I woke up early to go to a meeting at my internship only to find out that the bus schedule online was incorrect meaning I would have to wait in the rain for the next bus to come and be late. It wasn’t even 8am, I was tired, wet, and rather cranky as I stood waiting and listening to music. I heard a weird nose and looked up to find a man slowly driving past me whistling at me loud enough to be heard over the music in my headphones. When I made eye contact he started blowing kisses at me as he continued to drive. I was too stunned to do anything except make a “what the hell” the face at him.
I am only fifteen, and it happens all the time. It’s so disgusting because a lot of these guys are old enough to be my dad. I have a lot of stories but I’ll share this one because it was one of the more disturbing ones. This guy comes up to me at a bus stop near my school. And I know that I may look older than I am but I was wearing a backpack, etc. So I think it was pretty clear i was underage. Anyways, he walks past me and looks me up and down and says something like “dayyyum” and making weird grunting noises. And I’m just thinking oh shit here we go again. I just ignore him. But he walks back towards me and starts talking to me, he says things like can I have your number, etc. I tell him I have a boy friend, which is what I always do so they’ll leave me alone. But he doesn’t get the message and he keeps harassing me and he starts saying “oooh i get it you’ve never fucked a guy before i get it” and other even more inappropriate things. And I try to make it really clear to him that i want him to fuck off but at the same time I’m so scared of what he’ll do if I am rude, or I shout at him.
I hate that they can make me feel that way. Then he goes in for a hug and I duck out of the way, thank god the bus came at that moment because he kept getting more and more aggressive. But when the bus pulled up he backed off. What was so weird was that he didn’t even get on the bus. OH and did i mention there were adults, including several grown men just standing there obviously aware of not doing anything. A girl in my french class was there too and she gave me a hug when we got on the bus and said she was sorry but she was scared to do anything. A lot of girls are scared and they shouldn’t have to be. And I am usually a pretty brave and tough person. I shouldn’t feel so frightened and harassed only two blocks from my school. I’m going to get mase but I shouldn’t have to, I don’t think I’m even actually allowed to bring it in my backpack to school so I have no way to defend myself. I wish I was as brave as my sister she always yells at people who harass her.
Just after finishing high school, I enrolled in a local community college and began to take classes there two days a week. Due to a mix-up, I had three hour long classes, then a two hour break, and then an hour long class. So, for two hours, I was stuck aimlessly wandering around campus, sitting in the lunch room, or hiding out in the library. On a particular day, the weather was relatively nice so I decided to walk around a little bit. An older man, maybe late 40’s?, walked past me, looked at me, and then started to follow me. I ignored him initially because he didn’t say anything, but after a few moments he began to call out to me. “Hey, how long are you going to keep walking away?” I nervously told him I was on my way to class and didn’t have time to talk. He caught up to me, not caring at all about my excuse, and continued to talk. “How old are you?” Thinking he would leave me alone if I was young, I lied and said I was 17, not 18. He laughed and put a hand on my shoulder, saying, “it’s okay, I can take you on a date, nobody has to know.” I started to walk faster, and I ended up having to pretend I was going into a class to get him to leave me alone. The last thing he said to me was, “I know where you go to class now! You’re gonna have to give me an answer some time!” Similar experiences happened so often to the point I stopped going after that. People don’t know what they’re doing to somebody when they “innocently hit on them.”
I’m a law intern and my friend and I, both girls, dressed professionally, were shadowing a judge in the municipal court today. During the ten-minute recess, we both went to the bathroom, passing through the large marble atrium on our way. Two men were leaning on a railing as we passed; one of them said “Sexy, sexy” to us, and the other “Yum, yum,” and other indistinguishable grunts as we passed them.
I’m sharing this story precisely because it is not shocking. I think it should be shocking. I was too shocked to respond. We are desensitized to this behavior and have come to expect it; my goal is to question that expectation and that passivity.
I love riding my bike, I use it as transportation as often as I can. Riding home last night around 10p.m. a car driving the opposite direction slowed down and stared at me as he passed. I glared back. He proceeded to turn around, and follow slowly behind me, in the bike lane. I saw someone I know walking and slowed and pulled to the curb to talk with him. The car turned off on a side street. Annoying as hell. I love riding my bike. I hate harassment, and it happens every time, from catcalling, to following.
I was on my way to work this morning, and was mentally steeling my resolve and “don’t talk to me” body language in preparation for the couple of creepy suits that are invariably standing outside the building ogling like it’s a full-time job. So I was taken completely by surprise when, only a few yards from my car, an older man walking the other way insisted “hey, smile, come on!” I was so startled that all I could manage before he was out of earshot was “Seriously? Fuck you.” I wish I’d had the focus to stop him and ask him if he would say the same creepy shit to a young man, or if that would seem like a weird imposition on someone else’s life. New golden rule: if it would be creepy to say it to a man, it’s creepy to us too.
I work at a day camp for gifted kids, and this morning, my boss sent me and two other coworkers down the street to get ice cream sandwiches and more kool aid for the kiddos as a special treat.
Normally, we’d drive but all three of us were low on gas, wanted to kill time and get some exercise and the weather was still relatively nice, so we walked.
On the way back, a pair of gross guys, probably early 30’s started cat calling my female coworker and i, making comments about our legs and asses, as we were wearing shorts. they kept hollering, asking us if we wanted a ride to wherever we were going, and when we ignored them, they asked us what our problem was, why were were being bitches? they continued to whistle and even bark (what?) and unfortunately, we had no where to go and had no choice of standing at the stop light near their truck.
We kept ignoring them and they kept yelling at us and whistling, making gross kissing noises, inviting us to get in the truck. our other coworker, a sweet 17 year old kid, says, “FUCK OFF”
So the guy in the passenger seat pulls a gun out of the glove compartment and points it at our friend’s head.
Thankfully, the light changed, they drove off and we walked back to work in silence. once we got back, we hid behind the school in order to compose ourselves before going back inside. (with lots of tears and hugging, my female friend and i were all snot and running mascara)
We went about our duties of setting up snack, cleaning and playing with the kids and told our boss as soon as she returned from the bank. She promptly called the cops who took statements and descriptions from us.
Both the cops and our boss told our coworker he did the right thing, and he answered “what, was i supposed to stand there and let them be disgusting?” and that even if he would have gotten shot, it would have meant he did something.
Luckily, we were able to walk away but were shaken up all day.
Not only are street harassers persistent and disgusting, but they have no qualms about pulling guns on those who try to intervene.
I was in somewhat of a hurry that day so I got onto the tram right at the back where people tend to accumulate. Therefore, I stood right next to the door with a middle-aged man on my other side. I felt like he was standing a little closer to me than strictly necessary but didn’t think anything of it because it was really quite crowded. After a stop or two however I felt something moving against my thigh and being kind of stuck between the guy and the door couldn’t just move away. I didn’t call him out on it because I still thought that I could technically be imagining things and didn’t want to cause a scene. At the next stop I had to let people out so I could move to a different place away from the guy. When I looked at him from the distance his quite thin pants clearly showed that I hadn’t been mistaken at all and he had definitely been rubbing off on me.
I should definitely just have said something right at the beginning or at least when I was totally sure what had happened but being the quiet person that I am I just let him walk away. I really hope that the next time something like this happens, I’ll be able to call them out on it because guys like that absolutely need to be informed about what they’re doing to women all over the world.
The bus stops seem to a prime location for street harassment. This particular day a month ago (May 27th to be exact), was slightly more of an extraordinary occurrence then I was used to (and now that I know about this site I could probably post a story every week).
I had walked from Frankfuary, on Butler, up 39th to Penn Ave and over to the bus stop by Main Street. Shortly thereafter a torrential down pour ensued. After it cleared up, a man who had just parked his truck near the bus stop got out of his vehicle and say down at the bus stop with me.
“Did you hear me hollering at you on the street?”
“Damn, you got a baby face, how old are you?”
This conversation should have ended here. If I look too young for you to be talking to me (even though I’m not), then stop. THEN I realized that this guy had seen me on the street and either made a u-turn or drove around the block to come talk to me. Fuck that.
Unfortunately I was tipsy enough to politely play along and dismiss him. Next time I hope I have more wits about me.
If you didn’t know, Wednesdays are half-off clothes at the Salvation Army in the Southside. This particular Wednesday proved more trying than just finding some good deals. As I walked the stairs up to the second floor, a man gave me a look over and a “compliment.” I said thanks and kept walking up the stairs, grateful that we were headed in opposite directions. To my dismay, he decided to turn around and come back up after I had begun browsing the racks. He asked if I was married, if I had kids, or if I had a boyfriend. He told me I should be on the cover of sports illustrated in a little bikini (the was in the winter and I was wearing jeans and a cape style jacket, not figure flattering). I was followed around the store for what felt like an hour trying to politely be an asshole and dismiss him, saying “no” and “probably not” to everything he said. He tried to get me to try on some work slacks. I made a sarcastic joke about how I could wear them to my corporate job (I also had blue hair at this time) and he responded with a sexist and inappropriate comment about how all the guys in the office would be checking out my ass (which was currently covered and potentially very flat for all he knew). He had some lunch he had been neglecting and after several of my suggestions to go eat it, he finally did.
Relieved I no longer had to deal with this guy, I went to text my friend and tell him about this crazy situation I had encountered. Unfortunately, this man returned. This time it wasn’t to ask me a million questions and follow me around the store but to ask for my phone number because apparently the little voices inside his head told him. I said no. He asked if that was how it was going to be, I said yes, and he left.
I browsed the clothes for quite a while longer and contemplated asking my friend to come pick me up. I didn’t want to walk home. What if this guy was downstairs waiting for me? What if he followed me home? I took an unusual route home and thankfully haven’t seen that guy since.