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A group of builders have been working on a restaurant close to where I work in Hanway Street, London for the past five or six months. I’d say that at least once a day I hear them say something to me or another girl who is walking past at the same time.
I used to walk different routes just to get to a shop around the corner because it annoyed me so much. Now I make sure I always have my iPod with me so I can ignore what they say. I don’t know how much longer they will be working on the restaurant but it’s frustrating to feel that they can get away with it.
I was outside of a house waiting for my friend to arrive so we could go inside to the party at the same time. It was around 3pm in the afternoon and I had been standing in the same spot for about 5 minutes when an 80 year old man (or so I think) came up to me and started talking.
He asked what I was doing and I said I was waiting for a friend to go to a party. He asked me where the party was and I lied and said I wasn’t sure. Then he said ” I would really like to make love to you”. I was so shocked, what seemed like a grandfatherly interaction had now turned into a perverted creep and even though I felt like screaming, all I could do at the time was turn away from him in silence. He then said “Maybe next time” and walked off.
My friend arrived shortly after and we went to the party, needless to say it made me feel like I need to be chaperoned to be in public.
i get harassed repeatably almost to the point I hate going outside.. I’m from New Orleans i just thought maybe it was this city that guys are like that but when i got to new york it got worst, guys stopping their cars in traffic and blowing and yelling until i say something, being called “black bitch” and “ho” for not saying more than hi, and worst of all BEING GRABBED and having to RUN …its like WHY DO YOU DO THAT, where do you get that from…closet full of nice clothes I’m afraid to wear because i know that i will be severely harassed, thing is it doesn’t matter what I look like it or wear —it happens EVERY TIME, I almost go out my way to look as bad a possible not to be shouted/cursed/grabbed… I fear walking down the street, catching the subway, doing anything .. daily.
I was at the mall with my boyfriend and I saw a group of men several times in the mall (in different stores, etc). They were being loud, obnoxious, and yelling things. When I was waiting for my boyfriend while he was in the bathroom (alone w/o him obviously), the group of men were walking toward me. I ignored them by pretending to use my phone and they were being super loud, I looked up, and one of them was looking me up/down, did the gross head nod thing, and they were all saying stuff. They were also chasing after a group of women who were leaving the mall (after the thing with me). The women were like, leave us alone. The men were walking in front of the women, backward, trying to get them to do something. Thankfully, they left them alone. Interesting this happened when I was not with my boyfriend, too. Sad I have to be with a man in order for this shit not to happen!
Okay…I had to vent this somewhere and this just seemed like a good place (SO don’t want to tell my mom)
Aside from the days where my school (an all-girls Catholic school mind you) have half-days, we leave the school in our sweaters & amp; skirts (some change or some don’t have a choice) and go down to the restaurants and such up the way; we deal with the occasional men…I say MEN and not “boys” b/c we don’t see much unless members of the all-boys school (that my school does an exchange program with) are around.
Anyway back to my story….
Keep our uniforms in mind: we don’t have porno star-fantasy school-girl skirts of THAT length but they are shorter than “normal”…we have black sweaters and since this happened in the winter, stockings (knee socks in spring etc.)
I have a part time job after school that I’ve had since I was a freshman…I and another peer/coworker of mine used to walk to work b/c back then the bus used to take a really long time to arrive so by the time it came we’d already be at work…it was a couple of blocks especially with our backpacks and stuff (sometimes I was leered at) but I was fine so long as I walked quickly and kept to myself.
Since junior year, my coworker and I discovered that if we book it right after packing up etc. and getting to the bus stop, we’d make it to work by 3…This day was a good day until what happened to me.
I was waiting for the bus as normal, I took off my sweater b/c it was pretty nice out and I figured I’d just hold it. After a couple of minutes, the bus finally comes and one thing I notice about today is that it’s a little on the cold side…I’m kind of sensitive to that…Lol!
So I sit down in the front like I always do, fix any creases in my skirt…right facing a man who’s in all black, crumbs on himself, mirror sunglasses, unkempt hair and reeks of a really bad odor…
I turn to a man who’s sitting across the way who sort of looks annoyed (don’t know how long he’s been on) but he had earphones in…
Trying not to be disrespectful, I just keep to myself and wait for my stop. The whole time I felt as though this dirty old man was watching me…I look over for one second and all I is him taking a swig out of his can of (whatever) and his pink tongue just flicking either at me or whatever…
Getting annoyed and self-conscious of my chest now (remember it’s cold!) and the rest of me I look towards my upcoming stop and start tapping on the yellow sticker…I figured I won’t give this guy any attention if in fact he’s paying a lot towards me…
To be honest, this isn’t the first time I’ve received male attention (and I’m underage, and even look so) but this was just disgusting…
Maybe I’m being conceited and he wasn’t looking at me at all…but the image stuck w/ me for days and completely bothers me…
More so his tongue and his odor—I have a thing for hygiene but still…
And what bothers me even more, is that even if it got out of hand…I didn’t seem as if anyone else on the bus (which aren’t many) would do anything…
Completely disgusting and I hope I never see that man again…
Dear Middle Aged Man wearing a hat on the TTC:
I was on my way to a formal event at my law school. I thought I was looking nice and I was excited for my night, but as soon as I got on the subway I felt uncomfortable. People were staring. I guess that’s to be expected, though: it’s not every day that you see a woman in a cocktail dress and stilettos on a train full of commuters, in daylight.
As we get closer to Downsview, I move towards the doors and stand holding onto one of the poles with one hand for balance. The subway was no longer packed. You held onto that same pole. You put your hand on my hand. I thought it was an accident, so I politely moved my hand away. You put your hand on my hand again. I moved my hand again. The train lurched, I didn’t want to fall. You put your hand on my hand again. I moved my hand and kept looking straight ahead. We arrived at the station, the doors open and I made a quick exit. I walked as fast as my formal wear would allow. I didn’t look back, I think you followed for a little while.
At the end of my commute I washed my hands twice.
Two bastard tourists was in front of a hotel when i passed by at night. They started talking to me “mmm mama, mamacita, come on!”
I’m so exhausted to just listen to sexism bullsh*t and do nothing, that I want to scream and beat them with all my strength. I want to rip off all sexist testicles.
There’s an MTA worker who stands under the Manhattan Bridge, in the MTA work/storage facility, in the mornings. He blows an air horn to get women’s attention, every time we walk by.
He doesn’t just stare. He wants you to know he is watching you walk by, every morning. Good thing this area seems gated and closed at night.
Whenever I walk past these builders working on a new hotel, they whistle and shout to me to try and get my attention. Shouldn’t they be more focused on working and be looking at what they are doing high up on scaffolding than looking at me and larking about? Idiots. Repeat offenders, no wonder the hotel is taking years and years to get finished if this is all they do all day!
I had a strange experience just now…
I found the riot grrl harassment pamphlets to be really awesome, so I posted all of them on my Facebook account, with the “Excuse me, hi, I just wanted to let you know…” one as my profile picture.
I posted these flyers as an act of solidarity with others who have experienced verbal sexual abuse. I think it’s pretty obvious that they are not directed at all men, just those who choose to be sexist assholes.
I received this Facebook Message:
“I had to make this fake account just to let you know how incredibly offensive your profile pictures are. My respect for you as a dancer and as a person have been severely retarded.
I don’t know whether you got hurt by some asshole guy or something else, but there’s no need to be offensive to guys who do not behave that way.
Get off your high and might fucking horse.
Oh sorry forgot to mention this, don’t bother replying as I’ve obviously blocked you.”
At first I was shocked, then angry, then thought maybe he was right that it was offensive for me to post this. But…people use Facebook for lots of purposes- including championing various causes dealing with sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. The real kicker is that he made an anonymous account. What a jerk.