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Living in Memphis is a wonderful and terrible thing sometimes. There are a lot of fantastic things about this place, but the sexist and sexually violent attitude that permeates this area disgusts me.
I’ve lived here for nearly three years, and in that time, I have been followed, hollered at, groped, cussed at, and just made to feel like I am “less than”.
This city has a SERIOUS and frighteningly blasé attitude towards sexual assault/harassment and it needs to stop.
On January 26, 2015, on the 7 train (going to Flushing, Queens) at around 3PM-3:30 PM. At the Times Square stop, a man entered the train cart and stood in front of me and another young girl. His zipper was down and he was masturbating. He was holding something on his other hand and using it to cover himself. It was difficult for me to let the train conductor know because he was right next to the conductor’s door so I took his picture instead.
My friend and I (females) were walking home around 1am on Main Street. We were walking behind a man who was following two girls. How do I know he was following them? He was walking too close to them for comfort, the girls were looking behind them at the man frequently while walking very fast, and when they started crossing the street he did the exact same thing. They girls noticed, so they came back to the original side where my friend and I were. He disappeared into the neighborhood.
I was sitting in the lobby of the hospital, waiting for my job required screening. There was one other person in the room with me. A middle aged man sat across from me. We had not engaged in eye contact or conversation. I looked up from my phone to see him pointing the camera of HIS phone directly at me. I stared at him in defiance hoping the fact that I caught him red handed would deter him from actually taking my picture. Unmoved in the slightest, I heard the shutter sound. I was in shock. He proceeded to pretend to take photos of the chairs directly to my right, fiddling with them as he took them. I stealthily took a picture of HIM and posted this exchange on my Facebook wall. I remained silent and waited till I was called by the doctor to call this man on his violation. As I passed him I spoke quietly, “I truly hope, that I am NOT in ANY of those pictures you were taking earlier.”
He replied, “Oh no you are not”
I emphasized my displeasure, “I better not be.” And followed the doctor back. I alerted the nurse who attended me of the incident.
The man was called back shortly after I was called. This is his picture.
My friends and I were walking down the street when a car full of guys slowed down, one of them had a cucumber and started rubbing it and making faces at us, we jumped into the closest building
I was looking at shampoo at Walmart one day. It was above 90 degrees outside, so I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I was facing the shampoo display, reading if it had the right ingredients in it, when a group of 5 guys came behind me and closed me in. They didn’t say anything, but I could feel them looking me up and down and getting closer. My dad walked around the corner of the aisle and scared them all off. If I hadn’t been there with him, I may have been groped or worse.
I was walking to my bus stop one day to catch my bus, and as I was waiting, a car pulled up to me and gestured to get inside the car. After shaking my head countless times, he finally drove away. I feel very unsafe riding the bus.
So yesterday me and my sister when on a bike ride to go check out a couple houses we had seen for rent. Once we got to the first house on our list we hopped off our bikes and looked around real quick. As we were about to hop back on our bikes, a car crept up to the side of us, and the people in it rolled down their windows. Inside were 5 men gawking at us… my first thought was to grab my pepper spray, but then I thought 5 big men…who knows if they have a gun or something more effective than my little can of pepper spray, and clearly my sister and I can’t take on 5 men. All we could do was try and keep walking and hope they would leave. Finally once we reached the end of the street, the guys realized they weren’t getting anything. They slowly turned and drove off. I was so scared thank God my sister was with me. I could only imagine how much worse I would have felt if I were alone.
Double whammy! I was walking to the Y this morning for lap swimming. As I walked past a laundromat, a man stepped out the door and mouthed “Wow!” as I passed. Whatever, I ignored him. On my way back I walked past the same laundromat. Two men are standing outside talking. One of them stared me down as I walked by while still talking to his buddy. I’m just trying to get to my workout. Arg!
A few friends and I went to our favorite bar one evening. First my two friends had their asses grabbed by a drunk prick. Later, as we were standing and chatting, I glanced behind me to see a man sitting with his hand outstretched toward my skirt, wiggling his fingers. He was making this gesture to a table of people he was sitting with. I immediately sought out the bar manager and reported him. As I was walking back to my friends I saw that this drunk asshole had started arguing and was bumping chests against a male friend of mine. Apparently in my absence he had hit on my other two female friends and tried to put his arms around them. One of them pushed him off and he pushed her backwards. I ran back to the bar manager who promptly grabbed a bouncer and escorted him and his drunk friends out of the bar. Later in the bathroom the jerk’s female friends apologized to me.