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The first time I was harassed, I was seven, sitting in a movie theater, watching a kids’ movie. A man came and sat-down next to me. He put his hand on my seat and spread his fingers open, trying to touch me as I squeezed over as far to my left as I could get without leaving my seat. (Changing seats never occurred to me; I was a shy child.) Maybe the creepiest part of the whole creepy thing is that as he left, he dropped three dollars into my popcorn, which was quite a bit for a kid in 1958. I was so innocent, I was totally bewildered.
An interesting footnote is that I was groped again in a movie theater, in Denver, CO, when I was in my late twenties. The man behind me put his hand through the space between the chairs and touched me on the breast. I chased him out of the theater but gave it up when he ran out the door.
I just walked into a grocery store to get some grossly overpriced desserts. As I was walking towards the store, a dude pivoted on the street and followed me into the store. He was talking at me a million miles a minute asking me about myself and whether he could hug me and telling me how beautiful I was. I said absolutely fucking not. Then he started to try to hug me and when I told him “not to fucking touch me,” I walked away.
He grabbed my arm, but I wrenched it away and repeated that he shouldn’t touch me. He also kept insisting I buy him things and asking me if I wanted have sex with him. When he asked if he should just leave and I said that he should, he stole a bunch of shit on the way out. No one batted an eye. When he left I asked “did anyone see that? did anyone at all see that?”, but no one had even looked up.
This is something that I witnessed, but it is for sure going to be one of those moments that I will never forget.
I was about 15. I was with my sisters at the bus stop waiting for the the bus to come by one afternoon on a very busy day.
The bus finally comes and everyone at the bus stop immediately go up to the bus to be the first one to board and claim a seat all the while those that were on the bus are struggling to unboard. I decided to step back and just wait till everything calmed down, and what I saw next shocked me and choked me up.
There was an old man, probably in his 80′s, unboarding, who due to his old age had a hard time coming down the steps of the bus. I then notice that when he finally makes it down, a young man, probably in his 20′s, grope his crotch and doesn’t let go for what seems like a long few seconds. The young man then casually goes up the steps and boards the bus. The old man, however, has a look of shock on his face. I see humiliation and sadness then set over him as he looks around, probably to see if anyone had witnessed this act. He stands there for a few seconds, very still, in the middle of the chaotic crowd. Humiliated. Then slowly walks away with a look on his face that I will never forget.
I felt absolutely horrible. One, because of what happened to him, and two, for not doing anything. I don’t think I will forgive myself for not stepping up.
This old man, who instead of being respected, was violated in one of the worst ways possible. What a sad scene to see a weak old man, who probably had so much to be proud of in his long life, be humiliated like this.
This goes to show that sexual harassers just violate people because they like the power of the harm they cause. It has nothing to do with what the victim is wearing at all, as many people like to think.
This was last summer (2013), I got off the train on my way to meet a friend when I felt the hand (backside of a hand) brush my butt. I quickly turned around and looked right at the guy who actually jumped at my quick reaction and he tried to walk off as if nothing happened. I followed after him so I could take his picture, he ducked into a pizza place on the corner near the train stop and rushed out the front door.
I had already called my friend who rushed to meet me but the guy was long gone…I got a pic of him though (from behind).
I live in Maryland right outside of DC. When I was at the liquor store some guy told me several times how pretty I am, how much he liked my hair, etc. it was clear that he was drunk. He then proceeded to ask to come over and drink with me. He came close and started to touch my hair.
He got pissed when I said no and I eventually gave him a fake number to get him to leave me alone. The store owner had to step in when this guy started yelling. It was awful.
I was in my Band class during a week of free days. During free days, we are allowed to do practically whatever we want in the class so long as we stay inside, obey school rules, and don’t bother the directors. Well, I was hanging out with some friends of mine. We were talking, enjoying ourselves, and being a typical group of high school girls. We saw a fellow student whom we knew looking confused and lonely by himself so we invited him to our group. He was a cute but kinda awkward guy who used to date a friend of ours. Well, over the course of the week, he became paticularly interested in me. He started off staring at my boobs (which I was used to from guys so I didn’t think anything of it). He slowly progressed to grabbing and fondling my boobs, touching my ass, and generally harassing me.
I never did anything about it or even called him out on it because he was usually such a nice guy, and he never did anything like this to his ex girlfriend so I assumed that it was fine and just me. At that time, I already was not comfortable with my figure because of the harassment I had heard about some of my friends and was trying to hide my figure. I did have other friends around at the time, but they didn’t do anything, probably because they had also been harassing me.
I was working in Paris and my best friend came to visit me so we went out to a bar. The bouncer, who was supposed to check our IDs only asked us each in turn if we were 18. I was annoyed by his laziness and when he asked me I replied, no I’m 13.
He responded by saying, “You aren’t thirteen,” and then groping my breasts, “These aren’t thirteen”. I was so shocked, I just walked into the bar without saying anything or reporting him. I still regret not speaking up for myself.
I had decided to take a short-cut from the cantonment Stn through a small mound as I was late for work. I saw a group of dogs around its base. I was about to take the longer way when I saw a man walking towards the mound. I decided to follow him. On reaching the peak I saw another dog & started to turn around when he grabbed my left arm grazing my breast. I shrugged it off and continued down. He once again groped my left breast. I pushed him off me & slid down & ran as fast as I could to work.
I attended a show at the House of Blues alone. My boyfriend recently broke up with me and my friends were in Vegas. I sometimes go to events because I enjoy spending time alone and I needed to listen to live music as my form of therapy. There I was in the crowd enjoying the show, feeling happy and energetic and safe. I felt someone’s hand on my butt and I looked back but the only people directly behind me was a girl and her bf. I couldn’t see anyone who looked guilty so I just turned around and thought that was it. Not even a minute later I feel someone’s fingers on my vagina. I was wearing a skirt with pantyhose. I whipped my head around and again the same couple only this time the girl pointed at a guy next to her. Without thinking I shoved him violently and yelled at him not to f*cking touch me. He looked at me and said I didn’t do anything.
I turned back around and tried to keep watching the show but my entire being was burning. I felt so violated, so humiliated, so angry. My eyes filled with tears I felt like I was going to explode and I thought no that is not enough he needs to feel how I feel. A guy next to me noticed I was on the verge of breaking down so he asked me what was wrong. I told him and he reacted how I expected, he immediately got security’s attention and I told that security what happened. I turned back to the girl to ask her if she was 100% sure it was him. She said yes.
That security then signaled to a bigger security behind me and that security pulled me out of the crowd and up to his level. I told him what happened and I pointed out the guy. At that moment he and 3 other men went in the crowd, pulled the guy out and escorted him to the street. They allowed me to stand with them the rest of the night, asked me if I was okay, told me no girl should ever go through that and told me they roughed they go up for me so he knows never to do that again. I know someone people in my life tell me im partially to blame because of what I wore or because I went alone (my ex included). I do not agree with this and I am thankful for the men that made me feel safe and my feelings valid that night.
It’s Halloween weekend in Baltimore. My friends and I put in our time at the restaurant we served at, enjoyed some libations at the bar we frequented, and were walking to 711 for some good old fashioned convenience store treats. There were four of us, all women, enroute when all of a sudden I felt my skirt raise and someone place their hands on both butt cheeks and did what I could only say is juggled them. I, stunned, pulled my skirt down and slowly turned around. The man who did this was running in the direction he came from and never turned around as one of my friends yelled obscenities at him.
I stood there in a daze wondering what it was that I did to invoke such behavior. Was I targeted because I was fat and in the back, an easy target. Was I targeted because of my skirt? I mean, it was my uniform. I had to wear a black, above the knee tight skirt. Was it because of my clown accessories; striped socks, rainbow suspenders, and over sized glasses? We continued to the store talking about the incident and what would compel someone to do such a thing.
My friend, the one yelling obscenities to the man who groped me, approached Captain America, remember it was halloween, at the coffee bar asking where he was when the assault happened. He replied,” look at what she’s wearing.” I don’t remember the rest because I was utterly shocked to hear this come out of someone’s mouth. I thought it myself but to hear it out loud was mind bending. My friends and I eventually started making light of the situation calling the assaulter “The Butt Juggler” and laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. This was just over a year ago and it wasn’t until I stumbled upon this movement that i realized what I experienced was assault. Who knows what would’ve happened if I was alone. What if he didn’t run away but further his assault? I was lucky. So many women, and men, aren’t.