i get harassed repeatably almost to the point I hate going outside.. I’m from New Orleans i just thought maybe it was this city that guys are like that but when i got to new york it got worst, guys stopping their cars in traffic and blowing and yelling until i say something, being called “black bitch” and “ho” for not saying more than hi, and worst of all BEING GRABBED and having to RUN …its like WHY DO YOU DO THAT, where do you get that from…closet full of nice clothes I’m afraid to wear because i know that i will be severely harassed, thing is it doesn’t matter what I look like it or wear —it happens EVERY TIME, I almost go out my way to look as bad a possible not to be shouted/cursed/grabbed… I fear walking down the street, catching the subway, doing anything .. daily.
I was at the mall with my boyfriend and I saw a group of men several times in the mall (in different stores, etc). They were being loud, obnoxious, and yelling things. When I was waiting for my boyfriend while he was in the bathroom (alone w/o him obviously), the group of men were walking toward me. I ignored them by pretending to use my phone and they were being super loud, I looked up, and one of them was looking me up/down, did the gross head nod thing, and they were all saying stuff. They were also chasing after a group of women who were leaving the mall (after the thing with me). The women were like, leave us alone. The men were walking in front of the women, backward, trying to get them to do something. Thankfully, they left them alone. Interesting this happened when I was not with my boyfriend, too. Sad I have to be with a man in order for this shit not to happen!
Okay…I had to vent this somewhere and this just seemed like a good place (SO don’t want to tell my mom)
Aside from the days where my school (an all-girls Catholic school mind you) have half-days, we leave the school in our sweaters & amp; skirts (some change or some don’t have a choice) and go down to the restaurants and such up the way; we deal with the occasional men…I say MEN and not “boys” b/c we don’t see much unless members of the all-boys school (that my school does an exchange program with) are around.
Anyway back to my story….
Keep our uniforms in mind: we don’t have porno star-fantasy school-girl skirts of THAT length but they are shorter than “normal”…we have black sweaters and since this happened in the winter, stockings (knee socks in spring etc.)
I have a part time job after school that I’ve had since I was a freshman…I and another peer/coworker of mine used to walk to work b/c back then the bus used to take a really long time to arrive so by the time it came we’d already be at work…it was a couple of blocks especially with our backpacks and stuff (sometimes I was leered at) but I was fine so long as I walked quickly and kept to myself.
Since junior year, my coworker and I discovered that if we book it right after packing up etc. and getting to the bus stop, we’d make it to work by 3…This day was a good day until what happened to me.
I was waiting for the bus as normal, I took off my sweater b/c it was pretty nice out and I figured I’d just hold it. After a couple of minutes, the bus finally comes and one thing I notice about today is that it’s a little on the cold side…I’m kind of sensitive to that…Lol!
So I sit down in the front like I always do, fix any creases in my skirt…right facing a man who’s in all black, crumbs on himself, mirror sunglasses, unkempt hair and reeks of a really bad odor…
I turn to a man who’s sitting across the way who sort of looks annoyed (don’t know how long he’s been on) but he had earphones in…
Trying not to be disrespectful, I just keep to myself and wait for my stop. The whole time I felt as though this dirty old man was watching me…I look over for one second and all I is him taking a swig out of his can of (whatever) and his pink tongue just flicking either at me or whatever…
Getting annoyed and self-conscious of my chest now (remember it’s cold!) and the rest of me I look towards my upcoming stop and start tapping on the yellow sticker…I figured I won’t give this guy any attention if in fact he’s paying a lot towards me…
To be honest, this isn’t the first time I’ve received male attention (and I’m underage, and even look so) but this was just disgusting…
Maybe I’m being conceited and he wasn’t looking at me at all…but the image stuck w/ me for days and completely bothers me…
More so his tongue and his odor—I have a thing for hygiene but still…
And what bothers me even more, is that even if it got out of hand…I didn’t seem as if anyone else on the bus (which aren’t many) would do anything…
Completely disgusting and I hope I never see that man again…
Dear Middle Aged Man wearing a hat on the TTC:
I was on my way to a formal event at my law school. I thought I was looking nice and I was excited for my night, but as soon as I got on the subway I felt uncomfortable. People were staring. I guess that’s to be expected, though: it’s not every day that you see a woman in a cocktail dress and stilettos on a train full of commuters, in daylight.
As we get closer to Downsview, I move towards the doors and stand holding onto one of the poles with one hand for balance. The subway was no longer packed. You held onto that same pole. You put your hand on my hand. I thought it was an accident, so I politely moved my hand away. You put your hand on my hand again. I moved my hand again. The train lurched, I didn’t want to fall. You put your hand on my hand again. I moved my hand and kept looking straight ahead. We arrived at the station, the doors open and I made a quick exit. I walked as fast as my formal wear would allow. I didn’t look back, I think you followed for a little while.
At the end of my commute I washed my hands twice.
Two bastard tourists was in front of a hotel when i passed by at night. They started talking to me “mmm mama, mamacita, come on!”
I’m so exhausted to just listen to sexism bullsh*t and do nothing, that I want to scream and beat them with all my strength. I want to rip off all sexist testicles.
On 3-8-2011 I went for a interview with a manager at a shoe store. The interview went well and he said that he would callback if he thought I was right for the job. He said that he was looking to hire a person to help open the store Harlem, NY. On 3-15-2011 he left a message stating that he would like to setup a second interview. I called up and one of the girls said that he wasn’t there which I thought was odd, so I told her I will show up the following day. When I got there I spoke to one of the associates and he said he would show up just wait a second. So I went to the waiting area. Five minutes later he shows up and acts as if he never called. He denied the phone call and acted like I was stalking him. I gave him my phone with the message and again denied the conversation. He humiliated me made me feel ashamed when all I wanted to do was the right thing, get work. Then I get a phone call from the District Manger and he acted non-chalante,”Well, what do you want me to do about it” I told him thought he might be on drugs. He brushed it off and said “what do you want me to do about it”…I think he’s a misogynist who gets off on demeaning woman. I should’ve taken a picture of him. But who knows maybe he’s changed his look. Who knows if he bullies the black woman or the gay men that work there. In this day in age when the dollar holds so much value and we all should take into consideration how we are treated and where we should spend our money, that store is a bad investment.
A group of guys were in front of a corner store. I was walking down the street with my mom. I was about 17 years old. When we passed them, they called me out identifying me by what I had on. I wasn’t dressed provocatively. I had on baggy jeans and sneakers and a tee shirt. They started kissing and hissing at me asking me if they could walk with me and asking if I can have my number. I shook my head no and kept walking. They kept calling at me and I just ignored them. When I got about a block away one of em yelled out to me, called me a b*tch and threw a bottle at me!
The glass broke just near my feet and shattered near my mom and I. My mom wanted to go back and cuss them out but that wouldn’t have been a good idea since it was a group of them and there were only two of us. So we walked away.
Now I am in my 30s (though I look like Im in my 20s) and I still deal with Harassment. Nobody has thrown a bottle at me but I still get hissed at, kissed at and cat called. I have even had my hand grabbed on different occasions. What is wrong with people!? I dont get why people feel so comfortable invading peoples personal space and being disrespectful. Then when you tell them not to touch you or to leave you alone, they get mad like YOU did something wrong.
The latest in one of so many of these situations was on my way home from Tufnell Park tube station. I walked past the pub just outside the tube where a man was smoking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look me up and down, make a noise of approval and decided the most appropriate comment was ‘ooo, ‘ello’. Lovely. I looked at him in disgust and carried on walking. I never like to reply to such people for fear of my safety even if it leaves me fuming.
One of the worst situations was coming home late at night from a party with 2 female friends, this was in Hales Place, Canterbury. A man on a bike came up level with us with his crown jewels in hand and started rubbing himself. He said ‘you girls look gagging for it’ and continued to follow us until he realised we wouldn’t give him a reaction.
Even when walking along holding hands with my 6 foot boyfriend doesn’t seem to put off some people. For example a car-full of teenage morons who decided to hang out of their windows, making rude gestures. On this occasion I decided to retaliate as not only did this offend me, but both of us as to sexually harrass a girl in front of her boyfriend just seems beyond rudeness. So I gave them the finger. Childish, but seemingly appropriate.
Although I had been harassed in the street prior to this incident this is the first time I felt frightened. Even though it was midday on a saturday and I was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt a man in a car decided to approach me, a then 15 year old girl on her own. As he slowed down next to me and said “Hey”, I stopped as I naively thought he might be looking for directions at he was at a dead end. He asked me if I was with anyone and I stupidly said I was alone. He went on to ask if I wanted a lift to wherever I was going, for my number, even though I was obviously underage. It ended when I speeded up walking away down a pedestrian only walkway so he couldn’t follow me. After this I felt scared and wondered what I had done to encourage such behavior. I felt guilty for talking to him, and for thinking he had innocent intentions. Now, as a twenty year old woman, I face harassment every day in the bar I work at and have no problem putting men back in their place! I know now where to draw the line when it comes to “friendly” conversations.
I was crossing the street and some mid 20 year old guy made fake orgasm sounds. >:(