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This guy at my church is constantly asking for hugs…and when he hugs me he squeezes me and says ummm ugh unnnnn. I hate this. I asked several deacons to speak to him along with telling my Pastor. This guy who was supposed to be a deacon himself eventually left the church. I feel bad that he is no longer a member but I do feel safer. Now we have another weirdo there and his brother is a known serial killer. He is always trying to help me and asking me questions out of just trying to get my attention. I always try to be pleasant and usually decline his offers of assistance. He is always persistent but I am always firm and tell him I do not need help. To all women who are having this issue….I will tell you that you need to keep your distance from men like this, because they have the potential to become extremely aggressive, disrespectful, untrustworthy and above all unpredictable. Never let your guards down and never be caught in a situation where you are alone with a person with this personality.
Submitted by Shelly La Mar
While flyfishing in my kayak in the northern location of Lake Champlain in Vermont, I realized a fishing boat with two middle aged men was circling my boat and watching me as I casted my line. I was wearing my bathing suit, a one piece. I continued to cast and I heard catcalls, whistles and unnecessary comments such as “hey sweetie, fish for me”, “let’s make it a threesome”, The two men began to speed up there boats obviously making waves which made caused me to stop fishing and pick up my paddle to head my boat safely into the waves to prevent me from tipping over. Every time I stopped and began to fish when the waves settled, the men began revving up the boat, making waves and causing me once again to stop fishing. The men would then call out to me that they could give me lessons, to come to them and hop on for a “fishing orgy”. finally I put down my pole, quietly turned my boat in there direction and called out as loud as I could so other nearby fishing boats could hear me. I yelled to them there boatname Boat ID, and took my camera with a zoom and waved my flare yelled out that if they dared harass me any more that I would set off the flare. I yelled out to the other fishing boats that I greatly appreciated the assistance and announced these men were harrasing me. Three boats located on the other side of me stopped their fishing started yelling at the “bad guys” and all three began to come to my rescue. I yelled to the two bad boys that if they dared approach me again that they would be in deeper trouble than the depth of the lake and their pocket books would not be able to afford such a boat that they were in.
Submitted by Katra
With recent headlines calling attention to a Mizo gang rape case and a popular Delhi actress not keeping silent about being groped in public at a half marathon, India’s press is taking a much closer look at the situation on the front lines.
Mid-Day’s “A Tale of Two Cities” is chock full of interviews with psychologists, sociologists, government officials, and women who are sick and tired of being unwilling participants in a war they’re not interested in fighting.
“Their eyes show how much they respect women. Even men who are old enough to be your father don’t feel ashamed to pass lewd comments or touch inappropriately,” says one of the article’s sources.
The ultimate nightmare: being trapped in some sicko psycho’s taxi cab and no one knows you’re there. With things like Facebook’s check-in feature and Foursquare, something that allows women to check into a cab and simultaneously register the car number and driver information should not be light years away. If you’re working on a solution such as this, please let us know.
And it sounds like someone is. Take this quick 10 question survey and hold your breath for something on the market soon. It takes less than 30 seconds and will let its creators know that we want it! CAB SAFETY SURVEY
In the meantime, please help Hollaback collect some information on this subject by sharing your taxi cab experiences in the comment section here.
“…And while human kindness is free and something we should all attempt to keep in abundant supply, it’s also unfair to demand that a woman is constantly doing hostess duty for every Tom, Dick and Hakeem who wants to demand a few minutes of her time,” writes The Beautiful Struggler in “Real Talk, Wrong Talk”. Insert big nod here.
Another quote from The Beautiful Struggler we like? “No one likes feeling like prey, or as if they are auditioning for a sexual role they have no interest in playing.” Right on.
Walking to the subway on my lunch break yesterday I came upon a group of losers loitering around the entrance. I heard them call to a woman behind me who was also trying to reach the stairs to get to the platform. One of the men apparently needed some attention and proceeded to follow the woman, saying all sorts of things like “oh yeah baby, yeah…” I was like, who are you? Austin Powers? This is lame…So, with the girl behind me (who was trying her best to ignore that this creep was following her, I stopped and looked at the man and said “Why don’t you guys show some respect for women in the streets and stop harassing them? You don’t need to say things like that to women” in a totally quizzical and non-threatening manner. The guy’s eyes darted from me to the girl and back to me again and he was obviously very confused. “What?” he said, not so “smooth” anymore. In fact he just seemed like a dumb little boy and just sort of walked off. It was so easy. I kept walking and I heard the girl call out “Thank you” to me from behind me. I felt really good.
Submitted by Vee
This guy sure thinks he’s a hotshot when he’s on the end of this big fancy phallic crane. So he decides to catcall a few ladies on their way to the train station this morning. As soon as I told him I was taking his photo for Hollaback fame, he didn’t feel so good anymore. And then all his buddies started laughing at him.
This happens a lot at this construction site. You stay classy, Carroll Gardens!
Submitted by Katharine
I’m prefacing this story with the fact that I’m a person of color as race unfortunately comes up in this already crappy situation.
Yesterday, I woke up late for work and as I was scrambling to get out the door, I left my headphones and book at home – my usual way of blocking out street creeps. The whole day I was noticing that guys were just staring at my chest and saying creepy things. Perhaps it was because I wasn’t distracted by music that I was noticing it so much. After the third leering fool, I said to myself, “The next comment I get, I’m going to snap.”
On my way home from work, I had to walk through that long passage from the 1,2,3 trains to the L and I noticed that a guy was walking next to me and keeping in stride with me. I tried to ignore him but then he said, “You look like you’ve had a long day…” I continued to ignore him. Then he said, “Oh, that’s how it is? That’s how you get off?” And…I snapped. I said to him, “Leave me the fuck alone, dude. I don’t know you. Just get away from me and leave me alone.” He paused and then started to scream, “You stupid bitch. You stupid fucking bitch. Look at your converse – you want to be white, you fake white bitch!” I’m still in the passage way and there is no where to go but forward or backwards. I continue to say “Leave me alone.” and try to push through the crowd of people. He is still screaming until we get to the L train platform where he attempts to get into the same car as me but I duck into another one at the last minute.
I don’t regret saying something though I have this feeling of shame and failure as well.
Submitted by ACP
I went to the local shop which was just across the street from my house. It was dark and the street was empty apart from a white transit van across the road next to the shop door. As i was crossing the road a man got out of the transit. He screamed at me ‘You see you. I’m gonna come over there and fuck you. get hold of you by the neck like a ferret’. He was furious and punching the air to point at me. I felt humiliated and frightened because of his threat and anger towards me for merely existing! I ignored him and went back home.
What was worse is how the girls I lived with didn’t believe me. They just ignored what I told them. It was a double wammy – i felt angry that someone thought they could verbal threaten me in the street and worried about what could have happened. But then that no one cared made me feel plain stupid!
Submitted by Janet
I was 17 and working as a waitress in a small local restaurant on a fairly slow afternoon. A man in his late forties came in with his two sons, the oldest of whom appeared to be 13. They were the only ones in the restaurant, so I was cleaning tables and trying to keep busy while their food was being prepared. First the dad called me over to tell me how hot his sons apparently thought I was. Then he called me over to tell me that one of them wanted my number. Finally, he called me over and asked if he could take a picture of my ass for his sons. I just responded, “That is incredibly inappropriate”, and marched off to get my manager, George, from the back. Of course, George was like a dad to everyone there and threw down his apron and stormed to the front of the store in a rage to confront them. But by then, they had ran out of the restaurant. Without paying.
Submitted by Jackie