Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Columbia MO, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
I’m walking to the public library that is across my small town from where I live. I was walking alone (yes I am in highschool walking through my city alone, but I keep my hand in my pocket with my keys between my knuckles at all times, as my town is known for douchebag stoners hitting on girls my age)
Anyways, I’m walking and come to a stop to wait for the crosswalk. Across the intersection to my right were two homely looking men with large coats and hair that hadn’t been washed in weeks; these two men j-walked across the street, running and pointing at me as the got closer and closer to me. “Hey!” one of them shouted. As naturally as I could I ignored them until they got right behind me.
“Hey my name is [i dont remember] and hey maybe you wanted to come hang out with me and my bud, if youre into that stuff” and I repeated no to each of their offers. When it finally came to the point of, “hey I never caught your name!” and I replied with “Ker” and he shook my hand, and without letting go of my hand he asked me my last name which I replied with, “you have no reason to care about that” which to my relief made them back up and away from me. After I repeatedly pressed the crosswalk button to save me he asked me the most revolting question of all…
“Hey girl, how old are you?” which I replied with “too young for you to be screwing around with.” “So you arent 18?” which I was really pissed off at this point and yelled “NO! goodbye.” “Fine fine” and he turned around to his bud and said “damn, what do they FEED the girls around here?!”
I do not deserve to live in a world where I am confronted with these people when i’m just trying to walk around!
My new years resolution is not taking this crap anymore, so I am posting again because this week has been full of harassment.
Thursday June 6th, 2013
A guy followed me for three blocks. I had my phone out and was violently texting people my location, and had my pepperspray in hand. I walked as fast as I could. Finally, I came to a busy intersection and ran across the street. Since there was some distance between us I screamed at him. I was pretty furious at this point. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!? ARE YOU A FUCKING RAPIST MUGGER OR SOMETHING!? IF MY ROOMMATE DOESN’T HEAR FROM ME IN TEN MINUTES HE’S CALLING THE COPS! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME!?” He was really embarrassed. “I just thought you were really pretty and wanted your number…” I didn’t let him finish before I flipped out again. “FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK! FUCK NO YOU FUCKING CREEP! GO THE FUCK AWAY!” I just screamed at him until he rounded the corner.
Saturday June 8th, 2013On the way back from work I got harassed by 3 different men in cars. As I was crossing the street one guy demanded to see my breasts. I screamed at him and gave him the finger and kept walking. He called me an “ugly slut,” and all sorts of other names. I really wish I had kicked the bumper of their car in, or walked up behind it and taken a photo of the license plate to post here. Considering that he was in a car full of other men who did nothing to stop him, they deserved to have their bumper kicked in. The next person who harassed me was a college aged guy with glasses with the glass punched out who was stoned out of his mind and sitting in the back seat of a car. He yelled that I was sexy, and I kept moving still pissed off from the previous car. The third car was the scariest, a guy pulled up near me and followed me for a block asking for my number. He wouldn’t leave me alone until I picked up my phone and acted like I was going to call the cops. Once again, pissed that I didn’t get the license plate number.
I was walking down Jordan, one of the most traversed roads in my town, and this old beat-up truck pulled over and slowed to keep pace with me. The guy in the truck rolled down his window and let out a long, loud wolf-whistle, eyebrows waggling, the whole shebang. I decided if they were going to try to catch my attention like you would a dog’s, I would respond in the only appropriate way: I barked. The idiot’s eyes went wide, shocked and offended. He sped up and drove off, middle finger out the window.
There is a major intersection between my apartment and the nearest grocery store. Almost every time I walk there, at least one man harasses me. Usually it’s some guy telling me to smile or calling me “babe” or “sexy.” No amount of rolling my eyes or talking on the phone deters them. But every now and then a guy will try to get me into his car. This terrifies me, especially as I’m 5’2″ and 115lb – pepper spray and self defense could only get me so far against a determined, beefy man and his car.
I was on light rail with my bike, and a tall 30-something drunk (reeking of booze) guy came up to me: “you is so motha fuckin cute. yo eyes go. they goooooo” I said thanks and looked away. I was wearing headphones, I hoped he would get the memo. He then proceeded to poke my stomach “oh I thought you was fat you just wearin a big shirt” I told him not to touch me and continued looking the other way, (with an incredibly annoyed face on) He then grabs a lock of my hair and tells me I look like a porn star. I backed up and was caught between my bike, someone else’s bike, and the stairs to the car door. He was at least a foot and a half taller than me. He continued to stare at me and I told him to please leave me alone. He started rambling slurs and curse words and moved up the train. I noticed him heckling some girls that had just got on after the high school. The train car was full of witnesses, older, bigger people who could have said something to him when he touched me and grabbed my hair but no one did.
Not a great start to the day. At 9am I’m standing waiting for the crosswalk at a busy intersection in my town and this kid (maybe 18 or 19) is leaning up against a wall and he starts saying “You’re sexy…What are you up to…We should hang out sometime”. Kind of repeating this over and over. The area was filled with people all going about their business. So I called him out- loudly – and told him to leave me alone. It made a scene and got everyone’s attention.
I know sometimes it’s dangerous to try to stand up for yourself, when you’re one on one with a harasser. But when someone’s victimizing you like that they want to feel tougher and more in control than you. But, when there’s a crowd of people on your side- you take back control!
Stopped into a pub for a nightcap and some food after attending a fun lecture elsewhere. I used to feel safe at this neighborhood pub but things have changed. I sat at the far end of the bar where there are no gambling machines and drank my wine. Drunk guy comes over from mid bar to tell me “how pretty I am”. “Thank you. I have a boyfriend”. He leaves for a minute but comes back protesting to his friend “how pretty I am”. Clearly not caring that I don’t wish to talk to him at all! “please leave me alone” I say and I get up and go to the bathroom – hoping he will go sit down and leave me alone. After spending extra time in the bathroom I come back out. He’s still there! The random guy next to me tells him to leave me alone. I ask for my check and prepare to leave. He keeps trying to talk to me. After having asked three times and being frustrated I took my purse and hit him in the head with it. :). It worked! Everyone laughed at him which made him leave! I will use that move again. Wanted to share.
Some d-bag walked by me (I had headphones on) and he said “I wanna eat your p*ssy”. Guess he didn’t think I could hear him but don’t worry, I did. And I. Lit. Him. Up. I shouted a large array of expletives at the guy, flipped him off, generally tried to cause him to suffer incredible embarrassment. It pisses me off when people tell me I shouldn’t have said anything and that I compromised my safety (even though it was noon on a Tuesday). My safety was already compromised by the fact that a loser piece of sh*t thought he could TRY to intimidate me. I don’t think so, bub.
walking to the supermarket (15 minutes) in thick tights and a jumper.
a man went ‘mmm’ as i walked past him, a van full of men and a car full of men both gawked at me and turned to stare at me, a car full of boys yelled at me, and a man in a van beeped at me.
it felt devaluing and intimidating.
About 1PM I got off the bus and began to walk home with my groceries. A car with at least 2 men slowed down, and yelled that they wanted to give me a ride. I avoided eye contact, and waived them off. Offers for rides are especially upsetting, because of the implied threat: that they want to get me in a situation where I am not in control of where I go or what happens to me.