Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Columbia MO, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
So I’m walking to the dorms and talking to my mother on my cell phone, when I see this guy in military fatigues sitting in a car. He glares at me until I get close enough (where I intended to walk right past him) and he says, “Hey! I want your number! I want your number!” Creeped out, I stop, glare back, and say loudly into the phone, “Ew, mom. This gross guy I don’t know just asked for my number. Some guys are so pathetic.” Of course, he didn’t look too thrilled.
Sorry dude, I understand it’s been a while, but you really shouldn’t expect women to take “do it for your country” so literally…
Submitted by Emily
Tonight around 10 PM, on a train back to her apartment in Williamsburg, a hooded man seated next to my best friend, a 22 year old woman, whispered in her ear “I am going to follow you when you get up.” He did follow her, just a step behind, up the subway steps of her stop and out onto the street. With great clarity in a life-threatening moment, she stepped inside a bodega, while he stood outside, waiting for her, and was fortunate to find a couple who were willing to walk her the few steps from the market to her apartment door. When they exited the bodega, the hooded man was still there, waiting for his (potential) victim. Unfortunately, it took the help of two people–a woman to make her feel safe, and a man to protect her– to allow this woman to arrive home unharmed.
The most important part of this is that my friend is safe, but I feel such anger and rage that men like this, who derive such a false, disgusting sense of power from physically and sexually threatening women in public (or private), can make strong, smart, powerful women like my friend doubt their decision to live alone if they choose, to live free and independent lives, or to merely live at all. I am completely disgusted, and concerned for my friend.
Submitted by R.P.
“If you glare at a woman, catcall, or touch her, you have to take into account that you will be loudy ridiculed, have a glass of beer poured over you, or be punched in the face. We therefore advise you to immediatly refrain from such harrassment! Women, migrants, homeless people, transgender people, gays and lesbians are often victims of assaults. Don’t look away, intervene!”
We couldn’t resist. Neither could our friends at Feministing.
I was at Burger King at Main St. and Roosevelt Ave in Flushing with some friends, hanging out. We were about to leave when this guy (who had previously asked for money) sitting next to us goes “Hey, you, whats up? I want to suck you.” I looked at him, disgusted, and replied “you’re fucking gross.” He then proceeds to get up and follow us out while wiggling his tongue at me. He said “I want to suck your pussy”, and would have probably stuck his tongue in my ear had I not moved away. My friend and I told him he was a fucking pervert and he followed us to the corner. Ugh.
Submitted by Cheer
My girl and I were walking down the street yesterday. As with every day when we/she/I walk down the street, some jerk in a prettied-up car decided it was his business to violate our space by sticking his head out of the window and assaulting us with a list of sleazy, misogynistic, homophobic and idiotic comments. He seemed to think that we wanted to know all about the fact that hot lesbians were part of his heterosexual male fantasy… he was wrong.
In response to his violent penetration of our personal space, my girlfriend and I screamed a list of obsenities at him, telling him exactly what he could do with his fantasy, his over-inflated ego, and his fucked up attitude. Apparently, women getting angry at his harassment was not a response he was used to, so he stuck his head back out the window to let us know that we were “fucked up bitches” and “crazy fucking psychos”. Shit, why hadn’t we noticed? Clearly we were the psychos, considering we were the ones cruising around town and looking to assault vulnerable individuals.
His car paused at a set of lights, and he continued to scream at us, throwing his fist around and piling every swear word he knew into discriptions of us. Fed up, my spunky girlfriend shot a massive glob of spit onto his beautifully painted car. Inspired by her actions, I too walked up to his car, and kicked the back of it as hard as I could. This sent him into a frenzy, and he jumped out of his car to further yell abuse at us. We pointed out that the police were sitting across at the next set of lights, so he backed off, but continued to scream at us as he drove away.
Now, some might think it was a bit of an overreaction to kick someone’s property in response to a “compliment”. I’d like to tell those people to take their ignorant, sexist agendas and shove it up their arses. As a woman and as a lesbian, I spend every day of my life confined by the consequences of men’s belief that it is perfectly acceptable to verbally, physically and sexually assualt, harass, and intimidate me. I spend each day fighting off unwanted physical advances, being powerless to respond to drive-by sexual advances, having to shut up and ignore the endless streams of catcalls and wolf whistles, watching program after program representing women as sexual/domestic play objects for men, and battling with both men and women to convince them that yes, it is important to be aware of the the power issues that surround gender relations. I spend nights crying as a result of the sexual abuse I have experienced, days altering my routes so I can feel safe when walking home, and endless hours being overwhelmed by how much work is yet to be done in order to create a world which is safe, equal and free from violence and intimidation.
That kick to the back of the prettied-up car, therefore, was a kick for every man who has ever intimidated, objectfied, assaulted, abused, taken advantage of, raped, or hit a woman. It was for every catcall, wolf whistle, and unwanted comment any woman has ever received since becoming old enough to be violated. It was also a warning to each individual who thinks it is ok to harass women, whether in public or in private.
And fuck, it felt good.
Watch out world… I’ve discovered the power to holla back, and holla back I will.
Submitted by Sandra
So yes, I am kind of dressed up. I was just at an internship interview. Yes, I am sitting by myself eating my lunch. Thanks. By the way – what the fuck is your deal? I know you can’t be looking at train schedules for all of those 15 minutes. I know you keep leering at me. You’re not being that discrete, and you are kinda grossing me out. Why can’t I just sit alone for half an hour and eat my lunch without someone thinking I’m there to look pretty for them? I am so grossed out that I felt like I had to avoid eye contact with everyone just because some of them were like you and aparently assuming that a young woman sitting by herself was looking for some kind of attention. You’re pathetic. It took you a good twenty minutes of (not very) sneakily leering at me for you to finally walk away – don’t think I didn’t notice that you were turning around every twenty feet or so to stare some more.
Submitted by E.M.
Last night I was rushing to catch the subway at 34th Street. I was rushing down the stairs to the D platform and this little man with a rockin’ mullet, who looked like he has just walked out of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” Video, stopped, turned around, looked at me, and had the audacity to say “I lick a lot of pussy.” Eww! I have never been so upset in my life that my phone was off so I didn’t get a picture of this creep. As I was in a hurry I only had time to roll my eyes, give him a disgusted look, and flip him off.
Submitted by Rachel
No I will not take off my shirt or show you my ass for your polaroids. Skeevy asshole. I’m so happy to go back to San Francisco and say goodbye to the Bowery’s poetry scene… Where they knowingly tolerate blatant sexual harassers in their scene.
I talked smack right back at you and played along to hear more of the bullshit. And then pointed out to you that craigslist would be a better place to find women for your polaroid exploits. Put up your ad and get the fuck out of poetry.
Dear women in the Bowery Scene and people there who aren’t misogynist fuckheads, I feel sorry for you that you have to put up with that kind of thing. Why do you?
Dear woman with the shaved head who tonight at the poetry club took off your shirt for this dude in the bathroom, did you feel all empowered when this guy went on to harass other people and show your photo in his book and to boast that he likes the authentically dykey ones the best, next to the trannies?
Dear MC dude of the Urbana slam team, nice job of laughing off sexual harassment to my face. Also thanks for letting me know that “that guy hangs out here every single day at the poetry club.” That makes it all better! I’m sure everyone just thinks he’s SO funny and such a character!
Dear guy working the door… I thought you were laughing with me and were complicit in my fool-baiting. “Thanks” for then when I confronted the dude about his fucked-upedness, then acting like you didn’t hear anything wrong… And for saying that you didn’t hear anything hostile. Because we all know that asking all the women in a cafe, or a poetry reading at a bar, to take off their clothes for a camera and if they have any “intimate” piercings or tattoos is just totally FRIENDLY… It makes women feel all appreciated and welcome and stuff…
Oh also? The tempting offer of a free copy of your poetry book in exchange for the polaroids of my naked body… not tempting at all.
Submitted by Liz Henry
Passing by the local supermarket this morning on my way to work, one of the stock guys from the market (he was wearing his smock/uniform) got altogether too close to me and called me “chula.” [HB NOTE: For you nonspanish speakers, chula means sexy or hottie]. I told him to shut up, that he should concentrate on his job instead of bothering people. He just stood there and laughed. So I got out my cell phone and aimed. This guy must have some experience dodging cameras because he immediately threw his hood over his head, covered his face with one arm, and started desperately twirling around, looking for his shopping cart, trying to get away from me with his eyes covered up, keeping his face hidden. He looked like such a fool. So, I only got a lousy shot of the back of his head, but at least I got the satisfaction of watching him run and hide, like the cockroach he is.
Submitted by Nancy
Hello, I’ve just been gropped on 16th St. and 8th Ave. It was 4pm- bright sunny day, and I can’t believe this just happened to me. I have my wits about me always and I walk confidently with a sort of ‘don’t fuck with me’ look on my face, but it still happened! I was just walking, and this guy walking by, out of no where, stuck his hand out and felt my vagina. I just can’t believe it. If there’s anybody with any encouraging words, I’d love to hear them, because right now, I just feal like I never want to walk outside by myself again- and I hate that. Dammit.
Submitted by Kathleen