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This is your opportunity to use your time, hands, feet, voice and general awesomeness to raise awareness of teen dating violence in the month of February!
The statistics featured on the Teen-Dating Violence Awareness Month website are staggering: One in three teens in the US is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner; nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year; one in three teens in the US is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner; only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse; and 80% of parents believe it is not an issue.
But together we can change this! There’s an abundance of ways that you can get involved to make teen-dating violence not only common knowledge but a thing of the past. Here’s some ways in which you can alter the course of history:
– Write a Letter: Use our templates to petition the leaders in your community to celebrate February with you.
– Join a Group: Join the movement against dating abuse by joining already existing campaigns.
– Host an Event: Organize a press conference, poetry slam or play – you name it we have the tools you need to get started.
– Write an Op-ed: Make your voice heard across your entire community by writing an op-ed. We have a template, writing tips and submission ideas to get you going.
–Post About It: Spread the word by posting a virtual message or actual poster about Teen DV Month.
Teen DV Month is now in its third year of existence. It is celebrated by leaders in government student bodies, schools, youth service providers, community-based organizations, parents and now you! So get organizing and make a change so the next generation won’t have to.
One afternoon this summer I was biking home from our local bike co-op when I pulled up to a red light next to one other vehicle. The light had just turned red when I stopped and almost instantaneously the windows of the car next to me rolled down and two men in the car began shouting at me. The driver was quietly saying sexual threats that I could hardly hear under a passenger yelling “I like your bike. Is it a nimbus 2000? Is it Lance Armstrong’s bike? You’re really cute.” It seemed harmless enough until I heard the driver shout “I want to put my dick in your helmet… I want to put my dick in your ass.” As soon as the light changed, I found an alternate way home to ensure that the car couldn’t follow me home. The whole time it was happening I was heartbroken that the woman in the front seat didn’t try to stop them from harassing me. I am a very femme-presenting man and I will not let ignorance keep me from living openly. I holler back.
BY CATHERINE FAVORITE
This year Target is selling one Valentine’s Day card that draws only the sound of crickets and tumbleweeds rather than laughter. The front of the card reads:
“Stalker is a harsh word” and the inside says: “I prefer Valentine”.
Considering that 54 percent of female murder victims reported being stalked, this is one crime that should never be equated with love. Regardless of your feelings about Valentine’s Day, it should go without saying that there is never a good time to make light of stalking, especially not on a day that is supposed to be about letting the people in your life know you care about them. Apparently, Target has not gotten the memo, yet.
By making light of what is a serious, terrifying and potentially violent crime for 1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men in the United States, Target is normalizing the message that stalking is acceptable behavior. Even worse, they are diminishing the concerns of victims of stalking and contributing to the dangerous attitude that one should not report it to the police. So Hollabackers, let’s call Target out on their insensitivity! By signing this Care2 petition, you will help send a message to Target that jokes about stalking are not edgy or humorous.
I was pumping gas when a group of teenage boys pulled up to the intersection. They rolled the windows down and one began yelling things – starting with “pump that gas, girl.” I looked up then turned to ignore him. He kept yelling, getting more suggestive but not explicit.
After months of walking to the bus to yells of “hey, girl” or horns being honked by anonymous drivers, I was fed up. So I flipped him off and yelled, “f**k you, come say it to my face, you little chickenshit.” And there was silence. Then I heard a weak, “that’s not very nice.” And they drove away.
I love his response. He wanted me to be passive, afraid, shamed, an object of his attention. My aggression set him back. I’m sure he won’t forget it soon. I wouldn’t recommend my method to anyone, but considering my audience and genuine willingness to fight it was fitting.
I was baby sitting for my sister and brother in law while they went out to spend time with my brother in law’s brother who was in town. they came home after a night of partying and while every one else went to bed my brother in laws brother decided to get touchy. I told him no multiple times and he still continued to touch me, kiss me and grope me. He was drunk and wouldnt stop. i didnt sleep at all that night. I just want to find closer with this. it happened about 3 years ago. no charges were ever pressed(family said we would deal with it) I havent seen him since.
BY CATHERINE FAVORITE
A blogger out of the U.K. has an excellent suggestion that we would like to reiterate: “Operation Creep-Be-Gone”. Have you ever marveled at what street harassers get away with in public? Has there ever been a time when you were being followed, catcalled or made to feel unsafe in a public place and why, despite all the other people around you, you still felt unsafe or threatened?
The inspiration for “Operation Creep-Be-Gone” came from this blogger’s particular experience at witnessing another woman being harassed:
I saw a woman, on a busy Euston Road at 6pm, being hounded by a man. He wasn’t being outwardly aggressive, but he was sliming round her like a slug in an overcoat, asking questions and ignoring all clear signals (headphones in, one-word answers, refusal to make eye contact) that she wasn’t interested.
I caught the girl’s eye and mouthed “are you ok?”, to which she shook her head. So then I had a decision to make, quickly. To barge in like the Green Cross Code Man and say “STOP, letch! She doesn’t want to talk to you. RETREAT,” before blasting him with a sonic ray gun, or the alternative; pretend to be her mate. “There you are!” I cried, launching myself on her (for if I’m going to do a good deed I may as well get a hug out of it). “Hi!” she faked, as I dragged her away. Then we stood together on the pavement miming friendly chat like a couple of am-dram actors, while Slug Man stared, lingered, and eventually slithered off back to his cabbage patch.
While this blogger rightly stepped in to help, she noted, “There must have been 20 people within view and earshot standing nearby, yet nobody else paid the slightest attention.” Does our fear of bringing unwanted negative attention onto ourselves influence a decision not to step in to assist someone, or is it because many still dismiss street harassment as a legitimate threat?
Regardless of the reasons behind this seeming ambivalence, this woman’s story serves as an important reminder to speak up, not just against your own street harassers, but to the street harassment of others, as well.
…nobody’s saying you have to leap in with your handbag swinging. Even a stern glance or a calm, disapproving presence could help. A well-timed ‘tut’ might still go some way to helping these lowlifes learn that harassing us for the simple crime of possessing ovaries is Not Ok.
The idea behind Operation Creep-Be-Gone could go a long way toward combating not only the actions of street harassers, but to countering the quiet, implicit acceptance of anyone who witnesses another person getting street harassed.
So the latest Super Bowl controversy, aside from rapper MIA flipping the bird during her performance with Madonna, is the Fiat Car commercial starring Romanian model Catrinel Menghia. Despite Fiat revealing today that the commercial achieved the highest cumulative increase in car model page traffic, we would like to pop that balloon by cataloguing several reasons why we just plain don’t like it.
Apart from objectifying females and condoning street harassment the advert plays with some very dangerous race and gender stereotyping. The commercial portrays a seemingly dumb white guy, ogling the classically hyper-sexualized woman of color. She is seen as provocative, voiceless and tattoed, a stereotype that we should be rejecting, not reinforcing. Check it out for yourself.
In the past year, Filmmaker and Academy of Art University student, Tiye Rose Hood, has created and released two compelling films. “Objectified” focuses on street harassment, and the latest “Jenella” published in January, explores the blame culture and the issue of silence associated with sexual assault. The inspiration for all of Tiye’s documentaries comes from what she describes as a deep-rooted “interest in work that inspires understanding and social change,” as well as a passion for film and digital cinematography.
Produced in 2011, street harassment documentary “Objectified” debuted on Vimeo in June of last year and was nominated for Best Documentary in Academy of Art’s 2011 Epidemic Film Festival. Being nominated for the award was’ a wonderful feeling’ but Tiye admits that the driving force behind its production was not a quest for critical acclaim. Tiye was inspired by her own experiences of street harassment and the stories that others had shared with her:
“It is often quite irritating to hear honks, whistles, and obscenities when all you want to do is go home after a really long day at work or school, and that’s something we all agreed on. My roommates and I all ride the bus and walk, so we encounter our share of rude and unwanted attention. And pretty much all of the attention occurs (seemingly) without a catalyst.”
As a young woman that spends her life moving through public spaces, Tiye, recognizes the importance of the movement against street harassment:
“I think the movement against it is important, and that ultimately everyone should be able to feel safe and comfortable no matter what they happen to have on.”
With social injustice and the idea of sharing stories still fresh in Tiye’s mind she embarked upon “Jenella”, which originally began as an assignment for a documentary class. However, in the middle of the semester the focus shifted:
“I met Jenella through one of my roommates, who told me a little bit about what happened to her. I knew her story had to be told in some manner. Jenella is the strongest individual I have met to date.”
Originally, the documentary was intended to be about rape crisis counselors, featuring footage from last year’s high profile Slutwalks rather than “one women’s struggle.” But Tiye felt that Jenella’s story was one that had to be told and focused upon:
“I met Jenella through one of my roommates, who told me a little bit about what happened to her. After I met her and started to learn more about her, I knew her story had to be told in some manner. I also met Chimine Arfuso, a speaker, philanthropist, and the creator of Create Social Change. Chimine shared her experiences and the methods she used to cope with them. Jenella and Chimine are the strongest individuals I have met to date.”
The beauty of Tiye’s work is her recognition of the power of story telling, the idea that if we share our stories, we gather strength, momentum and knowledge to make a change and raise awareness. “Jenella” rejects the concept of sweeping incidents under the carpet and tackles the “blame culture” where survivors are questioned as to why they made decisions that could have possibly led to their attack.
Born in the Los Angeles area, Tiye grew up in Pasadena and Altadena and went to school in Pasadena. She loves to randomly bake and admits that she has “fallen deeply in love with the painstaking process of using lights, the sun, and a light meter to create and manipulate the visual aesthetics and get the desired results,” and looks forward to soon be working with 35mm film.
Tiye is inspired by several different directors, cinematographers and musicians including: Paul Thomas Anderson, Spike Jonze, Stanley Kubrick, Emmanuel Lubezki, Joanna Newsom, Bradford Cox. But high profile role models aside, the aspiring director is most motivated by her friends whom she describes as:
“Strong, fearless, passionate and very highly involved in equal rights movements.”
When asked about the future, the Best Documentary in Academy of Art’s 2011 nominee quite modestly reveals that she does not know. However, what she does know is that she really wants “to learn, enjoy life, enjoy the ups and downs of film-making and graduate!” And we at Hollaback! say good luck to you Tiye and keep driving social change and being generally awesome!
I am 19, and my best friend is 17. While we were picking up a few things at Wal-mart, we noticed three men who were following us around the store. I am a Wal-Mart employee, and Coffeyville is a small town, so I actually recognized the men who were following us because they had given myself and other female employees problems in the past. At first they were just making remarks at my friend and I, so we just ignored it. As we were checking out, the three men got behind my friend and I. At first we just ignored them, but as I was paying for our items, I noticed that the men were standing very close to my friend, and one of them was standing directly behind her, actually touching her with his body. I became very angry, and pushed the man away from my friend who did not know what to do, and then asked for the cashier to call for a manager so they could call the police, because the man was sexually harassing a minor. Unfortunately the three men actually ran out of the store. But even thought they got away, I still feel good about what I did.
I am so glad I found this space– this experience has left me with a very lonely and awful feeling all day. I am visiting New Orleans for a business convention, so I am required to wear business professional attire. Because I am short, I prefer to wear “skinny jeans” style dress pants because I look like I am swimming in wide leg pants. My clothing was form fitting because, plain simply ,that is more flattering on me and because I feel confident wearing that style.
While walking to lunch in the french quarter I was called to repeatedly by different men. At first it didn’t bother me because I took it as “southern charm,” but when I walked past a convince store in front of a group of men, they literally were screaming at me. One man even said that he “was horny.” I felt mortified and objectified. While I silently stormed away another group of men at the end of the street continued where they left off. Further down a man pulled his car over to ask “if he could walk me home” that night. I could not believe these men had the nerve to make me feel this way. I felt ashamed for the way I was dressed (even though I was completely business appropriate). I wish I had the nerve to say something, but I was honestly scared that I would just provoke them. I am trying not to let this experience taint my otherwise amazing time in New Orleans.
Thank you, Hollaback, for giving me an outlet to vent. These stories are hard to share.