Nonverbal Harassment

Claire’s Story: “I heard the shutter sound…I was in shock”

I was sitting in the lobby of the hospital, waiting for my job required screening. There was one other person in the room with me. A middle aged man sat across from me. We had not engaged in eye contact or conversation. I looked up from my phone to see him pointing the camera of HIS phone directly at me. I stared at him in defiance hoping the fact that I caught him red handed would deter him from actually taking my picture. Unmoved in the slightest, I heard the shutter sound. I was in shock. He proceeded to pretend to take photos of the chairs directly to my right, fiddling with them as he took them. I stealthily took a picture of HIM and posted this exchange on my Facebook wall. I remained silent and waited till I was called by the doctor to call this man on his violation. As I passed him I spoke quietly, “I truly hope, that I am NOT in ANY of those pictures you were taking earlier.”
He replied, “Oh no you are not”
I emphasized my displeasure, “I better not be.” And followed the doctor back. I alerted the nurse who attended me of the incident.

The man was called back shortly after I was called. This is his picture.

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6+

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Nonverbal Harassment, Story

HOLLA ON THE GO: Cucumber rubbing harasser

My friends and I were walking down the street when a car full of guys slowed down, one of them had a cucumber and started rubbing it and making faces at us, we jumped into the closest building

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10+

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Nonverbal Harassment

Amanda’s Story: “If I Hadn’t Been There with Him, I May Have Been Groped or Worse”

I was looking at shampoo at Walmart one day. It was above 90 degrees outside, so I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I was facing the shampoo display, reading if it had the right ingredients in it, when a group of 5 guys came behind me and closed me in. They didn’t say anything, but I could feel them looking me up and down and getting closer. My dad walked around the corner of the aisle and scared them all off. If I hadn’t been there with him, I may have been groped or worse.

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14+

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Nonverbal Harassment

HOLLA ON THE GO: “I Feel Very Unsafe Riding the Bus”

I was walking to my bus stop one day to catch my bus, and as I was waiting, a car pulled up to me and gestured to get inside the car. After shaking my head countless times, he finally drove away. I feel very unsafe riding the bus.

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5+

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Nonverbal Harassment, Stalking

Chloe’s Story: “My Sister and I Can’t Take on 5 Men”

So yesterday me and my sister when on a bike ride to go check out a couple houses we had seen for rent. Once we got to the first house on our list we hopped off our bikes and looked around real quick. As we were about to hop back on our bikes, a car crept up to the side of us, and the people in it rolled down their windows. Inside were 5 men gawking at us… my first thought was to grab my pepper spray, but then I thought 5 big men…who knows if they have a gun or something more effective than my little can of pepper spray, and clearly my sister and I can’t take on 5 men. All we could do was try and keep walking and hope they would leave. Finally once we reached the end of the street, the guys realized they weren’t getting anything. They slowly turned and drove off. I was so scared thank God my sister was with me. I could only imagine how much worse I would have felt if I were alone.

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10+

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Nonverbal Harassment

Sage’s Story: “Double Whammy!”

Double whammy! I was walking to the Y this morning for lap swimming. As I walked past a laundromat, a man stepped out the door and mouthed “Wow!” as I passed. Whatever, I ignored him. On my way back I walked past the same laundromat. Two men are standing outside talking. One of them stared me down as I walked by while still talking to his buddy. I’m just trying to get to my workout. Arg!

I've got your back!
10+

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groping, Nonverbal Harassment

Megan’s Story: Drunk Bar Creep

A few friends and I went to our favorite bar one evening. First my two friends had their asses grabbed by a drunk prick. Later, as we were standing and chatting, I glanced behind me to see a man sitting with his hand outstretched toward my skirt, wiggling his fingers. He was making this gesture to a table of people he was sitting with. I immediately sought out the bar manager and reported him. As I was walking back to my friends I saw that this drunk asshole had started arguing and was bumping chests against a male friend of mine. Apparently in my absence he had hit on my other two female friends and tried to put his arms around them. One of them pushed him off and he pushed her backwards. I ran back to the bar manager who promptly grabbed a bouncer and escorted him and his drunk friends out of the bar. Later in the bathroom the jerk’s female friends apologized to me.

I've got your back!
30+

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demonstration, Nonverbal Harassment, Story

Lisa’s Story: A Success Story!

I’ve been a fan of Hollaback for about a year now, and I finally decided to share a story. There are so many experiences of harassers getting away with their words and/or actions, and leaving the victim feeling powerless and trapped. However, I am happy to say that this is a success story!

I work in an industrial neighborhood in the East Bay, California. Every morning, I take a walk in about a one-mile radius from my workplace. There is a tow-truck company whose trucks frequent the area quite often, as their headquarters are nearby.

Beginning around October of last year, there was one particular driver for the company who, everytime he saw me walking, would blare his horn. A shrill, jarring, airhorn-like sound. Truck horns are designed to startle someone in an urgent situation, and naturally when this first started occurring, I would immediately look towards the sound to see what was happening. When I looked, the driver would have this grin across his face that felt so… Invasive. Sometimes he would wave, as well. My standard reaction was to flip him off, but that wasn’t satisfying the need to make him feel the way that he made me feel. Cornered, on display. I should throw in that this would always happen when he was driving by (in motion), and never when he was stopped. Big surprise, I know.

A few months later, another driver for the company started honking, grinning, waving, etc. as he passed. This happened several times. Everytime an instance occurred with this company, it was one of those two drivers. They were always in separate vehicles, never together at the same time.

So, I began to recognize my options. I thought about notifying the police, but I then realized that harassment in the workplace is taken much more seriously, internally speaking. If a company discovers that one of their employees is harassing others inside or outside of the workplace, there are often serious repercussions. I decided to call the company.

I immediately- but non-confrontationally- asked to speak to a manager. I told the receptionist that I had been experiencing harassment from two of their employees for approximately four months, and that I was fairly confident the company was unaware that this was happening. The woman I spoke to seemed to understand the urgency, and transferred me to the manager’s phone line. He was not in the office, but I did seize the opportunity to leave an in-depth message. I addressed everything that had happened with the honking and smiling, and let him know how these actions affected my feelings and sense of safety. I noted the times that these instances occurred, and the drivers’ appearances.

I never did receive a phone call back from the company, but I am ecstatic to say that not one single harassment incident, from either driver, has occurred since. I still see the same drivers when I go for a walk, and they will look, but will not say or do a thing. In fact, the majority of the time, they can’t even look me in the eye anymore.

People need to know that they CAN make a difference. They DO have the power to change things. They need not be afraid to use their voice and take action. The harassers do not have any more power than those who are harassed, and this story proves that those who choose to victimize others will endure justified consequences, if we speak up!

I've got your back!
21+

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demonstration, Nonverbal Harassment, Story, Verbal

Megan’s Story: “It pisses me off that they got away with it”

I was walking from class home when these two guys yelled at me from the car. something about wanting to “break me”. I just gave them a dirty look and kept walking. By the time they had circled back I was livid. When they yelled more obscenities at me I flipped them off. That’s when they threw the bottle at me. I was so shocked at being hit and worried about the broken glass when it hit the concrete that I didn’t get the license plate number. It pisses me off that they got away with it.

I've got your back!
73+

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demonstration, flashing, Nonverbal Harassment, public masturbation, Story

Willie’s Story: “I’d never been more afraid”

I’m a gay male who’s on the rather… chubby side, and I’d always wanted somewhere reasonable enough that made me feel comfortable and not like i wad being judged, and thought I found that with a 24 hour gym. Perfect, I’m up late anyways and there won’t be as many people there at night! Little did I know, I’d be made uncomfortable by a completely different situation.

The first time it happened, a guy was staring at me while I was rinsing my face in a sink. I could see in the reflection of the mirror that he was literally staring at me and smiling. Then what does he do next? He pulls down the front of his gym shorts and flashes me! I went out and told the person at the front desk and lo and behold, “they can’t do anything about it unless there are witnesses.”

Flash forward a month or so, I go to the gym around midnight and stay til 3 am. At the end of my workout, which included a swim, I decided that since it was late enough I could probably shower without feeling embarrassed or having anyone see me. I go into the locker room and there was an older guy, probably in his late 30’s, early 40’s who had clearly just showered and was wrapping up to go home. No big deal. I went into a desperate part of the locker room and put some stuff in my locker and grabbed a towel, undressed, and wrapped it around my waist. I head over towards the showers and as I do, I pass the little section of lockers where he’s at. He makes eye contact and smiles at me and I kinda quickly smile at him and keep walking, when I hear him say, “damn!”

I ignored it, not really believing he was talking to me (my self confidence was pretty low at the time, I had no idea anybody would ever say anything like that to me, let alone a creepy gym locker room dude,) and went over to the little offshoot area where the shower stalls are.
I’m standing there with the shower running, washing the chlorine water from my hair when I hear another nozzle turn on. I was a little disappointed cause I thought I was going to avoid the embarrassment of anyone seeing me naked, but when I glanced over, it was the creeper dude, he had gotten BACK in the shower, straight across from my stall, and worse of all, he was JACKING OFF!!!! I was pretty damn shocked by that point and I turned to face away from him and rinse the shampoo out of my hair (I rushed so it shouldn’t have taken more than a few seconds,) and I heard him say something. HE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY STILL MASTURBATING!!! I didn’t know what to do or say so I kinda backed up into my stall a little more to move away from him and he kept stroking and started reaching for me. I finally got myself together and realize what was going on and said “dude, if you fucking touch me I’ll punch you the fuck out.” He backed off enough to get past him and I grabbed my towel, threw on my gym shorts and shirt still soaking wet, and carried my shoes and took off out of that locker room so quick. I’d never been more afraid or shaken up in my life. I didn’t even want to stop to talk to the guy at the front desk.
I went back a few days later to report the incident and of course was told once again that they couldn’t do anything about it. It was sick and creepy and I don’t understand why because a man can “tell I’m gay” he thinks he’s entitled to invade my personal space and make me feel disgusting.

I've got your back!
110+

one comment 
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