Verbal

Forgive me if I forgot to say "thank you," as I was busy fearing for my life.

I just saw this take place — sadly it happened too quickly for me to snap a pic.

I was walking on 11th between 1st and A, when I saw in front of me what appeared to be the start of a street brawl. These two massive dudes were screaming fighting words down the street at someone or something I couldn’t make out, whom I assumed to be another group of equally fired-up guys. “WHO THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE” and “HOLD ME BACK” and “F**K YOU” came from this one guy as his equally giant/terrifying friend sort of half-assedly tried to “hold him back.” I walked around them, trying to keep my distance but also keep an eye on the seemingly epic street fight that was about to take place. It was at exactly that moment that this guy, now red-faced and sweaty, shouted “IT WAS A F**KING COMPLIMENT!”

Something clicked. I finally see who he’s yelling at. It’s a young woman who cannot be more than 5’2″, who now has her head down and is clearly terrified. She was gone around the corner before I could fully fathom what I was seeing — a grown man screaming at a woman, who had clearly just responded negatively to his street-advances, as though he were in a bar fight in Jersey City. The very slim silver lining was that he was being theatrical (read: horrifying) enough that it attracted a lot of attention on the street. Men and women alike seemed really shocked by what was happening, so maybe, maybe someone who didn’t realize the abusive nature of street harassment which lies just under the thin veil of charm/banter learned something today. Who knows.

To that young woman, red-haired, I believe with dreadlocks, I’m sorry that happened to you, and that dude deserves to be castrated.

Submitted by Arianna

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Verbal

My mirror tells me the same thing in a much less creepy way.

Had to email this in because it was such a ridiculous sequence of events.

Just after speaking on a panel at a HEALTHY TEEN RELATIONSHIPS conference, I walk out the door to a man who says you’re beautiful in a creepy way. I was not on my game so I stood there in disgust and he says well say thank you and walks away. Then as I’m walking to the subway another creepster (this one an old man in work clothes) whispers youre beautiful as he walks by. I clearly need to learn how to summon my reactions better but I just couldn’t believe that I left a conference that educates young people about healthy relationships—and their key feature, respect—and got harassed by two men in a row. If men knew about respect for women, we wouldn’t need conferences to teach teens how to avoid abusive partners. Sigh.

Submitted by Karin

no comments 
Stalking, Verbal

NO is a full sentence.

Ugh… lately I’ve been getting harassed so much that it’s become really tiring. Every day for the past week or two I’ve had some pervert say something gross to me or do something creepy. I’m very independent and like to be on my own a lot, but since I’m a young (20) female, I feel like that makes me a prime target for harassment. To sum up the creepiest people:

About two weeks ago I was waiting for a train in a very corporate part of the city. I was standing near another girl, and then a very professional looking man came and stood between the two of us. I wrongly assumed he wouldn’t be creepy because of the way he was dressed. He started pacing back and forth between the two of us, and I also noticed him staring at me. When we got on the train he took a seat, and the girl and I stood across from each other in opposite doorways. He was VERY obviously looking at her and when she darted her head in his direction he quickly looked away. Then she went to a different part of the train, probably because he was freaking her out. Then he turned his attention to me. Okay, whatever, he’s looking at me. Creepy, but I can deal with it. BUT THEN he whipped out his phone and REALLY OBVIOUSLY took a picture of me. I got off at the next stop. Now this creepy asshole has a picture of me and probably jerked off to it. Ugh.

A few days ago I was at Columbus Circle sitting at the fountain. For awhile I noticed that this guy was sitting next to me, not doing anything in particular. But a lot of people were sitting at the fountain so I didn’t think much of it. I was on the phone with someone for a long time, and right when I hung up he tried to start a conversation with me but I could tell he was trying something so I got up and left. As I’m walking away, listening to my music, I notice the same guy walking behind me. He was walking behind me for a few minutes and I could tell he was looking at me… I couldn’t believe he was actually following me. He started asking me questions like my name and what I’m doing in the city. I know I shouldn’t have responded to him and should have just told him to fuck off, but I made up some bullshit and then when I quickly took an unexpected turn he finally left me alone.

Finally, today I was once again at Columbus Circle at the fountain (yeah, maybe I should just stop going there) taking pictures. This guy was trying to talk to me, saying things like “hey, hey girl. Hey, hey, hey!” But I just kept ignoring him and calmly walked away like I couldn’t hear him. As I was walking away though I saw the same guy following me. I thought maybe he just happened to be walking the same direction as me, but that definitely wasn’t the case. At first I wanted to just try to ignore him but I knew it wouldn’t work. He told me something like “Hey, I want to talk to you. You look really good.” I told him twice that I didn’t want to talk to him, but then he started describing the parts of me that looked good to him… gross. Then he asked me if I was single, and even when I said no he asked if I wanted to do something sexual with him (although he didn’t put it so conservatively). I didn’t show my rage because I didn’t want him to know he was affecting me. So I just calmly told him “nope” and he turned around and walked the opposite direction.

Submitted by A.

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The Movement

Anti-violence campaign targets abusive attitudes

BBC – June 2, 2010 A campaign across Wales to combat violence against women is challenging men to abandon any demeaning attitudes they hold.

A TV advert shows “abusive” behaviour towards a woman, including being leered at and enduring sexist comments.

Social Justice Minister Carl Sargeant said while that could seem harmless to men, women can feel threatened.

Welsh Women’s Aid said tackling “widespread social attitudes” was crucial.

The advert shows a gang of men in a van sounding their horn and gesturing at the woman in the street, a male office colleague ogling her, and two strangers in a bar making suggestive remarks as she passes.

The video ends with her being followed down a dark street by another man, with the headline One Step Too Far.

It then asks: “To you it’s nothing, but it all adds up. Where does ‘harmless’ end and ‘abusive’ begin?”

The Welsh Assembly Government said the campaign aimed to “stamp out unacceptable attitudes and behaviour towards women before it leads to more violent forms of abuse”.

It said it did this by highlighting “how seemingly innocent actions may be a step too far and lead to women feeling unsafe”.

Click here to read the full BBC article and watch the video campaign.

no comments 
event, NYPD FAIL, public masturbation, Stalking

Jerk-off caught in the act and then not charged because of "lack of evidence." Gross on so many levels.

It happened a few years ago while I was in college. I was working as a waitress at a busy restaurant/bar in town and would usually get home around 1:30 am. One night I came home at the usual time, took a shower and went to bed. The next morning I find a business card stuck to my door from a local police officer asking me to contact him ASAP. I called the precinct, and he tells me that a man was arrested the night before for masturbating outside of my window. Apparently, some people at a party in the next building saw him from their balcony and called the police. I was listening to my iPod when I went to bed, so I never heard the cops knock on my door.

Incidentally, I always have my curtains closed, but apparently there was an opening at the bottom where they overlapped (about the size of a quarter, according to the cops who were at the scene), so he could see into my bedroom through this limited space. As the officer is telling me this, I realize that this man saw me completely naked after my shower the night before and watched me rub lotion all over myself, too, so apparently he got quite a show.

The officer tells me the guy’s name and asks if I know him. He says that the day before this “peeping” incident the man had been released from prison where he had been serving time for a sex crime. I don’t recognize the man’s name or description, but now I am panicking. This perv knows where I live, where I work (due to my waitress uniform), what kind of car I drive, and he can probably guess that at the end of the night I come home with an apron full of cash…plus he’s a convicted sex offender. I ask the officer if I can see the guy’s mug shot, to see if I recognize him from the restaurant, and so I will know who he is if I see him anywhere near me, and he says no, that he’s not allowed to show me a photo because it would be a violation of the guy’s rights! So this guy can look at my fully naked body without my knowledge or consent, but I can’t look at his face after he’s been arrested for peeping and wanking outside of my window. So glad that his rights weren’t violated!

I seriously feared for my safety after that. I felt so exposed, and not just because he had seen me naked, but because I felt that I was denied the option to protect myself. This guy was a convicted criminal with a history of sexually assaulting women! I hated not knowing if he was out there following me or watching me again– maybe I had even unknowingly waited on him? I never spent another night at that apartment and moved three weeks later. I also never heard back from the police about the case. When I called to follow up, I was told that the charges had been dropped due to a lack of “evidence”, meaning that he had not left a DNA sample at the scene. He had been interrupted by the police approaching and so he never finished, and apparently the statements from my neighbors weren’t proof enough of his crime. I hope with all my heart that I was the last woman he violated, but somehow I doubt it.

Submitted by Anne

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The Movement

"The Last Word" by Maureen K. Doll screens at Tishman Auditorium

Little else is as sweet and satisfying as holla’ing back or attending free film screenings. So do both on Thursday and call it a night.

“Hey, baby.” “How’s it going, puss?” Though women have made enormous progress in public and private domains, the street represents a final frontier, a space where women are routinely hollered after, harassed, and humiliated. The Last Word is an unflinching look at public harassment from the perspective of women who know.

Come mingle with HollaBack staffers, filmmakers, revolutionaries, and other straphangers on Thursday, June 3, for an evening of five free short film screenings at the New School’s Tishman Auditorium. Admission is free and no reservations are required.

Tishman Auditorium
66 W. 12th St. (at 5th Ave.)
7:00-9:00pm

For more information or to see the festival’s full lineup, holla here.

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The Movement

Why I Hollaback: Talia’s Story

This is the twelfth video in the “Why I Hollaback” series. “Why I Hollaback” tells the story of how and why folks decide to take the leap, speak up, and start Holla’ing back. We will release a new story every Monday and accept submissions from all over the world. So tell us your story — Why do you Hollaback?

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The Movement

THIS is what a movement looks like.

Well folks. I’m sorry. It’s a sad day….for turds everywhere!

WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!

YOU did it!! YOU donated, YOU thought about donating, YOU wanted to donate, YOU told your friends, YOU blasted your networks, YOU blogged about it, YOU stood up and said NO, I won’t sit idly by anymore, YES it is time for some change, YES I WANT TO HELP. So congratulations for supporting this kick-ass, international MOVEMENT. You just made history! And it’s not over yet. This is just the beginning. So hollaback and let us know how you want to keep helping!

And most importantly, THANK YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Today is a good day. Music, credits, victory dance, and CELEBRATE.

Final Score: Humans $13,375; Animals ZERO

HOLLA!

no comments 
Assault, groping, public masturbation, Stalking, Verbal

Put a perv in a suit and he’s still a perv.

Thanks for all the work you are doing in the city. I sent you a story a while back and wanted to relay another disgusting event to you.

I live in Queens and I was going home a little late getting on the 7 at Grand Central and this guy in a suit was like walking really close down the stairs behind me. So I stopped right at the bottom of the stairs where the train pulls up and he walked to my left like 20 feet away and I could tell the perv was staring at me. It took a long time for the train to get there and he was staring at me the whole time. So the train pulls up and all the sudden he is like RIGHT on my ass like pushing me in. I got in and there was a corner seat by the connecting door open so I sat there thinking he couldn’t rub up on me there. So he comes and stands right in front of me and is looking right down my top.

He was like 35, 6 feet, really good looking, wavy black hair with a wedding ring on. If you guys see him watch out. So I see that his hand is moving in his right pocket and he starts flicking his tongue at me. I was fuckin repulsed and like no one could even see him cause he had me in the corner. I am like 5’1″ and I was scared so I didn’t do anything but pretend he wasn’t there.

I could see his hard on and him rubbing it in his pants. He was like mumbling stuff too. I know one time he said o so u like that huh? It was so obvious. He was also like tapping my shoe with his foot like HEY look up at me jerking off and staring at you. My stop was 2 stops away but when the next stop came up I got up and got off. He purposely blocked me and groped my boob on the way out. I was scared and pissed too. This was on Monday and I havent seen him since. I cant wait to get the phone app you are putting out. I tried to get a pic but the train pulled away as I was trying to get his picture. You can share this story because I think it might help anyone else on that line at night.

Thanks for all your help.

Submitted by Krista

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