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My partner (a guy) and I enjoy making and wearing costumes (and in my city there is no shortage of costumed events). For Halloween, I had decided to be a video game antagonist known for the huge helmet he wears. While the helmet covered my entire face and most of my torso, anyone could still tell I was a woman because the rest of the costume was an A-line undershirt and a butcher’s apron over leggings -not skimpy but you could see my shape.
Because I have a good case of bitch-face and a fast aggressive walk, I rarely get hassled in daily life but while I was an anonymous woman wearing a mask on Halloween, I got the most harassment of my life. Even with my guy standing next to me, randoms would come over to touch me (like I was a Real Doll), to tell me how hot I was even though they couldn’t see what I looked like, and when I tilted the helmet to peer at them they would tell me to leave it on, as if I were a fetish object for their pleasure and confronting them with my personhood would ruin their good time.
Even when my partner would intervene they wouldn’t stop trying to pick me up until we relocated. Of course, when we had successfully gotten away from one jerk, another would take his place. It’s not even as if they knew my character! The worst offenders had no idea what I was even supposed to be, only that I was a woman’s body without a visible head. I have never felt so much like a piece of meat in my life. I’ve never been to a Con but think maybe now I know how the women that attend those might feel.
This happened to me while I was traveling alone in Spain, which I guess in our patriarchal and rape culture society means that by virtue of being female and alone, I was “asking for it”.
I was sitting at Plaza Mayor, just enjoying the sites and people watching while I enjoyed some down time for my feet after a full day of walking. An old man, and I don’t mean an older man, I mean a senior who was old enough to be my grandfather, sat next to me. I didn’t think anything of it, I didn’t see any kind of threat from somebody who is the age of my grandfather. He started speaking to me in Spanish, and I should have pretended that I didn’t speak Spanish, but it was an opportunity for me to practice. So I took it. The conversation continued and he kept asking me to go get coffee with me, and eventually tried to tickle me several times and slid his hand down my back to grab my ass.
I immediately stood up and told him that I had to leave, and he put on this simpering face and voice “don’t you want to go for coffee with me?!”. Absolutely horrified and feeling violated, I left the plaza citing that I had to go meet a friend. The amazing thing is that the plaza was full of people and everybody saw this happen, but nobody did a thing about it. Sadly, this was not the only incident of harassment that I had on this trip.
These combined experiences put me off so much that the next time I traveled alone, I cut my hair short so that I would look less feminine and the sad thing is that that actually worked and I was not harassed. Goes to show just how much we objectify women and those who do not fit a certain normative ideal of beauty…then we’re left alone. But we shouldn’t have to change the way we look and the way we want to look to avoid being harassed.
I leave school around the same time that the boy’s football team heads to practice everyday. I’ve never had a problem before, but today I had a random guy run up behind me a slap my ass, and continued to run. The rest of the guys burst out laughing and cheered until I started yelling at them, even then they were still laughing while saying “oh, yeah no, that wasn’t right.” I asked for that guys name from the rest of the guys, and no one would tell me. I have no clue who did it, but I was just as hurt at the fact that out of tons of guys who were there, no one bothered to help me. No one stuck up for me. I just stormed off to my car. I didn’t know what else to do. If it happens again, hell will be raised.
I was a cocktail waitress in a rock and roll bar for a number of years when I was in college. The bar was always crowded and the clientele had to rely on the wait staff to deliver the drinks as the crowd around the bar was pretty impenetrable. There was one night when one of the wait staff a friend of mine had a drink poured over her head by a guy because she didn’t get it to him fast enough. So I was already pissed off. Then as I was making my way thru the crowd to take orders without a huge tray of drinks and some guy grabbed me in the crotch and gave me a “hey baby”. Really? Without much thought I turned on the asshole, channeled my inner wonder woman, grabbed him by the front of the shirt and slammed him against the wall. I remember yelling something about “don’t you ever” with my finger in his face, and I don’t know who was more surprised- him, me or his friends. Felt good, and a little bit scary.
He was standing on the stairway entrance into the Myrtle-Willoughby station and said something to me that I couldn’t make out as I passed…he followed me. I purposely moved a few feet away to look for my subway card and as I was rummaging through my purse he ran up behind me and lifted up my sweater and grabbed my butt. I yelled at him to stop and he flashed me a thumbs up sign as he left the station
I was walking back from a party with friends- we were going to try and get a late night bus. Just as we’re approaching the bus stop, a group of guys started running at us yelling “BITCHEEES”. I wasn’t really appalled until one of them ran past me, and as he did so, he ran his hand up my leg and grabbed my butt. I always thought I would be able to say something in that kind of situation, one that was more than verbal abuse, but I didn’t. I sort of froze and just said something to my friends. I’m disappointed in myself, but I’m more disappointed in the fact that women simply walking down the street is apparently an invitation to grope and touch them.
I wanted to red flag Townsville, Australia as a big city for street harassment. It’s a city with a country vibe, a large local army base full of irritating alpha male types and very little to do…so this kind of behaviour is often seen as a right of passage for the males of the town.
The worst experience was when I and a friend were going home from the river after a day swimming and were walking on the pavement parallel to the highway. Some car full of guys actually slowed down, climbed half way out of the window and smacked my friend’s ass as he drove by in his truck. She was teeny at the time so the smack toppled her over onto her knees (grazing them quite badly) and to which they reacted to by hooting and saying “nice ass” before driving off. We didn’t get the licence plate in time to do anything about it and I’ve always been a bit bitter about the situation because we just had to deal with it in the only way we could – we just stopped walking that route home completely.
Seeing us as walking boobs and legs is just a way to pretend we’re not people, we’re not deserving of respect and we don’t have rights to our own bodies. It’s utter bullshit.
Was walking in America Mura with my friend bel. We were trying to find a cab. It was around 2am. Some guy grabbed my boob. Not brushed it, he outright palmed it. So I turned around and said “what the f*ck?!” in English. the guy was like, “sumimasen”, but he wasn’t. So I and pushed him, and he just pretended like nothing happened as i shouted at him. he slithered across the road and started following a girl in a mini skirt… Creep. I should have kicked him in the balls.
To start this story off I am 19 and in college, I have had my fair share of drunk frat guys approaching me and trying to dance/dry hump me. I even had one guy at once attempt slipping something in my drink, luckily I was paying attention and ran off with friends before he turned around.
This post isn’t about those situations though, this post is the first time that I actually am having a hard time brushing off the incident like I normally do with the college boys. I was shopping with my sisters and mom and was looking at the clearance racks. All of a sudden I feel a hand grabbing my butt and when I turn around there is a really creepy older man wearing a bright neon hat he looks at me with no emotion and in a robotic tone says “Oh, Sorry” then began to shuffle the way out of the store. The reason it creeps me out the most is because it was elevated where I was standing and there was a fence like structure a foot behind me, this guy was on a ramp behind the fence structure, he deliberately put his hand through the railing and stretched to grab my but, and nobody else around me saw.
I stood there in shock at out he can just so blatantly grope me and then walk away with no sort of shame or punishment, and I kick myself today because I didn’t react differently. I was able to tell my sisters and point to him when he was almost out the door but he still left and was likely to do it to another woman if he had the chance. Now I am nervous to go out shopping or wear shorts again, and my shorts were not even that short but for some reason I still blame myself for what happened, maybe if I hadn’t been wearing shorts that day that wouldn’t have happened? I just felt gross all day yesterday because of it, I lost the ability to enjoy that shopping trip with my family because I was constantly making sure he wasn’t around and that I never had my back turned. Well I guess this is enough of my rambling, but I just really wish that guy gets caught doing what he’s doing and gets some form of punishment but I doubt that will happen.
Last year, my family and I (17 years old) went to India to visit my grandparents. We are from South India and have never gone to see the Taj Mahal (in North India). Because of this my grandparents booked us all (my mom, brother, aunt, cousin, themselves, and myself) tickets to travel to North India. Near the end of our week long stay there (which was going so well) we decided to go to a Hindu temple and pray. On the way there, we decided to hold hands with each other as it was very crowded and the area was hard to navigate. I decided to hold my aunt’s since she was standing closest to me. As we started walking, I noticed a man walking straight towards me as if he was going to run into me. Slightly unnerved by this but otherwise unsuspectingly I just made sure to move a little closer to my aunt and keep my distance from him. We continued walking, and as I passed the man, he stuck his arm out in my way and made sure to rub it against my inner thigh (I’m still not sure if he was trying to grab my crotch instead)! In that moment, I became extremely fearful of him and felt like bawling my eyes out from the humiliation. I mean, come on! He touched one of my most private areas in public, in front of my family nonetheless! I felt humiliated and dirty the rest of the trip (especially since after that we were going to temples and praying)! I was just really glad my family was there; I fear what he would have done if I was alone.