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My new years resolution is not taking this crap anymore, so I am posting again because this week has been full of harassment.
Thursday June 6th, 2013
A guy followed me for three blocks. I had my phone out and was violently texting people my location, and had my pepperspray in hand. I walked as fast as I could. Finally, I came to a busy intersection and ran across the street. Since there was some distance between us I screamed at him. I was pretty furious at this point. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!? ARE YOU A FUCKING RAPIST MUGGER OR SOMETHING!? IF MY ROOMMATE DOESN’T HEAR FROM ME IN TEN MINUTES HE’S CALLING THE COPS! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME!?” He was really embarrassed. “I just thought you were really pretty and wanted your number…” I didn’t let him finish before I flipped out again. “FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK! FUCK NO YOU FUCKING CREEP! GO THE FUCK AWAY!” I just screamed at him until he rounded the corner.
Saturday June 8th, 2013On the way back from work I got harassed by 3 different men in cars. As I was crossing the street one guy demanded to see my breasts. I screamed at him and gave him the finger and kept walking. He called me an “ugly slut,” and all sorts of other names. I really wish I had kicked the bumper of their car in, or walked up behind it and taken a photo of the license plate to post here. Considering that he was in a car full of other men who did nothing to stop him, they deserved to have their bumper kicked in. The next person who harassed me was a college aged guy with glasses with the glass punched out who was stoned out of his mind and sitting in the back seat of a car. He yelled that I was sexy, and I kept moving still pissed off from the previous car. The third car was the scariest, a guy pulled up near me and followed me for a block asking for my number. He wouldn’t leave me alone until I picked up my phone and acted like I was going to call the cops. Once again, pissed that I didn’t get the license plate number.
I was walking down Jordan, one of the most traversed roads in my town, and this old beat-up truck pulled over and slowed to keep pace with me. The guy in the truck rolled down his window and let out a long, loud wolf-whistle, eyebrows waggling, the whole shebang. I decided if they were going to try to catch my attention like you would a dog’s, I would respond in the only appropriate way: I barked. The idiot’s eyes went wide, shocked and offended. He sped up and drove off, middle finger out the window.
There is a major intersection between my apartment and the nearest grocery store. Almost every time I walk there, at least one man harasses me. Usually it’s some guy telling me to smile or calling me “babe” or “sexy.” No amount of rolling my eyes or talking on the phone deters them. But every now and then a guy will try to get me into his car. This terrifies me, especially as I’m 5’2″ and 115lb – pepper spray and self defense could only get me so far against a determined, beefy man and his car.
I was on light rail with my bike, and a tall 30-something drunk (reeking of booze) guy came up to me: “you is so motha fuckin cute. yo eyes go. they goooooo” I said thanks and looked away. I was wearing headphones, I hoped he would get the memo. He then proceeded to poke my stomach “oh I thought you was fat you just wearin a big shirt” I told him not to touch me and continued looking the other way, (with an incredibly annoyed face on) He then grabs a lock of my hair and tells me I look like a porn star. I backed up and was caught between my bike, someone else’s bike, and the stairs to the car door. He was at least a foot and a half taller than me. He continued to stare at me and I told him to please leave me alone. He started rambling slurs and curse words and moved up the train. I noticed him heckling some girls that had just got on after the high school. The train car was full of witnesses, older, bigger people who could have said something to him when he touched me and grabbed my hair but no one did.
Not a great start to the day. At 9am I’m standing waiting for the crosswalk at a busy intersection in my town and this kid (maybe 18 or 19) is leaning up against a wall and he starts saying “You’re sexy…What are you up to…We should hang out sometime”. Kind of repeating this over and over. The area was filled with people all going about their business. So I called him out- loudly – and told him to leave me alone. It made a scene and got everyone’s attention.
I know sometimes it’s dangerous to try to stand up for yourself, when you’re one on one with a harasser. But when someone’s victimizing you like that they want to feel tougher and more in control than you. But, when there’s a crowd of people on your side- you take back control!
Stopped into a pub for a nightcap and some food after attending a fun lecture elsewhere. I used to feel safe at this neighborhood pub but things have changed. I sat at the far end of the bar where there are no gambling machines and drank my wine. Drunk guy comes over from mid bar to tell me “how pretty I am”. “Thank you. I have a boyfriend”. He leaves for a minute but comes back protesting to his friend “how pretty I am”. Clearly not caring that I don’t wish to talk to him at all! “please leave me alone” I say and I get up and go to the bathroom – hoping he will go sit down and leave me alone. After spending extra time in the bathroom I come back out. He’s still there! The random guy next to me tells him to leave me alone. I ask for my check and prepare to leave. He keeps trying to talk to me. After having asked three times and being frustrated I took my purse and hit him in the head with it. :). It worked! Everyone laughed at him which made him leave! I will use that move again. Wanted to share.
Some d-bag walked by me (I had headphones on) and he said “I wanna eat your p*ssy”. Guess he didn’t think I could hear him but don’t worry, I did. And I. Lit. Him. Up. I shouted a large array of expletives at the guy, flipped him off, generally tried to cause him to suffer incredible embarrassment. It pisses me off when people tell me I shouldn’t have said anything and that I compromised my safety (even though it was noon on a Tuesday). My safety was already compromised by the fact that a loser piece of sh*t thought he could TRY to intimidate me. I don’t think so, bub.
I’m 27 now and these are few things that happened many years ago. One instance was more than 18 years ago and another happened about fourteen years ago. They’ve stuck with me and they still make me cry whenever I think of them.
The first instance happened on a Friday, I remember because my dad got paid that day and we (my mom, siblings, and I) were going to go grocery shopping at a shopping center a few minutes from our house. We were hungry so my mom took us to a McDonald’s in the shopping center and we sat in our car to eat before going into the grocery store. My mom was in the front seat and my sister and I were in the very back. A homeless man came up to our car and asked my mom for some money. She gave him some change and apologized saying that that was all that she had to give (we didn’t have very much money). He then angrily told her something in Spanish and my mom responded back to him and tried to roll up the window as fast as she could, but the homeless man threw the change at my mom before she could completely roll up the window. We were scared and my Mom was crying/upset. My mom then found the security guard that was supposed to be in front of the store and told him what happened and he said they called the police. We waited and waited in our car for what seemed like forever, but the police never came and we just went home. When we got home we told my dad and brothers what happened. I remember my sister and I telling them that we thought he asked our mom for some of our food before he threw the money. I now know what he said to my mom. She said that after she gave him the money and apologized he said, “then give me one of your daughters” I don’t remember when I found this out, but that incident still haunts/disgusts me to this day to the point where I will not go to that shopping center/area of the city anymore. It scared me so much that I won’t give homeless people money.The one time I gave someone a couple of dollars a few months ago, I had my brother give it to the man while I was in the car with the doors locked and the windows up.
The second time I was in junior high and walking home from school when it happened. I passed by an apartment building that was down the street from my house. The street was pretty lonely and there were construction workers on the roof that started saying things to me when I passed by. The word “chica” was used a lot in conjunction with the stupid “ch, ch” sound. I just ignored them and walked even faster then I was already walking just to get home as quickly as possible. I was to scared to tell my parents what happened at the time. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of what happened. Now I realize that I shouldn’t feel that way, those assholes should for acting the way they did.
Those things taught me that if something does happen, I’m going to do my damndest to fight back. Thank you for this site/movement and for listening.
Each day I learn increasingly how dangerous it is to be a female on this planet. I only recently returned, just before 2am, from the most terrifying experience of my life. On my commute home, I ended up at a relatively desolate subway station. A guy apparently took interest in me and started (literally) doing ninja kicks by my head as I sat, petrified, on a bench wondering what the fuck was going on. I moved away and he pursued, following me wherever I walked in the station. I sought solace by the only other people there at that moment, only to again be regarded as a piece of meat and catcalled by the two shitfaces. The psycho guy was oblivious to my intentions of ignoring him, my dirty looks, hanging around the emergency call button and wearing headphones. I was so tempted to push that button, but I was afraid he’d beat me to a bloody pulp in the time it took the cops to get that far underground to the station. I knew he would follow me onto my train and my prediction was correct, as he boarded the same car as me and made sure to stand a few feet away from me. I swung my umbrella around and clenched my pepperspray in my coat pocket. It was collectively the most horrifying 20 mins of my life. He pretty much chased me out of the station and I almost passed out due to running and having a simultaneous panic attack. Hollywood Boulevard was almost empty, but I saw a mall security guard (as I’d hoped to) and ran to him, relaying my story. The psycho followed me into the open air mall, only to continue walking up the steps when he saw me with security. I was literally shaking and out of breath. Another guard was called to escort me to my street, which is right behind the mall. He couldn’t believe what had happened. We approached the exit of the mall, which joins up with a parking garage for the hotel and also my street. Who was walking down the driveway from the parking garage? The psycho! I bolted back towards the mall until the guard received a call that the guy had left the area. The guard then walked me to my street and I said I was ok to get to my apartment, which was a few buildings down and waved to him when I was outside my door. I am so grateful to them for helping me and as sad as it is, I know it could have been much, much worse, as it is for so many people in this scenario. I don’t think it’s stretching beyond the imagination to say that guy would have attacked and raped me, then killed me, had we been alone. It’s like I can’t even live my life with these people around, all because I am a girl.
These photos was taken on December 14, 2012 in South Bend, Indiana. These clever gentlemen thought it was super funny to talk about how much they would like to “violently rape that bitch,” “take it from that cunt,” and “beat the shit out of her.” They mentioned being puzzled about why “whores should even get paid” for the privilege of having their small penises inside them. They also thought it was super awesome to call me a “fucking whore” when I asked them to stop yelling ugly misogynistic things across the restaurant.
Sadly the manager asked me to leave after I began taking photos of these men. I explained to the manager that the group had been talking about beating up women, raping women, and were using extraordinarily offensive sexist language including bitch, cunt, slut, etc., but the manager simply told me to “return to my seat.” I declined to do so and left, while the men continued to shout “whore” at me (and at least one threatened to rape me as well).
Since posting these photos on Facebook, I have found out that these gentlemen are Notre Dame undergraduate students, at least some of whom were recently banned from living on campus.