Athens GA, Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Denver, Des Moines, Duke University, NC, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Flagstaff, AZ, Houston, Iowa City, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Lubbock TX, Manhattan KS, Muncie IN, New Orleans, New York City, Oneonta, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Providence, Richmond VA, San Fernando Valley, San Francisco, Twin Cities, West Georgia (University)
I experience incidents everyday during my commute to the city. Some are “smaller” incidents like a man breathing in my face or holding his phone in an unusual position to photograph me and some are more serious incidents like being touched inappropriately. A few years ago, I experienced one of the more serious incidents. I was sitting on the train and reading something and didn’t notice that a man was standing in front of me. After I looked up from what I was reading, I noticed that his pants were unzipped and he was flashing me. I was shocked; I had never experienced anything like that and I thought I must have been mistaken. But when I looked again, I saw that I wasn’t wrong. At that point, the other people sitting next to me, including a middle aged man and a young woman, got up from their seats and began to move away. I wasn’t just shocked that I was being harassed, I was shocked that no one thought to help. Not one person who got up thought to tell me that someone was harassing me and not one of them tried to help. When I noticed that everyone had stood up, I stood up too and moved away. But he followed and I was too shocked to move to a different car. I still remember what he looks like and what he was wearing.
This happened three years ago, when I was in the 8th grade. Honestly just thinking about it now makes me angry. Me, my mom and my younger sister were walking around the apartment complexes (exercising). There were these stairs, and on the stairs was this white male. I didn’t pay attention to him because I thought he’s probably out for a smoke. We walked past him and like my mom was way ahead of me and my sis, so she didn’t hear him when he was whisper shouting ‘hey!’ The third time he said that, I looked back because maybe he needed help? But when I did, it was sick. His pants was down and the look on his face was weird & terrible. He flashed us. My younger sister saw too and we were shocked. I wish in that moment I had a rock to damage him. He then took off running when I hollered for mom.
Since that happened, I feel uneasy still when we drive by those stairs.. I feel like I need to take some switchblades or at least a rock to throw if we ever come across something like that. This experience has opened my eyes in a bad way.. And I wish it didn’t.
A man in his late 30’s and early 40’s was walking up and down inside the A,C,E train platform (Chambers Street) as I was waiting to catch a train. About 145-165 pounds and about 5’6″ or 5’8,” with fringe bangs and a bowl hair cut. He came up really close behind me and sniffed my hair. As I was pretty shaken up by this, I turned around and saw him jerking off his erect penis. I told a nearby couple and they saw him too, but they just kept their distance (the woman screamed, her boyfriend was appalled). The perpetrator, still with penis in hand, jacking off, walked up the stairs and disappeared. He had a tan jacket.
I was sitting in a coffee shop on Dupont Circle at the bar facing the windows on Connecticut Ave and noticed a man parked directly across the sidewalk was watching me from his car. I realized after a minute that he was touching himself, and eventually saw that he wasn’t wearing pants. I tried to get a picture of him (included) but people were walking by so he stopped. He continued after they passed so I got up to leave. I tried also to get a picture of his license plate but he drove away quickly when I got up. He was an older white man wearing a yellow reflective safety vest in a bright blue pick-up truck with a construction rack in the bed and Maryland plates.
This is a follow up story to the one I posted a few days ago. So, I’m at a friends house trying to get some comfort from a bad breakup and my friends male roomate is taking every opportunity to show off his penis to me without my consent or desire to see it. He had revealed himself earlier in the evening after my friend was asleep and then again a few hours later. I had went to bed, he was still awake watching TV when I came back out to the kitchen to get a glass of water, sensing another opportunity to flash his penis, he pretended he had to go to the bathroom which is located right next to the room i was staying in. As I finished getting my glass of water, I walked back to the room only to see my friends roomate standing with his penis out peeing into the toilet, door wide open. He pretended to be sorry that he had forgotten to close the door but by this point I was pissed. I went into my room, turned on my phone camera and snapped the pictures i submitted with this post. The closer up picture I snapped where he could see me. After I snapped it he got really nervous and asked what I was going to do with it, I told him I was going to post here and use it against him if he ever tried to do anything like that again. I cussed him out for about ten minutes which woke up my roomate who also cussed him out and threatened to call the police. Are all men such disgusting pigs?
I was staying the night at my friends home during a rather bad time in my life (breakup with boyfriend) and it was really late at night but I was not tired, I left my room and went into her kitchen to grab something to eat and noticed her roomate (Male, but they aren’t dating) sitting on a chair in the living room adjacent to the kitchen. I had talked to him a few times and he seemed like a really nice guy, was also very attractive. He made a comment which drew me over to the couch that butts up against the recliner he was sitting in. He had a laptop sitting on the arm of the chair with a pornographic forums website up called dick flash. He told me he stumbled across it by accident and told me about a video of girl getting flashed by a guy who was asking for directions. I told him that was crazy and he asked me what I would do in that same situation, I told him I wasn’t sure but that it would probably depend if i got a creepy vibe from the guy like he wanted to rape or kill me.
I had put something in the microwave and went to fetch it before coming back to sit on the couch and watch TV for a few minutes. A few minutes later I was looking through my phone pictures about to post something on Facebook and noticed out of the corner of my eye his hand moving up and down behind a pillow, a sinking feeling came over me when I realized what he was probably doing, wanting proof for my friend i turned my phone on camera mode and waited. A few minutes later he said “hey check this out”, somehow the words didn’t register that he was about to flash me and I looked over at the computer thinking that is what he had referred to and when nothing notable showed up i realized he was probably doing what you could imagine he was doing… masturbating. His penis wasn’t hard and I was able to snap a photo of it. I acted disgusted and got up and left. I went to my roomates room and woke her up shaking. It was so pathetic, what a creeper.
In Spain, walking at 11pm by myself through the city of Santander to meet up my friends for a pregame when I see a man in the middle of the sidewalk just standing there. I start getting a strange feeling until he turns to the side and I see his erect genitals. I stop in the tracks, horrified and turn down the closest street I can as fast as I can before he can see me. The fear I felt was intense, I was forced into panic mode to try and get away. It was a scarring, horrible experience.
The first time a man exposed himself to me I was 11 years old in Cinncinnati, Ohio.
I am now nearly 50 and I have gotten so used to ignoring street harassment that I stopped thinking about it years ago.
The list of serious street harassment experiences I have had is so long that it is pointless to list them all. Everything from the city worker in city uniform in a city truck wiggling his tongue through the crotch of his fingers, to men brazenly grabbing my ass as I walk down the sidewalk, to the every day “you’d look good on me”, and nowadays:”You still lookin’ good for an old lady, you a cougar baby?”….and the kissing sounds, those are the most revolting.
I’ve learned to ignore them, stay aware from those parts of town, and not to use the train or bus because of the harassment. It’s just not worth it to deal with it.
Sadly: it is just become a background factor in my life. I just live accepting that this is the way it has always been and will always be: no one has ever done anything about it, bystanders often laugh or jump in and join the harasser. You can call the cops, but they do not take reports. I have even had them say “Why do you want to report this and ruin the poor guy’s life?” or some other version of “boys will be boys.”
Now I watch the same thing happening to my daughter and I am furious.
Stopped at the gas station for a snack and the bathroom. I walked in the bathroom to find a man with his pants around his knees and his junk clearly visible. Ran out of bathroom (women’s) and told clerk. She didn’t care. Called police, they also did nothing, despite this man flashing in the women’s bathroom. I was told I was mistaken.
This is not the first time this has happened to me in New York City. Actually the 4th. I grew up here. And am aware of my surroundings. This morning a young guy – looked relatively normal – was looking at me from the platform. I was sitting inside the R train. One other man was in my train car but seated in the opposite direction.
The young guy exposed himself and was masturbating towards me. I didn’t know how to react. Normally I would say something but I realized I then didn’t trust the other male in the train car with me. My instinct was to look down. I cried realizing it ruined my judgement of the other male who could have been a nice person.
As an after thought I should have maybe taken a photo to report him. Wish I could do something more.