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Was running across the street and a man leaned out of a door of a truck to scream at me. Something like, “run big Bertha”
Hollaback! recently published our Employer’s, Union, and Service Provider’s Guide to Ending Street Harassment!
Check out this short video with author Debjani Roy, Deputy Director of Hollaback!, outlining what the guide offers and what you can do right now to stand up to street harassment.
You can read and download the full Employer’s, Union, and Service Provider’s Guide to Ending Street Harassment on our site here.
I’m a gay male who’s on the rather… chubby side, and I’d always wanted somewhere reasonable enough that made me feel comfortable and not like i wad being judged, and thought I found that with a 24 hour gym. Perfect, I’m up late anyways and there won’t be as many people there at night! Little did I know, I’d be made uncomfortable by a completely different situation.
The first time it happened, a guy was staring at me while I was rinsing my face in a sink. I could see in the reflection of the mirror that he was literally staring at me and smiling. Then what does he do next? He pulls down the front of his gym shorts and flashes me! I went out and told the person at the front desk and lo and behold, “they can’t do anything about it unless there are witnesses.”
Flash forward a month or so, I go to the gym around midnight and stay til 3 am. At the end of my workout, which included a swim, I decided that since it was late enough I could probably shower without feeling embarrassed or having anyone see me. I go into the locker room and there was an older guy, probably in his late 30′s, early 40′s who had clearly just showered and was wrapping up to go home. No big deal. I went into a desperate part of the locker room and put some stuff in my locker and grabbed a towel, undressed, and wrapped it around my waist. I head over towards the showers and as I do, I pass the little section of lockers where he’s at. He makes eye contact and smiles at me and I kinda quickly smile at him and keep walking, when I hear him say, “damn!”
I ignored it, not really believing he was talking to me (my self confidence was pretty low at the time, I had no idea anybody would ever say anything like that to me, let alone a creepy gym locker room dude,) and went over to the little offshoot area where the shower stalls are.
I’m standing there with the shower running, washing the chlorine water from my hair when I hear another nozzle turn on. I was a little disappointed cause I thought I was going to avoid the embarrassment of anyone seeing me naked, but when I glanced over, it was the creeper dude, he had gotten BACK in the shower, straight across from my stall, and worse of all, he was JACKING OFF!!!! I was pretty damn shocked by that point and I turned to face away from him and rinse the shampoo out of my hair (I rushed so it shouldn’t have taken more than a few seconds,) and I heard him say something. HE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY STILL MASTURBATING!!! I didn’t know what to do or say so I kinda backed up into my stall a little more to move away from him and he kept stroking and started reaching for me. I finally got myself together and realize what was going on and said “dude, if you fucking touch me I’ll punch you the fuck out.” He backed off enough to get past him and I grabbed my towel, threw on my gym shorts and shirt still soaking wet, and carried my shoes and took off out of that locker room so quick. I’d never been more afraid or shaken up in my life. I didn’t even want to stop to talk to the guy at the front desk.
I went back a few days later to report the incident and of course was told once again that they couldn’t do anything about it. It was sick and creepy and I don’t understand why because a man can “tell I’m gay” he thinks he’s entitled to invade my personal space and make me feel disgusting.
I was walking home from the bus stop, dressed conservatively in a tank and long jeans (in 80 degree weather just to avoid this type of shit)when a man I was passing at another bus stop interrupted my headphone enjoying to say “Hey baby,whatchoo doin’ today? Where you headed?” I responded by saying loudly “Stop harassing me.” I kept walking, he shouted “Fucking whore.” So I shouted again, “STOP HARASSING ME.” While some bicyclists rode by. He again screamed “FUCKING WHORE.” So I kept walking. I’m not used to standing up for myself like this, and I know it’s a small incident but my hands are still shaking. I’m so glad he didn’t follow me home! I wish those bikers had stopped, though.
I go to a middle school and in my art class we were glazing our pottery and this one obnoxious guy came up to this girl and started to ask her questions that made her very uncomfortable. These were innapropiate questions that no one should ask ever such as “are you a whore?” “are you a virgin?” She even yelled at him to stop, but he kept getting closer and even tried to vandilize her work so I said to him politely ,”Hey thats not appropriate behavior and you should never ask someone those kind of questions please leave her alone.” He responded with “shut the fuck up nosy bitch!” And I say “you should never talk to somewhone like that!” And he just keeps going “I can say whatever the FUCK! I want fuck fuck fuckity bitch bitch bitch!” He also threw a paper towel at me. Im just happy he turned his attention away for that girl…The bell had rang and I didn’t have time to get the teacher on him…I wish I could have done more though for the girls he likes to harass.
Leered at and catcalled while walking to the grocery store.
I live in Jakarta Indonesia, and I, like many others who live here, are considered ‘ExPats’. I was born in the states but I’ve traveled my entire life so I’m use to being considered an novelty. I got use to obscene catcalls and slurs thrown at me for being what most indonesians refer to as, ‘blue’ (pronounced boo-lay), which refers to the fact that even for a white person, I’m pretty pale.
But one night, on my friends birthday, we decided to go to a club near our house and school called club 777. I had never been to a club in Indonesia before, and it was late, my boyfriend was homesick, and a lot of my friends were really drunk from the bar we visited earlier, so even just walking into this place, I felt really uncomfortable.
But I shook off that feeling as we got our table, had a couple more drinks, and started to dance. It wasn’t long after that, when a friend of the birthday girl stumbled up to us and started to dance with the group. I had met him before, but it was brief and his english was as limited as my bahasa. He knew I had a boyfriend but as soon as he walked up to us, he moved behind me and tried to grind up against me. Because he was drunk, I moved away and tried to dance somewhere else, but he followed and grabbed at my hips and my waist trying to make me stay. I ended up turning around and telling him to fuck off, shoving him off me, but he grabbed my arm tightly in his hand and shook me saying that all he wanted was to dance. I shoved him off me again and I tried to go sit down in between two of my close guy friends, but when I did, he grabbed my upper arm so hard my shoulder popped and I was dragged out of my seat.
The guys I was with made him leave our area and had one of the bouncers kick him out for disorderly conduct, but after the incident, and after the bruise from how tight his grip was, developed, he still tried to talk to me the following weekend. I heard from one of my friends that still keeps in contact with him, that all he wanted to say, was that he was sorry. Ha. Yeah, right.
I was at a local grocery store a few years ago and a 30-40 year old man got behind me in the check out line. He was talking on his cellphone and then apologized to me for being rude and stated that he was French. I said it was fine and he kept making small talk and I was being polite. He said he worked at GMU, the school I was trying to get admitted into, and asked if I would give him my phone number. Not getting terribly creepy vibes (yet) but still wanting to be safe I gave him my email, thinking that he would be a useful connection. But soon after this he started emailing very often, probably weekly for a solid month or two, inviting me to coffee and tennis and I never responded, because at that point I was definitely creeped out. He eventually gave up. Flash-forward to a couple of years later and I’m at another grocery store and I am in a random aisle when I see the SAME MAN on his cell phone and speaking French (really obvious french words: merci vous cous, etc. over and over again. It was pretty obvious no one was on the other line). Every aisle I turned down he would show up and I kept trying to randomize to avoid him because he would get walk past me staring and trying to get my attention. I got what I needed and went to the checkout counter where he got in line behind me still repeating French on his cell. Then he started to apologize to me for being on the phone and telling me that he was being rude and he was sorry and that he was French. SAME FUCKING CONVERSATION. And over two years after the first encounter. I again said it was fine but made no small talk and high tailed it the hell out of there hoping he wouldn’t remember that he had pulled this shit on me previously and that he actually had my email. And this same fucker came up to me about a month or two ago, this time in a local store. Same routine: incoherent French on his cell home, following me around aisles and trying to apologize for being rude on his phone as a way of initiating conversation. It is really uncomfortable and he invades your space and is extremely persistent. So for anyone who lives in the DC or NoVa area if you encounter this man, who appears to use this ploy at grocery stores around the area regularly, please involve the store security immediately. I know I will if I ever have the misfortune of running into him again.
While I was biking to work a man in a nice car pulled up next to me and said “hey, beautiful.” He looked like the man who raped me and I’ve spent all day wondering if he’s found me again.
It’s time for our weekly update!
Here at the mothership, Emily, Debjani, and board member Kathleen Adams attended a Cause/effective seminar and were visited by one of Hollaback!’s rad funders, Voqal! Final preparations for HOLLA::Revolution continue… remember that you can RSVP here!
Hollaback!’s own Debjani Roy is featured in a podcast about Hollaback!’s Employer Guide! Make sure you check it out!
Hollaback! Pathankot announces that they will be doing a chalk walk soon! Check back to their website for updates
Hollaback! Edinburgh‘s Emily Martin and Dominic Hinde presented at the Scottish Parliament!