter’s counselor’s office. I’m on my cell and I look up and their is a guy sitting on the other side, staring at me intently. I look down and he is jerking off-in public-FULL ON. This guy is stroking himself so hard and looking at him in the eyes made me enraged because he didn’t stop. He liked that I noticed it. I told my brother that I had to get off the phone. There was a receptionist that I was facing who could not see what this guy was doing. So I go to this male receptionist to complain about what this guy was doing and he acted like I was complaining about my coffee. He never moved, never did anything, nothing. As I’m complaining the sicko zips up and steps out of waiting room. Well I kept getting angrier and angrier that I was dismissed. As I’m up front, sicko comes back in and not only pretends like he just walked in but he walks in and SPEAKS TO ME! I SNAPPED!

I mean I flipped out yelling and cursing and told the security guard to call the cops for me not him. They shut the building down and all of the counselors came up front. They locked all doors. The sicko and I arguing and he denies every doing this. The cops come, and I end up in tears making my report. Then I’m told by the counseling place that they are banning him from the place. The guy is arrested. I am told to go 30 minutes away to press charges. I go and spend all night there just to find out that the cop could have done it but was too lazy. It took 3 court appearances for him finally to get sentenced to probation. They couldn’t keep the ban because he had to get treated there. I agreed to testify and miss work, and keep paying for court parking to try to prevent this creep from doing this again. All I got was no one listening and missed work. To top it all off my female boss’s response when I told her why I was heading to court was “So, haven’t you ever had that happen to you in NYC? Every woman goes through it. No big deal.” Well it was a big deal to me.

And I resent the fact that I can’t walk down the street, in heels, dressed for work or, in jeans and a t-shirt running to the store without some jerk feeling like he has the right to touch me or say something sexual towards me.

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story, Verbal

Jessica’s Story: “He just kept staring down at her”

I was riding the Brooklyn bound L train when I noticed a man in his 50s got on the train at Union Square and stand unusually close to a young lady in her early twenties near the door. He started blatantly staring down her shirt and then started staring at me. So he would switch between us. After a few moments, I looked at her with a “are you OK look?” and she, wide-eyed, looked back. Then she took out her ear buds, and said, “What are you looking at?” He just kept staring down at her. Then I said, “What the f** are you staring at, Dude??!!” And he kept staring at me.

Then the guy in front of me said, “Enough, Dude, enough.” And then the train stopped at Bedford, and I acted like I was getting out so I could try and stand in between him and the girl, but he wouldn’t move. I was still like- “Stop staring at her, you’re being fucking disgusting.” And he responded and said, “I can stare at who ever I want. I’m a vet” “So am I supposed to feel bad for you because you’re a vet?” He responded, “You’re a fucking lunatic, I’m not moving!” as he pressed up against me harder.

Then another woman on the train said to him, “Be the bigger person and stop talking”- which I still can’t figure out if she was trying to help him, or me. We went back and forth and finally he got off the train at the Morgan Ave stop. When I turned around to check on the girl behind me she was visibly shaken up, but kept saying thank you. I hugged her as she broke down, and thanked the guy for stepping in … a little bit, and then hiding behind me.

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Nonverbal Harassment, Stalking, Story

Luna’s Story: Sidestepper

I was walking up onto Oxford St when this scruffy creepy guy tried several times to intentionally step right into my path and block my way. After sidestepping twice the third time I physically shoved past him hard with my massive shoulderbag, he shouted something unintelligent but left me alone as it was really busy about. He went on his way hopefully to take a bath.

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story

HOLLA ON THE GO: Subway space taker

A guy, mid-30s, dark blonde hair, wearing a tech Network-embroidered shirt and carrying a tech Network-emblazoned backpack, hopped on my relatively empty train (headed in the direction of the business’s main building at rush hour) and chose, among all of the empty benches, the one directly facing me and then aimed his knees so they touched mine.

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