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I was staying the night at my friends home during a rather bad time in my life (breakup with boyfriend) and it was really late at night but I was not tired, I left my room and went into her kitchen to grab something to eat and noticed her roomate (Male, but they aren’t dating) sitting on a chair in the living room adjacent to the kitchen. I had talked to him a few times and he seemed like a really nice guy, was also very attractive. He made a comment which drew me over to the couch that butts up against the recliner he was sitting in. He had a laptop sitting on the arm of the chair with a pornographic forums website up called dick flash. He told me he stumbled across it by accident and told me about a video of girl getting flashed by a guy who was asking for directions. I told him that was crazy and he asked me what I would do in that same situation, I told him I wasn’t sure but that it would probably depend if i got a creepy vibe from the guy like he wanted to rape or kill me.
I had put something in the microwave and went to fetch it before coming back to sit on the couch and watch TV for a few minutes. A few minutes later I was looking through my phone pictures about to post something on Facebook and noticed out of the corner of my eye his hand moving up and down behind a pillow, a sinking feeling came over me when I realized what he was probably doing, wanting proof for my friend i turned my phone on camera mode and waited. A few minutes later he said “hey check this out”, somehow the words didn’t register that he was about to flash me and I looked over at the computer thinking that is what he had referred to and when nothing notable showed up i realized he was probably doing what you could imagine he was doing… masturbating. His penis wasn’t hard and I was able to snap a photo of it. I acted disgusted and got up and left. I went to my roomates room and woke her up shaking. It was so pathetic, what a creeper.
Happy Friday Hollaback’ers!
2015 is starting out to be a very busy year. We’ll be hosting our 3rd HOLLA::REVOLUTION here in NYC on March 5th at The New School. Watch out for the official announcement! In other news at the HB HQ, we are joined by 4 new interns, Lauren, Catherine, Katherine and Caroline. A warm welcome to this new group of badasses! They’ve been busy learning the HOLLA ways, but you’ll be meeting them very soon. In partnership news, our program associate Jae Cameron (who celebrates 2 years at Hollaback! this month) attended an annual meeting for the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault!
And here’s what’s been up in the rest of Holla Land:
Hollaback! Baltimore is “benefitting” from a benefit show at The Sidebar next Saturday (1/31) featuring Baltimore-based female-fronted bands such as WET BRAIN, Crimson Wave, and The Degenerettes! Rock and roll!
Hollaback! Croatia had coverage of their safer spaces campaign on local radio and two newspapers, and this Saturday they’ll be training a club about how to be a safer space!
Hollaback! Bristol events manager Lea Viljoen participated in a round table discussion on sexual harassment and abuse for Bristol Cable which will be published as a podcast and print article on February 7th in the Bristol Cable.
Holla and Out! Let’s make this a year to remember!
The Hollaback! Team
Walking to college through a shopping centre a “gentleman” held the door for me. Same man then follows me gets ahead of me and constantly kept turning around to make sure I was there this made me anxious but then he walked down and alley and I just thought what a creep so kept walking and he appears at side street looks around for witnesses, asks the time and proceeds to verbally assault me with explicit sexual language. Contacted police all caught on CCTV. No charges. Not my choice. WTF.
I was on my way to work, and wanted to grab a sandwich at a local bakery/cafe. I usually go in, but they have a drive-thru, so I thought I’d just do that to save time. The new guy there seemed okay the last time I went into the cafe, so I thought nothing of it when he greeted me at the window. He handed me the food and drink, I handed him the money, and was given my change. He smiled as he gave it to me, and said something that sounded like “sexy,” or “you’re sexy.” I couldn’t clearly hear it, but I didn’t need to. It didn’t quite hit me at first, so I just sort of absent-mindedly nodded. He walked back toward the kitchen, still grinning through the window. It dawned on me then, and made me furious. He must’ve known that by being at the window, he wouldn’t be heard by any of the other professional and kind people who work there. I usually go there to pick up baked goods to bring home, and now I don’t want to go alone. It infuriates me that just because he’s an employee, I should somehow be less deserving of comfort in going there. I already stopped going to another casual order then pick up type restaurant where a cook hit on me in a creepy way. I hate how flustered I still get in these situations, and that men like himself make it so that I rearrange my routines out of anxiety. When I told my boyfriend about it, I broke down and cried, because I feel like I’m running out of places I can go and feel comfortable. We skipped going to the gym that night too, because I was afraid of any unwanted attention or conversation attempts. I wish the men who do it could just stop making excuses and grow up.
My friend and I (females) were walking home around 1am on Main Street. We were walking behind a man who was following two girls. How do I know he was following them? He was walking too close to them for comfort, the girls were looking behind them at the man frequently while walking very fast, and when they started crossing the street he did the exact same thing. They girls noticed, so they came back to the original side where my friend and I were. He disappeared into the neighborhood.
Today after work at the supermarket, very tired and wanting to go about my business as fast as possible, a man came up to me randomly, bumped me on the arm and said “You’re beautiful”. As he said it, he leered closely over me, making sure to keep creepy eye contact as long as possible. Unsolicited remarks like that really grind my gears, and they’re such a normalised everyday act that happens to women the world over, men invading women’s private space in public, reminding us just where we stand to them, telling us we’re nothing without men’s bodily validation. Naturally I froze, I was actually this close to saying thank you to him, it’s my natural reaction to a compliment, until I figured this was harassment and most certainly not a compliment. Well this is to you rando surpermarket creep: I know I’m beautiful. I don’t need your approval. You can f*ck right off.
I was walking down the street with my aunt when I was 12 after a 4th of July parade and it was super hot out. Not that it matters but I was wearing some jean shorts and I do have an above average butt, and a car drove by and a guy screamed “dat ass!” The worst part is it took me three years to realize that it wasn’t a compliment, but sexual harassment.
I was 12 or 13 years old shopping downtown and not that it matters but I was wearing jeans and a t shirt. Anyway next thing I see is a guy walking towards me with this creepy deep look in his eyes and says to me “I will have sex with you!” I just kept walking but felt uncomfortable for the rest of the day. This was my first form of harassment in my life. The worst part is I felt like it was my fault, I was apologetic for walking alone down the street.
I was just walking to Yoga at 8 am, talking to my Mom when a guy passed me – he was quite short, dark hair and was wearing an ochre colored winter down jacket with a hood. I turned around, because I had forgotten my Yoga mat and shortly thereafter I felt someones hands between my legs – squeezing; I turned around and saw the guy in the brown jacket already running away from me and crossing the street and turning around to see what I would do. I yelled at him but did not follow him. Disgusting!
I was walking along the road on a Sunday morning with an elderly home, school and supermarket beside it. This small, white car slowed down beside me with it’s windows rolled down and the young driver inside wasn’t wearing any pants. He was masturbating and flashed his erected penis and smiled at me at the same time. I looked at him, wasn’t shocked at all( I don’t know why), looked away and kept walking. He drove back from the roundabout and smiled at me from the opposite direction of the road. This happened in Lucerne, Switzerland.