This is my daughter’s story. When she was 18 she visited Israel with her senior class at her school. Before they left for the Middle East she was told that they all needed to “blend in” as best they could. They needed to wear extremely modest clothing. She is a very light-haired natural blonde, with blue eyes and a very large bust. As they moved through the Arab Market in Jerusalem, she began to hear what she decided was jeering. It was directed at her. The men in the market were following her and throwing large-sized shirts at her (even though she had a loose-fitting, long-sleeved, shirt on;very modest.) She had no choice but to put on the extra shirts because, clearly, she was not covered up enough for them. She was embarrassed and scared. At the same time, these same men were asking to marry her. Making kissing noises and laughing. She was mortified.
I was coming home from a gig at around 1am and there was a car parked next to a bus stop. I didn’t pay much attention to it but as i passed it the guy started driving and asked if i was on business. My immediate answer was “no, sorry”. And as i said it i felt so stupid, why did i put that “sorry” in there, i do hope it’s just because of living in UK the last couple of years and everyone being quite polite and not because some strange subconscious psychological need to apologise for not being a prostitute and leaving the guy unsatisfied, because that would really be sick. This happened yesterday but i still feel kinda dirty, i guess thats the word, why would he even think that i do that. Yes, i admit it, someone assuming i was a prostitute makes me feel bad. No, i have nothing against prostitutes. There is a positive side to this though. I was wearing flat boots, jeans, t’shirt and a cardigan, so yeah, dressed extremely casually, yet got asked the question i got asked. So, those people who think that girls get harassed because they ask for it by wearing a sexy dress and accordingly can be blamed for it themselves, know nothing. I’ve had more unpleasant experiences when im not showing any skin at all than when i am.
Walking to the public library, guy in a satellite truck honked at me. I flipped him off. Walking home, same guy honked again; I flipped him off again; and two other guys-in-vans waved and hollered a few cars later. I’m looking for a third option…like calling their bosses, mothers, proctologists, and child support officers.
This is an online hollaback to a person who probably created a fake profile just for harassment purposes considering his profile name is Jon Smith.
I think he might have seen my post on a feminist pro-body hair fan page called “F*ck Shaving” where women posts pictures of their hairy selves. I posted something like this article, although I cant find the one I actually posted, on pubic hair and received the message that I screen shot and attached here.
I am a women’s studies major, so I know a bit about our patriarchal society and how it produces attitudes about women like this person must have, but it still catches me off guard when people have the audacity to send harassing messages like these. I’m probably not in any real danger, but this messages reminds me of the sort of sexism people are capable of. And now I’m going to make sure that my privacy settings don’t allow anyone who isn’t my friend see what city I’m in…
So a few months ago I was waiting outside at school for my ride one morning when this dude starts hitting on me hardcore. He’s telling me how cute I am and I’m trying to just ignore him, then he asks me if I have a boyfriend and I told him I did (even though I don’t) and he goes, “You were supposed to say no.”
Just as I’m wondering what the hell this dude’s problem is, he comes up closer to me and tells me how I should give my “boyfriend” his number and I’m like wtf why??? He tells me because he wants to take him out so he can try and break us up. What a fucking scumbag.
Today I was at my local indoor pool, looking after the two young boys I nanny for. While in the hot tub, I noticed two older boys, probably around age 13 or 14. The boys seemed to recognize one of the kids I was caring for from school, but he seemed very wary of them, as the way they were acting was very loud, aggressive, and in-your-face. The entire time we were there, they kept ogling my breasts, and I could feel their eyes on my back when I stood up. Both of the older boys had googles and snorkels with them, and kept going underwater and not-so-subtly pressing on my ass with their entire torsos as they swam by. The first time it happened, I was like, “Well, I’m sure that was just an accident… I mean, the undertow from the jets in the hot tub IS pretty strong, he could have easily swum astray and bumped into me”. The second time I was like, “Yeah… his hand just brushed my crotch… Undertow definitely doesn’t force someone to do that…”. Just when I thought it was over, one of them came around a third time when I wasn’t looking and rubbed up hard against me. While he was underwater and pressing me, I made eye contact with the other one (he had a big grin on his face) and the little shit knew exactly what was happening, disgusting little pervert. When the groper came up for air after the third time, I gave him a look that said, “You touch me again and I’ll kick your fucking teeth out” and they just laughed, like my anger and disgust at them was hilarious. After their laughter died down and they looked ready to pull the same shit again, I grabbed the kids, gave the older boys a cold look, and said, “You know exactly what you were just doing. Don’t be such dicks.” They looked surprised that I had cursed at them, but laughed again anyways. I left feeling disgusted and appalled that boys so young already had such poor impulse control and such a lack of respect for women’s bodies and feelings. When things like this happen to me in my own community, and in a public place, it makes me feel certain that today’s brazen and shameless groper is tomorrow’s perpetrator of rape.
Yesterday, I was lucky enough to leave the office a little earlier than usual. Leaving work, I hop on the metro, and once I arrive at the metro station, I have to take a bus home. Unfortunately, the bus drops me off at the bottom of a large hill, so I have a 10 minute walk home everyday. As I began my journey up the street, a man in a car with darkened windows drove past me, slowly, and rolled down his window. He literally stopped his car in the middle of the road, and waited until I caught up. As I passed, he stuck his head out the window and stared at me, looking me up and down. I instantly felt uncomfortable, and walked away quickly. Then, when I thought the man had driven away, I noticed that he has turned around in someone’s driveway, and was driving past me again, going less than 5 mph. He shouted something out the window at me and stopped in the road again. Fear rushed over me and I grabbed my pepper spray. The man continued to follow me, driving slowly, until a car drove up behind him, and he sped away. I should NEVER have to fear for my safety walking home, especially in broad daylight. I am lucky the situation was not a lot worse than it was.
I walked through a group of 30 year old men, and when they said hello, i returned the greeting, and immediately after i did a different man began shouting “you got some nice titties” over and over until his friend chimed in “and a real nice ass”
I’m a gay male who’s on the rather… chubby side, and I’d always wanted somewhere reasonable enough that made me feel comfortable and not like i wad being judged, and thought I found that with a 24 hour gym. Perfect, I’m up late anyways and there won’t be as many people there at night! Little did I know, I’d be made uncomfortable by a completely different situation.
The first time it happened, a guy was staring at me while I was rinsing my face in a sink. I could see in the reflection of the mirror that he was literally staring at me and smiling. Then what does he do next? He pulls down the front of his gym shorts and flashes me! I went out and told the person at the front desk and lo and behold, “they can’t do anything about it unless there are witnesses.”
Flash forward a month or so, I go to the gym around midnight and stay til 3 am. At the end of my workout, which included a swim, I decided that since it was late enough I could probably shower without feeling embarrassed or having anyone see me. I go into the locker room and there was an older guy, probably in his late 30’s, early 40’s who had clearly just showered and was wrapping up to go home. No big deal. I went into a desperate part of the locker room and put some stuff in my locker and grabbed a towel, undressed, and wrapped it around my waist. I head over towards the showers and as I do, I pass the little section of lockers where he’s at. He makes eye contact and smiles at me and I kinda quickly smile at him and keep walking, when I hear him say, “damn!”
I ignored it, not really believing he was talking to me (my self confidence was pretty low at the time, I had no idea anybody would ever say anything like that to me, let alone a creepy gym locker room dude,) and went over to the little offshoot area where the shower stalls are.
I’m standing there with the shower running, washing the chlorine water from my hair when I hear another nozzle turn on. I was a little disappointed cause I thought I was going to avoid the embarrassment of anyone seeing me naked, but when I glanced over, it was the creeper dude, he had gotten BACK in the shower, straight across from my stall, and worse of all, he was JACKING OFF!!!! I was pretty damn shocked by that point and I turned to face away from him and rinse the shampoo out of my hair (I rushed so it shouldn’t have taken more than a few seconds,) and I heard him say something. HE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY STILL MASTURBATING!!! I didn’t know what to do or say so I kinda backed up into my stall a little more to move away from him and he kept stroking and started reaching for me. I finally got myself together and realize what was going on and said “dude, if you fucking touch me I’ll punch you the fuck out.” He backed off enough to get past him and I grabbed my towel, threw on my gym shorts and shirt still soaking wet, and carried my shoes and took off out of that locker room so quick. I’d never been more afraid or shaken up in my life. I didn’t even want to stop to talk to the guy at the front desk.
I went back a few days later to report the incident and of course was told once again that they couldn’t do anything about it. It was sick and creepy and I don’t understand why because a man can “tell I’m gay” he thinks he’s entitled to invade my personal space and make me feel disgusting.
I was walking home from the bus stop, dressed conservatively in a tank and long jeans (in 80 degree weather just to avoid this type of shit)when a man I was passing at another bus stop interrupted my headphone enjoying to say “Hey baby,whatchoo doin’ today? Where you headed?” I responded by saying loudly “Stop harassing me.” I kept walking, he shouted “Fucking whore.” So I shouted again, “STOP HARASSING ME.” While some bicyclists rode by. He again screamed “FUCKING WHORE.” So I kept walking. I’m not used to standing up for myself like this, and I know it’s a small incident but my hands are still shaking. I’m so glad he didn’t follow me home! I wish those bikers had stopped, though.