groping

The sting of harassment doesn’t always wear off

I was sitting on Muni (N Judah) going to work and a guy was rubbing against me.  That was early morning.  I told him if he doesn’t stop, I’ll hit him where it hurts.  This was years ago, but I remember it well.

Submitted by Nancy

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groping, Verbal

Harassment bad enough to make you leave your job

This was about 7 years ago when I was working at a small gas station.  I worked 2nd shift, so I was all by myself and would have to close the store at midnight.  I had plenty of winners show up, like the old man who snuck up behind me as I was refilling the sodas one night, ran his hands up my thighs and told me I had sexy legs, and the hundreds of men asking rude questions about my “big tits,” but the worst was this guy who kept coming into the store every night for hours on end to bother me.  He hit on me constantly and demanded to know if I had a boyfriend or any tattoos (he didn’t want me getting any tattoos because it would mess up my “beautiful body”).  If another male customer came into the store he would glare at them in a hostile manner, to the point where some of them would ask me if I wanted them to call the cops, who never did anything.  Every time I tried to kick him out of the store he wouldn’t leave.  One night he hung around past closing time and when I told him to leave he became angry and told me “I know where all the cameras in this store are and I could take you in the back room and do whatever I wanted with you.”  This scared the crap out of me.  Just then a car pulled up to the door and before I could react the guy was screaming, “We’re closed!” and waving his hands around, so the car drove off.  I called the cops and as usual they laughed off my story about his threats, acted all buddy-buddy with him, and offered to give him a ride home.  I put in my notice after that.  Thankfully this loser lived in town and only rode a bicycle, so he was never able to follow me home to the boondocks in my car.

Submitted by Brittany

2 comments 
Verbal

Sometimes “Hey baby” is just too much in the context of these violent streets

I was a crew-member on a cargo aircraft.  We had just arrived at our Honolulu hotel at 3am, and I was hot, tired, dirty, and pissed off because I had just started my period.  I didn’t have any tampons or pads, so at 3 am, I had to walk 3 blocks down the street to a 7-11.  Rather than take a shower and dress nicely, I just pulled on a pair of jeans, sandals and the dirty, smelly t-shirt I had been wearing under my uniform.  As I passed the first cross street, I saw police tape blocking off the street, and a body, covered with yellow plastic, lying in the middle of the street.  I have no idea what happened, but the cops were all over that block.  I continued toward the second cross street when I saw several people waiting at a bus stop.  One guy, sitting on a wall, made the “Hey Baby!” attempt on me, but I was on a mission to get tampons.  The 7-11 was in the middle of the third block.  I got my tampons and some chocolate, and headed back.  As I passed the bus stop, Romeo hopped down from the wall he was sitting on and fell into step beside me.  “Hey baby….how ya d…..” was as far as he got.  He made the mistake, the BIG mistake, of putting his hand on my elbow, as though he were escorting me somewhere.  I totally freaked out.  I started screaming at him, “Get your Fu**ing hand off of me!  Who the Hell do you thing you are!!  I’m not your Fu**ing BABY!! Do I look like one of your Fu**ing whores?  What the hell is your Fu**ing problem.  Get away from me or I’m going to kick your balls so far up your ass, you’ll have to cough to masturbate!!”  I swear, those were my exact words!  I have a very loud voice which the guys I work with will attest to.  No one has any trouble hearing me.  As I yelled those words at this cretin, I was advancing on him like I was ready to kill him.  I was.  He, seeing the danger he was in, held up both hands in front of him, and as he was back-pedaling, said something to the effect of ” I just wanted to know when the bus was leaving!”  At full volume, (loud enough to strip paint!), I told him “Look at the Fu**ing schedule, Ass Hole!”  I then took my tampons, and resumed my walk to the hotel.  As I crossed the last (cordoned off) street, I started to laugh.  The look on that idiot’s face was hilarious!  And I could only imagine what those cops would have thought if they had had to pull me off this guy.   I laughed all the way up to my hotel room.  When I saw myself in the mirror, I laughed even harder!  I was so dirty and greasy, he must have thought I was a waif.  I’ve never forgotten this.

Submitted by Chris

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public masturbation

Keep your junk in the trunk

First off I have been a victim of the harassment crap since the age of 13, I am 24. Most of the cowards pull up in a car and flash them selves or play with their junk as if I’m asking for some kind of action. It’s lame and sickening; get a life dude or GO HOME! what is the need of showing it off on the streets. Anyway one of the 10 situations I want to talk about is called “unwanted breaktime” lol. One day I was at work, it was a nice day but I didnt want to go on a walk so I stayed in and chilled on the couch in our upstairs conference room. I cracked open the blinds to let some sun in and seen a helicopter right out the window, me being amazed with flying machines caused me to pop my head through the blinds and look as close as I could. I was then distracted by a drunk guy stumbling down the street and watched to see if he might get hit by a car or whatever and some mo**** fu**** pulled right next to him in a silver SUV Frontier, mind you I was looking down from a two story building, and the pig ass driver was playing with himself like no tomorrow while looking up at me!!! I couldnt believe my eyes! well I could but I COULDNT!.. I WAS UPSTAIRS!.. AT WORK!.. IN A BUILDING! What the HELL!! The words “keep your eyes on the road” went out the window that day, along with his clean record. I ran down stairs and out the back door of our office and got his plates. Now he’s a known offender. HOLLA!

Submitted by Jackie

no comments 
Stalking

If it feels creepy, it probably is creepy

This guy at my church is constantly asking for hugs…and when he hugs me he squeezes me and says ummm ugh unnnnn.   I hate this.  I asked several deacons to speak to him along with telling my Pastor.  This guy who was supposed to be a deacon himself eventually left the church.  I feel bad that he is no longer a member but I do feel safer.  Now we have another weirdo there and his brother is a known serial killer.  He is always trying to help me and asking me questions out of just trying to get my attention.  I always try to be pleasant and usually decline his offers of assistance.  He is always persistent but I am always firm and tell him I do not need help.  To all women who are having this issue….I will tell you that you need to keep your distance from men like this, because they have the potential to become extremely aggressive, disrespectful, untrustworthy and above all unpredictable.   Never let your guards down and never be caught in a situation where you are alone with a person with this personality.

Submitted by Shelly La Mar

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Verbal

Harassment can happen anywhere… even on a boat.

While flyfishing in my kayak in the northern location of Lake Champlain in Vermont, I realized a fishing boat with two middle aged men was circling my boat and watching me as I casted my line. I was wearing my bathing suit, a one piece.  I continued to cast  and I heard catcalls, whistles and unnecessary comments such as “hey sweetie, fish for me”, “let’s make it a threesome”, The two men began to speed up there boats obviously making waves which made caused me to stop fishing and pick up my paddle to head my boat safely into the waves to prevent me from tipping over. Every time I stopped and began to fish when the waves settled, the men began revving up the boat, making waves and causing me once again to stop fishing. The men would then call out to me that they could give me lessons, to come to them and hop on for a “fishing orgy”. finally I put down my pole, quietly turned my boat in there direction and called out as loud as I could so other nearby fishing boats could hear me. I yelled to them there boatname Boat ID, and took my camera with a zoom and waved my flare  yelled out that if they dared harass me any more that I would set off the flare. I yelled out to the other fishing boats that I greatly appreciated the assistance  and announced these men were harrasing me. Three boats located on the other side of me stopped their fishing started yelling at the “bad guys” and all three began to come to my rescue. I yelled to the two bad boys that if they dared approach me again that they would be in deeper trouble than the depth of the lake and their pocket books would not be able to afford such a boat that they were in.

Submitted by Katra

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Street harassment in the media, The Movement

Anti-harassment sentiment gaining big ground in India’s urban centers

With recent headlines calling attention to a Mizo gang rape case and a popular Delhi actress not keeping silent about being groped in public at a half marathon, India’s press is taking a much closer look at the situation on the front lines.

Mid-Day’s “A Tale of Two Cities” is chock full of interviews with psychologists, sociologists, government officials, and women who are sick and tired of being unwilling participants in a war they’re not interested in fighting.

“Their eyes show how much they respect women. Even men who are old enough to be your father don’t feel ashamed to pass lewd comments or touch inappropriately,” says one of the article’s sources.

Read the full article here.

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The Movement

Ever been stuck in the back of a perv’s taxi cab?

The ultimate nightmare: being trapped in some sicko psycho’s taxi cab and no one knows you’re there. With things like Facebook’s check-in feature and Foursquare, something that allows women to check into a cab and simultaneously register the car number and driver information should not be light years away. If you’re working on a solution such as this, please let us know.

And it sounds like someone is. Take this quick 10 question survey and hold your breath for something on the market soon. It takes less than 30 seconds and will let its creators know that we want it! CAB SAFETY SURVEY

In the meantime, please help Hollaback collect some information on this subject by sharing your taxi cab experiences in the comment section here.

2 comments 
Street harassment in the media

Navigating the fine line between street harassment and not knowing how talk to women.

“…And while human kindness is free and something we should all attempt to keep in abundant supply, it’s also unfair to demand that a woman is constantly doing hostess duty for every Tom, Dick and Hakeem who wants to demand a few minutes of her time,” writes The Beautiful Struggler in “Real Talk, Wrong Talk”. Insert big nod here.

Another quote from The Beautiful Struggler we like? “No one likes feeling like prey, or as if they are auditioning for a sexual role they have no interest in playing.” Right on.

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Verbal

Bystanders hollaback, too

Walking to the subway on my lunch break yesterday I came upon a group of losers loitering around the entrance. I heard them call to a woman behind me who was also trying to reach the stairs to get to the platform. One of the men apparently needed some attention and proceeded to follow the woman, saying all sorts of things like “oh yeah baby, yeah…” I was like, who are you? Austin Powers? This is lame…So, with the girl behind me (who was trying her best to ignore that this creep was following her, I stopped and looked at the man and said “Why don’t you guys show some respect for women in the streets and stop harassing them? You don’t need to say things like that to women” in a totally quizzical and non-threatening manner. The guy’s eyes darted from me to the girl and back to me again and he was obviously very confused. “What?” he said, not so “smooth” anymore. In fact he just seemed like a dumb little boy and just sort of walked off. It was so easy. I kept walking and I heard the girl call out “Thank you” to me from behind me. I felt really good.

Submitted by Vee

2 comments 
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