This Dude encountered me on the Subway last night. He was wolf whistling and grunting and gesturing. When I realized that he wasn’t having a seizure and was trying to get my attention, I asked him if I could take his photo. He replied that he, “no speak english.” I guess sexual harassment is the Universal Language Dude.
This goes back a while (when cell phones were still the size of a cinderblock so a camera phone was out of the question) but is still fresh in my memory because it was so … uh, special.
My best friend Betty and I were stopped at an intersection in Asheville, NC waiting for a light to change when we noticed to two fine gentlemen in the truck across the intersection signaling their clear admiration of our great intellect and beauty by sharing the international sign for WE WANT TO SCREW YOU: the finger of one hand poked assertively through a circle made by the thumb and forefinger of the other hand. Classy! Their dopey, leering grins only added to the charm of the whole situation.
Unfortunately, Betty and I were unable to take advantage of this glorious opportunity because WE’RE NOT STUPID.
God, what morons.
written by Jane.